The Ministry of Darkness:
Chapter 1, This is only the beginning
St. Valentine's Day Massacre The Pyramid
The newly formed Ministry arrived at the Pyramid just three hours before the event was to begin, each member quietly talking among themselves as Undertaker and Paul Bearer followed close behind towards their locker room.
"Oh by the way guys...today is actually my birthday!" Said Viscera out of the blue.
"Awesome...Happy Birthday!" Bradshaw said as he looked at his buddy Farrooq, who also wished the near 500 pounder the same.
The Lord Of Darkness just rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Of course I knew all about it...and I came up with a very special surprise. You guys all head down to the locker room and I'll meet you all soon. I gotta get something from the conference room here." Mideon said as he stopped in front of a door.
The rest of the Ministry nodded and continued down the hall.
As soon as they were out of sight, Mideon walked into the conference room, pulled out a birthday cake from the fridge and placed it on the counter.
He then pulled out some paper plates and forks from the cupboard.
After that, he carefully picked up the cake and headed down to the locker room where The Undertaker was already seated on his symbol throne talking to Paul Bearer about tonight's events while The Acolytes, Brood and Viscera continued their conversations.
Mideon placed the cake down on a nearby table, put some candles on it then grabbed the Ministry's attention.
"You guys ready?"
"Ready for what?" Taker asked...dreading the answer.
Mideon answered by singing Happy Birthday which the others quickly joined in.
Viscera walked over to the table as the song ended, blowing out the candles and cutting pieces for his remaining team-mates.
"Thank you Mid." Viscera said with a mouthful of cake.
"You're welcome Vis!" Mideon answered back, giving him a great big hug with one arm.
"I think I'm going to be sick!" Taker grumbled as he finished his cake and handed the paper plate over to Paul, who threw it into a nearby garbage can.
"You obviously don't like birthdays...do you Your Evilness?" Bradshaw asked.
"NO. I don't. Birthdays like everything else in this mortal world are useless to me. I have no time to celebrate such petty nuisances. Now...if you're almost done with your cake...we have to get down to business. Tonight Brother Viscera...before the St. Valentine's Day Massacre...you will have a match against Corporate member Test on Sunday Night Heat. Tonight we begin our message to the McMahon Family. The Corporation will fall at my feet and then SHE will be mine. Viscera, you better get ready. Your match will be coming up shortly."
Viscera looked at his watch. "But it's only 5:30 Your Unholiness."
Taker looked at Paul's watch and sighed.
"Very well Viscera...but still we need to be ahead of our game."
Viscera nodded as he finished up his cake then went to get ready none the less.
After Viscera's match with Test, The Ministry gathered together for a little pep talk by their Lord of Darkness.
"Nine individual souls, combined to make one Ministry. Let it be known that on February fourteenth, Saint Valentine's Day Massacre...that the massacre they witness here tonight will be nothing like the massacre that the Ministry unleashes from here on. Brother Mideon, tonight you step into the ring with the Bossman. You will take his soul, you will weaken his body. Tonight...the power of the beyond has spoken to me. Our fate and our purpose in life begins tonight."
"And we're cut! That was good Taker." The camera guy said as he packed up his gear then quickly left.
After a moment of awkward silence, the Ministry suddenly burst out laughing.
"And what is so outrageously funny?" Undertaker asked, not showing any emotions.
"Your speech...BROTHER MIDEON?" Viscera asked, trying hard to control his laughter.
"I called you Brother Viscera earlier didn't I? You didn't laugh then."
"No...that's because it didn't phase me un...til... now!" The near 500 pounder fell backwards, curling up into a ball and holding on to his sides. "Oh God, this is killing me!"
"Alright...ALRIGHT! That's enough. My speech wasn't that funny. If anything...the way the camera guy left rather awkwardly is more funnier than what I had just said. Now...get your heads together and let's go. We have business to do."
The Ministry struggled to stop laughing as they followed their leader towards the ring.
It was time for Mideon's match up against the Bossman.
"Cell Block" blared through the arena speakers as the announcer Howard Finkle introduced the challenger.
"The following contest is scheduled for one fall...Introducing first representing the Corporation, from Cobb Country Georgia, weighing in at 297 pounds...The BIG BOSSMAN."
Bossman marched to the ring, twirling his nightstick around.
As he got into the ring, the music of Mideon began to play.
"His opponent, representing The Ministry of Darkness. Weighing 308 pounds. MIDEON."
Mideon walked out through the curtain holding a glass jar filled with formaldehyde and his new pet eyeball which was a gift from the Undertaker.
He walked around the ring towards the commentators table and placed the jar down in front of Jerry The King Lawler.
"Can you keep an eye on this for me?" Mideon asked.
"You want us to keep an eye on your eye?" Jerry asked back, unsure exactly what Mideon wanted.
He picked up the jar and looked at the floating eyeball inside before placing it down.
"Who's eye do you think that is?" Jerry asked his commentating partner Michael Cole.
"I don't even want to venture a guess...so it's Mideon against The Big Bossman." Michael answered back, trying to concentrate on the task at hand.
"AHHHHHH, IT'S LEAKING!"
"Keep it over there!"
"I think that thing just winked at me!"
The bell rang as both men stared each other down for a moment before Mideon placed Bossman in a headlock.
Bossman broke the hold by punching Mideon in the ribs before shoving him into the ropes and delivering a vicious clothesline.
