A/N: Once again a big thanks to WMHSCheerioBrittany for the ideas!


The moment her dads left for work, Rachel picked up her phone and sent Sam a text. Unsurprisingly, Sam showed up at her door in less than seven minutes, but didn't touch her until he checked every room just to make sure they were actually alone—with everything's that's been going on, he wasn't taking any chances.

"Sam, no one is here, please calm down," Rachel pleaded while Sam checked underneath her bed as if he was in an episode of CSI. She understood his concern, but still thought he was being a bit ridiculous. They were supposed to be getting it on and instead she was contemplated on flipping on her TV and witching straight to the Golden Girls marathon she knew was on.

"Just let me check your bathroom," Sam argued before disappearing into the small room. In there, he did a complete three-sixty on his heels and checked behind the shower curtain for good measure, anything to insure that they were indeed alone. When he only found a lonely bottle of conditioner, her called out, "We're good!"

Rachel rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's over-the-top tendencies. "You're rubbing my feet," the diva mumbled to herself.

That got Sam to shape up. "Noooo," she whined when he came out of the bathroom. "Le feet can wait."

"Le feet are aching," Rachel mocked before giving Sam a Grinch-like smirk. "I've changed my mind, Samuel. Drop to the floor and handle those toes, then you can start taking your clothes off."

Sam wasn't having that. He didn't stay up all night thinking about her just to show up to her house the next morning to rub her feet—they had pedicurists for that.

Quickly, he pulled off his shirt and tackled Rachel on her bed. Instead of protesting, Rachel laughed and attempted to put up a playful fight. All it took was a mischievous bite on the neck from Sam to make Rachel get more serious about what they were doing and pull him down for a kiss.

"Whoa there, porky," Rachel joked when she touched Sam's stomach and felt a little flab. "Do I feel some missing squares? Do you need to hit up the gym?"

Hearing that, Sam was slightly offended and almost rolled off of Rachel to check his abs. "Don't play like that," he said.

Rachel giggled while Sam was distracted and actually had the power to flip them over, almost off the bed. Now on top, Rachel took the liberty of unzipping her star-covered footie pajamas down until the zipper reached just below her belly button. The moment Sam saw the sliver of Rachel's stomach and noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra, the little jab she took at his abs suddenly didn't matter anymore.

"See something you like, Sam?" Rachel teased.

Sam didn't hear a word she said. The only thing he was focused on was getting her out of her cockblocking pajamas and throwing them onto the floor where they should be. Rachel, however, beat him to the punch when she pulled her arms through the long-sleeves and shrugged the fabric off her shoulders, leaving the torso part of the sleepwear around her waist.

Now that Rachel's breasts were in full view, Sam was practically drooling. The boy didn't hesitate to reach out and cup them in his hands, earning a flinch from his girlfriend due to the chill from his hands. As a result, Rachel swatted his hands away, but only so she could work on his pants, Sam unzipping them while Rachel pulled them off.

"Are we really going to do this?" Sam panted as he watched his girlfriend fully disrobe herself, kicking her pajamas to the floor with the rest of the discarded clothing. She was doing it with such haste that for a moment Sam wasn't too sure he was dealing with the right Rachel.

"If I didn't want this then I wouldn't have let you take your pants off," she replied. At this time, Rachel was in nothing but her underwear, straddling Sam who was in nothing but his boxers. "Originally, us finally having sex was supposed to be about you and your final birthday present, but after a while I changed my mind and decided we were going to do it when I was ready, which right now, I am."

Well, that surprised the hell out of Sam. He wasn't expecting Rachel to say anything like that. He was honestly ready to kill the mood and tell her that losing her virginity to him should have been about her, not some dumb birthday present. The only problem with that was that he really, really didn't want to kill the mood or do anything that would make her want to put her clothes back on and force him to paint her toes.

"Rachel…are you sure?" Sam questioned seriously. "We don't have to do this, we can wait."

"I'm sick of waiting," she replied calmly. "Shorts: I want them off."

Sam couldn't even lie when he thought about how sick he was of waiting too, but before he could even get to his boxers, Rachel was already in the midst of pulling them down. At that moment, Sam wasn't going to do anything to stop her—she was ready and so was he.

Rachel didn't look up until Sam was fully naked under her—and when she did finally did look up—her jaw almost dropped.

