Complicated

Chapter 4

AN: Thanks to those of you who are reading! And a special thanks to Senbonzakura11, WammyBoysFTW, ice devil cat demon, Ichiisama, Kumani Arentoi, GrassBlade-chan, PaintedinAllColors, and Vampwolf22 for reviewing! I really appreciate it minna-san!

Quick AN: Reply to ice devil cat demon: You'll be dead until I update…? OH NO I KILLED SOMEONE D: I hope this chapter will bring you back! Cuz killing someone is a big no-no. XD

Serious AN: I'm sorry for not updating for a while. Since summer is in barely a week, I'll have SO much more free time and I'll write more. It's hard to remember a story if it isn't updated in a long time, so I'll try hard everyone!

Warning: This chapter may suck; it's more of something I wrote for my own pleasure, but hope you like it. Oh…and…uh…implied-ish lemon…or…almost-rape…Reader's discretion is advised…*cough*

~M~

A scream pierced the silent night as blood flew into the air, staining the white sand. My eyes widened as I looked down to see a heavy blade sticking out of my chest. I could barely turn around to look at my attacker before they twisted the blade and pulled it out, causing horrible pain. I fell to the ground as a cero just barely missed my head. I could barely breathe…I can't see…I…

"Mai," I cringed as Ulquiorra not so gently picked me up and sonido'ed to the cave we were hiding out in. He had barely set me down when another one of the Vasto Lorde appeared at the entrance of the cave and shot an arrow, missing Ulquiorra, but hitting my leg. It snapped a bone, the sound echoing in the cave as I winced. I wasn't going to give them the pleasure of hearing me scream in pain.

The Vasto Lorde pulled me up roughly by my arm, causing me to wince since he was crushing my hollow remains. "If you leave now, we won't kill you."

I barely had time to think before his hands wrapped around my throat, immediately suffocating me. "D-damn, you." I gathered up the little strength I had and kicked him where it hurts with my good leg. Even though you could barely call it good, my ankle was sprained and there were various bruises and blood stains everywhere.

I cried out as I hit the ground. Ulquiorra immediately attacked him, but not before another one appeared and kicked me onto my stomach. She peered down at me and smirked.

"Aww, is the wittle birdy hurt? That's too bad…why don't I put you out of your misery?" She stepped onto my back and pulled out a knife. "But I wanna have some fun first. Hmm~ maybe I'll let you live…but remember~" She kneed me as hard as she could, causing me to scream as another bone somewhere in my body snapped. She laughed as she kneeled down beside me and broke off the armor that was covering my back. She pouted when I rolled over, cero-ing her in the process.

"Like…hell…" I said through my shallow breathing as I tried to push myself up. Before I could, though, an arrow went through my arm, breaking yet another bone.

"Like hell yourself," she said as she got up, barely scratched. "If you insist on being so stubborn…" She pulled me up and slammed me against the wall. "I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson." She brought out the knife again and slammed me against the floor. Getting over me, she bent down and stared me straight in the eyes, distracting me as she grabbed my wrist and held them firmly down. Taking the knife in her other hand, she slowly wrote something, I assume, onto my stomach. I screamed as she dug it in deeper, blood oozing out and staining the cold rock.

"Char~lotte~ was…here~!" she giggled as she swirled the blade here and there in a painfully loopy handwriting. Her name was really familiar…so was her voice…but I could barely think, so I didn't bother to remember who it was.

I coughed up a bit of blood and turned my head so I wouldn't drown in it. My vision was getting blurry, and I could hear Ulquiorra fighting outside the cave. 'This is my end.' There was no one to save me. I was going to die. I shut my eyes as I waited for the pain to stop. Consciousness was slowly fading away; I was just about to shut down when Charlotte spoke up.

