Chapter 1: Close the door
"So i guess this is it, then." Adam stood in the middle of the motel, suitcase in one hand, jacket draped over the other. Tommy was leaning on the door frame, his fingers gripped around the wood, his eyes watching Adam, attempting to hide the sadness dwelling in them. He didn't say anything, just nodded slightly. Adam's face curled into a smile as he dropped the suitcase and stretched out his arms. "Do i get a hug?" he asked, his head tilting to the side and his mouth pouting in question. Tommy moved slowly before falling into the hug, pressing his body against Adam's and wrapping his arms around Adam's waist. He remained silent as he felt Adam's hands move reassuringly up and down his back, as he planted soft kisses on his head.
Adam pulled Tommy away for a moment, one hand still resting on his back, the other moving to Tommy's cheek as he trailed his thumb along his cheekbone gently. "Its been fun" he stated, still smiling but now in a way to try and get Tommy to smile too. It worked - you could've blinked and missed it, but the sides of Tommy's mouth twitched upwards for a brief second.
"Yeah" Tommy agreed, the word coming out in a breath he didn't know he had been holding in. He was choking up and he coughed slightly to disguise it, hoping Adam wouldn't realize.
Adam ran a hand through Tommy's blonde hair and kissed him again. He pulled away and stared into Tommy's eyes for a second - as if savoring the moment. He finally pulled his gaze away and reached for his suitcase - slowly dragging it towards the door. "See ya in a couple of weeks, TommyJoe" he called back as he opened the door.
Tommy found the familiar door frame and adjusted himself back into the leaning position he had started in, his arms folded awkwardly. He lifted a hand and waved slightly, forcing out a smile. "Have fun in Paris" he shouted in what he hoped was an i'm-happy-for-you tone. Adam turned back and smiled at him - that same beautiful smile Tommy knew and loved. But a smile that also showed that Adam was completely and utterly happy at that moment and excited about his Paris adventures….whereas Tommy was hating watching him walk out that door.
The door shut with a soft thud and Tommy was left standing alone in the motel room.
The tour was over - (well all but the two LA show in a couple of weeks) - but the life that Tommy had known for the last 6 months was officially done. Touring the world with what had become an extension of his family - Isaac, Sasha, Monte, Taylor, Terrance, Brooke and Cam, all the late night parties, the overseas mischief, the time that the race track outside their windows had kept the whole crew up in Singapore, the time that Tommy had lost his passport, all the little onstage muck-ups they had all laughed about over some drinks after the shows, the countless inside jokes, the friendships, the fans, the experiences, the craziness….and then of course….there was Adam.
It was hard to believe that Tommy had only known Adam for just under a year. They'd clicked from day one - their love for glamrock, their humor, their personalities. They were just always totally in tune with each other, both onstage and off. They'd built such a solid friendship and over all the time away from home - all the tough times and all the great times - that friendship had blossomed into something a little more. Which Tommy had never quite understood, because he was a straight dude….until it came to Adam.
It had all started in Japan. They'd had a few drinks, a lot of laughs, played some drinking games that Taylor had been given for his birthday, and somehow, by the end of the night, Tommy had been sitting in Adam's lap, the exchange of kissing becoming more frequent - and suddenly it wasn't all for fan service because at the time, there were certainly no fans around. Then as the tour had progressed, the lap had turned to a bed that they had shared, and everyone in the band knew about it…. But noone really said anything. Even Adam and Tommy never really said anything. The fact just became that they would hang out together a lot more than anyone else did in the band, and when it came to booking motels, there was always a shared room for Adam and Tommy.
Was it love? Well maybe, but nobody had ever asked that. It was what it was. Fun and games and comfort when one of them needed it, a shoulder to cry on, someone to whinge to, someone to keep the other warm at night.
There was only ever one time that the question had been raised by someone other than a fan, and that was when Monte had been drunk. He had slurred his words together and asked with a chuckle and a beer in his hand, "So whadsthedeal with you two, eh?", and Tommy had stayed quiet while Adam had laughed it off, waved his hand and replied "Its just a bit of fun. Just getting into character." And maybe it was. But Tommy didn't dare question it for fear that it could all slip away. He just needed someone to care for him, someone to be there and someone to laugh with - and Adam was it. At least for this tour.
But now it was over. GlamNation done. The tour bus was packed up (not without everyone scratching their names into the wooden bunks before they locked up for the last time), the full stage setup on its way back to the States, the end-of-tour parties had already begun starting at an insane London bar last night, and now Adam was off to catch a plane to Paris to do promo work while Tommy and the rest of the crew were all booked on a flight back to LA in a few hours.
This was it. The fun and games was over.
Now it was thinking time. That unwelcome sudden snap back to reality as Tommy realized that Adam wouldn't be around 24/7 anymore, instead he'd be promoting new stuff, back to interviews and photoshoots, working on a new album - which he didn't need his bass player around for. He'd probably find some pretty french boy to fall in love with and bring him back to LA.
Tommy hated LA. He hated the thought of going back there. Sure, he missed his flatmates and his friends. He'd flown back there briefly mid tour for his Dad's funeral - but home for him was on the road with this band, with what had been dubbed his 'glamily'. But his life back in LA wasn't friend filled with social bookings through the roof, with paparazzi following him around everywhere - his life wasn't Adam's. He wouldn't go home and hit every club with half of LA tagging along…in fact, Tommy would probably go home, curl up in his flat with Dave and Mike and watch a marathon of M*A*S*H or watch a truck load of horror movies.
It suddenly struck him that come LA, Adam would probably be too tied up with his real friends to want to hang out with Tommy. Too many calendar dates already booked. Tommy wondered if maybe he should've scrawled himself a booking in Adam's diary for a beer or something one day. But he hadn't.
It was 2weeks until JingleBall -the next time the whole band (except the dancers) would be altogether onstage again. 14 days. A LONG time before Tommy would see everyone again - most importantly, a long time before he would see Adam again. And even after that, there were only 2 LA shows remaining before they would shut the door on GlamNation forever. 2010 tour done and dusted. This crazy whirlwind that had struck Tommy's life would soon turn to dust. Give it a few months, he thought, the fans would probably forget all about the blonde bassist who kissed Adam onstage when Fever played - even if he was selected for the next tour, would Adam even keep Fever on the setlist when the new album came out? -, the guy whose tongue was famous for the AMA's, the 'prettykitty' who headbanged until he was dizzy in his much-too-high creepers every night.
The bright lights of the stage would fade and soon enough, TommyJoe would be a distant memory. He would be back home in Burbank, and nobody would even notice him.
But Tommy didn't want it to be over. He didn't want the goodbyes. He didn't want to go back to his boring, quiet LA life. And in his heart he knew that with the tour done and dusted….maybe that meant him and Adam were done forever too.
And above all the things that he didn't want to be over….Adam was top of the list.