A/N from Jessica: Hi all. No I didn't die in the hurricane. Im lucky enough to be landlocked! yay! Here's 17. Damn, can you believe i've written this far? I sure as fuck can't. How have i not lazed out and quit writing yet? Hm.. must be you lovely readers of mine. :)
John paced through his hotel room, hands periodically running across his shorn head. He was seriously beginning to regret what he'd done with Cody. The younger brunette had texted him about an hour ago saying he was on his way to Randy's locker room to speak with him, and John had been fidgeting ever since.
He never should have done what he had to Randy. He may have deserved a lot of things, may have had a lot of comeuppance heading his way, but he didn't deserve that. John knew—he knew—that Randy seeing that video would kill him. It had never been his goal to make Randy pay, make him suffer. He wasn't a vindictive person by nature by any means. Not once since he'd caught Randy cheating had he thought of getting revenge. Two wrongs didn't make a right, and his actions didn't cause a bit of good to anyone—least of all himself. He'd let Cody's words sway him like the preverbal devil on his shoulder when he knew nothing positive could come from it. But he had agreed. It made him sick to his stomach to think of what Randy's reaction would be. He couldn't believe he had the nerve to condemn Randy, when he himself had taken Cody up on his offer as well. No one was truly innocent in this situation—they'd all committed sins against one another. Who was he to dish out karma himself?
And then there was the other reason he couldn't get that night out of his mind, why he couldn't stop pacing like a madman.
It was taking every ounce of restraint he possessed to resist hunting Cody down and having him right there. He had figured he'd be fine afterwards. Fuck em' and walk away. Leave Cody to confront Randy and put the entire mess behind him. He did what he thought was best for all involved—Randy got his due and Cody and himself were able to gain a bit of closure. It had been all well and good until he realized his thoughts hadn't left the brunette since he'd left the building. That he couldn't get the feeling of Cody's mouth out of his head. That the sound of Cody's breathy moans were still ringing in his ears. That he still felt a stirring in his groin at the thought of it ever happening again.
John sat down at the edge of the bed, blood rushing in his ears, heart hammering in his chest. This isn't what was supposed to happen. He had told Cody that nothing would come of this—that it was only a one time thing. That it was just to get Randy to realize the wrong he'd done. That was all. John leant down and buried his head in his hands. So why did he want so much for it to be something more?
His head raised as his phone went off on the nightstand near him, announcing a new message. John reached over, mouth drying instantly as he read.
Hey. It's done. Just left his locker room.
Should've seen his face.
John's fingers acted on their own accord, not realizing what he had done until after the message had been sent.
Come up here and tell me about it?
Randy hadn't moved from his spot by the lockers. He couldn't. His brain couldn't process a single thought, much less the request to move his limbs in order to sit.
They…how could…? Why would they…? Did this mean that…?
He couldn't even focus on one train of thought, his mind frozen in a state of shock.
It was clear of their intentions. Cody had been sure to hammer that down his throat. But was what he had done really that despicable? To warrant a form of payback from the men he loved? Still loved? He was so sorry for what he'd done. He'd regret his actions until the day he died. He'd caused so much heartache to the two people that meant the most to him. He'd broken John's heart with his actions and broken Cody's with his lack of action. He'd spend his entire life regretting what he'd done to them.
But did he really deserve this?
The little voice in the back of his head said, yes he did. He had hurt those closest to him and he deserved to suffer for it—in every conceivable way possible.
And yet, he knew…he knew that this was somehow different.
The actions may have selfish, torturing and chasing Cody when he had been completely innocent in everything, seducing him to the point that there was no way Cody could reject him. But, while the means may have been self-centered, didn't the ends justify them?
He fell in love with a wonderful person—was it really a crime to be in love with two people at once? Was it his fault he had already been in love when he fell into it with someone else?
Randy focused his gaze from staring at nothing, noticing the camera in his hand was shaking. Randy tightened his hands into fists, eyes trained on the screen capture of…
He gritted his teeth together almost painfully. Randy reared back, a growl of frustration leaving his lips as he hurled the camera towards the wall. He stared at the broken pieces on the floor, chest heaving.
He may have been horrible person, by many definitions, and he may have been on the way straight to hell for some of the things he'd done, but even he didn't deserve this.
How could John do this to him? After everything he'd said…after all the insults he'd hurled at him, he had the nerve to do this to him? How did that make John any better? Granted they had officially ended things, but how was this any different than what Randy had done? He didn't want to validate his actions, but at least he'd done what he had because of the exhilarating feelings coursing through his body. Randy had started a relationship with Cody because he felt something with him…he couldn't ignore the magnetic pull he felt whenever they were in the same room, the feeling of wholeness when he ever he was near him. Like he had finally found something he never knew he had lost. In his eyes, John simply wanted to spite him. To get him back in a way he saw fit. It was nothing like the John he knew, but it seemed the recent events had changed them all.
