I don't blame you.
I know that sounds like an odd way to begin a letter, especially for the reader, who has no idea who I am. You'll probably never know who I am, but that's okay. I know you and that's enough. For now, anyway.
I'm sure you find this letter peculiar, but I know you're still reading. Your curiosity always did get the better of you. In a good way, of course.
I'm also sure you're wondering who I am. I can't actually tell you that, as much as I wish I could. It would cause a lot of problems for both of us. Suffice to say, I am and will always be a friend.
This letter is likely going to end up as ramblings, no matter how hard I try to shove the parts around into some haphazard sequence or order. There's no real way to organize what I have to say without making myself sound bonkers, but I can try my best.
But as I said before, I don't blame you. There aren't a lot of people who understand what exactly it is that you do. Most of them are looking from the wrong end of things and see only the bad instead of the good. They see what's left behind, not what's going to come of it. It's sad, that people let their anger rule them that way. You always do your best, which is more than I can say for some people. I admire that trait, actually.
You see, I know you. That sounds strange having never met me before, but I do. I know you very well. Not perfectly, of course; you still have a few faces left to go. Now I'm sure you're wondering how I know that.
I know a lot of things. I know that you save people. I know that you fly around the universe in a blue box that's bigger on the inside. I know that you are the last of your kind, now that the Master is gone again. I know that you mourn all loss of life, no matter the source. I also know that not being able to save someone from death is the worst part of your life, according to you. You hate it, almost as much as you hate yourself. And no matter your admonishments to the contrary, I know that although you can't let yourself, what you want the most is to die; properly die and not regenerate into a new man.
But you don't let yourself. More than anything else, I know why. You can't let yourself die because there is always one more to save. One child, one parent, one city, one moon, one planet, one galaxy. One universe. That speaks of more courage than most can comprehend.
I know you're shaking your head now, trying to tell me that I'm wrong. But I'm not.
Because sometimes, you think a Time Lord lives too long. And sometimes, you think you're getting old. But you think that protecting the universe is the only way to make up for the people you couldn't save. You know that you can't shape the universe to your own design and I understand that too. I understand that there are ones that have to die. But like you, I don't have to like it.
Before you, I didn't know that I didn't have to fight. Fighting was a normal thing: brother-sister arguments, fist fights, knife brawls, guns and war. I don't like fighting, but I never realized I just didn't have to.
But now I know. I know that I don't have to fight. We don't have to fight. We don't have to do this anymore. But I can't make everyone else understand that, as much as I wish I could. I don't have the power or the means to do it. Everyone listens to you because you're the Doctor; they submit to your experience once they realize what's going on. I'm just one person, someone who is tossed aside by those who want to fight.
I wish I could make them understand. I really do. They don't realize there is more to life than dying.
But we do. We understand, those of us who know you almost as well as you know yourself. There are so many of us. We accept your ideology as our own. We help, we save, and we don't fight.
My world doesn't have you in it. So we take that position in your name, to make this world a better place to live. We look to you as our Hero, someone to emulate and admire. We refuse to let the strong trample the weak. We understand that all life is precious. We stand tall, seeing all people in the same light, that no one is greater than anyone else, and every person is important.
We cannot travel through time, but we can take the slow path, rescuing people along the way and making a difference on this planet.
We are the Doctor in your stead.
Your #1 Fans