Believe it or not, this is my first attempt at wall sex. :) I figured, if anyone deserved my first time...it's my sistah from another mistah. Happy Birthday, my love. Enjoy!
(Special thanks to Julie, Sam and Sara for the beta assists...you ladies rock.)
3/14/2011: Corrected tense errors in second half of story.
Booth slammed his front door and picked up the first thing he could wrap his hand around, a hockey stick, and threw it down his entryway with a feral growl. It slammed against the wall before bounding with a snap along the floor, coming to rest sideways against his coffee table in the living room. He stomped down the hall after the stick, snatching it up and bringing down on his bent knee with a mighty crunch. The stick snapped into pieces, shards flying everywhere. With a curse, Booth threw the remnants of what used to be his favorite hockey tool into the trash as he passed on the way to the fridge.
Grabbing a beer, Booth stomped into his bedroom and threw himself onto the bed, breathing heavily. His body started to relax, but his mind wouldn't. All he could hear was her in his head, telling him that he wasn't good enough, that he didn't have enough to offer her, that in the end all relationships end and everyone involved got hurt. The tiny, quiet, fucking rational part of his brain that tried to remind him that she had said no such thing was desperately trying to get his attention, but he sat up and tried to stifle it by popping the lid off the bottle in his hand, tipping it back and chugging it all in one long drink.
Brennan had done nothing wrong, and deep down Booth knew that. But he had been so touchy lately, so prone to anger, so sensitive to any and all slights, perceived or otherwise, that his temper seemed to be on a permanent hair trigger. And as usually charming as he found Brennan's blunt assessment of the world around her, sometimes she just fucking pissed him off…and this time he wasn't able to stem the tide of anger that washed over him at her offhand comment.
They were all gathered at Founding Fathers celebrating the end of a grueling case. The entire team, save for Angela who had begged off- claiming exhaustion, was sitting together around a high table, trading toasts and laughing uproariously. At some point Clark had asked how Booth and Brennan had become partners, and while Booth tried to gather his thoughts to give a coherent answer, Brennan had piped up with her version of the events.
"Booth showed up at a lecture I was giving and begged me to take a look at a case he was stuck on." Brennan hiccupped cutely, pointing her finger at her boss. "Cam suggested that he go see me, because I am so smart, and he did. And I solved the case and punched the suspect and we got drunk together and Booth fired me and we almost slept together. Thankfully I sobered up in time to stop it, and then we didn't see each other for a year." Brennan's brow wrinkled in confusion. "At least, I think that's what happened."
Booth sat rolling his glass between his palms as everyone laughed around him. One line of Brennan's drunken recollection kept rolling around in his head. 'Thankfully I sobered up enough to stop it..'. Even though Booth knew she was right, that had they slept together back then they wouldn't have the friendship they shared now, the part of him that was still smarting from being rejected by Hannah was turning that comment around and around in his head on a loop. While everyone was having a good time, Booth continued to spiral down in a deep well of anger and resentment, until he felt like he wanted to pick up his chair and throw it at someone. So instead of giving in to the rage, he simply drained his drink, picked up his coat, and walked out without a word to anyone.
Once he had gotten outside, he waved at the closest cab and moved to open the back door when someone grabbed his arm.
"Booth?" Brennan looked hurt. "Why are you leaving? Is something wrong?"
Her complete lack of guile proved to be his undoing, and he shook off her hand violently and jerked the cab door open with a loud squeak. "Just leave me alone, Brennan. I'm going home."
With the use of her last name, the color drained out of Brennan's face as she processed the fact that not only was Booth angry, he was angry at her. And she had no idea why. "Did I do something wrong, Booth? I'm sorry, I-"
"Just let it go, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, Booth slammed the door and told the cab driver to go. He couldn't even muster the energy to turn around and watch what he was sure was the heart crushing sight of Brennan standing alone, confused and hurt, on the side of the street as his cab pulled away.
Booth scooted up and leaned on his headboard, trying to get his mood under control. This was in no way Brennan's fault, but he just couldn't help but feel some resentment that still lingered from her original rejection. He knew now that she didn't actually reject him, but his ego had taken enough of a beating over the years that her ultimate reasons wouldn't have mattered. All that really mattered was that she said no.
He was pulled out of his self-pitying reverie by a familiar pounding on his door. He seriously considered just letting it go, until he remembered that Brennan still had a key to his apartment. With a groan, he stood and headed for the door.
Brennan considered several different courses of action regarding Booth, before she settled on confronting him head-on. She had gone back into the bar and gave her apologies to everyone, pointedly ignoring the questioning stares as she collected her coat and ran out. After hailing her own cab, she sat in the back and thought about Booth's recent behavior.
