My take on what could have happened after the screen went black.
Spoiler for 6x13
Just A Glimpse
No no no, that's not happening... it can't be! Sam was fine just a minute ago! Well, not really fine considering the current events, but as fine as he could have hoped. He was standing, talking, beating himself up about Robo-Sams actions even if he didn't have any control over it. And whatever Dean said, he couldn't make things right, couldn't convince his brother that it wasn't his fault. It hurt him deeply to see Sam like this, beaten and self-loathing, but he had to admit that a small part of him was also grateful for it. Coz it showed him that he finally and truly got his baby brother back.
But Sammy was lying on the floor now, twitching and thrashing around, mouth opened in a silent scream, eyes wide and unfocused, seeing something only he could see. It almost looked like the times Sam had his visions - except for the seizure of course. Dean had told Sam just a minute ago that everything was gonna be okay and he meant it. Coz there was nothing he wouldn't do to keep his brother safe, from being hunted by his own guilt and succumbing to it.
But right now nothing seemed to be okay, he was freaking out, felt totally helpless, didn't know what to do except pray for it to stop. The disbelief and horror was written on his face.
Please not yet, it's been barely two weeks since he got his brother back. The wall had been fine, Sam had been fine. Why did he have to scratch? Stupid little brothers, never doing what they're told. Wasn't it the big brothers who always know best? But a 'told you so' wouldn't help him now, wouldn't help Sam.
He sat down behind Sam, supporting his head to keep it from bouncing on the hard floor. His brother didn't need a concussion as a souvenir when he wakes up. Dean couldn't stop himself from thinking 'if he wakes up', Cas' words crossing his mind: paralyses, insanity, psychic pain, locked inside himself for the rest of his life... Who was he kidding, he always knew the risk. But what was he supposed to do? Let his little brother burn in hell while his body ran amok above ground? No, it was the right thing to do. They would deal with it – together - like they always do.
It felt like a life time till Sam finally stilled, his muscles relaxing, arms and legs lying limply on the dirty ground. But his face still showed the horrors he must have went through. Though not distorted to a silent scream anymore and eyes closed, his features were creased, sweat dripping from his forehead.
„Sammy?" Dean tried again, hoping to finally reach his brother. But there wasn't any response. „Come on dude, nap time is over!" He carefully nudged his brother, but without any luck.
Dean let out a sigh and leaned back against the bed behind him, grapping the worn blanket from it to cover his brother. He pulled Sam up, propping him against his shoulder and put his arms protectively around him. Head resting on Sams, he waited. His eyes burned, anguish and despair growing and spreading through his whole body. Sammy didn't deserve this. He's been through so much in his young life, demons and angels both screwing with him. He has suffered enough, even went to hell to save the whole planet. If anybody deserved a break, it was him.
„I'm here Sammy, I'm here. You're gonna be okay, I'll make sure of it. Just wake up, please!", mumbled Dean. He got lost in his own thoughts, in this own personal hell while rocking his little brother and humming 'Hey Jude' absentmindedly.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
It was dark. Quiet. He felt disconnected from his own body. He didn't know where he was or what had happened. Couldn't remember anything. He was confused. Afraid.
A sound caught his ear, distant and faint and he tried to concentrate on it. It seemed familiar, was soothing in all the darkness surrounding him. He listened for a while, glad to have something to hold on to. It was a voice, singing. He couldn't catch any words, but the tune was comforting. It reminded him of something, he knew it must be important. But his head was pounding and made it difficult to think. Wait, his head... he could feel it. And not only his head. Feeling was slowly returning to him. He noticed the hard surface he was sitting on, the warmth behind his back, arms embracing him, holding and rocking him in slow motion.
But with it also came the uncomfortable feeling of strained and sore muscles, like he'd just ran a marathon. And there was more. The warmth which had been pleasant in the beginning started to heat up with each second till he could almost feel his skin burning.
Burning... fire... white hot... blazing... scorching his skin... eating him alive...
He remembered. It was everywhere, but he couldn't escape. Nobody heard his tortured screams, he was all alone...