"Oh? What's this?" I was in so much pain that I didn't even realize she had flipped me over onto my stomach. She had ripped away more of my armor, probably to write some more. "A blue rose? Oh…Valentine's Day was a while back…wasn't it?" She sighed as she got off of me. "Well, I guess since you have a loved one, I shouldn't make him suffer…I'm sure it would kill him if I killed you…"

I froze. 'Shit, I thought I left that at home! But at least it stopped my torture…' I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed quietly. '…If it wasn't for Grimmjow…I would be dead right now…' Not being able to move, I laid there, just staring at Charlotte as she smiled. "What a shame…such a beautiful rose…too bad I'll be using it to torture you." I opened my eyes and looked up at her.

"Wh-what?" I coughed as she walked back towards me. She picked up the knife once again. Charlotte said nothing, but her devilish grin was creepy enough. She held my wrist down before rolling me over, it wasn't like I could fight back that much anyways, and started swirling the knife here and there, bringing on more pain.

I screamed as she would dig it in, and sometimes even hitting a bone, bringing on another world of pain. Charlotte would take a painful break every once in a while and pull my head up by my hair. She would laugh at me every time I glared at her. No matter how painful it was, I was never, never going to beg her to stop. I had too much pride to cry and beg.

She laughed again as she shoved my head against the ground before picking up the knife again to continue doing whatever painful thing on my back. I bit my lip to hold back a scream, but a whimper would escape every now and then. Tears were running down my cheeks, even though I was trying to keep them in.

I hated being tortured. Not because of the pain, even though that's obviously one reason, but because of the humiliation. I hated feeling weak and pathetic. I hated being useless. 'If there's any god out there…please end my pain…' I thought to myself as I shut my eyes, trying to block out the pain.

After what seemed like eternity, she set the knife down and pulled me into a half sitting position. Charlotte's smile was just mocking me. I was barely conscious as she picked up the rose, which had thorns, and tightly wrapped it around my neck. The thorns were digging into my neck as she laid me down. She stared down at me with a devilish smile before barely whispering…

"Good night, Mai-imouto-chan."

That was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

~M~

When I finally came to, I had to barely open my eyes to notice something was off. Ignoring the pain and dizziness, I turned my head to see that I was slung over someone's shoulder. Another thing I noticed was that most of my armor was gone. It was so destroyed that only my undershirt was still clinging to me. Even that was barely there though. Someone had draped another shirt on over me.

"Ugh…" I moaned softly when the person nearly tripped over a rock. "Watch it," I said, even though it hurt my chest a ton.

"You're awake," said the person.

'Nnoitra…' I shut my eyes. Of all the people that had to be here, it just HAD to be him.

"Bout time, too," he laughed to himself as he picked up the pace.

I glared at his back. "What's so funny?"

"The moment Grim found out that his bitch ain't okay, he breaks down cryin'!" laughed Nnoitra as he shoved open one of the doors in Las Noches. "Aizen sent me to get ya since he thought you'd be dead by now. Surprise, surprise, ya ain't." He laughed again. "Ya better be grateful. I've been walkin' for a while. Sonido don't really help out there."

Aizen was trying to get me killed. This whole time, he was trying to kill me and I bet he sent Ulquiorra to come with me to make sure it happened. He probably told Ulquiorra to not come back until I was dead. 'Some father he is…' I shut my eyes and tried to stop thinking, but instead, Grimmjow suddenly filled my mind.

'Wait…Nnoitra said he cried…right, and I got out of this mess in the best condition.' I sighed as I shook my head to myself, but stopped when more dizziness was brought on.

~G~

Over the next half hour, the new Decima Espada, Rofly, explained everything to me. I don't know why he was the one explaining it, but I didn't really bother to ask. He said that Ulquiorra was supposed to send some kind of reiatsu flare to update Aizen every now and then. He said that Aizen had sent Nnoitra to get her an hour after Ulquiorra sent a reiatsu flare.

"…One question…" The blonde looked up at me. "…How do you know this?"

"Oh…err…" He grinned again while scratching the back of his head. "I happened ta be walkin' by when Aizen-san got the message…"

~M~

"Ngh…" The nurse gently wiped a tear away after Nnoitra had not so gently put (tossed) me onto the bed in the Sexta's room in the hospital wing.

"Don't cry, you're going to be fine," she said with a gentle smile. "Now, I'm going to clean you up a bit. Some of it might sting a bit, but after a moment, you'll feel better, okay?"