And Cody? When had he become so vengeful? Where did all of this hate come from? Was it from Randy? Had he caused Cody to be this way? His heart sunk a little when he realized, yes he did.
He started pacing around the room, his jaw clenching. How dare they? How dare they vilify him for his actions when they'd done just as worse out of spite. Lowering themselves in that way wasn't any better than what he'd done, and it definitely didn't excuse it.
Randy growled, punching the nearest surface in anger. He was so sick of this shit. Why couldn't things between them all be over? If they wanted him gone, why couldn't they just stay gone? Why did he have to be punished like this? Be constantly reminded of his mistakes like a scolded child. He was so sick of it all, so pissed at being pissed off, and what was worse is there was nothing he could do. John and Randy would act how they felt they should, whether they were in it together or not. That was the worst part. He'd never get peace from what he'd done. Nothing he could ever say would redeem him in their eyes.
He glared at the broken pieces of camera strewn across the floor. In another life, seeing the two of them together like that might have been his biggest wet dream. But like this it was just…it made him nauseous. The thought of the two of them touching each other like that, it made his teeth ache from grinding them so hard. Especially when he couldn't.
Had they been doing this for awhile? What, since they'd broken up with him? Was that why it seemed so easy for them? Because they had each other to go back to?
Randy's mind was racing with the possibilities. How far back did this go? Were they ever going to tell him? Calmly like rational adults as opposed to scheming little children?
He grabbed his things, shoving them into his bag forcefully.
He was done with this. He wasn't going to sit in his room with a bottle of whisky sulking like an emo teenager anymore. He was going to solve some of the numerous problems he seemed to have. First way of dealing with them? Paying a little unexpected visit to a certain young brunette's hotel room.
John wiped his palms across the tops of his jeans. When had he become such a bitch? He felt like some seventeen year-old girl waiting for her prom date. Why was he so nervous?
Cody had texted back a few minutes later, (which felt like hours) with an affirmation that, yes he would come up to his hotel room.
John tried to rationalize in the few minutes he had to himself, because fuck, nothing made sense at the moment. Shouldn't he hate Cody? Despise him even? No matter what he had agreed to the prior night, their problems did seem to begin when Cody came into the picture. But…he just, just couldn't get Cody out of his head. The feeling of that smooth tan skin underneath his fingertips, his nails scraping across John's back, the way his legs tightened around his torso when John pounded into him.
He felt like such a hypocrite. How could he ever be mad at Randy again for what he'd done when he'd fallen under Cody's spell just as easily? It may not have been love, but there was no denying the chemistry between the two of them. He knew Cody had felt it. The air in that locker room the previous night had been thick with attraction and lust, they both could feel it. In his own mind, the text he'd sent seemed as blatant as an invitation could get. And Cody agreed to come. Did that mean Cody felt the same? That he wanted John just as much? Or did he just not read into things as much as John wanted him to?
John wiped a hand across his face—fuck, now he was over-analyzing himself.
A knock sounded quietly on the door across the room, John's throat instantly drying, his heart drumming loudly in response.
He approached the door, taking a breath before reaching for the handle. He didn't get it open an inch before the door was slammed open harshly, a deep tan and flash of tattoos all he caught before he was shoved against the nearest wall.
"Where is he, John? Hmm?"
John pushed back against Randy, eyes narrowing. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
Randy paced around his room, looking under random surfaces as his eyes swept the room.
"Didn't answer my question, Johnny. He in here? What, he decided to take a shower after you guys finished fucking?"
John grabbed Randy by the wrist, stilling him, returning his glare fiercely.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I know, John."
"Know what, Randy?"
Randy growled. "Cody's not in his room, John. I checked. Gee, wonder where he could be. At nearly Three o'clock in the fucking morning."
John shook his head. "You're fucking crazy. Get out of my room."
Randy gave a bitter chuckle. "What, John? You can dish it out, just can't take it?"
John's eyes narrowed. "Get. The. Fuck. Out. Randy."
"So I'm right then?" Randy said, his mouth twisted in an ironic smile. "So how long have you two been fucking? C'mon, I wanna know Johnny."
"Back the fuck up, Randy. I'm serious." John growled, Randy stepping into his personal space.
"How'd you like him, John? Tight wasn't he? Like a virgin every time, huh?"
Randy ignored the vicious look John was giving him, the way his fists clenched together at his words. "I should know, I guess. I am the one that got to him first. Like having my seconds, John?"