Since Hannah had gone, Booth had been very close to his old self most of the time, joking with her and showing up at the lab more often. But every once in awhile, flashes of a different, angrier Booth would emerge. And Brennan had no idea how to deal with this confusing version of the man she had known all these years. She had hurt him, she knew. And so had Hannah, despite Brennan's explicit warning to the contrary. There was a dark, hidden part of her that hoped that Hannah had hurt Booth more, but she knew that thought was cruel and irrational and she refused to entertain it. Either way, the evidence was clear. This Booth, the one who had two more rejections under his belt, was showing the wear and tear of a truly heart sore man and with a sigh Brennan realized that her acceptance of his ultimatum, their partnership only or nothing, was going to have to be ignored in order to heal him.
She stood outside his door for what seemed like hours, contemplating her decision. It grated on her that she was second-guessing herself, but that only seemed to happen where Booth was concerned and there was a part of her that found a strange sense of comfort in that fact. In her work, she needed facts and evidence to make a determination, but when it came to matters of the heart she realized, with total surprise, that her first inclination was almost always right. She shook off the self-doubt and raised her hand to knock on the polished surface in front of her.
When Booth peeked through the crack in the door he wished for a split second that he had just ignored the knocking. Brennan looked up at him with such an earnest expression of…something he couldn't identify, that his heart seized up in sudden affection for her, and it made him want to panic and run. Instead, he took a deep breath and pulled the door open the rest of the way, gesturing for her to enter.
Brennan started to walk down the short hallway, but changed her mind. She turned and faced Booth, who was leaning up against the door staring at her, eyes black as onyx and just as unyielding.
"I'm sorry, Booth." Brennan said, the strength in her voice belying her internal nerves.
Booth sighed and shook his head, the movement almost imperceptible. "About what, Bones?"
"Did you think an apology would fix everything that's wrong with me?"
Brennan moved her head side to side, very slowly. "No."
He opened his arms and held his hands out in supplication. "Then you're going to have to spell it out for me, Temperance. I have no idea-" His words were cut off as Brennan suddenly dropped her coat and reached down to pull her blouse up over her head in one long, smooth movement.
"Bones!" Booth pushed himself off the door and grabbed for her shirt, trying to cover her. Brennan threw the blouse behind her, and then blocked Booth's move to retrieve it. "What the hell, Bones?"
Brennan placed one slim hand on Booth's chest and pushed. Caught off guard, he fell backwards a few steps, but it was enough to force him against the door again, eyes wide. She moved predatorily, stopping in front of him when her breasts just brushed the front of his shirt. "I have some things I need to say to you, and I don't want to have any more misunderstandings between us." She reached up and ran a finger along the edge of his collar. "So please, let me say what I need to say."
Struck dumb, Booth nodded.
"Good." With a brisk nod, Brennan began unbuttoning Booth's dress shirt. "I wanted you to know that when I…" She swallowed thickly and her hands trembled a bit as she fumbled on the third button. "When I said no to you, I was not rejecting you." Her eyes caught his, and seeing his unspoken question, she attempted to clarify. "Both times. The first time…we were both drunk, and you had…you said that you thought there might be something more between us than just sex, and I panicked. I barely knew you, and yet…" Booth was shocked to discover that a tear was threatening to fall from her eye. "I think I was feeling something similar. And that terrified me, Booth. But it was never about who you are. Never."
"Bones…" His voice caught on her name, and she held up her hand again to stop him.
"Please." The plea was quiet, but it might as well have been screamed, as the emotion behind it was loud and clear. When Booth nodded, she continued. "The second time…oh, God…I wasn't ready for it. I thought, I mean…I really thought that I couldn't be what you needed, because you-"
Booth cut her off with a searing, body-crushing kiss. She sobbed harshly into his mouth as his tongue claimed hers, one large hand burrowing into her hair, the other reaching down and cupping her behind. He lifted her suddenly, and before she knew what was happening, her back was against the door.
Brennan's head tipped back, hitting the wood with a thud as Booth peppered her face, neck and exposed chest with hot, wet kisses. Stopping to take a few deep, heaving breaths, Booth caught her head and pulled her forward until their foreheads touched. They locked eyes and Booth saw the absolute trust, faith and love blazing in her deeply blue eyes.
"I am terrified now, Bones." The confession cost him, she could see. She kissed his lips softly, nodding. "I'm afraid that I am going to give you everything I am, and you're going to find out my secret."
Brennan closed her eyes briefly, praying to a deity she didn't believe in that she would know the right thing to say. "Tell me your secrets, Booth…you can tell me anything."
Booth leaned into her, pulling her close enough so that he could rest his forehead on her naked shoulder, and let his heart spill over. "I'm afraid that you're not going to want me anymore…when you find out that you are the best thing about me."
"Booth…" She breathed his name on an exhale, letting her fingers slide through the hair at his nape, caressing. "I am not even on the very long list of the best things about you."
A shudder ran through his body as her words settled over him like the warmest, most comforting quilt and something deep in his chest released like a vice on his heart and spilled unbidden from his lips. "God, I love you so much."
Her hand stilled on his head and her eyes slipped closed. The words she both dreaded and wished for had finally escaped, and she decided in that moment that she was going to embrace them for what they were. Sliding her hands from his neck to his shoulders and pulling him up to look at her, she gave him all that she could at that moment. "I need you."
