A/N- A warning to anyone who follows me and is expecting fluff: This is most definitely not fluff.

This fic is based on the song Hate Me by Blue October, one of my favorite bands. Go listen to it, it's a good song. It'll help you understand where I'm going with this too. This story is gonna be pretty angsty for my standards, and features drunk!Blaine throughout a good chunk of it. So if that isn't what you were expecting, this is the time to go...

Disclaimer: I don't and never will own Glee... But I will someday marry Chord Overstreet. That is for sure.

"Blaine? Blaine, it's David. You were acting weird last night, Wes and I were getting worried. I just wanted to check in on you, see if you were alright. Call me back later, man, we should talk if something's bothering you. Bye, Blaine."

The message ended, and silence once again filled the empty house. Tears spilled from Kurt's blue eyes as he hit the erase button on the answering machine. Blaine would never come back to listen to it anyway.

It surprised Kurt that Blaine hadn't told his friends that he was leaving. Maybe it had been a snap decision, made in the middle of the night through a drunken haze. Blaine made most decisions through a drunken haze these days.

Kurt sighed and wiped gingerly at his tears, going to the bathroom in search of a tissue. He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but let out a small gasp. He looked like walking death. His usually perfect hair was disheveled, and his flushed face was marred by streaking tears. One eye was bloodshot from the salty droplets, while the other was still black and swollen from the night before.

Kurt searched for a washcloth in the cabinet below the sink. He pulled out a worn old rag and walked through the living room, hoping there was still ice in the freezer. Kurt had to step around glass as he went. The shards were scattered across the floor, the liquor staining the wallpaper where the bottles had been thrown only a few hours ago. On the way, he passed the calendar pinned against the wall. He let out a curse as he saw the date, running to the phone. He would need to make a call before taking care of his eye.

One ring. Two. Three. It stopped suddenly, and a woman cleared her throat. "Hello?"

"Candice?" Kurt's voice was unnaturally shy. "I- I can't make it today."

He heard a hand slam against wood. His agent was always easily frustrated. "What? Kurt, sweetie, that's not an option. This commercial could be your big break!" Candice sounded angry, but pleading. "Give me one good reason why you can't go."

Tears rolled down Kurt's smooth cheeks. "Candice, please, I just can't!" He let out a choked sob, and her tone immediately changed to that of a caring mother.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" She was slowly becoming more and more frantic. "Did something happen to your dad again?" He gave a clipped reply, telling her his father was fine. "Was it- Oh, sweetie, are you and Blaine having problems?" Kurt started crying harder, and the shaking was making it hard to keep the phone to his ear. "Oh god, what happened?"

Kurt shook his head. "Now just isn't a good time, okay? I'll tell you when I'm ready to start looking for work again."

He knew Candice was probably pursing her lips, craving information in the way only she could. Kurt was lucky the woman liked him, or she would be making demands like there was no tomorrow. "Alright, call me as soon as you're ready. And Kurt?"

He sniffled. "Yeah?"

"I'm saying this as a friend, honey. Maybe you and Blaine should take a break for a while."

Kurt let out a strange sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob. "Trust me, that won't be a problem. Bye, Candice." He hung up without waiting for a reply and went to the kitchen. The sooner he got some ice on this bruise, the less likely it would be around for much longer.


Blaine finished pumping a tank of gas and climbed back into his car, speeding off toward the highway. He could make it to New York City today, traffic permitting. He gripped the steering wheel, the dull ache in his knuckles a constant reminder of what he had done. But that was something he would need to forget, and soon. It would be better for everyone that way.

He didn't really have a plan for when he reached New York. Blaine knew he would need to find a place to live, and a job. He had taken a lot of his life savings with him when he left, stopping at the bank as soon as it opened that morning, but he knew it wouldn't last long in the Big Apple. He had about a month or two's worth of rent, not including food (and more importantly, alcohol) expenses.

Blaine knew it would all work out though. That's why he left, right? He needed a fresh start, and this was the only way to get one. And if it didn't work out... Well, that was what the alcohol was for. When he didn't get accepted to the college he wanted, he drank. When he tried his music career but no label would take him, he drank. Whenever Kurt started nagging him about god knows what, he drank. And the night before, when his friends had been talking about all the great things they were doing with their lives, he drank. A lot. Enough to hurt the love of his life.

That's when Blaine knew it was time to go. Kurt was too good for him, he deserved better. Kurt had dreams, and a future. What did Blaine have? A failed attempt at stardom and a bottle in each hand.

He was gonna change though. And he needed to leave to do it. "I'll just drive away. So fucking far, he'll have to forget about me." And as Blaine crossed the Ohio State boarder, he knew that would have to be enough.

A/N- Review? Please?