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A/N This is a Twilight O/S written by me for the Valentine's day Fanfiction Countdown. Thank you to my talented friend and Beta SparklingWand (Jeanne) and to my beautiful proofreader Twimoments (Jackie). You guys are my heart! I would also like to than Writing4Roses for the beautiful banner she was kind enough to make for this story.
(My Love, My Valentine)
I sat up in bed gasping for breath, sweating my ass off and needing a fucking release so bad it was almost painful. If I didn't stop having these dreams I swear to God I was going to die from some sort of sexual frustration, if that were even possible. To top things off, I was running late once again, and I could already hear Bella's truck turning down my street. Tough shit! I thought. She would just have to wait as usual.
I jumped up, grabbed my clothes from the chair that I had carefully laid out last night, and made my way in to my bathroom to shower. I glanced at myself in the mirror as I was stepping into the hot flow of the water; and I wished like hell that the girl causing these all nightly sex dreams would see me- for more than the fucking nerdy outcast I appeared to be here at this school. Well, that wasn't exactly right. I wished like hell that she would see me period. Instead, I couldn't help but feel that I was completely invisible whenever we were in the same fucking room together.
Now don't get me wrong, I had never been one to fit into the normal cliques in school; but it wasn't until we moved here from Texas over the summer, and I started at Forks High that any of that really bothered me. I had my share of friends back in Texas, but I was, by no means, one of the popular kids. The friends that I did have, I had pretty much known my entire life, so they accepted me for what I was… the quiet, shy kid, who would rather have his face planted in a good book, than out getting laid or partying till all hours of the night.
In fact, it may be possible that my friends back in Texas may have even thought I was gay because of my lack of interest in the opposite sex. Hell, I even worried there for awhile, so I can't blame them. It wasn't that I was ever attracted to boys or anything like that. I had never really been attracted to any girls either, so until I came here and saw her on my first day of school, I won't lie, I did worry about it.
She changed everything though, and now I just consider myself, having been a late bloomer. She is Alice Brandon, and of course, just my luck, the most popular girl in school, with good reason too. She was, without a doubt, the sexiest girl I had ever seen- with her shoulder length black hair and beautiful, deep blue eyes; her silky white skin and the beautiful blush that always seemed to glow on her cheeks, and those fucking legs... her legs seemed to go on forever which was incredible considering how small she really was.
Fuck, just thinking about her got me off within seconds of getting in this damn shower. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted this girl. There were several things standing in my way though. Besides the fact that I was virtually invisible in her eyes, she was also dating the biggest dick apparently to ever walk the halls at Forks High. His name was Edward fucking Cullen and making a fool out of the new kid, which was me, had apparently become his sole reason for coming to school every day.
Reaching down and shutting off the water, I stepped out of the shower and started to dry off when I heard her voice coming from my bedroom, "Hurry the fuck up Jazz. We're going to be late again and for what? So you could tie one off to your dream girl. Keep it up, and you can find another ride to school," she growled.
Bella didn't mean to be a bitch, it was just her personality. Call it a natural defense mechanism I guess. I never held it against her, in fact, I admired her for it. I wished like hell that I could have half the balls this little five-foot-something firecracker had. It's how we met, actually, the very first day of fucking school. Edward had started his shit with me, but instead of defending myself against him, I just stood there frozen and took whatever punishment he felt I'd deserved for being the new kid in school. Not Bella though, she saw what was happening to me, and without even knowing me, came rushing in to save the day. Was it embarrassing to have a girl defend me? Hell, yes, it was, especially because that very moment is when I saw Alice for the first time. Bella was screaming at Edward to leave me the fuck alone, while he just cocked and eyebrow and smiled at her. She planted her finger right in his chest and pushed him back away from me. Alice had been standing in the background watching carefully how Edward and Bella were interacting. I noticed her almost immediately and couldn't take my eyes off her. She didn't say a word, just kept smiling at me as though she were silently apologizing for her big oaf of a boyfriend.
