An End and a Second beginning
AN post Daredevil in the Mold, I decided I needed to join the party who wrote post episode fic for this episode, however I will not join the hating Booth group or the anger against the agent group. I had expected this proposal, I was sure it would come and it actually very much happened in a way I had expected, therefor I can't be angry that it happened. However I am angry with Hannah as she have lied to Brennan in the 3
However I am angry with Hannah as she have lied to Brennan in the 3rd episode of this season.
Also I don't feel angry that Booth decided to try and propose, even though she had said she did not want marriage, lots of people change their mind; after all Brennan had told him for years she did not want kids but changed her mind on that. Hannah knew he was the marrying kind and she came, and lived with him and accepted to be more and more included in his life. She stayed with him, even after learning a bit about a previous history between him and his partner, all of these thing would make most people think that the relationship was stable and going somewhere, and for Booth that somewhere have always been marriage.
Therefore he decided to propose to her, however she have in her own way been leading him on and have not been as fully invested in the relationship as he has.
English is not my first language so I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made.
Disclaimer I don't own Bones if I did Hannah would never had happened in the first place.
After Brennan had ordered the second drink she looked at Booth again, she was hurting for him.
She was not even angry at him, for what he had just said to her, even though the words hurt. She knew it was words spoken in alcohol, anger, sadness and fear. A sadness of rejection and a fear of being alone for the rest of his life, a fear she herself had realized, she shared not so long ago.
When he gave her the options of what to do, a part of her had wished he would give her another option, however she also knew because of knowledge she had gathered over the years of knowing him, that partners was all he could handle right now. Just like it had been all she could handle, when she discovered her mother's remains, or when her family had once again driven of leaving her behind, the time he had told her there was more than one kind of family, trying to convince her she would never be completely alone. Perhaps an even better example was, when she years ago, had gone on a date with a guy and she during her dinner learned he killed his own brother, and Booth had shown up in her office, and told her how their perception were always colored by, what they liked and loved, and how they always did the best they could when it came to relationships In the end he had told her in his own way, that it would be alright and he had told her, he was her partner and therefor it was okay to take the comfort he was offering her. The only reason she had been able to take that comfort, was because he told her it was offered as a partner.
Brennan knew she would at some point have to try and offer him the same comfort, try to convince him, he had done the best he could, and that there was nothing wrong with him; she was just not sure how to go about it.
For years all she had been able to handle was just partners; however that attraction between them and the memories of that kiss in the rain so long ago, had in its own way always been something they had find a way to move around.
When he offered her the partners deal now, she knew she would have to let her own romantic feelings for him go, for the time being, until he was ready to recognize that there was nothing wrong with him, and that it was not everybody who left him in the end. That was the true reason behind her staying, and agreeing to the partners deal, she knew she could not leave him and be one of those who were about to make him sure that everybody left and no one wanted him. She could not make him even more sure of something, she herself had been sure of for years, that was until she met him, he never left her. When he came back from Afghanistan with Hannah, she had felt he had left her, that was until she realized her own romantic feelings for him, for along with that she also realized she left him first. Therefore he had only followed her lead, so he had not really left her. He was still there in his own way, like he had told her a couple of weeks ago after the case with the sister wives.
Now she needed to convince him the same, that she was not going anywhere, that she was not bailing on him ever again.
Brennan was angry with Hannah, and had been angry with her since she got the phone call, and she knew that anger was more than likely to spill over, when they met for lunch the next day which she had promised Hannah they would do. After all Hannah had wanted her to call her later to night an tell her how Booth was holding up, Brennan had said that would she could not do but instead agreed to meet for lunch.
Brennan was angry with Hannah, because she had asked Hannah when she moved in with Booth to be sure that she was just as invested in the relationship as he was, because he would give himself completely and that was what he had done, however Hannah had obvious not been as invested as he had, and that made her angry with the other woman, after all she had stepped aside as the most important female role in Booth's life, and even tried to befriend Hannah, even after she knew and realized she was in love with Booth, she had kept on being friends with Booth as well as Hannah, because she honestly thought Hannah was a better choice for Booth, and that Hannah would be able to give him what he wanted. Therefore she was angry, even though Hannah had told her over the phone, that she was not the marrying kind, and that she had already told Booth that many times.
Brennan knew that Booth would have thought, that Hannah would change her mind over time, after all the marriage part had been one of her own reasons for not starting a relationship with him.
She had thought she could not change, however she had over the months there they were apart on their sabbatical, realized that she could change, that she had changed over the years, and that night when she finally got the signal, she realized that there was nothing she would rather do, than change because and for Booth.
She also knew now, when she looked at him, that if she had been the one in a relationship with him, would never had had it in her to say no, to this kind and loving man, the best man she had ever known, after all there really was nothing she would not do for him. To say no to him, to hurt him that way, no she would never have it in her, even though she like Hannah was not the marrying kind. Or more along the line that she did not see the meaning of it, but she knew it held a huge meaning to Booth, and she would be willing to give him that, if it made him sure that she would never leave him, as well as it fall under the fact about that she would do anything for him. Plus she would never again want to hurt him intentional (like turning down something like marriage) or unintentional like turning him down and when run off to a dig far away from him, and not contact him for seven months.