Mideon quickly got back up only to have Bossman poke Mideon in the eye, causing him to stumble into the right hand corner of the ring.
Bossman then unleashed a series of right hand blows to Mideon's face and stomach until Mideon was down on the mat.
After trying to choke Mideon out with his large black boot, Bossman yelled out "THE MINISTRY SUCKS ASS!"
This then caused the crowd of spectators to chant 'Bossman Sucks' as Bossman continued his assault on Mideon.
"Kiss My Ass." Bossman told the thousands of people as he went to whip Mideon to the other side of the ring but Mideon reversed, throwing the Cobb Country law enforcer into the corner and then delivered a clothesline of his own, causing the whole ring to move.
Gaining control of the match, Mideon assaulted Bossman with a series of rights until Bossman countered with a low blow, sending the evil Soothsayer to his knees.
"And the Corporate's Head of Security taking care of business here." Michael Cole continued his commentary as Bossman threw Mideon over the top rope onto the floor.
"I'm tellin' ya, Bossman is tough. Uh-oh, he's making things even tougher." Jerry said as Bossman grabbed a steal chair from ringside.
"Bossman with a chair now outside of the ring...Mideon doesn't see it coming now he does, ducks out of the way and Bossman...that chair reverberating, vibrating in his hand and now Mideon is biting the fingers! Right hand into the steal stair as Mideon now goes to work on those hands and if Bossman isn't careful King, his eye might be in this one joining...uh...whatever it is out here."
"Who's ever eye that is...I don't know...Eye don't know."
The 'Bossman sucks' chant continued as Bossman once again regained control of the match, throwing Mideon back into the ring.
"You heard that chant that's what's confusing me Cole...I mean the Ministry gets cheered and the Corporation gets booed. I don't understand it." King said.
"The Ministry lead by the Undertaker. Of course Paul Bearer, the Acolytes, The Brood, Mideon and Viscera. You know sending the Bossman out here today perhaps Mr McMahon is hoping that his Head of security is going to prevent the Ministry from becoming too big for their bridges. That's gotta be a fear for many here in the WWE that the Undertaker's Ministry is gonna start taking on a life of it's own. It makes me wonder what in the world is the Undertaker telling these guys? Mideon, Acolytes..."
"I don't know. That's one scoop I don't wanna get. You have to get close to the whole Ministry to get that scoop and I don't wanna get that close."
Bossman held Mideon in a Full Nelson submission as the crowd voiced their opinions on this match up.
To say the least the match was getting rather BORING.
Mideon quickly countered, sending Bossman onto his back hoping to end the match right there and then.
"Desperation move by Mideon there and a cover...one...two...and Bossman gets that shoulder up. What a tremendous victory this would be for the Ministry of Darkness. It was Viscera on Sunday Night Heat and now Mideon during St. Valentine's Day Massacre...charged to go into the ring by the Undertaker and Bossman now follows it up and there's another right hand. Bossman hammering away as Mideon takes a tremendous amount of punishment."
"You know what? I hate to be either one of these guys and have to go back with the loss of this match. I hate to go back and face the Ministry or I hate to face McMahon and the Corporation."
"Nice back body drop by Mideon that time. Your right King..Mr. McMahon won't be too pleased with the Big Bossman. Imagine the Undertaker looking into your eyes after you lost the match for him?"
"Maybe that's where this eye came from...the eye of a loser!"
Bossman and Mideon continued exchanging blows until Bossman whipped Mideon into the ropes and finished with a sidewalk slam, earning him the cover and getting the count of three.
"Here is your winner, The Big Bossman!" Howard announced to the crowd of booing people.
Suddenly the Ministry showed up, surrounding the ring as the lights went out.
The bell tolled, signalling the arrival of the Lord of Darkness.
Slowly the Undertaker and Paul walked towards the ring as the Ministry quickly attacked the Bossman.
"This King is pure evil!" Cole said as Jerry the King Lawler looked on in shock.
The lights quickly came back on with the sudden move of Undertaker's hands, revealing the carnage that was being brought to McMahon's personal Law Enforcer.
Bradshaw and Christian held the Bossman down as the 500 pound Viscera pulled a splash, not once but THREE times before the whole Ministry dragged his now lifeless body out of the ring down the ramp pass the Undertaker and Paul Bearer, who immediately consoled Mideon.
"Who the hell's gonna stop them? We need the 80 second air borne in here. Bossman won the battle but he may have lost the war against the Ministry. Where are they taking him?" Michael Cole asked.
As soon as the Ministry walked through the curtain, they quickly headed towards the parking lot where a vehicle sat with the trunk wide open.
Throwing Bossman in and slamming the door shut, Mideon, Viscera, The Brood and the Acolytes all piled into the car, leaving Undertaker and Paul Bearer out.
"Now where are we going to sit guys?" Paul asked, placing his hands upon his hips.
"Here...Your Unholiness, you can sit on my lap, Paul you can sit on Viscera's." Bradshaw said, undoing his seat belt and allowed the Undertaker to sit.
"I can't believe I'm about to do this. Mideon, next time get a bigger vehicle will you?" Undertaker said as he gathered up his long, black velvet robe and sat down on Bradshaw's lap.
Paul Bearer however struggled to get comfortable on Viscera's lap.
"Are you in Uncle Paul? Cause I'm not going to start moving the car until you're fully in!" Mideon said, looking back the best he could.
"Yeah...yeah I'm good" Paul said as he slammed the door shut.
Mideon put the car into drive and away they all went into the night.