Bella and I pretty much became inseparable after that, and I learned that she was new to Forks as well. She had been forced to move here from Phoenix to live with her dad when her mom remarried. This was part of the reason she had that bitchy attitude all the time. The other part being that, like me, she was considered an outcast- a nerdy bookworm. The difference though is Bella didn't take shit from anyone, and because of that, people had learned very early on to leave her the fuck alone.
Everyone, except Edward, that is, because after that day, not only did it become his life goal to make me miserable every day; but he also tried everything possible to irritate the fuck out of Bella on a daily basis. I believed it was because secretly, Edward had a crush on Bella. I mean what kind of a guy picks on a girl the way he does if they don't have other motives? Every time I would mention this to her, she would make this awful gagging sound and say that she wouldn't touch Edward if he were the last fucking boy on the planet and she was using someone else's vagina.
After getting dressed, I opened the bathroom door and couldn't help but chuckle at her sitting on the edge of my bed with her arms crossed, looking like she was ready to pounce at any second. "Hold your fucking horses, Bella. I'm almost ready, and we have plenty of time, so chill the fuck out, okay?" I said smiling, trying to calm her down, which was next to impossible when she got like this.
She just looked at me with an evil glare and stood up walking towards the door, "You, my friend, have five minutes to get your ass in my truck, or you'll be walking to school today." With that she slammed the door, and I was once again left alone in my room.
I hurried up and grabbed my bag and headed for the door myself because I knew Bella, and knowing her the way I did, told me she wasn't kidding. She was probably sitting in her truck right now, timing me down to the last second. When I finally got in her truck, I looked over at her and smiled, "Sorry you had to wait again. I didn't get much sleep last night."
"More dreams, Jazz, you really need to grow a pair and tell this chick how you feel." she seethed as she started the truck and backed out of the driveway.
"Really B, how do you suppose I do that, huh? Maybe I could just walk up to her boyfriend, tell him and ask him to relay the fucking message to her? I mean, it would be the same as walking up to her and trying to talk to her, he would fucking kill me either way! Come on, you know as well as I do that Edward would have my ass if I were to go anywhere near his girl," I yelled.
She was starting to piss me off now. She knew damned well that telling Alice that I was madly in love with her wasn't in the cards for me, not now and not ever. I frowned and I think Bella sensed that she had gone too far and reached over took my hand in hers, and looked at me apologetically.
"Look, Jazz, I'm sorry. I just want you to be happy, and you know as well as I do that if you continue on this way, not telling her how you feel, you're never going to be happy."
I turned away from her glare and looked out the window, "It doesn't matter any way, she thinks I'm a pussy and would never give me the time of day." I said barely audible.
"You're wrong, Jasper, I see the way she looks at you. Maybe you can't see it, but I do, and whether you want to believe it or not, there is something there. Look, what if there was a way to get her away from Edward long enough for you to be able to talk to her?"
"What the fuck are you talking about, B?"
"Valentine's Day is this Friday, Jazz, and there's a dance," she said reaching down into her bag that was on the seat next to her. She pulled out one of those lovey-dovey Valentine's cards which read My Love, My Valentine on the front cover and handed it to me. I looked at her with an eyebrow cocked and smiled. She rolled her eyes at me, "It's not from me, dumb ass. God, sometimes I worry about you, Jasper. It's for her from you. You're going to write a message in it telling her to meet you on the dance floor at eight on Friday night...you know, at the Valentine's dance. You're going to leave it unsigned, and you're going to somehow slip it into her locker this morning at school," she said with an evil grin on her face.
Now it was my turn, I rolled my eyes and looked down at the card. "Uhmm...Bella one problem with your whole plan….boyfriend, remember? You don't honestly believe that Edward hasn't already asked her to the dance, do you? So why would she meet someone she doesn't know on the dance floor, when she already has him?"
"You let me worry about that fucking asshole, Edward Cullen, okay? I'll make sure he is well distracted at eight, and I promise you, Jazz, if you leave that in her locker, she'll be there. Everyone likes to have a secret admirer, and no one can resist finding out who that secret admirer is."
Jesus, she had thought of everything, and I just shook my head at her in disbelief, as she pulled into our usual parking spot at school and shut the engine off. "Meet me right here after school because we have some shopping to do," she said giving me the once over, and opening the door to climb out of the truck.
