This is the last chapter guys.
hope you enjoy, and I hope you guys enjoyed the story.
Thanks for reading and sticking with it. But now, it's finally over.
First Person Alice!
A few months later…
So, yeah… here we are, a few months after the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. I am now an official citizen of Konoha, though I don't live in the village. I'm also an official citizen of Ame and I don't live there either. I actually live in a large complex, previously owned by the great Uchiha clan.
I live there with my best friend, my lover, my puppy, my shark, my puppet, my terrorist, my plant, my Fearless Leaders, my miser, and my zealot. Eight of my house buddies are men, one is an adorable puppy, and two are women. If you haven't guessed yet, I'll let you in on who they are.
They are the Akatsuki, Kathryn, and Sable.
Minus Tobi of course…
Despite the shit he pulled, I'm still a little sad I won't have his buoyant persona running around causing chaos with Kathryn.
But, what's done is done. There is no changing the past.
My life may have been like one huge fanfiction that some desperately bored girl made just for the hell of it, but it certainly isn't a time-travel fiction.
Anyways, our wonderful home is the previously abandoned Uchiha Stronghold, now called Pein's office, the base, my love pad, Alice's Pants, House of Pein, Alice's Lair, The Love Shack the house of the criminally insane, Hidan's prison, Akatsuki HQ, Base o' Heathens, and many, many others.
My personal favorites are: Base o' Heathens, House of Pein, and the House of the Criminally Insane.
Hidan made up the first, Kisame came up with the second, and I made up the last.
They're kind of crowd favorites. Pein loves the House of Pein one.
All of them hate the name the Love Shack. However, each time said name is mentioned, Kathryn and I are required to sing the song until someone shuts us up. I think all of them appreciate Alice's Pants though. That was Kathryn's creation.
Currently, outside of my former criminals and murderers, the world is in a period of peace. The Shinobi Alliance has lasted after the war and the ties between each nation are very, very strong.
Everyone helped in the rebuilding effort after the war. Yes, even the lazy ass Akatsuki members. I may or may not have had to beat Hidan to make him work, but in the end, it got done and we were all happy.
Now that the Akatsuki isn't a threat meant to cause harm, they've become exactly what they were meant to be: Universal, hirable labor for each nation. But, because of Kakuzu, we're rather expensive depending on the job.
For that reason, no one really hires us except for if they need a smaller, cheaper job done or if they're willing to pay big bucks to satisfy our greedy treasurer/miser…
Pein has a big old important job of being allies with the Kage and doing boring business stuff with them that I want nothing to do with. I basically get to do whatever I want when I want because everybody thinks I'm like a fortune teller or something.
Kakuzu keeps trying to get me to let him sell my knowledge and "predictions" of the future. He's a greedy old man.
Itachi and Sasuke both now have the eternal Mangekyō Sharingan. With Tsunade, Sakura, and Konan's help, we were able to exchange their eyes. Sasuke was now the proud owner of Itachi's old eyes while Itachi possesses Sasuke's.
Said foolish little brother lives in Konoha with Taka and he is now a Jōnin along with Naruto. They are held as heroes of the world or whatever and Sasuke's back to being less emo and extremely cute and aloof.
I must say… he looks really attractive in that Jōnin vest.
I only drooled a little bit.
Apparently while they were fighting Tobi, Itachi withdrew Orochimaru from Sasuke and sealed the filthy snake with his Susano'o thing. He is now completely pedophile free and he has lost his revengeful dick persona, opting for happiness around his friends with his brother and extended/adopted family living close by.
Everyone in the T.A.S. is now regarded as a hero and all of the Akatsuki have been cleared of their charges. Sasuke was likewise cleared and he and Naruto are basically worshiped by everyone who isn't me and other people with a brain. But, since we're all important, law-abiding citizens, we are now honorary guests of each village and citizens of Ame and Konoha though we all live in the Love Shack.
Fuck that. We still steal shit and they still kill people when they need to go ninja.
Hidan has a huge pile of sacrifices stacked up in the basement for Zetsu to munch on.
Pein and Konan are always here at the Base o' Heathens since Pein now leaves one of his other bodies up in order for it to solely do work for the village. That way, he can baby sit us here and also do his work as the leader of a village.