I felt really drowsy, so I just nodded slightly. 'I've been stabbed and shot at about 30 times during this mission, do you really think I'll sting that much?' The nurse gently pulled off what little armor that was left around my leg before tugging at the chain of my zanpaktou that was wrapped around it.

"Mai-san, may I take your zanpaktou?" she asked as she quickly, but carefully unwrapped the chain. I barely nodded again before she took it and propped it up against the wall. She went on to wiping off the blood and tending to who knows how many injuries that was below the waist.

After she was done with my lower body, she gasped when she unbuttoned the shirt I had on. My undershirt was soaked with blood, and it was dripping into a little pool on the bed. Since, apparently, the doctor had shot me with something while I was unconscious to numb the pain; I hadn't really felt too much of it. So I hadn't really noticed the new pain in my chest.

I drowsily tilted my head slightly to get a better look. I saw a small dagger sticking out of me. "I…" I couldn't finish my sentence, because the nurse just took a deep breath, and told me to be quiet.

"The medicine you were given must've worn out by now… This will hurt, Mai-san," said the nurse as she gently, then not so gently held my wrists down. "Please try not to struggle too much." With that said, she used her other hand to quickly pull the dagger out.

I screamed as blood gushed out. Once she let go of my wrists, I grabbed my chest, having trouble with breathing. Tears were pouring down my cheeks, even though I really did try not to cry.

The nurse looked at me sadly before gently prying off the rose that was wrapped around my neck. The thorns stung like hell as they were pulled out of my skin.

'D-dammit…' I couldn't help but whimper pathetically.

~G~

Mai's fraccion were sleeping in my room. Again. Once everything was explained by Rofly, explained more on her condition by a nurse, and once all the crying (most of it) was over, they all piled into my room with sleeping bags. I didn't argue for once, but only because I felt sorry for them.

Kiatcero was curled up on the floor, his hand clutching his blanket tightly. He looked miserable, even in his sleep. Leola had taken over the couch. She had cried herself to sleep, hiccupping every once in a while whenever she woke up in the middle of the night. It seemed like her eyes have been puffy since Mai left. Hana, she couldn't sleep. I couldn't either, so she would just sit there and stare into space.

Since I couldn't sleep, I just laid there, staring at the ceiling. Hana had drifted off around midnight, but she kept waking up, a bit teary eyed, but tried to hide it.

"Gr-Grimmjow…? You awake?" she whispered as she crawled over to the bed. She kneeled on the floor beside the bed and poked my cheek.

"What do you want?"

"…nothing…" She sighed before dragging her sleeping bag over next to the bed and crawling into it again. "It's just…I miss Mai-chan…"

I sighed. They've been saying that since she left. It was getting annoying, but I didn't stop them from asking. I knew they missed Mai. I knew they were worried. I knew they wanted to know it she was okay. I know that they can't sleep because they're worried. I know they can't eat, sleep, or work properly without her. I know that part of them just died when they found out Mai wasn't okay. I know they just wanted to quit when they hadn't heard from her. I know how stressful this is.

"…I know," I told Hana. 'Of course I know…you've been saying it non-stop for a while.' I sighed again before turning around. 'If I knew she was going to get hurt, I would've never let her go.'

"Grimmjow…" Hana sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. "…do you miss Mai-chan, too?"

"Stop asking me that," was my automatic response. They also always asked me if I missed her. I would usually shrug, or give a casual response that didn't have meaning.

"Really, do you miss her?" asked Hana again. She messed with the purple ribbon that she had.

Mai gave all her fraccion ribbons as a sign that they were her friends. Hana was given a purple one. Kiatcero was given a green one, but I never see him with it. Leola was given a black one that she uses as a sash.

I glanced at Hana before turning my back to her. "Shut up and go to sleep." After a moment, I heard the blonde settle in again.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes. 'Of course I miss her, you idiot. I miss her more then you can understand.'

~G~

The next morning, I was having breakfast with Nnoitra. He was being a friend, for once, and didn't say anything…for five minutes.

