August 26, 2006

I made my way to the tree line, my body trembling as the wolf inside tried to break free.

"Jake, stop," she called after me, but I couldn't bring myself to turn back.

She had broken my heart, and this time...this time there was no coming back from it. There wasn't anything she could say or anything she could do. There was never going to be a chance for Bella and I, and now I finally saw that. First, with the leech, and now, with my best friend.

Out of all people she could have run to she chose him, Embry.

I knew she needed me, but there were only so many times you could allow someone to deliver a low blow before you crumbled. This was me crumbling. This was me falling to pieces without hurting her in return.

Well, not as much as she had hurt me. She would hurt, and she would cry, but she would never know a fraction of the pain she had caused me. I broke for Bella every damn time she needed something. It was all or nothing for her.

Now, I was choosing nothing. She could let Embry save her. I just hoped he could save her from herself.

I hit the tree line and phased, allowing the wolf to take over, still aware of Bella running after me, pleading with me to come back to her. I stretched my limbs, reveling in the feel of the beast. Leaning back on my hind legs, I let out a deep howl. It was deafening and never-ending, but howling was the only way I could release some of the hurt, a tiny fissure of pain inflicted on me by the only girl I had ever loved.

There was a small part inside me that wanted to run to her and take the emotional beating she dished unknowingly, but a greater part, the wolf, wouldn't let me go to her. Bella was my past, and that's exactly where she would stay.