Chapter 1: A frustrated reader

Disclaimer; All Harry Potter characters, locations, and other recognizable places and people are the wonderful creations and brain children of a master quill: Ms.J.K.R. I write as a form of personal self improvement. I do not get paid for this quasi-writing.


smut, romance, fantasy, alternate universe, humour, some DH, EWE,. Featuring : un-repentant, Lucius Malfoy about to receive a lesson in love. Hermione, minister wiz, is after him and with her nose inside romance books. It could be a Lumione or turn into a Dramione. No triads, winner takes all. I will let you all decide


The wizard and his Captive

Hermione finished reading the article written by Rita, A Romantic fairy tale, and was remembering the excerpt, it was cheesy, yet sweet.

—The war is over, and every thing back to normal. But normal is not the same for everyone, let's take Severus Snape whose life was rescued from poisoning. Yes, it was at the last minute thanks to Narcissa Malfoy's quick intervention. She had her best interest at heart, which was Severus Snape's heart, and as it should be, love conquered all. Of course, she not only rescued him; no my dear gentle reader, she went all the way and gave him back not only his life, but also her love and her heart.

This is the love story of a blond warrior queen and a dark knight—she fought and rescued his life from the jaws of death, and the only weapon was her love. It is not a fairy tale, it is the real life of the Rich and Famous...

As I write this tale of true love, Severus is happily brewing exclusive perfumes with special magical qualities, while loving his bride, Narcissa Snape. He is waiting for his second child, a boy; the first was named after Lucius, Narcissa's first husband and her best friend. The charming couple lives in the south of France, in a former Malfoy home...

She finished reading and sighed at the lovely story while she drank a glass of wine.

Her parents had come back from Australia only a little mad if not already over their anger. They did, however, ask Hermione to move back home. She couldn't find a way to refuse them; thus, once she completed her last year at Hogwarts as a head girl, and dated the usual suspects but nothing special –at least that was her current view- she moved back with her parents.

So it was, that at 23 years of age, she was still living at her parents' home. The Granger were convinced that Hermione was 17 and treated her accordingly. They blamed it all in the couple of years they had lost. In truth, the experience of their daughter fighting a war, and then erasing their memories, had left them somewhat leery. Overprotective would be putting in mildly, and our favorite witch decided to make them happy even at her own expense.

What was new? 'Aim to please,' was Hermione's secret middle name; and she was positive that nobody had an inkling of her true nature.

Living at home wasn't optimal for her social life, and nothing improved after she had Floo service installed at their home. The parents insisted that it should be installed in the small sitting room right across their bedroom. Her father told her, "I chose the location keeping your security in mind. You know, in case some intruder should Flo, a man should be would be in the first line of attack." Sure and they slept with their door open, a light flipped on in the hallway whenever the Floo was activated, and her father complained every time she was not home by 2 A.M. You didn't need to be a mind giant to figure out her parent's pitiful scheme.

Hermione decided to let them win for a little while longer and bid her time. After all, she was saving to buy her own flat. She had a large trust fund from her grandparents, plus the award after the war,

to her savings, and soon, she would be able to buy a very nice flat right at Diagon Alley. So it was that for fun and recreation, Hermione Granger resorted to escape in the world of imagination.

To her regret, shagging was not one listed in her long list of accomplishments, and it wasn't not for a lack of trying. Ron shot too fast, even before making contact, and not once, more than ten times; thus, it could be qualified as a disgrace. Yes, she could see herself as the virgin that got pregnant; and after reading several books, she decided that Ron was too afraid of her, and if she were to get pregnant, she should, at the very least, have enjoyed the baby making part.

Harry almost did and at the last minute possible, with all the mechanics in place,decided that sex wasn't his thing, at least not with her. Hermione suspected that there was more to Harry and Ron than met the eye.

Nope, the truth was simpler, he was afraid that Ron would kill him as he had promised more than once. "Mate you shag Hermione before I do, and you are one dead wizard; if one of us two is to have her, that would be me, Ronald B. Weasley."

Then there was Neville, they almost did, but Ginny considering the wizard shortage and wanting a large Gringott's vault, took him off from the marriage market by getting pregnant, 100 % unoriginal. She remembered, "Hermione, I need to cancel our trip to the islands, remember the day that I went to help Ginny with her problem gardenias…"That was the day when she learned about the plant genius' ability to plant 'gardenias' in fertile ground.

Too bad, because he had turned into one yummy wizard, and to add salt to the wound, a couple months ago, Ginny had made the comment that Harry was an animal, and she found him too intensive and too scarily big; where was he big? No idea, she didn't say. And if that weren't enough, she also told her that Harry wanted to do it all the time, and she was afraid of his base instincts, meaning what? Maybe she was wrong about Harry, he sounded like someone she would want? Oh well.

