*shame* What can I say? What excuses do I have? "I've been away." Riiiight.

Or maybe it's because I've spent the last month and a half creating some amazing, mind-blowing masterpiece. You tell me.

One more chapter to go…

"Siberia," Alek said. The word slipped cold and hard from his tongue, as forbidding as the landscape passing below.*

1. If Goliath was a musical:

The screen is black, but a disembodied voice can be heard.

ALEK: Siberia.

Fade in from black. A bathroom can be seen, and ALEK is staring at the mirror. The camera pans from a side view so that it is focused on the mirror with his reflection staring at the camera.

ALEK: (enunciating) Si-ber-ia.

He takes a deep breath.

ALEK: (opera-style) Siiii-beeer-iaaaaaaaa!

ALEK's voice goes higher in pitch, until it reaches two octaves above the original note. OTHER CREWMEN harmonize with him as an orchestra also joins in. The music crescendos, then cuts off as the words "Scott Westerfeld's GOLIATH" appear. Cut to black.

2. If Goliath was a children's television show designed to teach them German called "Guten tag, Alek!":

Theme song plays.

Cut to title: In large block letters are the words "Guten tag, Alek! (Officially known as Prince Aleksandar von Hohenburg, who may or may not be an archduke depending on the new pope and this scroll thing but it's a secret so shhh!)" against a background of a blue sky with fluffy clouds and flying whales. At the bottom of the screen are Alek and company, in chibi form.

Cut to Alek, smiling and waving at the screen.

ALEK: Hi, kids! Today we're going to Siberia!

He wraps his arms around his arms and shivers, making an unhappy face.

ALEK: It's really kälte there. Can you say " kälte"?

3. If Goliath was a book—wait, it is. Oops. Never mind. Heh.

This is getting awkward. Please stop staring at me.

The real reason is because it's summer, and to me, summer = sit in bed, eat ramen noodles, and watch Fullmetal Alchemist all day. Fuuuun.

This was supposed to be longer, but…I got sidetracked too much, so this is what you've got. I hoped that because Hurricane Irene killed our cable, I would be able to focus on this, but…no.

On the bright side, the September picture reveal is captioned "The walker shoots Deryn." Seriously.

*First line of Goliath