Just got this silly little idea when my sister started doing laundry. We have very fancy appliances here and I still don't know entirely what each button is for on the washer. Lila Archer and Spencer Reid ftw.

DISCLAIMER: It's safe to assume I own nothing in this story. Not the mentioned iPad, washer and dryer set, or Criminal Minds.


It was Laundry Day, a chore that Spencer Reid didn't have to take care of often because Lila Archer apparently loved doing it. But today, she was sick in bed and had begged him to finish it up so she could have some clean clothes to lie in. With her light eyes dulled by cold medicine and a sniffle from her stuffed nose, how could he possibly say no? Even sick, she was beyond beautiful.

However now, he was standing in the room that had been designated to hold the gigantic washer and drier and he was confused as hell. There were over a dozen buttons for each machine and so many liquids and powders that Spencer very nearly admitted defeat. He pressed the on button; at least that one was obvious and started loading the dirty laundry, careful to keep anything white or super light out of the darker shades. He straightened up and glared at the machine. He was a certifiable genius, who couldn't do his girl's laundry. Something was wrong with this image.

With a sigh, he started to read each bottle of detergent and sniffed each one, finally settling on a scent that he found to be quite agreeable. He stared at the buttons and finally hit a few just to get the machine started and then walked away in humiliation. It was just the like the iPad thing… Why mess with a good thing? He nearly jumped out of his own skin when the machine let out a little song signifying the load had started.

"Dun, dun, dun, the laundry has just begun!" A crooked smile appeared on Spencer's lips as he entered their bedroom to find Lila covered by nearly all the blankets in their possession with only her head showing. He raised an eyebrow as she shrugged. "I was cold without you." She stated softly as he sat on the edge of the bed to tickle one of her feet that emerged from the self-made cocoon she was in. She giggled and then coughed and he held fast to her foot.

"Lila, when you bought the appliances for this house, did you have to make everything so damn complicated?" She nodded happily, moving the blankets to allow him to crawl in beside her.

"Is Super Spence intimidated by the big bad machine?" Lila cooed with another giggle. He shook his head fervently.

"No, I just don't understand why in this day and age, every new electronic device or appliance that comes out has to top its predecessor in some way that hasn't been done before. A singing washing machine?"

"Oh, the dryer sings too!" With a groan, Spencer placed a hand on her forehead to measure the fever she had. It was breaking, he could tell.

"Any other mysterious objects around this house that I need to get familiar with?" Lila shook her head a few times before a mischievous glint appeared in her dull eyes.

A few weeks later, Spencer was startled by a talking bath tub that responded to each little noise he made. Lila had been perched on the edge of their bed, undressing herself to join her boyfriend in the warm water when she heard a cry of surprise.

"L…Lila, it's talking to me! Oh my God it's.. No, no bubbles! Oh… Oh." He had been in the middle of protesting the bath's tricks when the soothing jets must have come on. With a smirk, Lila sauntered into the bathroom and dimmed the lights.

"Not so bad, huh, Spencer?" His head was thrown back with his hands clenching the sides of the tub. "Maybe I'll just leave you two alone." She mused softly as he opened his eyes and reached for her.

"I can see the benefits of a talking responding bath tub, but the singing washing machine is still beyond my comprehension."

"I was thinking of getting a new stove." He groaned and pulled her close to him. "Just kidding, Spencer. I hardly know my way around the one we have now." His fingers slipped from her hair to her shoulders and then disappeared below the rising level of bubbles.

"It's really quite simple, Lila, there are only a few buttons you have to push to get it going and then it takes care of itself." With a little sigh, Lila pressed her back against Spencer.

"How is it that you can make a stove sound sexy?"

"It's what I do." He answered back swiftly with a shrug.

"And you do it so well."