Title: Hello Kitty
Authors: Vesper (Regina) and Dama De Honor
Warnings: (skip) A startling lack of clothing in the characters.
Category: Humor, Gen
Characters: Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor
Summary: The Doctor and Donna fiddle with a machine that causes an unexpected transformation. 1233 words.
Archival: If you wish to archive, please link to my website. Please keep all my headers intact.
Notes: Chat-fic (ha-ha, chat), by me and my sister last year, edited so extensively we can no longer tell who wrote what.


The purple smoke curled away in tendrils and Donna coughed and squinted through it. She lay still, not quite certain she should move after that explosion. Besides, she didn't know if...

"Doctor? Doctor, are you all right?"

A faint sound. Donna shook her head and stuck a pinky in her ear, twisting it around in an effort to get rid of the ringing, sure that she'd heard incorrectly.

The sound again, quite a bit stronger, and definitely, unmistakeably...feline?

"Doctor?"

"Meow!"

There, two feet away from her, on the granite floor, sat a small tabby cat.

Donna softly thumped her head against the floor.

A paw batted at her hair and she turned her head. A questioning "Mrrroow?" came from the jaws of the cat. Donna returned to thumping her head against the floor, this time moaning, "Why, why, why?" She looked at the cat again, and said, point-blank, "You're a cat, aren't you."

The cat said, "Mreow."

"Oh, oh, all right, hold on pretty boy," Donna said, with a sigh, and got to her feet.

She picked up the cat-Doctor-and glanced around, hoping something would pop out at her. "You're still nothing but bones. Look at it this way," she rambled on, still looking around for some way to fix this, "Maybe I can fatten you up if you stay-"

On the floor, beside a familiar trenchcoat and brown suit, was the Doctor's sonic doohikey. "Mreoooww."

She glanced at the cat, remembering he was the Doctor. "Right, that might work. Let me just-" She started to bend over to get it, one hand still around the cat-

"Oowww-mrrooow!"

A short hiss, and the cat was across the room, and Donna was nursing her wounds. "Did you have to scratch me? Really!"

"Meow."

She eyed the Doctor, then scooped up the sonic screwdriver and went to see if it would do any good. "I'm warning you, I'll have your nails clipped if you try anything again."

The cat-The Doctor!-she reminded herself again-stalked past her, tail high in the air and jumped with lithe grace onto a console. It was the twin of the one he'd been examining short minutes before, all gray metal wires coiled and twisted into a stalk, topped with a dull domed surface that looked as if it had once been shiny. It was oddly reminiscent of a mushroom, Donna thought. A mushroom with buttons and levers. A mushroom with buttons and levers that was maroon. She closed her eyes and sighed. Bad enough they'd been shoved in this room. Bad enough that they had no idea if the ones who'd shoved them in here were coming back or not. Worse that they hadn't seen any way of leaving and that tinkering with a metal mushroom had resulted in a shower of sparks and a purple cloud of smoke and a-

"Mrrrrrieouw."

Right.

"Yes, Doctor?"

The Doctor walked across the panels, the tip of his tail twitching, but still straight. Figures, she thought. Still as arrogant as ever, friggin' Time Lord. She felt the need to hide her smirk for some reason, but was distracted by his batting at her arm with a paw. She looked, and saw him pat a certain red... well, to be precise, magenta wire, and started to nod.

"Gotcha," she said, and leaned over it and turned on the sonic. A few minutes later, the mushroom disappeared back into the panel, and the doctor pranced-well, there wasn't another way to put it-across the keys and then everything went dark.

She blinked, realized she was covered in cloth and tried to work her way out of it.

"Ah, there you are, Donna. Sorry about that. I'll have you fixed in a jiffy."

The cloth was pulled away from her eyes, and she found herself staring into his eyes. He said, "You'll be relieved to know you've kept your lovely ginger coloring."

She tried to say, "Oh my God, what-" and stopped at the sound of the awful, death-yowl that emerged.

He said, "Now don't give me that look," and straightened up. She let out a startled screech at his lack of clothing and shot her eyes down to his feet.

She narrowed her eyes, and thought hard at the man, 'Oi, spaceman, you better right this quick or I'm gonna scratch a few things before you put your knickers back on.'

"That's the spirit," he said and walked away from her, to the machine.

She spat a hiss at him and stalked away, out of her too-big clothes. More to not have to look at anything, um, dangly, than to preserve her own dignity, although that was a darn good plus.

She heard, "Donna..." from behind her and the sudden thought that she shouldn't even be able to understand him at all went through her mind.

She sat down and curled her tail around her legs. Might as well make the best of this. She refused to turn around, though.

"All right, give me the cold shoulder," the Doctor said, not sounding the least put out, well, maybe a little...she growled low in her chest, at herself. She turned around, looking at the floor, and said, "Mrrow."

She snuck a quick look up and noticed, gratefully, that he'd at least put his pants on. He was smiling.

He said, "All right then, let's get ourselves out of this mess, what do you say?"

'Whatever you say, Doctor,' she thought.

"Multo bene! That's what I like to hear, Donna."

'Oi! How'd you do that? Are you inside my head?' She hissed and came over to swat at the back of his ankles, while he switched on his little doohikey and started messing with the console.

She lowered her ears at the highpitched whistling the sonic device emitted and retreated to the corner again. 'Wow! How do you stand that?'

"Nothing to it!"

Donna blinked at the blank wall in front of her and turned around. "Wait, how'd...?"

The Doctor turned and grinned. "Ready to go sink your claws into some dastardly villains?"

Donna, a little panicked, checked to see if she still had claws. She turned around, curling into herself a little. "Oh, my God! Don't look at me! No, hand me my clothes!"

"Which is it, first or last?"

"No! No, no, no, no. Just-"

"I didn't see a thing." Her clothes slapped against her back, and she snuck a quick look to make sure he was being a perfect gentleman. He had his back turned to her. She untangled her pants and shirt and underthings and put them on as quick as she could.

"Decent," she said, as she finished pulling her shirt over her head.

"Here are your shoes."

He handed them to her and she slipped them on, hopping, her face suddenly burning. But the Doctor wasn't paying attention to that, as he was already trying to open the door with his screwdriver.

She smacked his arm, just because, as she came up close to him.

Instead of saying 'ow', he smirked at her. "Rrow."

"Spaceman, you better not tell a livin' soul, so help me-!"

"Your secret's safe with me, Noble cat," he vowed, and the door slid open with a "whoosh!"

Before she could react or ask what he meant, he winked at her and started down the corridor at top speed, and she was forced to run after to catch up.

End.