Author: lj user="azzy"

title: With this love/ xuil nindol ssinssrigg

fandom: Forgotten Realms

characters: Zacknafein, Drizzt

warnings: angst.

rating: T

Track: Peter Gabriel & Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - Taboo.

AN; This is uber short, so i didn't bother to bug GS to beta. Plus it ain't going to be uploaded anywhere else.

Drizzt was laying unresponsive still, Zacknafein sat at the foot end of the bed, looking at his son. He leaned in and brushed some wet hair from the teens forehead, a tender gesture that would be frowned upon if seen. Zacknafein was sure that even Drizzt would have denied him the touch if he had been awake. The older Drow smiled bitterly, he would always be conflicted between buyring the child in a warm embrace, or teach him how to be a killer. Not just 'a' killer, but the best damn killer in all of underdark. Zacknafein closed his light sensitive, purple eyes and sighed. Why couldn't he do both? He hated that he couldn't teach his son empathy while teaching him to kill with cold blood. But he knew the answer, to be a cold blooded murderer, and surviving in Menzoberranzan, he could not afford to learn of mercy.

But he had seen Drizzt fight, knew his blood flowed in his veins. He knew what Drizzt could become if he only tried. And he knew that Drizzt did not belong here, his son was not like the rest of the Menzoberranzan drows. But to contain such a dangerous trait as intelligence and compassion, would only get you killed or worse. He had seen drow after drow falling to the evil that emitted from Lloth, from this place. Becoming mindless killing machines, which in the end was what got themselves killed, their souls dead decades before their bodies. But maybe it was better to be dead than to live in the same mental prison as he did.

Would it not be merciful to let his son die? Maybe he should just smother him in the pillow and no one would ever know. But Zacknafein found that mercy is a double edged sword, the same mercy he would show his son, sheltering him from the same life as he had, ending his life. Was the same mercy that stayed his hand, unable to harm his own offspring.

Zacknafein opened his eyes and took his sons fever warm hand in his. The older drow felt his chest contract, taking a deep breath, funny how decades of hiding every emotion you had, came down to this. He didn't feel sorrow for Drizzt falling ill, he felt sorrow for Drizzt maybe surviving the fever.