"Damn, ya look like ya didn't sleep a wink last night," he said as he shoved cereal into his mouth and continued to talk. "Does yer bitch really mean that much to ya?" He cackled, some milk dribbling out and back into his bowl. "Just use Menoly or somethin'. She doesn't yell at ya that much and she's easy to hold down."

I glared at him while poking at my food. "Mai's not my bitch," I growled.

He sighed, "But I guess it ain't the same right?" He swiped a piece of my toast and crammed it into his mouth. He swallowed before continuing, "Don't be so depressed! Ya know what they say, if yer bored, just get a whore! Yer bitch shouldn't be too upset. If she does, ya can always "punish" h-!"

I slammed my hands on the table and stood up. "I'm not sleeping with her!" That got the attention of everyone in the room. I left the room with a frown, but the moment I shut the door to my room, I sunk down to the floor with my head between my knees. Nnoitra always calls Mai my bitch. He was making me think of her, and it didn't help that I heard her scream when I walked in to see if I could check on her.

There was a knock on the door. I got up and took a breath to calm down. When I opened it, I saw it was the nurse.

"Grimmjow-san, Mai-san has fallen unconscious." I stared at her. No surprise there. She was in a world of pain, and I'm supposed to be surprised that she was unconscious? "Well…we need her permission to put her through surgery…but she's unconscious, and we can't really wake her up, because she'll feel intense pain…" The nurse fidgeted under my stare. "So we have to ask her highest ranking loved ones."

I snorted inside my head. The 'highest ranking' part was a bit stupid.

"So I am here to ask your permission to put her through the surgery. Her injuries will heal, but she may not have the strength to keep her position as the Sexta Espada…"

My eyes widened. If Mai couldn't keep her position…she would have to move out of my quarters. A week or two ago, that would've been fine, but I still want her to live with me.

"Can't you just let her injuries heal naturally?" I asked. The nurse shook her head.

"Some of them can't heal fast enough." I gave her a questioning look. "Aizen-sama gives about a month for serious injuries to heal. If they can't in that time, their position is taken away."

"Why can't you get that prisoner woman to heal her?" I asked. If that girl was useful in any way, she should heal Mai.

"Well…her abilities aren't that good, and with the injuries Mai-san has, she might lose the use of a body part if Inoue-san isn't fully capable of reversing it…correctly. It's too complicated to explain…"

I was silent for a moment.

"Grimmjow-san…?" The nurse looked up worriedly.

"…Can I see her?"

"Excuse me?"

"Can I see her?" I repeated. "I want to see her, right now." The nurse looked like she was about to interrupt, but I didn't let her. "I don't care if she's unconscious. I want to see her myself."

She hesitated for a moment before sighing. "Okay…but please be quiet to she can rest."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure, whatever."

~G~

Once the hospital room's door shut behind me, I looked down at Mai. She seemed to be sleeping, but not anywhere close to peacefully. Her face just showed how much pain she was in. There were a few blood stains here and there on her pillow and herself. Her hand was clutching a wound on her chest, and her breathing seemed painful.

Mai doesn't deserve this. I hate it when Aizen kills someone off with no thought. I never paid too much attention to it before, but Aizen's crossed a line this time. I don't think Mai's ever pissed Aizen off enough for him to want to kill her. I bet Aizen's doing this to make me suffer.

I sat down at the edge of her bed. She looked like she was dying, which obviously didn't improve my mood. I gently brushed her bangs away from her face. For some reason, I smiled a bit. Even though Mai was paler then usual, she looked beautiful.

'…Did I just think she was beautiful?' I looked down at her again. I've always teased her about…well, everything. I use to tease her about how cute she was, especially when Aizen made us dress up nice for his crappy 'formal dinners'. I would tease her about how she can't be hot, because it would just be weird, when Leola started talking about the difference between hotness and cuteness. I liked to poke fun at her about her chest, because unlike most girls in Las Noches, she wasn't that busty. Sure, she was younger then a lot of them, and sure, you can't really complain, but it was fun to make fun of her.

