Britannian Idiot, American Idiot.

Act I. Better Off If You Weren't You

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Meeting from 12:00 PM- 2:30 PM

The World Conference Center, Day 1- Open

"No! No! No! How many times must I have to tell you?"

There is always some kind of problem that happens at one place at one time. All in all that simply means the world has issues and the countries within the world have issues and the people within those countries have issues as well. To sum it up— Life is a pain in the ass.

"Maybe six or seven more times until I space out—don't want to be here when you start lecturing me."

Surely there are times when situations are peaceful? Not everyone is burdened with life's attitude problem.

"I beg your pardon? What did you just say to me?"

Although those who ask that will be proved wrong. There will always be problems that will be at our unwillingness and inconvenience to deal with.

"Oh can't hear me in your old age? Or are you just stupid and can't understand my awesome language? Lemme dumb it down for you—I'll talk loud so you can hear!"

But there are some good times..? There are times when everything is in perfect harmony is there not?

"First of all you're always bloody loud! Secondly I am not old! Third you're an idiot! It's my language—hence England, English! Get it through your fat head!"

No, by the looks of it, there's not.

Why must everything be so difficult? Why must people be so hard to deal with? If only they were different. If only they were someone else; someone like— "America! You are completely insufferable! Grow up for once will you?" Growled England, his gaze was violently pointed towards the American who happens to be fiddling with his pen ignoring the sentences coming out of England's lips.

England and America are fighting again.

Just a typical world conference day. This one just so happens to grace its presence in London, England with non other that England himself to lead. Things can't get any worse than what's been happening already. Today was the start of a five day long conference with the meeting kicking off with the US and UK bickering. Yup, things couldn't possible get worse than what already is now.

This meeting was fortunate enough to only go through petty arguing so far— needless to say being unknowing of what the rest of the day will be not to mention the next four days along with it. Better watch out for flying objects, then things would really have reached a new level of bad.

This is day one of the World Conference in London.

"I told you to wait your turn to talk! Stop interrupting me when I speak—the world does not revolve around your fat arse!" England's face heated up in fury with it coloring his cheeks in red. He was standing at the front of the room bending over on the table with his hands pushed down on its surface indicating he had slammed them both there in anger.

Emerald eyes glared violently at averting sapphire ones. America who was seated a few chairs down from where England stood rolled his eyes trying to not listen to anything the elder had to say; kind of hard to do considering how England was yelling.

"Dude chill! I was only trying to 'voice my opinion'. Isn't that what you said before?" He smirked at the fuming Briton with a smile that said 'Ha! Gotcha!'.

Rolling his eyes in return, England scowled at the American. "Yes I did, but that doesn't give you the impudence to speak over me! Especially, when I'm trying to explain all the matters we need to discuss!"

Sighing he stood up straight taking his hands to his sides and faced at the chalkboard behind him. Taking a piece of chalk, he began to write down the topics and issues for each, going over the main points to everyone aloud.

As England went on talking about the growth in population and international trade, America slumped down slightly in his seat. He groaned way too loud for his own good letting the other countries know it was on purpose to annoy England.

They all knew it was going to cause another problem— better write this one down on the chalkboard too.

It's amazing how all the other nations managed to stay quiet through the whole episode. Knowing some of them, they wouldn't hesitate to jump into the fight; some trying to stop the fight, some to join in and make bigger the problem just for the hell of it.

Though they did recently step out from a long plane ride to arrive at the United Kingdom; hint hint—jetlag. So none of them felt like saying or doing anything at the moment hoping for time to fly by, but of course that wasn't going to happen seeing how the condition is now.

England had ignored America's little groan for attention and continued to write bullet points on the board and explain each one of them. He tapped the chalk several times to add emphasis on the point that read 'Nation Relations'.

"Our next order of business will be this one." England tapped the piece of chalk on the board a few more times to make sure he had everyone's attention. Well, almost everyone; America still looked around everywhere but the board, though for some reason, he was listening.

"Now pay attention, this is an important topic. If we ever want to solve anything we first off need to work well with one another and not look for ways to irritate the hell out of each other!" England said sternly. Something told America that that was heavily aimed towards him. He pouted and slumped down deeper in his seat.

This was going to be a long day.

Everyone started to gather their things, ready to get up and get out of the room back to their hotels they were staying at for the next few days.

America hadn't noticed that he had put all his papers, unused notebook, and abused pen in his case rather roughly. He was the first to get all his papers into his binder and belongings into his Marvel sticker covered briefcase.

"America-san, are you well?" Japan asked startling America, making him jump. "Woah! Jeez you scared me!" America didn't hear Japan walking up to him. He took a deep breath to calm his rattled self.

America grinned widely at the concerned Japanese man, "Yup! No problemo here!" Spain heard the misuse of his language, but shrugged it off; walking out with the Italian brothers who began to fight about who gets to drive.

"I'm feeling fine, don't worry bout it!" America's big grin soon changed into a slight pout, "But I sure wish England would lighten up. Jeez he's such a pain to deal with." The both turned to look at England who was erasing the chalkboard.

Japan turned his face back at America who also looked back, "But America-san... you were the one who started the fight by speaking out of turn." Japan mentioned to earlier events that occurred about an hour before.

"Yeah but he didn't have to get all worked up about it. I did it like what—once? Twice? Three times tops! Seriously he should be more laid back and not so uptight about everything! He should be more like me! Awesome and easy going!" America pounded a fist lightly at his chest to point to himself proudly.