"Shopping, what the hell are we shopping for, Bella?" I asked with a puzzled look on my face.
"You silly, you don't think I'm going to let you go to that dance looking like that, do you? You want her to notice you, right? Well, leave it up to me, Jazz. By the time I'm finished with you, she won't be able to take her eyes off of you!" she exclaimed as she turned and walked away towards her first class of the day.
I just stood there in total amazement. Bella had done a lot of things for me since I'd met her, but I would have to say, this was a first. Somehow I got the distinct impression that she wasn't just doing this for me, and mark my words, by Friday night, I would find out what her real motives were behind this.
First period went by way too slow for me, as I had spent the entire hour writing this crazy ass note to Alice, and because I knew the only chance I would have to slip it into her locker without being noticed was between first and second period. I had Alice's class schedule memorized if I can say that without sounding like some sort of crazy-ass stalker. I knew that her second period class was clear on the other side of campus from her locker, and it was the only time of the day she wouldn't have time to make a stop at her locker. The bell signaling the end of class rang, and instantly, I started to panic as I got up and walked out into the hallway towards her locker. As I approached it, I made sure to look around; I didn't want anyone seeing me do this and would tell Alice who might have slipped her the card. I knew if that happened; there was no way in hell she would ever show up to meet me on Friday night, not knowing that it was me.
As I assessed the situation and verified that there was no-one around who could rat me out, I quickly darted over to her locker and shoved the card in the only opening there was…silently cursing Bella the whole time for ever suggesting I do this in the first place. After dropping the card inside, I tried to act as casual as I could and made my way down the hall to my second class of the day.
Second period went by without incident, but unlike first period it went by way too fast, and I became filled with dread at the sound of the bell, knowing all too well what would be waiting for me on the other side of that door. I knew this was the one time of day that I would have to pass Alice and Edward in the hall, on my way to my next class. I was fucking terrified that he had seen the card, and that he would instantly guess that it was from me, when in reality, I had never given him any reason to believe that I secretly longed to steal his girl from him.
When I got to the door, I peeked out into the hall to see if they were anywhere in sight, maybe I could just hide out here until they passed by. God, you're a pussy, get a fucking grip man, I said to myself forcing every step I took out into the hall. Oddly they were nowhere to be seen. Wouldn't it just be my luck that the one fucking day I decide to do something like this, Alice would be absent from school.
Not taking any chances, I hung my head low and practically sprinted across campus to my next class and breathed a sigh of relief as soon as I stepped safely through the door to the classroom.
Sitting down at my desk, I threw my bag on the floor and laid my head in my arms on the desk. Why in the hell did I let that fucker intimidate me the way I do? He wasn't much bigger than I was; in fact, I think we were the same height. Yeah, he was a little more bulked up than me, but honestly, if we were to really go at it, I think I would have a fair shot at kicking his ass.
That was just me. I hated any sort of conflict, but I could tell with every passing day here at this school, my hatred for that fucking guy was beginning to win over. I didn't like feeling this way about myself, and I loathed him for making me the coward that I was. I took deep breaths and tried to calm down, and by the end of class, I had successfully come down from the panic I had worked myself into earlier.
The bell rang once again, and it was time for lunch, thank God. It was the only other time of day that I got to spend with Bella. We didn't have one single class together, but at least we had lunch. I met her in the hall outside of the cafeteria as we did every day, and she looked up at me with questioning eyes. "Did you do it?" she asked as I approached.
"Yeah, I did it." answering her, sounding a little peeved and turning towards the doors of the cafeteria.
"Jasper, are you okay?" she asked sounding concerned, once we were seated at our normal table hidden away in the corner.
"I'm fine, Bella, just a little pissed off that I've went through all of this, and Alice isn't even here today."
"What are you talking about, Jazz, she's right over there," she said pointing to the other side of the cafeteria. My gaze followed her finger and sure enough, there she was sitting at her normal table right beside her asshole of a boyfriend.
Oh God... the dread started to fill me once again, with the thought of her and Edward standing at her locker while she opened it to find the card there. I can almost see the look on Edward's face as he realized his girl had a secret admirer, and how he longed to hunt that son of a bitch down and kill him.