"Sam, your bulge never left much to the imagination but you are simply too well-endowed for your own good," Rachel spoke, hardly able to keep her eyes off of her boyfriend's slightly erected penis. Just as she was about to get to taking her panties off she noticed that there was something—tattooed?—on the unseen half of his penis. She was quick to reach out and lift it, only to be even more shocked at what she saw.

"Samuel Austin Evans, please, please tell me that isn't a full-body tattoo of Woody from Toy Story on your penis?"

Sam's face instantly fell. He had honestly forgotten all about the tattoo he'd gotten before he moved to Lima. He needed something to say and quick. "Uh…reach for the sky?"

Rachel couldn't believe him. Just when she thought she knew everything there was to know about Sam, he goes and surprises the hell out of her with something like this. Of all the places to have a tattoo, he had one on his penis. The crazy thing about it was Rachel wasn't even mad. Instead, she thought it was the funniest thing ever and started laughing.

"You're laughing?" Sam asked, confused as to why she wasn't throwing a huge fit and scolding the hell out of him.

Just as Rachel was about to give him an answer, the most dreadful sound ever—the sound of the front door opening—reached their ears. "Baby girl?" It was Leroy. "Where are you?"

Hearing the sound of her dad's voice almost gave Rachel heart palpitations. There she was, close to naked, on top of her boyfriend, who was naked. If her dad came through the door and saw that, all hell would break loose. Sam had to think fast.

"Rachel, babe, don't freeze up on me, okay?" he said even though he wasn't sure if Rachel heard him or not. "Just put some clothes on really fast and meet him downstairs before he can get up here."

Rachel was still frozen in place and it took a good pinch on the thigh from Sam to bring her back to life. She practically flew from Sam's waist and scrammed to get any and every bit of clothing on possible. Sam followed her lead by grabbing his clothes and running into the bathroom, which honestly, made Rachel laugh again.

"Nice butt, Sammy," she giggled from her room, able to find the time to make jokes in her panic.

Sam didn't find the humor in it at all and poked his head out of the door, "Just go talk to your dad before he finds and kills me!"

Stifling her giggles and putting the rest of her clothes on, Rachel moved towards her door, but before she could even reach the knob, Leroy knocked from the other side. The diva gulped—she didn't think her dad was actually going to come to her room. She was sure Sam was about to have a panic attack and she just hoped he wouldn't make a sound. "Yes, dad?"

Leroy pushed the door open and walked in, "Baby girl, have you seen my portfolio? I forgot it before I left and I have no idea where it is."

Rachel attempted to smile and make it seem like she wasn't about to start hyperventilating. Unfortunately for her, Leroy wasn't a clueless man—it was no trouble for him to notice the way his daughter and her room appeared now: her hair was messy and disheveled, her clothes were askew and twisted, and there were clothes—suspicious looking clothes—scattered all over the floor.

"Uh," Rachel almost stuttered, trying to think clearly without giving anything away, "Have you checked by the coffee machine in your office? You and daddy always seem to leave things there." It was a half-ass answer, but an answer nonetheless—anything to send him on his way.

The tall black man snapped his fingers, "Of course!"

Good. Dad got his answer, now he can leave.

Once again, Rachel wasn't so lucky. Leroy took a few steps back and loitered in the doorframe, looking passed his daughter and examining her room a little more, trying to find the thing he knew she was hiding from him. The silence was eerie and Rachel thought she might actually faint. Being the reasonable man Leroy was he was actually going to let whatever Rachel was hiding slide this one time, until he heard a faint sneeze come from the bathroom.

Rachel's heart jumped, "Dad, it's not what you th-"

"Rachel Barbra Berry," her dad said calmly, earning a flinch due to the fullness of her name, "I sure hope you're not hiding someone in your bathroom?"

She wasn't sure what her father was doing. She knew that he heard her idiot boyfriend sneeze and didn't understand why Sam was being choked right about now. "Dad-"

Leroy cut her off again. "I sure hope it isn't that Pickleman boy, because if it is then give me a minute to go get my rifle."

Normally, Rachel would have laughed at that, but at the moment she couldn't tell if her dad was joking or dead serious. "No, dad," she confessed hoarsely, "It's not Noah."