"Ah mon ami if only that were the case." France said walking over to the two in the most dramatic way possible; the use of his hand to toss aside some hair, the slight sway of his hips, a romantic smirk formed on his lips. Who was he trying to pick up anyway? No one, it was for kicks.

"But of course, it is not mon pet. That is just how he is." The Frenchman said sighing.

America sighed along with him, "He should really change the way he runs these things. I mean really! It's so lame! He should add a little more—oh I dunno, fun? Then we would listen and I wouldn't have to make any comments to make things more interesting!" softly yelled by America within the group to not have England hear, but didn't realize exactly how loud his voice actually was.

Still erasing the board for anymore chalk marks even though the whole chalkboard was wiped clean already, England continued to listen to the conversation the group of countries were having acting as if he didn't hear them and was too preoccupied with cleaning the clean board. Ah mon ami If only that were the case... England growled in his mind wiping the board fiercely. Yes if only he didn't hear them was and was too focused on cleaning the board—If only that were the case.

"Oui, I have to agree with you. Even though you talk nonstop about unimportant things and we complain about everything you talk about. Although that just proves we are all paying attention." Coincided France, nodding his head in agreement.

America grabbed his briefcase by the handle from off the table and shook his head in disappointment of everything. "If only he was—you know, different. Then things would go a whole lot better! If he were, then I probably wouldn't have started the whole Revolutionary! Hell I would be his 'little colony' again if he was different!" He was serious. "That would totally make my day!" America was dead serious.

The three nations began to walk out and continued talking while England kept wiping the chalkboard, but slowly and sadly this time. England set down the eraser, turning his head to look around to see if everyone had left. They all had. He sighed and went to the table to pick up his things.

So he would have stayed with me if I were different..? England pondered on the thought in dismal while unconsciously and clumsily putting away notes and documents into his three-ring binder causing a few sheets of paper to fall to the ground. England sighed again and decided to leave them on the floor; it was probably just useless reports he had printed too many of from his computer and just left it all in his binder.

After he had gathered all his belongings, he shoved his binder into his briefcase and slowly walked out the door, taking his keys out and heading to his car.

Would he be happier if I were different..?

The World Conference Center, Day 1- Closed


The Next Day...

"England I don't want to eat it! It's gross!" Whined Sealand from across the kitchen. He jumped up and down to prove his point and have his point taken seriously or else he'll scruff up the floors.

"No use in complaining there lad." England responded at the stove stirring into a pot filled with whoknowswhat unfazed by Sealand's constant whining and jumping. "You're going to have to eat it whether you like it or not. You want to grow to be a country don't you?" He glanced over to Sealand who was pouting then turned back to his cooking, having said term used very lightly.

"Aw England I am too a country! A real one!" He whined some more, "You're such a meanie to me!" The younger sibling grumbled while stomping around the kitchen with his hands flailing in the air, to his sides, then back into the air again.

England sighed. He let go of the ladle he was using to stir and pinched the bridge of his nose, with his other hand on his hip. "I'm not mean; I just want to make sure you're not just stuffing your face with sweets. You need a well balanced diet to grow nonetheless. And you'll lose all your teeth from the many cavities you would receive."

Sealand covered his ear with his hands to try to not hear what England had to say and continued to stomp around. "La la la! I can't hear you!"

England sighed again; he was doing that a lot lately; sighing, dropping his hand from his face onto his hip alike with his other hand and stood looking over his creation in the pot. He lifted his arm and reached to the side to grab some more ingredients that lay on the counter while still looking in the pot.

His hand searched for basil, rosemary, and cabbage, but he felt none of those on the table. He knew his facts with different types of ingredients, spices and such, so he knew what each would feel, smell, and taste like. Putting them all together was a different story, but he really did know his stuff with food parts individually.

When his hand felt nothing he needed, England turned his head to see if he had missed them—they were perhaps somewhere else on the countertop he hadn't felt around while searching.

Unfortunately, there was no basil, or rosemary, or cabbage on the counter—time to go grocery shopping. England turned off the stove and faced Sealand who stopped stomping around and had his arms down to his sides again. "I'm going out to the store to buy some things for dinner tonight. Do you want anything?"

"Chocolate! The Cadbury brand!" Sealand squeaked happily.

England chuckled shaking his head. He patted Sealand's head, "I already told you sweets will give you cavities."

"Aw! That's not fair!" Sealand whined turning around to not face England, "You're such a meanie England!"

Chuckling again England started for the front door picking up his car keys and wallet along the way with cell phone was already in his pocket. He turned around to look at Sealand who was still turned the other way. He smiled caringly even though he knew his little brother wasn't looking, "I'll be back shortly. Don't wait up!"

He opened the door to step out and closing and locking it behind him. England got into his car putting in the keys and starting the engine. He drove off to the store.


Allo Allo everybody! This would have to be the fourth fic I started and the third I actually put up here. :P I really hope this one goes faster than my other Hetalia fic, which is being worked on don't worry! I needed a change of pace!

This story just popped up in my head while I was writing my other ones. (I was trying really hard to finish, but the old fics just kept going and going—I got tired, but I'm almost done! ^_^ So my first story, the other Hetalia one, will be up soon! And two new chapters will be put in on the next update of that story! )

Actually this fic was supposed to be funny and crack and stuff, but it became way too angsty for my tastes of this story... o.o so yeah it's not humorous or anything, maybe— if you look real hard, but don't hurt yourself.

Well, I hope you like it so far!

Empower me with reviews so I won't keel over! I'm not joking!

I actually have the next three chapters done for this one but .REVIEWS. O.O

Read and Review pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaase! :DDD I loves you all!