'But I've never called her beautiful.' I thought to myself. I looked down at her again. 'Screw what I think. She's beautiful and I'm not changing my mind.' I smirked to myself as I cupped her cheek in my hand. Mai meant a lot to me, and I wasn't going to let anyone have me think differently anymore. '…I really did miss her…' Right as I was leaning down to kiss her, the door opened.

"Grimmjow-san?" I jumped and sonido'ed myself onto the couch, but missed because of the freak-out and landed on the floor. My face was probably red and I was breathing a bit hard. "Grimmjow-san, are you okay? You look flustered." Kiatcero set down some flowers in a vase on the side table.

"Oh, it's just you," I got up and pretended to brush myself off, but was hiding my blush.

"…I came to give Mai-sama some flowers. The nurse finally let us visit, isn't that wonderful?" he asked as he picked up the blue rose.

'Hey…that was the one I gave her…' My eyes wandered to Mai's neck. There was a light bandage there. '…they used it to strangle her…'

"This is a dirty flower…" said Kiatcero to himself. "I'm going to go throw it away."

"No!" He looked at me oddly. "I mean…I think that was Mai's…I mean, she might've had it with her…so she might want to keep it…" I said stupidly while scratching the back of my head.

Kiatcero nodded, "Okay…but let's leave now so Mai-sama can rest." I nodded and headed towards the door. He turned around and gave a quick kiss to her cheek. "Good night, Mai-sama," he said quietly before following me out the door.

I felt a pang of jealousy, but that quickly faded away when I remembered something Mai told me a while back. She said that Kiatcero was like a little kid sometimes (because apparently, he's younger then we think) and he never means any harm. She also told me not to take it too seriously when she saw me glaring at his direction.

~G~

Three weeks later, it was about mid-March now. It was unusually warm out, so most of the Espada were outside. The only ones that weren't were Aaroniero, Szayel Aporro, and Ulquiorra. I was outside once in a while too, if you count going out onto the balcony.

Mai's fraccion were with me more then my own fraccion. They stopped being so clingy after I gave them permission to put Mai through the surgery. Everything went fine, but I haven't seen her for three weeks. Today, I was going to visit her. I knew she was sleeping most of the time, but that wasn't stopping me.

"Damn, it's a nice day out." Once I shut the door behind me I went to open the window that was in the room. A nice breeze flowed through the room. Mai should have some fresh air every now and then.

There was a sigh behind me. I thought she had woken up. It would've been the first time I saw her conscious over the past month. But of course, life was cruel, and she was just sighing in her sleep. At least she didn't look as pained as before. Mai had been through a lot, but even more through the surgery. The nurse told me that it had brought on extreme pain, because something went wrong at one point. Mai had to go through pain that was hell and a few knives on top. It must've been horrible, because I heard she was awake during part of the it.

"If only you would wake up," I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed. Mai looked different, but it was better for her. She didn't look pale anymore, her hair was longer, and she actually had signs of life in her when she slept. 'She really is beautiful…'

I brushed her bangs away from her face, like I did last time, and like last time, I smiled. Mai sighed again in her sleep, her arm slung across her stomach in a lazy way. "Heh, how adorable," I teased, even though she couldn't hear me. Her wrist was bandaged, but that seemed to be the only visible injury. I wasn't going to look for any below the waist, because if someone decides to walk in again, it's not gonna look good.

Fingering the loose end of the bandage on her wrist, I ended up taking her hand in mine. Another thing that was different about her was that she was skinnier. The nurse had told me that she hadn't been eating too much. 'If only she would wake up. I want to talk to her.'

Glancing over at the blue rose that was still on the side table I saw that it was wilting, but still there. It looked smaller, but it wasn't because of the wilting. Between her fingers, there was a blue rose petal. I took it and stared at it for a moment. '…she still remembers…'

I took her hand in mine again. "If only you would wake up…" I gently tilted her chin up and leaned down. 'I don't care who walks in right now…' I closed my eyes as I gently pressed my lips against hers. At first, I was afraid she would wake up, but after a moment, I leaned into it more. 'I…'

My thoughts were interrupted when Mai's hand squeezed back. She gently pressed her other hand against my chest. I pulled away and looked down at her with somewhat wide eyes. Her turquoise ones stared right back.