The simple plea was enough for him, for now…and he brought his mouth to hers hungrily. He captured her sighs with his lips, running his free hand along her torso. Cupping her still lace-clad breast in his hand, he flicked the nipple with his thumb. Brennan's hands slid down the front of his shirt and he gasped as she grabbed two handfuls of cotton and yanked, buttons flying. "Bones…" He half-smiled as she shrugged, pulling the shirt off and throwing it in the same direction as her blouse.
"I've always wanted to do that." She said with a grin.
With a growl, Booth dropped her hips and her feet hit the ground with a thump. His intention was clear when he unsnapped her jeans with one hand and pulled her zipper down with the other. His body followed her clothing down her legs, and he knelt before her, removing her shoes and sliding the jeans off. When he looked up, she had removed her bra, and his breath caught raggedly when he realized that she was wearing only a sheer pair of panties. Leaning forward, he breathed in her scent, musky and primal and so…Bones. Nuzzling between her legs, he moved to distract her with tiny nips and licks on her thighs as he removed her underwear. Looking up into her eyes, he smiled…and then stopped cold as he realized that right then, at that moment, Bones was standing in front of him completely naked.
"You're so beautiful." He breathed. He kissed his way back up her body, holding her hips tightly as she reached out and unsnapped his belt buckle, button and zipper. When his pants dropped to the floor, Brennan's eyes opened wide as her eyes settled on the proof of his desire for her, making an obvious and rather large tent in his boxer briefs.
"Oh…oh, please Booth…want you so much…" Brennan sighed as she pulled the boxers down, smiling widely as his cock sprang free, hard and ready, and she took the initiative by jumping up and trusting that he would catch her…as he always had.
Booth grabbed her ass and held her against the door, bracing her with one hand as he wrapped one hand around himself and guided his dick to her waiting wetness. "Bones, look at me."
Brennan breathed deeply and opened her eyes determinedly. Booth raised an eyebrow and leaned into her, their noses touching. He didn't have the words, but he didn't need them…she knew what he wanted and she wanted more than anything to give that to him. "Everything…" she whispered.
"Everything." Booth nodded, and then slid inside her slowly.
Brennan tensed for a moment, expecting some adjustment after such a long time without intercourse for her, but instead of the tightness and burning she thought she would feel, there was nothing but pleasure…enhanced by the deep moan from Booth as he buried himself inside her.
They stayed in place for what seemed like hours…the only noise the ticking of his clock and their labored breaths. Finally, Brennan wrapped her legs tightly around Booth's hips and tilted her pelvis forward. He raised his head and the heated look he leveled at her stole her breath for a moment. Finally, she dug her nails into his shoulders and began to urge him to move. "Come on, Booth…now."
Without warning, Booth surged forward, slamming into her and drawing a shuddering groan from her. "Yes, that's it…just like that…"
"Hang on, baby." Booth reached down and looped his arms around her thighs, opening her up to him more and completely changing the angle of his thrusts. Her deep moan punctuated with his name…his last name, shot straight to his groin and he picked up his pace, driving her into the door and making it rattle on the hinges.
This man, and this act were not unfamiliar to Brennan, but the two of them combined began swirling together and crashing over her in wave after wave of sensation that she was helpless to control. She tipped her head back and the litany of pleas falling from her lips surprised even her.
"Please, Booth…please don't stop. Make me…oh God, make me come, make me feel good, make me feel it….please Booth…" The orgasm that had been hovering just on the edge of her consciousness started to crest and her cries escalated into something close to screams. Booth watched her fall apart against him, never stopping his hips but caught in the vortex of her release and the look on her face as she came, makes his entire body catch fire. He leaned down to capture a nipple in his mouth as she started to come down, and when he bit down lightly, she jerked again in another small climax. The surprise on her face finished him off, and he began to find his own release, roaring her name and clutching onto her tightly, hips slowing down but not stopping to prolong the pleasure for both of them.
As they both came down from their highs and their breathing began to slow, Booth finally looked up into her eyes, worried about what he was going to find there. When all he saw was acceptance, awe and love, his knees gave out and they slid to the floor, moving to accommodate the new position.
"I…I don't think I can move." Brennan rasped. "My legs seem to have lost all sensation."
Laughing lightly, Booth leaned into her and kissed her temple. "I know the feeling. Or, lack of feeling. We might have to crawl back to the bedroom."
Smiling, Brennan let her head fall over onto his shoulder. After a few minutes, the old insecurity began to tap at her, and her brow furrowed in worry. "Booth?"
"Yeah, Bones?" His voice was mellow as a Southern drawl, coated in satisfaction.
"Did I do the right thing, coming here?"
Standing up, Booth held his hand out to her, pulling her up and into his arms. Holding her tightly against him, he ran his hands along her naked back and sighed into her hair. "Yeah. Yeah, Bones. I think that for the first time in a very long time, we both did the right thing at the right time."