All of those things had been unintentional just things, she had not thought would hurt him, but that she now realized had been a part on the road, to lead her best friend to be as broken and sad as he was right now.
No if she, Temperance Brennan, ever got a second chance at a relationship with him, she would take it and she would never led go again even if that meant marriage.
She smiled to herself, she had once told her second cousin that marriage, was something she thought you needed a reason to enter, and she had never found that. Well now she had found it, but only if it was marriage to Booth, it would make him happy, and she had learned that loving someone meant that you sometime did things you did not really want, because it made them happy.
That was actually also what she was doing at the moment, she was drinking with him and showing him she was not bailing on him, in hope that it would make him just a bit happier.
For the rest of the night they drank or actually he continued to drink, while she stopped drinking but just stayed at his side. At some point he told her, he would like to have some small talk, so she decided to tell him that her next book was coming out next month, and she told him a bit about the publicity events she would have to go to during the release period.
Booth wanted to know more about the book, as he had not even known she had written another one and asked, when he could read it and for a small moment he actually seemed happy, and that gave her an idea on what might cheer him up, after all she never let him read the books before they came out, but perhaps it was time to make an exception, after all it would give him something to focus on, other than his failed relationship and turned down proposal.
However she decided that she would give him the not yet published book as a surprise tomorrow, after all her editor had already sent her one, even though it was not released yet.
So to make it a real surprise, she told him like she had always told him, he could read it when it came out like everyone else, he tried to argue with her as many times before, and try to make her come around and let him read her book earlier on.
After that talk they made other small talk while Booth continued to drink.
When the bar closed and she helped him out from the bar and got them in a cap, and gave the cap driver Booth's address, he told her he did not want to go home and actually begged her not to make him go home, so she told the driver her own address instead.
When they got there she led Booth in to her guestroom, and made him lie down on the bed, while she went and tried to find some spare clothes for him, however when she came back with a set of his old FBI sweats, he was already deep asleep on the bed.
She decided to let him sleep and place the clothes on a chair in the room, after that she took of his shoes and after some work she also got his jacked off. She thought about taking his pants off but decided against it. She placed a blanket over him, turned off the light and left for her own room, and went to bed.
When she woke up the next morning, was Booth still asleep, and she decided that he needed the sleep, so she ate breakfast and showered and got ready for her day.
Original she had planned on going to the lab even though it was Saturday, but she had a lunch with Hannah at half past twelve, and had woken up a bit later than normally so she would not go into the lab before lunch.
When she had dressed and gotten ready, she made breakfast for Booth, and wrote him a note about that she had gone to a lunch meeting and planned on going the lab afterwards, but she had left breakfast for him in the kitchen, as well as a gift in hope it would cheer him up and give him something to do today.
Brennan left it with a glass of water, and two tablets for headache at the night table beside the bed, in her guestroom.
Before she left she also found her new book and wrote a note inside it for him, and tied a red silk bow around it. She left the book on the table beside the plate for his breakfast along with another note.
After she had done all of those things, she left for lunch at the diner with Hannah.
When Booth woke up he had gigantic headache, it was a lot worse than the one the day before, the one he had gotten from his drinking with Sweets.
He also felt nauseous and had no idea where he actually was, or what had happened the night before. When he looked around in the room, he recognized it as Brennan's guestroom, and with that he started to remember what had happened the night before; how Hannah had turned him down, how he had ended it with her, how he had gone drinking. He also remembered Brennan turning up, and him giving her an ultimatum; either be his partner and have a drink or leave. He could not handle her leaving again later on, like she did before, also partners was all he could be right now. She had stayed and from the looks of it, she had stayed the whole night. He looked to his side and saw the glass of water as well as the headache tablets. Slowly he rose from the bed and took the glass and the tablets, which he swallowed with the water. He saw the note under the glass and took it, and read what she had written. The small note actually made him feel a bit better, and not so alone, especially when he looked over and saw the clothes she had left for him at the chair in the corner, just like she had written in the note she had. Now he just needed to get dressed and go into the kitchen and eat the breakfast she had made for him and see what gift she had left for him, if he knew her at all it would probably be some after-case paperwork, after all she had written it would give him something to do today. If he was completely honest, with himself, paperwork would be better than thinking about his broken heart and failed relationships, as well as thinking about what was wrong with him since the women he fell for, never really wanted him for long term.
Booth shook his head to get rid of those thoughts. He rose from the bed and got dressed. The clothes Brennan had left him, were an old pair of his sweats and a T-shirt; he had probably left it all at her place before, they left for their year apart, probably even before he had asked her to take a chance on them.