Itachi and I got married which was a really strange experience. Then, of course, Deidara and Kathryn copied us because they're lame. The weddings were interesting and the receptions were even more fun. That's probably because there was alcohol and Hidan, Deidara, Kisame, and a few of the other nut jobs we invited partook in said alcohol and then ran around acting like complete morons.
Let's just say Sasori, Itachi, Kakuzu, and I stocked up on blackmail options.
Kathryn and Deidara's wedding was ten times worse. She invited basically all of Konoha, Killer Bee, and a shit load of other people from the other villages.
Needless to say, Bee put on a concert.
And then the drunks, namely Hidan, Deidara, and a number of other oddities were his backup singers…
I become afraid just thinking about it.
Though, I will admit that Hidan has an impressive singing voice.
… Deidara however…
In other news, I just finished popping a kid out and I'm currently on the brink of unconsciousness because I'm tired as shit. The page or so of rambling above is because I'm so fucking out of it so excuse my thought process. Having a baby isn't fun, and having a baby while also having to babysit six idiots at the time is even less fun. I'm surprised I didn't kill anyone for potentially pissing me off during my pregnancy of doom.
If you guys thought my mood swings were bad before I was pregnant, you should have seen how dangerous they were after a few months into carrying a kid in my womb. It was ridiculous. Ice Bitch Queen was used by everyone beside Itachi and Kisame and the Leaders. And I deserved it too. I was insane to the point where I'm surprised they survived.
Now though, I really just wanted to sleep off all of the excitement of having a kid and the pain in the ass process that went with carrying one and giving birth to one. However, according to all of the voices I hear around me, I'm not going to be able to sleep any time soon.
"Have you guys named him yet?" Konan asked.
Oh yeah, by the way, I have a gorgeous little boy now. He has dark hair and eyes from what I could tell.
The second I saw him, I saw a mini-Itachi and that just took what little air I had away. I already love his cute little person to death and want to snuggle him like I do Sable and his daddy. He is breathtakingly precious and he already owns my heart and soul along with his father, his aunts, his uncles, wolves, and Kisame.
I wasn't the only one who was happy about my baby. Kakuzu was utterly pleased that he won the bet and Kathryn would have been just as happy about winning money but she was too excited about my kid. Suigetsu wasn't happy, however. He even tried to hide after I found out the gender.
However, there is no hiding from Kakuzu when you owe him money.
Now that was amusing.
Of course, Hidan knew the gender of my baby before anyone else did because apparently, Jashin-sama told him.
I don't know either. He's a weirdo.
"No." Itachi's sexy voice told her, tearing me from my train of thought. "Naming things is her area of expertise so I intended on waiting for her to start suggesting names." He was quiet for a minute and his voice sounded fond and gentle so I assumed he was holding one of our kids. "As long as he is healthy, I don't care what his name is."
I smiled. "You're so cute."
"So she's awake." Pein commented.
"Barely." I countered, opening my eyes. "I figure I can stay up a bit longer for your sakes. That way, you can call my baby something other than 'it', 'the kid', 'him', 'the baby' or whatever other names you guys can come up with."
Kisame snickered from my other side. I was resting my head on his shoulder while Itachi's hand was curled around mine and our baby boy was in his arm. My shark kissed the top of my head. "Knowing Kathryn, it could be something ridiculous."
I smirked and looked at the rounded form of my best friend. She's a copier and got pregnant shortly after I did, just like she married Deidara after Itachi and I got hitched. She is due in about four months. She was smiling at me, leaning on Deidara while holding Sasori's hand.
"Did you come up with a name?" She asked. "Because if not, I'll name him."
"Like hell you are." Hidan and I said in unison. Said Jashinist was sitting in the corner, using Kakuzu as a footrest. Sable was lying on the floor beside him playing with a toy bone Zetsu stole her. The plant man of my heart was sticking out of the wall, watching the exchange boredly. Pein and Konan were by the window and Sasuke sat by the door. I had no idea where the rest of Taka was and I couldn't bring myself to care.
Sasuke's my brother now so he's really the only one that matters.
Not that I didn't love Jūgo and Suigetsu, of course.