Randy's head snapped to the side, John instantly trying to shake the soreness from his knuckles.
"I haven't been fucking him. And he's not here."
Randy wiped the bit of blood off of his lip, looking up into John's eyes. "Just the once then?"
John's posture was stiff, a stoic look on his face. "Yes."
Randy's face mirrored him, "That all?"
John looked away, his heart clenching for some reason. "Yes. That's it."
"And you've never even wanted to do it again? Never thought about it?"
John returned his gaze, Randy searching his face. "No."
Cody cracked his neck, sighing as a bit of tension was released. He was shocked that the lesser part of him had agreed to seeing John so easily. He had been halfway repulsed by John when he had approached him in the locker room the night before. But now, for some reason, he couldn't get the man out of his head. Maybe it was the way he had dominated him, had practically fucked him through a wall, had made him want it, crave it, by the end, but he couldn't avoid the feelings coursing through his veins. He wanted John again. No matter what.
He parked his car in the hotel's lot, grabbing the bottles of liquor he'd gone out to purchase. What better way to rid himself of those lingering questions then by searching for the answers at the bottom of a bottle of JD. He leaned against the car door, balancing the bottles on the roof of his car, while he in his pocket to retrieve his phone. He sent a quick text to John, explaining what had taken him so long, promising to be up in a bit.
Both John's and Randy's heads snapped to the bedside table when John's phone sounded, the shrill tone breaking through the tense atmosphere of the room.
They locked eyes, Randy throwing himself across the bed, moving quicker and snatching the phone off of the table.
"Hmm. Let's see," Randy righted himself, circling John, a mocking tone to his voice. "Oh, it's from Cody. Huh, weird. 'John. Went to get booze. Be up in a bit. Leave the door open for me.'"
Randy circled back around, facing John. "Huh. I wonder why Cody would be coming to visit you, John. With booze no less. Seems like a bit of a social call I'd say."
John shook his head, walking towards the door.
"Where ya' going John? Oh. Just going to meet Cody at the door? Always a gentleman."
John opened the door, gesturing to the hallway. "Go, Randy. Just leave."
Randy gave a weak chuckle. "Could always read you like a book, John. Even when you wanted anything but." Randy walked over to the chair leaning against the wall, stretching his arms across the back, picture of ease.
"So what drew you to young Cody, John? Was it the lisp? The lisp is a personal favorite of mine. Doesn't make a difference in blow jobs, which I found surprising—"
"Why are you doing this?" John leaned against the open door, a weary look on his face.
Randy sat up. "Why not? The irony's pretty crazy, huh? I'm the worst person on the fucking planet after what happened with Cody, and now you want to fuck him through the bed. I mean, you've fallen head over heels for him. It's beautiful really."
"So what if I do? What if I did? It doesn't matter, Randy!" John crossed the room to him, "What we did was because of you. Because of all the hurt you caused—"
"Oh, believe me. I know!" Randy jumped to his feet. "Both of you have never ceased to remind me of what I've done. I'll always remember, John. And I'll always feel like a piece of shit because of it."
His chest was heaving, his voice coming out in a rush. "So don't you dare try to use that as excuse! If you want to be with him, at least have the fucking balls to tell it to my face instead of this sneaking shit. Texting each other like teenagers. At least have enough respect for me to do that."
"Why should I? I owe nothing to you, Randy. If I want to fuck him, I can. If I want to fucking marry him, I can. I have nothing to do with you anymore, Randy. I can fuck whoever I want!
John bit off his reply, head turning as he heard someone approach. Cody walked towards him, about to offer a greeting before seeing Randy standing across the room. His face fell before turning up in annoyance. Randy looked on, face unreadable. Cody shook his head, thrusting the bag of alcohol in John's arms.
"I'm not dealing with this. Call me when you're done."
He turned to leave, smiling to himself as he turned back to John, arm reaching behind his head, pulling him close to him, capturing his lips in a kiss. He couldn't help the slight smirk that slipped through at the sight of Randy clenching his fists in the corner of his eyes. He pulled back, pleased at John's dazed look, turning towards the door. He adjusted himself, calling over his shoulder.
"Nice to see you, Randy."
A/N from Jessica: Bitchy Cody for the fucking win dude. Damn, i love him. Oh, and dudes. i saw myself Randy's dvd earlier today. (illegally too. im so bad.) anyway, its totally awesome. loved it. even the bits with Randy's family and Samantha. OMG shock right? Unpopular opinion time, but i don't really mind it. (am i making it too real for you guys by bringing up his family? lol) Don't stone the writer. Just sayin. Anyway, you should all definitely see it. Whether you buy it next month or view it like the rest of us pirates.
Laters. Review! Cause' you totally should!