This was a Christmas present for my friend Brooke which I wrote about...2 years ago, and just rediscovered it.
I do not own Harry Potter or Yaoi.
It was Friday morning in the Great Hall, and the ceiling showed the perfect bright blue sky above the four house tables. Owls were soaring through the air as the daily post came in, flying to the receivers of packages, letters, and newspapers.
One owl in particular was making its way down to fourth-year, muggle-born, brilliant, obnoxious Hermione Granger, of whom was making polite conversation to what seemed to be a half-asleep Ronald Weasley. Dropping a magenta colored magazine entitled Witch Weekly in front of her, it flew away along with its other feathered friends.
"Hermione…" Ron half-yawned. "Why do you read that magazine? Rita Skeeter only published one article in there, all her others are in the Daily Prophet."
Glancing up from her pages, Hermione threw Ron an annoyed look, as if what she was about to say was obvious. "Because Ron, that "one article" was Rita's most foul piece. Only Witch Weekly would post rumored rubbish like that."
Ron muttered something about it "only seeming foul to you because it was about you." But went quiet after he began gazing out the window. Eyes drooping from lack of sleep after the good-luck party for Harry the night before, (The task was today!) and vivid daydreams filled Ron's head, which were quickly brought to a halt when Hermione let out a sudden and very loud gasp.
"What? What is it?"
Her shaking hand turned the magazine around, slid it in front of Ron's face, pointing at a particular article whose byline read "Rita Skeeter". His eyes skimmed through the short yet stunning article.
HARRY'S "IN THE CLOSET" SECRET
The "Boy Who Lived" does more than just celebrate his Triwizard tournament challenges and victories writes gorgeous and talented Rita Skeeter. Loss of his long-time girlfriend, Hermione Granger, seems to have deprived him of more than love and affection, but lust as well. While others party and wish their young champion good-luck, Harry Potter sneaks off with a certain rich Slytherin pureblood.
Mr. Potter seems to be making a statement as to show he is done with the love of muggle-born girls. In fact, he seems to be done with girls completely. Every since their first meeting in first year, Draco Malfoy, son of Ministry official Lucius Malfoy, and Harry Potter have covered up their sexual frustration towards one another through a seemingly harsh rivalry. But after 4 long years of waiting, it seems as though the two can no longer resist one another.
In the midst of closet-time fun, both boys confess their feelings to one another, Malfoy even muttering "Ever since I first saw you…I wanted you so badly…" between kisses. After only a few minutes of squeals of excitement, a certain dark-haired boy makes a loud melodious moan as he reaches his climax.
For all the disappointed witches out there hoping to gain the heart of this "wonder boy", they can always just take joy in this Hogwarts pairing, and look forward to word of their next secret meeting behind closed (closet) doors.
The magazine dropped to the table with a "thump" as Ron's hands stood frozen in their book-holding position. The two Trio members stared at each other in horror, and only turned to look somewhere else as their other best friend came to join them.
"Morning." Harry said, sitting down on the long bench that filled the length of the Gryffindor table. Aware of his friends shocked looks, his expression became one of confusion. "What?"
"Harry…did you…you didn't…" Hermione started, but became silent as Ron's still shaking hand pushed the magazine toward their friend. Puzzled, Harry picked up the pamphlet and read through it, pausing at certain points and backtracking at others.
"Well, this is just complete rubbish!" Jumping up, Harry slammed his hand on the table and glared at the article, reading one of the final paragraphs. Ron and Hermione both sighed in relief at the same time and beamed at one another, glad it was just more of Rita's lies.
Still shaken, Hermione looked up at Harry's obviously furious face. "S-so…it's not true then?"
"Of course not!" He shouted, loud enough for the whole hall to hear. "That was Draco's orgasm, not mine!"
It's badly written, and there wasn't any actual smut in it because at the time I was on a shared computer, but I thought it was good enough to share.