I hummed in thought before looking at my boy. I couldn't help but smile as I stroked the cheek of my son and as I looked over his sleeping face, inspiration struck me. "I got it. I thought of the perfect name for him. The name had been in my head for a while, but I had to see him before I decided on a name."
"What did you have in mind?" Itachi asked, nuzzling my cheek with his nose.
I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Do you like the name Tiburon? I was thinking of naming him that. Seeing him now, the name is perfect for him."
He was adorable. Uchiha traits were obvious, even in his cute chunky face. I could tell instantly that he was going to look a lot like Itachi. His hair was black or incredibly dark brown. Itachi swore that our kid had my lack of tear troughs and he had different colored eyes, but considering I was incoherent at the time he told me, I'll have to take his word for it.
Itachi rested his head against mine and gazed at our child that he was holding adoringly. "I like it actually. It has a nice ring to it."
"Good." I stated, kissing his cheek and internally smirking my head off. "Because I promised Kisame we'd name our son after him a while ago. Remember?" I smiled at Kisame who cocked his head to the side curiously.
"What does Tiburon have to do with my name?" Kisame asked.
I grinned. "It means shark in Spanish."
Sasori and Kakuzu chuckled while Kathryn, Deidara, and Hidan laughed from their seats. Kisame sighed and introduced his palm to his forehead. Konan giggled and Pein smirked.
Itachi smiled and kissed my cheek gently before pressing his forehead to mine for a moment. "Tiburon it is."
"In my world, we have middle names." I told them. "So, I want to give him another one."
"What were you thinking about? Anything in particular?" Itachi asked, looking curious.
I looked at her. "Well, I named Tiburon so you get to pick his middle name. It's only fair."
He kissed my forehead as he stared at our son. "Whatever you'd like is fine with me. Naming things is not my specialty."
I bit my lip for a minute, thinking carefully. "How about Shisui?"
Itachi's expression softened before he kissed my lips fully. I felt his love, happiness, pride, and just a little bit of sadness in the gesture. Shisui was his best friend before he died and Itachi held him in the highest regard. Honestly, the more I thought about it, the less I considered any other name to be good enough for our son.
Obviously, he agreed. "I like it."
"Good." I smiled, kissing him back.
Sasuke smirked a bit. "Very fitting.
"I was tempted to say your name, but if I was ever scolding him, I would probably use his full name and that might confuse you." I explained, smirking back at him.
Deidara grinned at me. "You should have named him after me."
"Your hair is too yellow." I told him. I smiled at him when he chuckled before kissing Tiburon's head before doing the same to Itachi and Kisame. I smiled at Tiburon, stroking the thick black hair he already had. "Tiburon Shisui Uchiha. Welcome to this family of social outcasts."
"You might want to wish him luck too." Kakuzu grunted, lifting up Hidan's leg briefly so he could shift positions. Once he was finished, he allowed Hidan's leg to return to its proper place on his thigh. "He has to grow up with a base full of psychos. The second most extreme one is his mother."
I glared at him. "I love you too, Kakuzu."
"Who's the most extreme?" Sasuke asked.
Kakuzu threw a thumb in Hidan's direction. "This moron of course."
"Fuck you Kakuzu!"
And they say they don't love each other.
Wait a minute… He just said fuck in front of my son.
"Don't cuss in front of my kid damn it!" I snapped, glaring at Hidan.
Everyone else just sighed.
Four months later than a few months later…
Kathryn looked at Deidara and away from their daughter, kissing him with happiness etched into her face. I was too busy counting the money I won from guessing the right gender to awe at their cuteness. Being the amazing friend I am, I knew Kathryn would have a girl. Her personality and her persona in general screams it. Kathryn's always wanted a girl and I know that her child will be spoiled rotten and loved to death by both her parents, her Danna, and her Aunt: AKA me.
"Did you think up a name?" Kathryn wondered, resting her cheek against Deidara's shoulder.
Deidara shook his head, stroking the arm of the sleeping baby being held by the love of his life. "I'm not good at naming things, babe. Neither of us have that skill yeah."
That little bundle of joy was adorable. Honestly, if I didn't lay claim to the four most adorable things in the world already, I'd have claimed her as my own too. She already has a head covered in yellow blond hair and her eyes were just as sparkly blue as Deidara's. Already I could see evidence of Kathryn's gorgeous face in the baby's. There was no doubt that she had Deidara's eyes though.