"Jazz," I barely heard her say, "Are you okay?"
She waved her hand in front of my face trying to pull me from my thoughts, "Yes, damn it, I'm fine, just stop asking me that please, Bella." I begged.
"Fuck... sorry, you looked like you might be having some sort of panic attack or something. Excuse me for worrying!" she growled, and for the second time today I found myself apologizing to her.
"Look, I'm sorry, Bella, it's just I didn't have any of this planned when I woke up this morning, and forgive me, if getting my faced smashed in by Edward Cullen seems to put me in a bad fucking mood."
"What the hell are you so worried about, Jasper? It's not like he knows you're the one who left the card there for her to find, if he even knows about the card at all. Which I'd say from the looks of things, he doesn't."
"How do you know that, Bella? " I asked sounding entirely too paranoid.
"Because, Jazz, first of all, I know that Edward was in the office all morning because of some trouble he got into last week, and second, I think I know Alice well enough to say that if she got the card, which I'm sure she did, that it's just not something she would share with him." she whispered.
"Oh...wait, how did you know Edward was in the office all morning?"
She looked at me with that evil grin on her face once again, "I know because I was with him, Jasper. I was the trouble he got into last week." she said with a triumphant smile on her face.
"Yeah, he started his shit with me in the middle of the library last week during study hall, and well, let's just say I wasn't having any of that. So, we both ended up with detention that just happened to be scheduled for this morning."
She'd known that all along, and she hadn't said a fucking word to me. I spent the entire first part of my day peeking around corners and waiting for him to jump me from behind; and she'd known all along that he would have been nowhere near Alice's locker when she opened it to find that card waiting there. She'd had all this planned out to a tee.
"Why do you think I chose today to spring all of this on you, Jazz?" she asked smiling again, completely satisfied with herself for having pulled this off.
Ugh, I thought. This is one of those moments when I would like to kill her and hug her all at the same fucking time. "Why are you doing all of this for me, Bella? " I asked because I couldn't shake the feeling that she had ulterior motives for her so-called plan.
For the first time ever, she was silent and couldn't look me in the eye, and suddenly everything became clear to me. "Oh my God, you're not doing this for me. You're doing this for you!"
"What the fuck are you talking about, Jasper? Of course I'm doing this for you. Why else would I be doing it?"
"Come on, Bella, admit it...admit it right now, you have it bad for Edward!" I exclaimed with a smile.
"Pffft...you're crazy!" she said.
"No, I'm not. You like him and your pushing me together with Alice was just your way of killing two birds with one stone. I get her and in the process, you get him...come on admit it!"
"Shut the fuck up, Jazz!" she said standing and stomping off as the bell rang.
I stood up with a huge smile on my face despite the fact that I now knew that Bella had created this whole plan in the first place to ultimately benefit her. I also knew that if it worked by Friday night, we could finally get the happy ending that had eluded us both since coming to this school.
Turning to steel one last glance at Alice who was now walking out of the cafeteria, I noticed that she was looking at me with a strange expression on her face. Was that longing in her eyes? God, I sure as fuck hoped so. I smiled at her and turned towards the door, exiting the cafeteria to finish the rest of the school day off.
As promised, right after school, Bella drove us into Port Angeles. During the hour long drive, she was completely silent. I'd decided that I wouldn't push her for any more information than I already had. I could tell from the look on her face that she was just one step away from beating the shit out of me, and despite her size, I was pretty sure she could do some damage if she really wanted to try it.
Once we arrived at our destination, she started to relax again, and shopping went by fairly quickly. She had picked out for me what she said was the perfect outfit, and because I had no fashion sense whatsoever, I didn't argue with her. She also tried on several dresses herself, settling on a pale blue dress that I had to admit, she looked beautiful in, even though I never really pictured Bella that way.
When I questioned her about the dress, she blew it off, saying that she had to be there to make sure I didn't fuck things up, but I knew the distraction she had planned for Edward that night had been her all along; and trust me, after seeing her in that dress, I had no doubt that she would have Edward eating out of the palm of her hand before the end of the night.