Leroy nodded. "I hope it's not Finn, because come on, your babies would be funny-looking."

Hearing that, Sam had to force his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. Rachel was a little offended, but decided now wasn't the time to argue with her dad. "It's not Finn."

For a moment, Rachel wondered why her dad was calling out these names. He knew that she and Sam have been together for a long time now and the fact that he was suggesting other boys was borderline insulting. The brunette honestly wasn't sure what her dad was doing until he started talking again.

"Well I know for a fact it's not Sam, because he would never do something that would make him lose my trust or make your daddy want to swing on him, right?"

Oh, now she understood. Just from that last question she knew Leroy knew that Sam was in the bathroom, but was acting as if he wasn't there and was simply lecturing her. Rachel was grateful that her dad was doing what he was doing instead of blowing up like her daddy would have if it were him. She let out a breath, "Right."

"Good," Leroy said. "Now, I'm going to get my portfolio and go back to work like nothing is wrong, because I never heard a sneeze come from your bathroom, okay?"

The second Leroy was out of sight Rachel had to catch herself from falling by gripping onto the wall. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She didn't push herself to her feet even when she heard the front door open and close along with the sound of a car pulling out of the driveway.

Once Sam was sure he heard her dad's car drive away, he emerged from his hiding place and went straight Rachel. She was still leaning against the wall, mostly likely trying to get some strength back into her legs to stand properly. "Rach?" Sam said softly.

"That was dreadful," Rachel announced, her voice a bit shaky. Sam, wearing only his pants, lightly tugged his girlfriend and let her fall into his arms. Honestly, he thought she was being a bit dramatic about the situation because it could have been alot worse. He lifted her off her feet and brought her to her bed, laying her down then sitting beside her.

He rubbed her knee, trying to think of something reassuring to say, "Well, it could have been Hiram."

"Yes, that's comforting," she quipped before sitting up and staring her boyfriend in the eye. "My dad almost caught us having sex, Sam. There is nothing good about this situation at all. Now he probably thinks I've snuck all my boyfriends in my room and slept with them when they were at work."

"But you know you haven't," Sam consoled, "So don't beat yourself up about it."

Rachel sighed. "Why can't we have sex without people intruding on us? The first time was understandable because we weren't the only ones in the school but this is just ridiculous and redundant."

"Maybe this is just a sign from the Gods?"

Rachel shut that notion down. "Just rub my feet and turn on my TV."

He sighed. "No sex?"

"The mood has been slaughtered, Sam. Be happy I'm letting you keep your shirt off," she said. "Now tell me how and where you got that horrid tattoo."


Mr. Schue waked into the choir room full of his awaiting students who were all ready to start up rehearsals. Surprisingly, right behind him was Jesse St. James, shocking everyone with a completely shaved head.

"Good lord," Rachel was the first to say. Sam had a huge smile on his face and had to use his hand to cover his snickering. He, along with just about everyone else except for Rachel, found Jesse's new hairstyle, or lack thereof, humorous in some way. Quinn just smirked pompously.

"Jesse," Quinn grinned knowingly, "What happened to your hair?"

Jesse mirrored her smirk. "I lost a bet."

Mercedes let her giggling subside long enough to ask, "So what are you doing here?"

Mr. Schue turned from the piano and answered for him. "Jesse and I were talking about Nationals the other day and decided that the only way we would have a chance to beat Vocal Adrenaline this year is to actually have someone as skilled as Jesse help us, so on that note, Jesse is now going to be our new show choir consultant."

There weren't many negative comments or protests at first. In all honesty, with the way Jesse has proved himself, him being a consultant and helping out didn't seem like such a bad idea. Finn, however, thought it was a terrible idea.

"Mr. Schue, how can you let this guy coach us? He's been nothing but trouble since the first day he showed up."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Says the asshole who started a fight at prom and managed to ruin it for a few people."

Finn ignored her comment and kept his focus on the two men in front of him. "As the leader of the New Directions I don't think he should help us. We can handle Nationals on our own."

"Yeah, no offense Finn, but just because you're the 'leader' doesn't mean that you can speak for all of us," Sam declared with a bit of bite in his voice. "Personally, I think we need all the help we can get. Jesse already proved that he has good intentions with the way he handled me and Rachel's relationship and taking Quinn to prom and not letting that stupid fight you started get to him. He's a good dude and I trust him."