He changed the pants and started to change the shirt, but when he pulled the T-shirt over his head, he realized it was softer than he remembered and it smelled of female and some kind of fruit, mango or passion fruit perhaps, it was not really important, what was important was that this smell was the smell of his partners shampoo and the female smell was the smell of his partner.
Booth were shocked because the only way that the shirt could end up smelling of Brennan, was if she had used the shirt and the smell was strong so it could not have been a long time, since she had been wearing it.
For some reason that actually made him feel a lot better, to know that his partner had liked wearing his shirt, and it also gave him a small sense of not being so alone right in this moment, being surrounded by the smell of something which was completely his Bones.
Booth felt a somewhat better, than he had when he first woke up and remembered the horrors of yesterday, when he finally walked out from the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen and saw a portion of pancakes waiting for him. She had placed them next to the microwave so he could just heat them up again. On the table he saw, she had placed some fruit beside the plate (of course she would try to make him eat some fruit as well as the unhealthy pancakes) as well as the marble syrup, he saw there was something else lying next to the plat as well, but could not really see what it was from there he was standing.
Booth placed the pancakes in the microwave and heated them up, when they were done he brought them over to the table to eat. He sat down and finally saw what was lying next to his plate with a red bow on. That was the biggest surprise yet this morning, because right there was the newest yet to be published novel by Dr. Temperance Brennan.
She had never allowed him to read her books, before they were released, even though he always asked, she never gave in. She had also never given him one of her books , he had them all, but he had always gone and brought them himself, however here was one which would not be out for another month as a gift, from her to cheer him up.
Booth had forgotten all about the pancakes the moment, he saw the book. He picked it up and pulled the bow of it and opened the book on the first page, the page where she normally made a dedication. There was one this time as well, and the dedication was a better pill for all of his anger and sorrow that he had ever thought possible, or perhaps it was the dedication along with the personal note she had written under the dedication.
The dedication said:
"Dedicated to my partner and the best friend I have ever had Seeley Josph Booth. You have made me a better person, every day since you came into my life"
Dear Booth. This is the first time I have ever given you, my book and I finally allow you to read it before it comes out.
As I said in my dedication you are my partner and best friend and you will always be those things.
These words felt like a band-aid on his bleeding heart. He saw there was another note place under the book, which he picked up and started to read.
My publisher send me this one a few days ago, I had not really planed on given it to anybody, but after yesterday I thought it might make you feel better, as well as give you something else to focus on. You have always wanted to read one of my books before they come out, but I thought if there ever was a time for it now would be it.
You are the first one of my friends to read it. Angela have not helped my with this one, so you really are the first one whose opinion I really care about to read it, that actually makes my really nervous, which is really irrational, since my agent and publisher have both said it is my best one yet, I really do hope you enjoy it.
You have always wanted to read one of my books before they come out, but I thought if there ever was a time for it now would be it.
All of it was written while I was away on Maluku island, and it was send in not so long after I came home, however there were some typos and stuff like that which needed correcting before it could be released.
I know you said yesterday you needed us to be just partners, and I understand that but that does not change the fact that you really are my best friend and you need to know that I'm not leaving you again, I need you in my life.
Partners don't talk about everything, but you also need to know that I'm there for you if you ever need to talk, I won't always know what to say, but I can listen to you, but I accept that being partners is all you can handle right now.
I know that, because I now realized that you telling me something was acceptable, because we were partners was you way of comforting me, in a way I was able to accept, so now I will try to give you the same.
I know it is irrational, and you really can't know this, but Booth everything will be alright.
If you don't wish to go home right now, you are welcome to stay, but I understand if you don't, however I will be at the Jeffersonian for most of the day, so I won't bother you.
I will not call you, but if you want to talk please don't hesitate to call me.
Otherwise I will see you when we have the next case. I hope you enjoy the book in the main time.
Booth felt relief wash over him, she understood why he needed a time there they were just partners, but she also told him, he would always mean more to her than a partner, in her own way had she told him, if he ever was ready to talk she would be there.
He was also pretty sure what she really had wanted to write was, if he was ever ready for more, she would be there, after all she had sign the note "Love Bones".
Booth was sure, when he looked at the book and the notes, that there would be a day, there they would be able to take the step, which led to a relationship between them, but right now he needed time to heal. Healing meant eating the pancakes, and when start reading Brennan's book.
Later on or perhaps tomorrow, he would call her and thank her for the book, they would probably get a new case soon, which they would solve and when go out for drinks afterwards. And slowly he would try to start being best friends with her again, and someday he would probably fully allow her his heart again. You could look at, his end with Hannah, as a second beginning for him and Bones, but right now he needed to just be her partner and she had told him that was alright and that she would never leave him again.
I hope you liked this little story, please review and let me know because I am kind of worried how this story ended up turning out.
I know and I am sorry that I have not updated Hannah's talk but I find it really hard to write that story lately, I know people liked it but for some reason the next chapter have given me writers block on that story.