Another fluffy piece to combat the dark one I wrote last night. My emotions are still all over the place due to that jerk coming back into my life, but I must move on. I know this. Sorry for the rant. It's very therapeutic, you know? Spilling my guts out onto this page for virtual strangers to read. Anywho, read and review please!
DISCLAIMER: my check bounced. Still not an owner of anything to do with Criminal Minds. Not a single thing. Though I do stalk the cast's twitter accounts like nobody's business, sooooo….
When Lila Archer started crying in her sleep, Spencer Reid thought the mere sound of it was going to break him. The nightmares had started a little over a week ago and all he could do was murmur little phrases of safety and comfort. He knew from personal experience that none of these would work because it was hard to save someone from their own. While some people had the talent to block out unpleasant memories, neither of them did. his life was full of dark images that never left his subconscious and she was an artist and held onto emotions and painful memories for a long time to hone her craft.
It took her two days before her resolve broke and she told him what they were about. It was always them being separated in some way through force or death or falling out of love. But now, she was screaming in her sleep and he was shaking her awake, desperate to chase her demons away from her if he only knew how.
Often times, they'd lay in bed, eyes staring at each other or the ceiling, fearful of what might overcome them when they fell asleep. But no matter how hard both tried, a comforting haze would settle in their minds and they'd be transported to a place the other couldn't follow.
When he woke up, his hands instinctively went to her side of the bed, his wedding ring glinting in the moonlight. He opened his eyes to study the form that stood shrouded in the moonlight. Her shoulders were shaking and he realized with a pang that she was trying to let him sleep, rather than allow him to comfort her.
"Lila, come back to bed." Spencer said softly, hoping not to shock her out of her current fragile state. He would hate if she had another panic attack tonight. She turned around, her eyes wide with fear and sorrow. She made her way back to the bed and allowed him to wrap himself around her. A shudder of a sigh made her body get closer to his and he firmly held her to his chest, allowing her to listen to his heart beat.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer asked softly, his lips pressed against the crown of her head, admiring the golden halo it was even now after a few hours of sleep. She shook her head and let out a little sob.
He wished he could go inside her head and steal all the bad thoughts out of it. He longed to but knew that he couldn't. Instead, he just held her as she cried and hoped the whole thing would blow over in a few days. He never expected the nightmares to continue for so long. He himself had had a few over the years, but they never lasted more than maybe two nights. Even after his brutal time with Tobias, Spencer rarely had nightmares. But she was a different person with different feelings and different hurts and he knew his job was to stand by her even when she pushed him away.
Spencer had arrived home on his lunch break to an unusually quiet house. He moved through the hallway, feeling oddly like he was wading through water as he reached their bedroom door. He saw a pile of clothes crumpled on the bed and heard the sound of the faucet running. He placed his go bag on the floor and made his way to the partially closed bathroom door.
Lila was perched on the edge of the bath, testing the water by dragging her fingers through the few inches that filled the tub. She looked up and saw him enter the room. A little smile appeared on her lips as he took in her appearance. Each time he saw her naked, it was like the first time again, his eyes worshipped her every curve.
"What'd the doctor say?" Spencer asked, his voice almost a squeak. Lila stood up, unabashedly walking towards him without a towel. She closed the gap between them and reached up to pull his face closer to hers. She placed a little kiss on his lips before turning away to slide into the warm water.
"He said that the nightmares were probably caused by my hormones being all over the place." She replied casually, picking up a wash cloth to lather soap on her arms. She glanced up at him watching his brows crease in wonder and then knowledge.
Lila giggled as she watched her husband kick off his shoes and pants and quickly submerged himself behind her, taking the wash cloth from her hands. "You know, it would have been easier for you to just get undressed completely." She stated simply as he started to rub her back.
"L..Lila, is it true? That you're…?" He couldn't finish the sentence, his throat needing to be cleared.