Sam's speech earned a few nods from the team while Finn's face got hot. Normally, Puck would back Finn up and hate on Jesse too, but he wasn't about to let his friend's pride and jealously get in the way of winning Nationals. "I say we take a vote," Puck announced.

Finn looked taken aback by Puck's statement. "What?"

Puck didn't bat an eyelash, "C'mon man, do you want to win Nationals or not?"

"Of course I do, but-"

"Then we need to shape up," Kurt finished. "Everyone who thinks Jesse should stay, raise your hand."

Everyone but Finn raised their hands.

"Looks like majority rules," Mr. Schue announced while bringing his hands together like he did whenever something was made official. "No hard feelings, Finn."

The defeated quarterback shrugged, "Whatever."

"Well," Jesse said once the heat was off of him and Finn stopped glaring, "First things first: who's singing what. Aside from the group number, there's a solo and or duet up for grabs. To be fair, Mr. Schuester and I decided to hold auditions for whoever is interested. Whoever wins can either do a solo or choose someone to do a duet with them, preferably one of the runner-ups."

Santana perked up, "I got this in the bag. The rest of you suckers might as well keep your asses at home."

"No way, Santana," Mercedes said, "Best believe you gonna have some competition."

Kurt bobbed his head in agreement. "That's right."

While they bickered back and forth, Sam leaned over to Rachel and whispered, "Are you going to audition?"

"Of course I am," she answered. "My vocals are the exact thing we need in order to win. I won't let those clowns throw salt in my game."

Sam smiled and threw his arm around her shoulders. It was on.


"So do you have any idea what you wanna sing?"

Even though they were in the living room, Rachel could barely hear what Sam was saying due to his dad bellowing out a song while cooking seafood in the kitchen. It was bad enough he was distracting her, but the French accent he was using didn't help a thing. While Sam had a smirk on his face and McKenzie was giggling, Rachel was the only one who wasn't amused.

Les poissons, les poissons
How I love les poissons
Love to chop and to serve little fish
First I cut off their heads
Then I pull out their bones
Ah mes oui, savez toujours delice

"God, I love it when dad gets into one of his moods," McKenzie laughed.

Les poissons, les poissons
HEE HEE HEE, HAW HAW HAW!
With a cleaver I hack them in two
I pull out what's inside
And I serve it up fried
God, I love little fishes, don't you?

"To answer your question, Sam, I'm going to sing-"

Here's something for tempting the palette
Prepared in the classic technique
First you pound the fish flat with a mallet
Then you slash off their skin
Give their belly a slice
Then you rub some salt in
'Cause it makes it taste nice

"God Help the Outcasts!"

Zoot alors, I have missed one!

McKenzie laughed. "I bet he didn't miss anything, he's just being a tipsy ass."

Sam nodded, "Yeah."

Sacre bleu, what is this?
How on earth could I miss
Such a sweet little succulent crab
Quel Domage, what a loss
Here we go, in the sauce
Now some flour I think just a dab
Now I stuff you with bread
It don't hurt, 'cause you're dead!
And you're certainly lucky you are
'Cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot!
Tout-aloo mon poisson
Au revoir!

Once Thomas was done with his song the kitchen grew quiet, that was, until the sound of a cabinet slamming and footsteps pounding up the stairs. Sam didn't even want to know.

"So you're doing 'God Help the Outcasts?'" Sam asked, finally able to actually be heard, "I think you'll do amazing."

"I know I will," Rachel replied confidently. "Don't get me wrong, I love Kurt and Mercedes and Santana has become a very good friend but there's no way I'm going to let any of them show me up. This is Nationals damn it—Rachel Berry is going to perform."

Sam's eyebrows rose, "Hmm, I like it when you get feisty."

"And that's my cue to leave," McKenzie announced, lifting herself from her place on the floor and heading upstairs before anything freaking went down. Sam just laughed and yelled that there was probably more freakiness going on between their parents upstairs than anything he and Rachel were going to do downstairs.

Rachel, happy that she and Sam were finally alone, dropped her sheet music and fell back into his chest, snuggling into him while bringing his arms around her middle. "I love your sister."

"I'll sell her to you if want her."

The brunette laughed, "Name your price."