But not this time. Soft hands touched his cheeks, a voice broke through the roaring and spitting fire.
„... Sam, you're safe. I've got you, I won't let you get hurt. Come on Sammy, talk to me..."
Dean. It was Dean. But he couldn't be here, wherever here was. He was all alone, he'd always been. But the touch was so real, the voice so clear.
„D'n... help... fire", was all he could manage to get out, the pain making him fuzzy. He heard his brother gasp, cursing.
„There is no fire. Sammy, open your eyes. No flames, it's just a memory. You're safe."
Safe. Yeah, Dean was with him. Dean always kept him safe. The pain slowly subsided, leaving him breathless and shaken. He was afraid of what he might see if he opend his eyes. Probably black and scorched skin, bone shining white beneath it. But all he saw was the unblemished skin of his arms, his jeans and shirt intact. But most importantly: no flames.
„Sammy, are you with me? Sam?"
He turned his head around, looking into the green and bloodshot eyes of his big brother who was still holding him against his chest.
„Dean... what...? You look like crap!"
Dean had to laugh. „Thanks for stating the obvious. You should have a look into the mirror yourself." His big brother relaxed and pulled him even closer to himself. „You scared the crap out of me here, kiddo!"
Sam thankfully leaned into his brother, feeling totally exhausted but safe and secure at the same time. He looked around, recognized the shabby room they'd stayed in during the last few days. He cringed at the memory of their latest hunt, of what he'd found out about himself, the horrible things he'd done here. He shivered. Dean pulled up the blanket which lay at their feet. Must have fallen off during... wait, during what?
„Dean? What happened?"
Dean frowned. „Don't you remember?"
Sam tried to collect his thoughts. Oh yeah, he remembered... the darkness, the fire, the unimaginable pain... He shuddered.
„I... I scratched the wall, didn't I?"
Dean sighed. „Yeah, you did." There was a pause.
„What? No 'I told you so'?" It was Dean after all who had warned and begged him to stop digging deeper.
„No. You know I'd love to, but I'm just glad you're back with me."
That wasn't like Dean and just scared him even more. „That bad?" Deans silence was answer enough. They stayed on the ground for another minute till Dean complained that he got pins and needles in his butt. He helped him up and onto the bed, kneeling down in front of him.
„So how are you feeling? And don't say 'I'm fine' coz you're obviously not."
Sam cracked a smile, then thought about it. „Well, the back of my head hurts." Dean ran a hand through his hair, checking his head till he found the large bump at the back. Sam hissed. „Don't touch it!"
„Don't be a baby!" Dean frowned. „Must be from your dive to the floor."
Sam nodded. „And my whole body feels weary and sore."
Dean didn't seem surprised, almost like he'd expected that. Sam looked at him questioningly.
„Well, you didn't just black out on me. You... you had a seizure Sammy, a big one. Almost gave me a heart attack."
„Oh..." That came as a surprise to him. He didn't remember that. Dean sat down beside Sam, their shoulders touching.
„So, anything else?"
Sam knew what his brother was up to. And that he wouldn't lay it off. He sighed. „Don't worry! The wall didn't break, I still can't remember hell." Dean looked at him sceptically. „Well, not all of it at least. I think I just got a glimpse..."
Sam stopped, shuddered at he memory of being burned alive, helpless, screaming. He closed his eyes. It had felt so real, had been real once. A warm hand closed around his, squeezing, supportive. So he kept going.
„I... there was fire, everywhere. I couldn't move, couldn't escape, couldn't just black out. I was awake, could feel the flames burning my flesh... the smell... I... God!" He shook his head, felt the moisture in his eyes, tried to blink it away, unsuccesfully. Dean touched his cheek, brushed away a tear that had escaped.
„It's gonna be okay Sammy. It's just a memory. Nothing more. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you get hurt again."
And that was all Sam needed to hear right now. He clung to his brother, giving in to his tears while Dean hold him tight, stroking his back and muttering soothing words of comfort.
Just had to get this out of my system. :) Thanks for reading.