"That could be sexual harassment, Grimmjow," she said quietly with a soft smile and a blush.

~M~

Grimmjow continued look down at me. He kept opening then shutting his mouth, like he wanted to say something, but couldn't decide if he should or shouldn't.

"Mai…you're…awake…" He looked at me for a moment more before cupping my cheek in his hand.

"Yeah…I am," I said a bit stupidly, still blushing somewhat. There was still awkwardness between us. I stared up at him for a while longer before breaking the staring contest and glancing to my side. "U-um…could you get off of me…?" Deep down, I really did want to be with Grimmjow…it's just…because of what others would think… Before, I could easily hide and deny the fact that I did want Grimmjow, but it's kind of hard since I've been out of it for about a month.

Grimmjow complied and got off, but still didn't get off the bed. He sat next to me, and never let go of my hand. I didn't mind either. It wasn't awkward, surprisingly. I actually liked the feeling a lot. 'I'm just upset it took a huge tragedy and a half for me to realize how much I like him…'

We sat there in silence for a while. It wasn't an awkward silence though, it was peaceful. I don't know how long we sat there, but we watched as the artificial sun set and the breeze get cooler until it was chilly. Grimmjow got up to shut the window. Mentally, I pouted because my hand felt empty. 'It's getting cold in here…' I thought to myself as I pulled the blankets up to my shoulders. Aizen probably turned off all the heat except his again.

"So…" Grimmjow sat at the edge of the bed. "You have this whole bed to yourself?" I couldn't see his face, but I think he might've been blushing a bit. I glanced down at the bed and saw that it is a two person bed. Being an Espada had its perks I guess…

"Um…yeah…" I stifled a yawn as Grimmjow got up and headed for the door. Before he was out of reach though, I reached out and grabbed the back of his jacket. "Wait…"

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"Will you…sleepwithmetonight?" I asked as I let go of his jacket. "I mean…I'm… I'm kinda lonely in here…and…" I looked down to hide my blush before continuing. "I've missed you…"

Without a word, Grimmjow turned off the lights, and crawled into bed with me. I sensed his smirk as he pulled over some of the blanket, which he did a lot when we would share a bed when it got too cold and Aizen turned off the heat. With a smile, I sighed before pulling some back, pulling it so that I would be laying on part of it, so he couldn't get it back as easily.

I heard Grimmjow laugh quietly before scooting closer and wrapping an arm around my stomach. He buried his face into my hair and with a smile said "It's cold in here, and you're warm."

I couldn't help but smile.

~G~

"Son of a BITCH!"

Nnoitra had just dumped a bucket of freezing cold water on us. Mai had squealed before shoving the blanket up, but that only blocked about 30% of the water. It was freezing cold, and Aizen didn't turn on the heat. Before I could curse anymore, though, Aizen stepped up. Apparently, he had ordered Nnotira to do that.

'Bastard.'

"W-what are you here for, Aizen-sama?" asked Mai as she peeked up from the other side of the bed. In the process of throwing up the blanket, she rolled off the bed with a thud.

"How long has it been since you came back, Mai?" asked Aizen in a calm, but creepy voice. His smile just sent shivers up my spine sometimes…not that I would ever admit that.

"Um…maybe about a month?" she forced a smile and glanced up at the ceiling in thought. "At least…I would think so…I've actually been sleeping most of this time. I'm sorry I haven't sent in any of my paper work," Mai bowed her head in quick apology, "I just forgot."

Aizen turned to Nnoitra and dismissed him. Next, he turned toward us. "What were you doing in here so early in the morning, Grimmjow?" he asked with his creepy-assed smile.

I didn't say anything. I just half glared half stared at the self proclaimed god. Whatever I say, he's going to twist it around and find a way to punish me for it. So it was somewhat better to not say anything…but if I don't, he'll also take that the wrong way. Stupid bastard.