Thursday amazingly went by without incident, and before I knew it, Friday night had come and Bella was knocking on my front door to pick me up for the dance. She was early of course. She said she had to make sure I had made good use of the outfit she had picked out for me. Once she had decided I was capable of dressing myself and that I looked decent enough, she asked me if I was ready to go. With a nervous smile on my face, I told her I was.
We arrived at the dance around seven, which meant we would have an hour to kill before my meeting with Alice was supposed to take place. Once we were inside, I scanned the room looking for her because I really needed to know if she had even shown up. I found her standing on the opposite side of the gym. It wasn't difficult, considering she was the most beautiful girl in the room tonight. She had on an amazing light pink dress that accented those beautiful legs of hers, and made the blush in her cheeks stand out even more than usual. She was looking around nervously and from the looks of it, Edward was nowhere in sight.
I looked down at Bella and noticed she was frantically searching the room for something herself, when suddenly she smiled. I followed her gaze and found it led right to Edward, who was also on the other side of the gym, but standing nowhere near Alice. None of this made sense to me until I saw him look up and see Bella from across the room. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know in that moment, he was completely in love with her, which made my feelings torn. One, I was happy for my best friend, she would definitely be getting what she wanted tonight, but on the other hand, I was angry that Edward would do this to Alice.
I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Bella, you do see the way he's looking at you, right?"
"Yeah," she said smiling wide.
"I hate to rain on your parade, Bella, but this somehow seems wrong. Edward is Alice's boyfriend, you know. Maybe he could wait to break up with her before he starts ogling you like that."
"Oh...Did I forget to mention that he and Alice broke up yesterday, Jazz?" She said with that evil grin appearing on her face again.
Before I had a chance to respond, she disappeared in to the crowd leaving me standing there with a stunned expression on my face I'm sure. Just like that, I realized that Alice wasn't here with Edward at all. Bella was right, she had come just to find out who her secret admirer was; suddenly I wished time would speed up, when only moments ago I was wishing for it to stop all together.
Having nothing to do and no one to talk to, everything seemed to move in slow motion as I watched the clock on the gym wall above the stage. I tried to keep an eye on Alice as she mingled with her friends, on the opposite side of the dance floor, but after awhile, she too disappeared in the crowd. I suddenly felt very exposed standing here all alone.
Looking up at the clock one last time, finally, it was seven fifty-five, and I made my way through the sea of dancing couples to the middle of the dance floor. My palms were sweating and I was literally shaking like a leaf. This was it, when I reached the center of the dance floor; I raised my head to see her standing there, right across from me. Just as we made eye contact, "My Valentine" by Martina McBride starting playing. I'll be honest I didn't plan it, but I do have to admit I couldn't have picked a better song if I had.
We walked towards each other until we were standing face to face, everyone else but us seemed to disappear. I reached up placing my hands around her waist and without words; we began to sway to the beat of the music. She laid her head on my shoulder, and for the first time ever in my life, I felt whole, standing here with this beautiful girl in my arms.
"Jasper," I heard her whisper as she looked up at me, "I'm so glad it was you." With those words slipping from her lips, it gave me the last bit of courage I really needed. I had wondered for so long what it would be like to kiss this girl, and I just couldn't wait another second. I reached up taking her face into my hands and pulled her lips to mine. It was the most amazing kiss I'd ever had in my life! Who am I kidding? It was the only kiss I'd ever had, but I was quite certain that even if I had a thousand kisses to compare it to, none of them would have lived up to this moment here with her.
When we finally broke the kiss, we were both left panting and longing for more. I took her in my arms once again, "This is it. This is all I'll ever need. Happy Valentine's Day," I whispered in her ear. Alice looked up at me and smiled. A single tear welled in her eye and I couldn't resist the urge to kiss her tears away. As my lips touched her cheek, she sighed. "Since that first day, I've wanted you, but you were with Bella and I was with Edward, but this…this is so right."
I smiled at her words. My chest bursting with pride. Sure I was a little concerned with her thinking I was with Bella, but who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth. Alice was here and she wanted me.
Looking across the dance floor, my eyes fell on Bella, who was now wrapped in the arms of Edward, and I couldn't help but smile. Tonight was perfect and everything was finally as it should be.