Her list went to ten near-misses. To include the short-lived Slytherin series, starting with her BIG DISSAPOINTMENT and ending with the last one; who wanted just to torture her, and had even suggested the use of a 'Cruciatus' curse, apparently he had read witches were into such things. He was a bit confused about what constituted foreplay; after the so-called date, she landed at St Mungo's, and yes, still a virgin. Forget it, at the end of day, one good Muggle electronics friendwhile reading a 'good' book, was her solution; and she needed a flat before she tried anyone else.

Her lusterless, unmemorable, and, perhaps, a bit comical love life, had its moments but had neither permanently stained her generous soul nor terribly injured her trusting heart; it had, however, left a large, dark ink spot, one that had turned into a virtual pain in her bum.

The Thorn in Her Backside

She had been a student at a prestigious Muggle University's magical campus. She studied the law, to be solicitor, and specialized on International Magical Law and Magical Creature Rights.

Her dreams to fight for the underdog had never diminished, and she was hungry to prove herself. The last month of her last year, she had a Professor Emeritus, the allegedly reformed Dark Eater, the one and only Dark wizard, Lucius Abraxas Malfoy.

During his tenure, he had refused to acknowledge her as person, and not once, he had been civil to her.

Whenever she would raise her hand to answer, he wouldn't even look at her direction. Yes, that was not quite accurate; sometimes entirely frustrated at her insistence, he often would drawl, "Miss Granger, with all that hand raising it is a wonder that your arm is not yet misshaped or severely injured. One would think that would be the case, considering the abuse inflicted over the years. By the way, we all deeply aware of your broad and infinite knowledge, on all matters written and discussed in the trajectory of magical history, so give it a rest, and let others answer."

The entire class always laughed, especially all the witches and the wizards who were in lust with the blond jerk. He smirked with malice once he saw her face flushed and splotched in all kids of red.

Go figure, to her surprise, she ended up with the highest mark on his class, and it had been a great joy if not for the insulting remark on her dissertation, penned with a flourish and expensive ink.

"I could try not to recognize your talent; however, I am more honest than you think. You might be brilliant, but you need to quit using your female weapons to get what you want; namely, your knickers. Yes, I couldn't ignore them, they were trimmed with lace matching your jumpers; the colors were red, pink, purple, animal print, and black. Who knows how much my male hormones might have influenced your mark!"

His remark made her foam at the mouth. It wasn't her fault that he was such a pervert, or that he had tripped on his robes and fallen right on his knees.

It happened at least five times. It was predictable, it happened whenever she wore the leather mini-skirt with the twin cashmere sets and the equestrian boots. He had it down to a science (a) 'drop' wand —doubled as pointer, (b) bend knees to pick it up, (c) twist torso on her direction, (d) slyly train eyes on her. Such a transparent ploy, he was obviously trying to look under her skirt, and every time that he attempted, he had tripped on his pompous, overdressed robes; the moment he fell down, the wizards that caught his maneuvers, exploded in peals of lewd laughter. There you go, his hormones and active imagination sounded like a personal problem.

A few days after the ill missive, she graduated as a Valedictorian. Many jobs at home and abroad were offered, some quite attractive. At the end, Harry, Ron, and especially Kingsley begged to stay and work for the cause.

When she told her parents, they were glad for her decision to stay around, "Love, we are so delighted that you took that job. Now that we have Floo in the house, it will be just perfect; after all, you already had your share of danger," and that was that. She hated herself for letting everyone decide for her.

She was hired for a top position, just as the other two-thirds of the Golden Trio. She now occupied the position of Deputy Minister for the newly, modernized, 'Ministry of Legal Rights of Magical Beings'. The barristers, legal experts, social workers, counselors and investigators, wrote, lobbied, defended, sold, and implemented reforms to improve the social standing and legal rights of all the non 100% human magical beings; and they were also in charge of war reparation claims.

Today, she was seating at the ministry, bored out her wits. Everyone had left early for lunch, and she had decided to stay reading her Muggle book a—for the fifth time—and to eat her apple and cheese. The book was super hot; she had been attracted to the cover, 'The Warrior and his Captive.' The colorful picture showed a muscled—an, almost, Lucius look alike — half-naked Viking, with long white blond hair down his back. The warrior held a petite, curly brunette 'captive', in his arms. She could see herself in the arms of her silver haired Viking; and now for the truth, she had been lusting for the monster since he had been her professor, and it was the virtual thorn in her side.

As it was her usual practice, she read with her quill handy. It was her habit to replace the names of the protagonists with Lucius and Hermione for added effect; a practice that was sophomoric, childish, call it whatever, but,nevertheless, it was a cheap thrill, and she couldn't care less as long as she derived enjoyment.

Harry would often try to read her books. Recently, right at her office earlier that week; at lunchtime, the prat came in quietly and with precise stealth snatched the book from her hands. She had already read three times by that date. Harry darted between desks with Hermione dashing after him; too bad her wand was inside her desk.

Next time: Lucius also works at the Ministry, and his heart is full of lust and disgust for our favourite witch. Forces are conspiring to unite them, while Lucius is bent in finding a spouse for Jezabel, his name for Hermione.