"He…" Mai stood up, balancing herself on her good foot, since apparently her ankle was still a bit sprained. "He was just making sure I was okay," she tugged at the hospital gown she was wearing. Now that I looked at it, it was freakin' short. Aizen's a freakin' pervert.

I swear I just saw Aizen smirk when he noticed that she was tugging at it.

"I-I'm sorry if…" Mai glanced over at me, trying to think of something. "…if I distracted him from his duties…" She glanced down at the floor as Aizen closed his eyes briefly.

"I just need one thing," Aizen held out his hand, "Come here." Hesitantly, Mai slid over the bed and stood in front of Aizen. "You have been out for a month. Are you ready to come back to work?"

Mai seemed relieved; she must've thought he was going to say (or do) something else. "Ah…Aizen-sama…I don't think I can…" He raised an eyebrow.

"Why is that? A broken wrist and ankle cannot be that hard to shake off."

Something clicked in my head. '…the nurse told me that Espada were given one month to heal from any serious injuries…or else…' My eyes widened.

"She's fine," I spoke up. He glanced over at me with a questioning look.

"Oh? Can you prove it?" He sat down on the couch. I glanced over at Mai. She gave a questioning look also. I walked over to her and turned around so Aizen couldn't see her.

"Just play along, if you don't do this, you'll lose your position," she narrowed her eyes, but nodded. "This'll hurt, but just…grin and bear it?" Mai glared at me. "Okay…not the right thing to say, but just show that you're still capable."

"…Fine, but you better make it up to me."

~M~

I winced as Yylfordt slapped my back. Somehow, I had managed to pass Aizen's test, and moved back into the Sexta quarters. It was still a bit awkward, but Grimmjow and I agreed that we won't do anything to each other, forget about the awkwardness, and watch each other's back. Grimmjow's fraccion and my own decided to throw a little celebration for my return.

"Nice to have you back, sis," said Yylfordt as he took another shot of vodka. I just smiled weakly before limping my way, as discreetly as possible, back to Grimmjow's room. My ankle hurt like hell, my wrist burned, my stomach just kills me, and my back felt like it was on fire. I winced when my wrist hit something.

"Are you okay?" asked Grimmjow as he appeared from the shadows. He placed a hand on my shoulder and made me look up at him.

"N-no…" I shut my eyes, "I hurt all over and I'm dizzy. Who did you let pick the music anyways?" I asked. The music was REALLY loud and blew your ears into oblivion. "Ugh…" I shut my eyes, trying to keep consciousness. The dizziness was horrible. My vision's swirling around and I can barely stand up.

"I'll take you back to our room," Grimmjow said as he started to pick me up.

"No…" I gently pushed him. Yes, I actually did want him to pick me up, being the girl I am, but I didn't want to depend on him. Aizen could have cameras everywhere, as we all know.

"Mai, you-!" He tried to help again, but in the process of trying to turn around, and from being so dizzy, I tripped and accidentally tripped Grimmjow in the process. He landed on me with a loud thumb. I cried out when my back hit the ground. It hurt so much that I blacked out.

~G~

"What happened?" asked Kiatcero when I shoved the door open to my room. He was in the hallway when I came through, carrying Mai. He headed towards the bathroom as I set Mai down on the bed. She whimpered when my hand pressed against her back. She opened an eye and tried to sit up. I pushed her down gently.

"Don't bother; I don't want you straining yourself." She was about to speak up when I interrupted, "No. Go to sleep, Kiatcero'll take care of you." Mai glared at me for a minute before lying back down.

"…Fine…but will you stay?"

I was about to answer when Nnoitra slammed the door open, all drunk in glory. "C'mon, Grim! Ya vetter get out some bit, or yer a total loser!"

What he said barely made sense, but before I could say no, he hooked his arm around mine and dragged me down the hall. "Wait-!"

"Yer gonna go drinkin', I ain't lettin' ya sleep wit' her again. Too much, ain't good," Nnoitra smirked as he handed me a bottle.

I thought about it a bit. Life's been full of stress. Mai…will be fine. Hell, I'm already the littlest bit drunk, so why not?

"Bottom's up."