Her hair, which was bright yellow, wasn't as vivid as Deidara's was. Obviously Kathryn's hair mellowed it out a bit. She was small and she wasn't exactly chunky like most babies, but she definitely wasn't deprived of baby fat. After all, Kathryn eats more than a horse does so that kid wasn't lacking nutrition.
By the way, if you're wondering who the four adorable things are, they're Itachi, Tiburon, Sable, and Kisame.
"Fortunately, I have thought of one." Sasori stated, sitting on the bed beside Kathryn.
"What?" Kathryn asked, looking at him.
"Sanaa." Sasori stated thoughtfully, looking at the little girl that would soon rule his life just like her parents did. I know he secretly loved it and looked forward to it. He stroked the baby's head before looking at Kathryn. "It means 'Work of art' or 'beauty'."
I smirked at the name. "We're just making all kinds of puns with baby names." I kissed Tiburon's forehead since he was being held by Kisame. Said Shark had just stole him from Sasuke who had taken him forcibly from Itachi. Itachi tended to hog him unless I was holding him. "If you would have had a boy, I was going to suggest Clay."
"I like it." Kathryn said, beaming. "Do you, Dei?"
Deidara nodded, his smile widening at the sight of Kathryn's. "Yeah. Good work, Danna un."
Kathryn kissed Sasori's cheek in thanks. "Thank you Danna."
Sasori patted Kathryn's head gently. "Don't mention it, brat."
"I just hope it isn't fucking like Sasori." Hidan growled, pointing at Tiburon. "We already have a brat with Alice's attitude. We don't need another one. He's only a few fucking months old and he's already a cheeky brat." He shook his head.
"I'm surprised you know what cheeky means." Kakuzu grunted, looking at his partner.
Hidan glared. "Fuck you, Kakuzu."
"If she makes explosions in the morning, I'll be pissed." I stated. "Hidan, don't cuss around my kid."
He flicked me off.
"I just pray the child doesn't develop Deidara's verbal tick." Itachi mused as he played with my hair.
Konan giggled. "That would be funny to see."
"No it wouldn't." Zetsu sighed.
"Sasori would be pissed." Kakuzu chuckled.
Sasori nodded. "Yeah, I would be."
"Oh whatever. You're going to love that kid and spoil her to the end of her days." I countered. "And you know it too, so don't deny it."
Sasori huffed and looked away from me. "Whatever. I will be her only source of intelligence and discipline."
"Hey(un)!" Kathryn and Deidara protested.
Those of us who weren't too cool for emotions laughed.
These kids were in for a screwed up life. Being raised with a bunch of former criminals, a hyperactive blond, and a bipolar bitch was going to be difficult and it probably would affect their mental stability.
However, I wouldn't have it any other way.
This is the Akatsuki after all.
This is home.
Finally, it's over.
I can't begin to explain to you guys how much I appreciate all of you who read this and reviewed as well as those of you who made fanart. This story has introduced me to amazing people and it has given me the chance to read some of the extremely impressive stories of some of my readers and reviewers. I thank you guys so much and I love you in a purely platonic way.
Fun Fact: In total, this story is about 354,832 words. That includes authors notes.
Answer: In intend on writing more stories in the future. Whether they involve Alice and Kathryn, I'm not sure. But I am 100% certain that I will continue to read and write. You guys will see more things from me in the future. I may write a third part to this story, but that all depends. So, keep an eye out. I'm open to persuasion, so feel free to threaten me and tell me that I should write one if you want it.
QotC: What was your favorite part of this story and/or Consider Yourself Kitties.
Just so you guys know, I've had the names picked out for Kathryn's kid and Alice's kid since I decided she was going to get preggo. And, a fun fact for you, Alice and Kathryn both have another kid. Alice has a daughter who is a year younger than Tiburon. Her name is Aiko. Kathryn has a son who is a bit older than Aiko and his name is Clay. :)
I was moving, which is why this is so late. I ended up almost slicing my hand off when I was moving my bed. It looks pretty badass, but it hurts pretty bad.
Well guys, this is it.
If you have any questions, feel free to message me or review or email me and I'll respond if I can. I can't really reply if you don't sign in or have an account or something.
Have a nice life.