Before Sam could give Rachel a reasonable price, her phone vibrated in her pocket. Looking to see who it was, her eyebrows furrowed when she saw Finn's name. She was hesitant to answer it at first, thinking that it was a bad idea with Sam right behind her, but then she decided that it must have been something important seeing as though she hasn't gotten a call from Finn in quite some time.

"Hello?"

"Rachel, it's Kurt."

Hearing that it was Kurt caused any worry Rachel might have welled up to diminish. "Kurt, why are you using Finn's phone?"

"It was closer. But never mind that, there's something I need to tell you. It's about Sue."

Sue? If it was about Sue then it must have been something terrible. The cheerleading coach hasn't been too helpful lately and it wouldn't surprise Rachel if she found another way to mess with the glee club and their chances at Nationals. "Okay, I'm listening."

"Her sister, Jean, died."

Hearing that, Rachel instantly felt bad for accusing Sue of doing something to hurt them. "Oh God, that's terrible."

"What's terrible?' Sam asked in a hushed tone, wanting to know why Rachel's mood changed so quickly.

Rachel held her hand over her phone and answered, "Sue's sister died." Sam mumbled something, most likely some condolences of sort, while Rachel asked Kurt why exactly he called to tell her this.

"We're calling all the New Directions. Finn and I decided that even though Sue has been completely horrible to us, she still should have people there for her, so we're all going to help with the funeral."

Rachel wasn't too sure about the idea at first. While her heart went out to Sue and her troubles, helping with a funeral would put a serious dent in planning for Nationals. Yeah, it sounded really selfish, but Rachel, along with the rest of the glee club, has worked too hard to have something like a funeral throw them off.

"How does Mr. Schue feel about this?" she asked.

"He's all for it. Everyone is, actually. I sort of told you last so you wouldn't have much of a choice."

Sneaky gays. "I'm appalled you think so low of me, Kurt."

"I know who I'm dealing with. So are you down with this or not?"

"Of course I am, Kurt," Rachel answered. "Sam's onboard too."

"Onboard what?" the jock asked, wondering what the hell Rachel was talking about and signing him up for without his consent.

Rachel ended her conversation with Kurt and filled Sam in on what was going on and what they were going to do about it. Sam liked the idea that they were going to help Sue because it was the right thing to do plus he wanted to see Sue's good side for once.

"I just hope Sue's going to be okay. Jean was like…the only person she really cared about," Sam analyzed quietly. "That would be like Santana losing Brittany."

Rachel practically shivered at the thought.


Kurt, Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana were all lounging in the choir room waiting for their call to audition. While Mercedes and Santana were chilling out, ready to perform, Kurt and Rachel took the liberty to practice some scales. Mercedes wasn't tripping because she was more than confident with her song choice. Santana wasn't about to stop them either; they could practice their scales until their voices cracked for all she cared.

Becky, since Sue has been neglecting her lately and Mr. Schue simply couldn't turn her away, walked into the room. "Santana, you're up first."

Santana shot up from her seat. "Well it's about damn time."

"Good luck, honey," Kurt called as Santana followed behind Becky. "You're going to need it."

Rachel smiled. She loved it when competition brought the diva out of all of them.

XXXX

"Can you tell us what you're singing, Santana?"

The brunette put her hands on her hips and smirked. "I'm going to sing an old song that was practically the Unholy Trinity anthem back in the day." Santana peeked over her shoulder to her two backup singers, Quinn and Brittany, and winked at them. They winked back, Brittany the only one to blink both of her eyes.

"Okay," Mr. Schue said through the microphone. "Whenever you're ready."

Santana nodded and looked at the man sitting at the piano. "Hit it, Brad."

I put a spell on you
And now you're mine
You can't stop the things I do
I ain't lyin'

"Well, this is a fitting tune," Mr. Schue mumbled to Jesse as they watched Santana practically seduce the microphone stand.

It's been 300 years
Right down to the day,
Now the witch is back
And there's hell to pay
I put a spell on you
And now you're mine!

Santana cut away from singing and switched her voice to where she was talking. "Hello, boys! My name's Santana, what's yours?"

"How charming," Jesse said, rolling his eyes as he worked on the tail of the cat he was drawing.

I put a spell on you
And now you're gone

"Gone, gone, gone so long!" Brittany and Quinn sang into their microphones while doing some synchronized hand gestures.