~M~

I sighed as Kiatcero left the room. He had given me a wet towel for my forehead before leaving. He didn't want to, but my orders are orders and he wouldn't disobey me. I honestly didn't care too much that Grimmjow went drinking. …Okay, I did, but it's easy to forget when you feel like you're dying.

'…I wish I said yes to Grimmjow…' I sighed as I sat up, but winced when my back started killing me all over again. I just can't stand this anymore. The pain's coming and going at the most inconvenient times. Since no one was in the room, I unzipped my jacket and shrugged it off. I got up, even though it hurt, and grabbed the light robe I had and pulled it on. It was way more comforting then the uniform.

Once I changed and took my painkillers (which I really didn't want to take, but they make me drowsy, so I took them anyways), I (gently, because I had to) flopped down on Grimmjow's bed. I sighed as I closed my eyes. It started raining outside.

'…I hate this…' The pain was just so…damn painful. I hated it. I hated being useless. Why did I have to get hurt so badly? 'Ugh…I just want to die…' I rolled over so that I was on my back. I tucked my hand under the pillow, and to my surprise, I pulled out my red ribbon. 'Why does Grimmjow have this?' I brought it closer to my face and sighed. '…it smells like Grimmjow now…' I shook my head. 'Tsk…I'm so weird, thinking about what smells like who…'

The blaring music moved up over my head. The part must've moved to Nnoitra's room. I groaned. 'I just want to die…sometimes.'

~M~

Hours later, when I came to, the music had quieted down, but there was still a lot of noise from above. I groaned as I turned toward the balcony.

"MAI!" I jumped when Grimmjow jumped down from Nnoitra's balcony to ours. He shoved open the doors and stomped over. He slammed his hands down onto the bed, on either sides of my head.

"You're drunk," I said plainly as I stared up at him. He tilted his head to the side with a grin.

"Nuh-uh~" He leaned down, but I pushed him back, wincing when I realized it was my hurt wrist.

"Grimmow, get off of me," he shook his head before 'collapsing'…face first onto me. He tried to pull off my robe. "Grimmjow! Stop it!"

"Aww~ Ya know you want shome~" he slurred as he sat up a bit on my stomach. Grimmjow held my wrists down before leaning down with a sly smirk.

"Grimmjow…" I blushed as he started to untie my robe. I kneed his chest…which didn't get him off of me. "I really don't want to do this! Get off!" He leaned down for a kiss. I shut my eyes, but it was hard to ignore Grimmjow when his tongue was pressing against mine. "G…Grimm-ngh…"

He pulled back and looked down at me seriously. I was freaked out, blushing madly. Grimmjow was sitting there, on me, probably about to rape me as payback. 'I hate myself so much right now…'

When Grimmjow's drunk, he's downright honest sometimes. That can be a good or bad thing. Right now, it's a very bad thing. Actually right now, he was groping me. 'I-I have to get him to stop this…'

"Grimmjow," I kneed him softly. "C-can you p-please stop?" He looked up at me and let go of my wrists.

"And why should I go that?"

'Why?' "I-I don't know, maybe because you'll regret it later if you don't?" He stared down at me blankly. "Grimmjow…you really will regret this later on."

"But I'm drunk an' horny now." I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Grimmjow…" 'How the hell am I going to convince him to stop? No means no isn't going to help me here…' "Since you're so…drunk and horny…this is kind of like a one-night stand, isn't it?"

He nodded with a grin.

"How much do I mean to you?" 'Dammit, wrong question!' I may or may not have had a drink or two…and I may want to actually know the answer… 'Crap…' "I-I mean…one-night stands don't mean that much, and do I really mean that little to you?" I tried to cover up the question, but failed miserably.

"Do you really wanna know?" He leaned down, forcing another kiss. I closed an eye as he smirked.

"Gr-Grimmjow…s-stop that…ngh…stop! T-that hurts!" I winced. Grimmjow said something, I couldn't catch it. I mean, it's kind of hard to hear every word when the guy you thought you lo-…liked was molesting and probably going to rape you.

My eyes widened, "Wh-what…?"

"You mean everything to me."