Disclaimer: I don't own the DBZ gang, a rich Japanese man does. No money being made here, I just write for my own pleasure and the pleasure of others. :)
Rating : PG 13
Warnings: angst, Bulma POV
Summary: Bulma get the news of Vegeta's death at the hands of the Androids.
To those of you out there who have read this already on Media Miner please note that this fic is mine, I wrote it back in August 2002 and it has been archived on my web site the Dragonball - Diaries since then. The person calling themselves Sesshomarukurama who posted this fic on Media miner is nothing but a common thief who stole not only this fic from me but 3 others as well. This plagarist has since been reported to the powers that be and removed from MMorg. I thank the webmasters for their quick response to my notification of this blatent act of plagarisim. Without further ado...
" Bulma's Tears "
Aug. 2002 Debs-dragon
I sat, totally numb as the shock of the words hit me. No, it couldn't be true, there had to be a mistake. Not my lovely prince. My head bowed but still the tears would not fall. It couldn't be true... I wouldn't let it be true... and yet somehow, deep inside, I knew that Trunks wasn't lying.
I raised my head to stare out the window, the words still echoing through my vacant mind.
"It's father... I ...I ...I tried... Oh, kami, I tried, but they were too strong. I couldn't stop them... I couldn't save him..." My son's words had come through broken and stammered as he tried so hard to spare me the pain; but knowing it was inevitable.
"I let him die!"
The agonised scream tore from my son's throat as I held him in my arms and tried to comfort him. "Not your fault... no one's fault..." I soothed. Eventually his tears slowed and his body ceased its trembling. He fell into an exhausted sleep.
I stared across at his five year old form spread on the couch. The heavy rise and fall of his chest indicating his breathing was finally slow and regular. I tucked a blanket about his body and gently smoothed away the traces of his tears. For one who had never spent much time with his father, he had developed a strong bond. I only hoped his father knew.
I hadn't wanted him to go; and yet I knew he must. I was just thankful that while Trunks had defied me and followed his father, he had returned safely. Vegeta was never one to turn down a good fight. I was sure that it was the scent of battle that coursed through his veins, not blood. How wrong I had been. That proof was now spilled to be soaked up by the Earth's hungry crust. Would this planet's appetite for the precious life fluid ever be sated? How many more lives had to be sacrificed before the torment could end?
And still the tears did not fall.
Those two... Come from nowhere... their destination still unknown, and yet I sensed within myself that I knew where they were headed... and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
The day they were unleashed on this vulnerable planet was the beginning of the end. The only motive being revenge. The revenge of a twisted and bitter man. Ironically, he was to be denied this revenge as the one he plotted and schemed against had already passed from this dimension. I guess that's why he left the pair of ruthless killers to carry out their course of death and destruction.
And they were good at their job.
The small band of warriors had tried to stop them. I watched, helplessly, as one by one they fell to the stronger, evil force known as Seventeen and Eighteen.
When my prince had left that morning, I knew... Somehow I knew I had seen him for the last time.
I can still see his face as he left, that ever present smirk, the eyebrows as they knotted together while he admonished my concerns. If I tried hard enough I could still hear his voice echoing through my brain as he told me not to be weak.
I tried to etch every possible feature of him into my memory. Call it woman's intuition, a foresight; hell, fortune telling if you will, but I knew I would not see my prince so vibrant and full of life again.
And still the tears did not fall.
I stared blankly at the wall as I allowed my memories to take me back over the years. I can still see my prince as I first laid eyes on him all that time ago on Namek. I smiled at the recollection. I had been scared shitless. All the stories of his fights with Goku and the havoc he had caused, killing my once true love, Yamcha, had only served to make me extremely wary of the black haired warrior.
Then he changed. Although trust was still to be granted, he made his confessions and was able to lay his soul to rest, free of the burden of his crimes. That confession struck something within me when I found out about it.
I began to fear him less when we arrived back on the Earth, knowing he had a heart underneath that cold exterior made him more... human.
I guess I saw him as a challenge in a way. Returning from his universal search, tired and defeated, even though he would never admit to it, I rose to meet the challenge.
That was when I felt the first spark ignite.
A man of arrogance, unbidden pride and an inner strength that constantly drove him were some of the features that attracted me to him, once I had gotten over my initial fear that is.
I opened up my home to him, fed him, sheltered him and provided him with the training facilities he desired. I tended his wounds when he was hurt and suffered the many insults and blows to my pride when he sort to torment me with his words.
I also gave him my heart.
Fondly recalling the many verbal sparring sessions we had shared, I realise now it was just your way of showing me you cared. The upbringing you had, did not allow for emotions and you knew no other way to let your feelings show, but I knew.
I will miss those moments of truth, the only times you would allow the words to flow, and reading between the lines, I could sense your inner turmoil. The heady exchange of insults, a battle of wits with more often than not the contest ending in a draw, told me more about you than actions or any detailed narrative ever could.
Never again would I enjoy such a session.
And still the tears would not fall.
Our lives became joined in a manner that most could not understand. They thought I was mad to trust you, to love you, and yet it was I that pitied them, for they did not know you like I did.
You portrayed the epitome of the ultimate warrior, always striving for perfection. Pushing yourself to the outer limits and beyond. I can still see your sweat soaked body, hair that defied gravity, your muscles trembled and protested as you forced them to continue with the punishing training ritual you had set. So intent on becoming the best, you often forgot the small things along the way.
The way you set your mind to doing something and giving it your all until the task was complete was a feature I admired in you. Never one to do things by halves, you strove to reach the peak in the best possible way.
Our love only grew and blossomed. Although you would never admit to it openly, I knew you cared. The gentle touches and rare smiles you graced me with will be in my heart to treasure forever.
When we made love, again you gave your all. The soft caress of your hands on my body as you sought to give me everything. The gentleness of your thrusts as you buried yourself within my warmth. You were magnificent to see, to experience and to hold.
I never understood the term 'making love' until you took me to your bed and proceeded to show and teach me. My body became your playground as yours became mine. I was happy investigating the new territory, learning the new sensations that led to desires I could only dream about.
And that's all I will have now... My dreams.
I would give anything just to hold you in my arms once more, to share my body with you. To be able to run my fingers over the vast expanse of your skin, map every dip, every crevice. To feel you take me and respond to my touch. To feel my own body return the favour. To have you take me to the pinnacle of pleasure and race with me down the other side...
And still the tears won't fall.
When our son was born you were so proud.
Everyone else thought you were cold hearted as you acted indifferent, but I saw the pride in those eyes. I could see it in the way you touched him and held him. Tender moments when you thought no one was watching.
As he grew you seemed to put distance between yourself and your son. He idolised you, worshipped the very ground you walked upon, and when you did spend a little of your time with him, his face would light up. He wanted nothing more that to train with you, become a warrior like you, for you to be proud, to be like you. But try as he might you never acknowledged him for that.
You could see, what I was blind to.
You wanted your son to grow up strong, to become a great warrior like yourself and yet you wanted more for him. You wanted him to know that there was more to life, to have the feelings that you were denied, to know that with the love of the fight you needed to have compassion too.
Yes, you wanted him to be like you; but with a soul.
Staring at our son's sleeping form I can tell you now... you succeeded.
While these heartless monsters that walk the planet now continue with their path of death, destruction and torture, there is no hope for deliverance in the near future, but one day... one day it will be their turn.
They may have taken your body from me, they may have taken your life force. But they cannot take my memories or the love we shared.
I recall your face once more and feel the gentle kiss you bestowed upon my lips as you left.
Finally, the tears fall...
~ Fin ~