My whammy fell on you
And it was strong

"So strong! So strong! So strong!"

Your wretched little lives
Have all been cursed,
'Cause of all the witches working
I'm the worst!
I put a spell on you
And now you're mine!

"Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!"

If you don't believe,
You'd better get superstitious.
Ask my sisters!

"Ooh, she's vicious!"

I put a spell on you,
I put a spell on you
And now you're mine!

By the time Santana finished her song she had groped just about every band member on stage, including a certain blonde backup singer. While Mr. Schue legit enjoyed the song and applauded, Jesse appeared bored, like her performance was a complete waste of his precious time.

"That'll be all, Santana," Jesse said flatly, not even bothering to critique her performance.

Santana got defensive. "Hold on there, baldy, aren't you going to say anything?"

Jesse sighed and rubbed his palm over the peach fuzz that used to be his hair. "Honestly, I thought you didn't put enough emotion into the song. Maybe if you would have shot a few glances at Brittany or something it would have did something for me but other than that, the performance was pretty bland."

Santana couldn't believe it. "Bland?"

"Bland. Weak. Tasteless. Dry. However you want to spin it."

Within the next moment Santana found herself being held back by both Brittany and Quinn. "Bland? Well you certainly got a lot of nerve you hairless, pasty, college dropout! You wouldn't know talent if someone shoved-"

"Santana!" Quinn yelled before something stupid slipped out of her mouth. "Calm down."

"Cease and desist, babe!"

"No me gusta!"

XXXX

Becky entered the choir room to call on the next contestant. "Kurt, you're next."

"Where's Santana?" Rachel questioned, wondering where the unruly girl was.

"Jesse told her that her song was boring and she lost her mind," Becky explained. "Brittany and Quinn had to stop her from going after him."

Mercedes laughed, "Told that heifer she wouldn't cut it."

Kurt stood from him chair and moseyed to the door. "Well, ladies, I guess it's time for a true diva to show you how it's done."

XXXX

"Okay, Kurt, what are you going to sing for us?"

Kurt smiled, "I'm going to sing 'Falling in Love with Love' by Bernadette Peters."

While Mr. Schue gave Kurt the "whenever you're ready" line, Jesse wondered how Kurt was going to be able to vocally handle a song by Bernadette Peters. From what he's seen and heard from the boy, Jesse knew to pay close attention. Kurt moved to the center of the stage and signaled for the band to start.

Falling in love with love is falling for make believe
Falling in love with love is playing a fool
Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy
Learning to trust is just for children in school
I fell in love with love one night when the moon was full
I wasn't wise with eyes unable to see
I fell in love with love with love everlasting
But love fell out with me

Jesse crossed his hand over his chest as he watched Kurt dance in the middle of the stage. While Mr. Schue was bobbing his head to the sound of Kurt's voice, Jesse wasn't too sure how he felt about the song.

Falling in love with love is falling for make believe
Falling in love with love is playing a fool
Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy
Learning to trust is just for children in school
I fell in love with love one night when the moon was full
I wasn't wise with eyes unable to see
I fell in love with love with love everlasting
But love fell out with me

Mr. Schue was the first to applaud and give Kurt his praise, "Kurt that was amazing! Your voice fit the song so well! Your choreography was a little promiscuous but overall it was great."

Kurt beamed. "Why thank you, Mr. Schue."

Jesse let his arms loose while shaking his head. "Mr. Hummel, has anyone ever told you that you sound like a woman?"

XXXX

"Jesse St. James Jesse St. Sucks!"

Mercedes didn't even need an explanation of what happened before she burst out laughing. "Well damn."

"What did he say?" Rachel asked once Kurt huffed in the seat beside her.

The boy didn't even want to repeat. "He questioned my feminine vocals, said I wasn't up to par with Bernadette Peters."

"Well it was a hell of a lot better than my evaluation," a still visibly upset Santana stated as she entered the room. Even though she was alone, it wasn't difficult to notice how wild her hair had gotten since she was dragged off stage or the lipstick mark planted on the space between her neck and her collarbone. "You're up next, Aretha."

"I see Brittany tried to mellow you out?" Mercedes joked as she walked to the door.

Santana wasn't amused. "I see your weave is still slippin' to the side?"