She turned around as easily as she could, her hands taking his. "Yes, Spencer. I'm pregnant." He noticed then that her eyes were red rimmed but there was a smile on her lips. Hesitantly, Spencer placed a hand on her still flat stomach, willing himself to imagine her growing bigger with his child inside of her. He knew it would happen one day, but hadn't imagined it would happen so soon. Granted, they had just celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary, but still it seemed like just yesterday that he had proposed to her and she had said yes.
"I would have called as soon as I found out but I didn't want to bother you at work. It wasn't something I wanted to say over the phone anyway." A fierce kiss prevented her from speaking for a few minutes as she sunk further against him.
"How far along are you?" Spencer asked as she pulled away to pull air into her aching lungs. He watched as Lila's smile grew larger, impossibly so.
"A little over three months." He did some quick calculations and his eyes widened. "We conceived at the end of October." She said proudly, She knew her husband's favorite day of the year was Halloween. She also made sure each one was better than the last. But now she was unsure how she was going to top this one.
"Have you told anyone else? Your parents?" Lila shook her head and sighed, nestling her head on his clothed shoulder.
"I don't want to yet. I want to wait until I'm about five months along, when I've started to show. I don't want to jinx anything." Spencer nodded as he felt her shiver. He stood up, pulling her gently with him and stepped out of the bath. He searched for the fluffiest towel and started to dry her off, lingering by her stomach. Impulsively, he pressed a quick kiss to it before continuing to dry off his wife.
Standing there, naked in front of him, Lila had never looked so small and yet so strong all at once. She carried the ultimate gift inside her, one that he would never forget. He lifted her out of the tub and held her lovingly in his arms, his muscles straining only slightly as he carried her to their bed. A little sigh of contentment brushed by his ear as he shed his wet clothes and slid under the sheets with her.
They made love slowly and tenderly. Spencer feared he would hurt her, despite knowing it was physically impossible for him to hurt the baby. Each noise filled him with a purpose he had never felt before.
Spencer returned to work bubbling with the news he held in his heart. It took so much willpower to not shout that he was going to be a father, that he was joining the ranks of the many men and women in the FBI who had a family to go home to. Instead, he nursed the information in his mind, wondering how he didn't pick up on the subtle clues that might have revealed her pregnancy before today. But it didn't matter, the outcome was going to be the same. He was going to be a father! Something he hadn't wanted to be until he saw how dependant Jack was with Hotch, how JJ adored Henry. The unconditional love he already felt for the child inside of Lila.
He raced through his paperwork quicker than usual, eager to get home to his wife, to his child. They sat at the dining room table, holding hands while eating dinner, eyes on each other. After cleaning up, he joined her on the couch, folding her into his arms again, his left hand placed gently on her stomach. He felt no difference in the skin there, but he knew changes would come faster than he realized. This would all be over in a few months and their lives would be changed so dramatically.
"What about the name Edgar?" Spencer asked later as he lowered himself into bed next to her. A little snort of laughter came from her side of the bed and she turned over, sleepy eyes examining him.
"You can't be serious. There is no way I'm naming our baby Edgar and before you ask, the same goes for Allen and Poe."
"But, Lila, imagine the life he would lead with such a strong name tying him to a genius of an author." If he did say so himself.
"We don't even know the gender yet and you're already picking out a name?" She asked as he nodded excitedly. Lila laughed again, shoving him gently away from her before turning away to get comfortable. He molded himself around her, holding her close.
"Why don't we wait to pick names, hm? It's going to determine the rest of his or her life so we really have to think about it carefully." He nodded and a few minutes of silence settled over them as each person thought about the other and potential names.
"What about Ferdinand?" His voice reached her ears and she turned over with a low groan before laughing. She wrapped a hand around his and shook her head.
"Drop it, Spencer." She whispered, her voice trying hard to stay stern.
"What about…" He never finished his next sentence as Lila slid on top of him, her eyes filled with mirth.
"I said, drop it." She said it like a warning before kissing him fiercely. For a little while, he did.