WARNING: BoyXBoy stuff, crackpairing, makes no sense, Kida seme, angst. lol?
Disclaimer: Do not own Durarara! at all. D:
"Whatever you do, just stay clear of Heiwajima Shizuo…"
Kida had said back then and Mikado missed how he had to fake the scared expression. Kida Masaomi wasn't scared of Heiwajima Shizuo; not of his physical strength anyways. He was afraid of seeing him again, though, and being Mikado's best friend, if Mikado didn't stay clear of him, he would end up having to see him again.
Again, yes. They've seen each other before. More aptly, they've been seeing each other for a little while before he's met Saki and all that. It was an unusual arrangement of secretly meeting, talking, cuddling, kissing and finally in the last few days, indulging in things that were nowhere even near decent. Kida didn't mind that it was like that, he knew he was underage; the man could've been arrested if anyone found out.
It worked just fine though; Kida had thought. He was happy. It wasn't the sort of smug happy someone feels when screwing good. It was the sort of happy that someone feels when having a boyfriend, a loved one they hold dear. He felt exactly like that every second of his days, when he looked forward to seeing his secret lover, when seeing him and when having parted from him he reminiscenced and looked forward to seeing him again.
It worked just fine; at least Kida had thought so. As he later found out from a text-message, it didn't.
'Sorry, can't see you anymore. /Shizuo.'
Something like that. Kida had deleted the message right after he got it, furious with how he was ditched. He didn't understand it, had he not made Shizuo happy…? He seemed happy when they were together, free of the pressuring strength and violence, free of the glares of the world, those who didn't understand his struggle. Shizuo has always said he was grateful to have a second, more proper teenagehood with Masaomi and Masaomi has always said he was happy to be serious about someone.
When they met again, it didn't end nicely.
"Shizuo!" Kida had never picked up a stupid nickname to call him by; the blonde was a MAN after all and not some little kid and surely not a girl.
He sounded just about desperate when he shouted for him and he saw Shizuo's shoulders tense and he saw that he heard but didn't turn around.
"Oi, Shizuo..!" So he ran up to him and grabbed him by the wrist. "What was that… just yesterday… you…" He wasn't making sense as the text message made no sense to him.
He was barely fifteen but he had a hurt adult's eyes. Shizuo couldn't hold that gaze it seemed. With his hands in his pockets he looked away and Kida ground his teeth as he turned his sadness into mature anger.
"You're going to just fuck it and leave it without a word then!" He snapped.
Shizuo's eyebrow twitched at the tone used with him and he growled, finally looking at him with sharp, brown eyes. Kida growled right back. They weren't adult and child, but two men to any onlooker.
"You're fifteen; I'm twenty-four, a man! You got any idea how it looks to others…?" Shizuo surprisingly kept his voice low and hushed in embarrassment as he asked that and Kida felt burning hurt anger rise in his chest.
"This isn't about me being young is it..? Well, not in that sense…" He breathed out and glared to the side instead. "…the fuck, Shizuo… just screw me then if that's what you're so sore about. I don't care about things like that."
Just come back to me.
He wanted to say that but the sweet words were stuck in his throat in the middle of the street with people walking ignorantly past them. Even now he wonders if they could have saved them, back then.
Instead, Shizuo shook his head and quickly scurried after his boss. Kida didn't watch his back because he was busy squeezing his eyes shut against the tears that started to well up. So it didn't work. And for something like that, too.
How shallow was the world to judge and ruin relationships for something that simple?
He didn't want to admit he blamed Shizuo for everything because he thought that would make the memories whose sweet aroma still lingered only bitter and dark.
So instead… Kida Masaomi wanted to stay clear of Heiwajima Shizuo at all costs.