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Chapter Five


It was everything I had dreamed about since she had left all those years ago. Sure we'd had sex recently, but it was her way of saying goodbye. This was her wanting me… her choosing me. However, as much as I wanted her in my bed again, I wanted her in my life permanently even more. If I slept with her right then, she would overthink things and run like a bat out of hell. Not to mention the fact that she had no idea that I knew she wasn't engaged, and I could just see that all sorts of blowing up in my face.

"Bella, baby…" I groaned as she shifted her weight, making her rub against my extremely hard pecker.

Focus, Paul!

"Baby, seriously, as much as I want to take you up to our room, because it will be ours. But I know you. And if we do this… you're going to regret it. Not to mention, what would Emmett think about this?" That seemed to sober her up real quick. Just like I knew it would. I really just wanted her to tell the truth so we could move past it.

"I have to tell you something." She slid down my body and immediately began fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"So tell me." I stroked her cheek and gently kissed her forehead, urging her on.

"Em isn't my fiancé. He's not even my boyfriend. We're just really good friends." I nodded. Did I tell her that I already knew? As pissed as I knew she was going to be, I couldn't build anything with her with any secrets hanging over our heads.

"I know." Her eyes blazed as they shot up to meet mine.

"I met Rosalie." Bella rolled her eyes and muttered "I should have known".

"So, all that understanding bullshit, was just what?"

"It was just a way to get you to see past who I was. And really, baby, if I was still the same guy would I even be telling you this? I could have kept quiet, but I don't want any secrets between us. I want to show you that I'll never keep anything from you again, even if it hurts." She looked up, her eyes seemingly appraising me for signs of lying but I knew she'd find none.

"So, you must have been having a blast at the diner then, huh?" She asked sarcastically.

"Baby, if you think that I enjoyed seeing another man with his hands on you, under any circumstances, then you are sadly mistaken. I still wanted to rip his arms off, even if I did like the big fucker." A small smile graced her full lips.

"So, why did you stop me?" I could see the rejection on her face and I had to put a stop to that shit.

"Don't think for one fucking second that I don't want you with every fiber of my being! But I can't handle waking up to you running away again. I may be a bastard, but I'm a bastard that loves you more than my own life! That fucking hurt, Bella." I could see the apology swimming in her eyes.

"Before you say anything, Bella, I know that I deserve every bit of pain I've felt because what I did to you… it was beyond fucked up. And I deserve it if you never give me another chance, but dammit, I want one, and I'm going to do whatever I have to in order to get one. Even if it means blue balls for me for the next few years. Hell, I haven't had sex with anyone other than my hand since you left…"

"WHAT?" Bella's screech of surprise made me chuckle.

"Oh, yeah. No sex for me. I've been celibate." Her mouth opened and closed in complete shock.

"I told you I've been working on being better for you. Not to mention, after me being with Rachel hurt you so badly, there was no way I would ever be with anyone else. Even though you were gone, in my mind it would have been cheating on you, because I'm yours."

"Holy shit," she whispered as her breathing increased.

"Come on, baby. Let's get you sitting down." I led her to the couch and gently sat her down.

"I just assumed… I mean, before me you… you slept with a lot of women. I never thought you would… holy shit." She was so fucking adorable.

"I know what I was. But that's all in the past. Everything I have done since you left has been for you. Just like right now. I'm going against every instinct in my body to take you upstairs and ravage you because I know that you're not ready." We sat in silence just taking one another in until Bella finally spoke.

"You do realize that just makes me want you even more, right?" We both laughed at her words and I pulled her into my arms.

"That's the idea, baby." She slapped my chest playfully and we went on to talk about Rose and Emmett and their roles in her life.

From what I could gather from meeting both of them, they were total opposites and it really worked for them. Rosalie was a ball-busting, no nonsense kind of gal and Emmett was a loon who seemed like a lot of fun. Bella confirmed it with stories about the two of them and all the shit they got into. I was particularly amused by the story about Emmett finding out Rosalie was pregnant. Rosalie decided to tell Emmett while he was balls deep in her. Apparently he thought she was doing some sort of role-playing shit and didn't think another thing of it until it was time for her first ultrasound appointment and she expected him to go with her. When he realized that she was serious he just passed the fuck out. Like out cold. Bella said that Rosalie called her in a panic, thinking that she killed him. Then, of course, Bella took that the wrong way and thought they had gotten into some huge fight and that Emmett had been hurt. By the time Bella got there, Emmett was awake and trying to process things. Neither of the girls ever let him live it down apparently.

"So, what happens now?" She asked once our laughter died down.

I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. "I win you back."

I pretended not to be upset by the look of fear on her face, but it did tell me that I made the right decision about not having sex with her. Not that my body agreed with me. I just hoped she wouldn't keep me at arm's length for too long. Too much time had been wasted already.

A/N: So, even though I fail at replies, I want you all to know that I read every review and love them all! You guys are so beyond awesome, I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate every alert, favorite, and review! I know some of you are going to say that it's too soon, and others are going to stone me for cock-blocking… for the first, it isn't over yet ;) and for the others…. Sooooooooorry! I know I am a mean, evil, cock-blocking bitch, but you love me! *MUAH*

Thanks to my pre-reader and bestie, Nostalgicmiss! I love you, girl!