XXXX

"Hello, Mercedes. What are you going to sing for us?"

"I'm going to sing a little something by Anika Noni Rose. She's always been a favorite of mine."

Mr. Schue smiled and wished her luck, along with a smile from Jesse. Mercedes knew she was going to rock it way harder than Santana or Kurt ever could and wasn't even worried. Just from the way Jesse smiled at her she could just tell he was going to love her performance. The confident diva stepped in front of the microphone and cleared her throat.

Mama! I don't have time for dancing!
That's just gonna have to wait a while
Ain't got time for messing around
And it's not my style
This old town can slow you down
People taking the easy way
But I know exactly where I'm going
Getting closer and closer every day
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care
Trials and tribulations, I've had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now 'cause I'm almost there

"Wow," Mr. Schue breathed.

"Yeah, wow," Becky backed up.

I remember Daddy told me: "Fairytales can come true
You gotta make 'em happen, it all depends on you"
So I work real hard each and every day
Now things for sure are going my way
Just doing what I do
Look out boys, I'm coming through
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People gonna come here from everywhere
And I'm almost there
I'm almost there

While Mr. Schue and Becky were positively memorized by Mercedes' powerful voice, Jesse displayed disappointment all over his face. It was no secret that Mercedes had an amazing voice, but she hadn't moved an inch since she started singing. He'd seen The Princess and the Frog and knew how upbeat the song was. For God's sake, Tiana was dancing around a fucking shack while she sung this and the only thing Mercedes did was bring her arms up and down when he hit the high notes.

There's been trials and tribulations
You know I've had my share
But I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
I'm almost there!

During her final note, both Mr. Schue and Betty gave Mercedes a standing ovation. Mercedes bowed and gabbled the applause up. When she looked to Jesse for his reaction, she got a smile, but nothing else.

"Well I have to say that was the best performance of the night so far," Jesse congratulated, "But it was also the laziest performance of the night."

The smirk Mercedes once held proudly on her face was quickly replaced with a hard scowl. "Excuse me?"

"You're lazy, Mercedes."

XXXX

"He called you lazy? Ha!"

"Don't be so crude, Santana," Rachel scolded. "I'm sure Mercedes just interpreted his criticism wro-"

"Wrong my ass," the diva almost yelled. "Idiot wouldn't know talent if it bit him in the ass."

"I won't bite just any ass, Mercedes," Kurt joked with a straight face and earned a loud snort from both Santana and Mercedes.

Rachel stood from her seat. "I guess that just leaves me then."

"It certainly does," Santana quipped. "Break a leg."

From the way she said it, Rachel wasn't sure if she was joking or completely serious. She wasn't going to stick around to find out—Rachel Berry had a song to sing.

The minute Rachel was out of the room, Kurt turned to the two still pissed off girls beside him and said, "You girls know Jesse dotes on Rachel, right?"

Santana gave a minute for his words to sink in. "Hell yeah he does. If they were still into each other they'd probably be eloping to New York as we speak."

"I say we go watch her performance," Mercedes added with a little snarl. "I wanna see what he has to say when she's the one onstage."

XXXX

When Jesse saw Rachel appear onstage, he smiled. "Hello, Rachel. What are you going to sing for us?"

"I'm going to sing God Help the Outcasts from The Hunchback of Notre Dame," she answered.

Santana snorted. "This bitch."

Jesse was a bit surprised that it wasn't anything Broadway related. "God Help the Outcasts? That a very powerful song, Rachel."

The singer nodded, "I know. I just wanted to try something out of the norm."

Mr. Schue smiled, "Wonderful. We're ready when you are."

Rachel nodded and waited for the light to dim. Once there was a single light on her (which Mercedes thought was very dramatic) she cleared her throat and told Brad and the rest of the band to start.

I don't know if You can hear me
Or if You're even there
I don't know if You would listen
To a gypsie's prayer
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to you
Still I see Your face and wonder...
Were You once an outcast too?
God help the outcasts
Hungry from birth
Show them the mercy
They don't find on earth
God help my people
We look to You still
God help the outcasts
Or nobody will

By this time Rachel was wholly into the song she was singing. Jesse was completely moved from the power and emotion in Rachel's voice as well was Mr. Schue and Becky. Both Mercedes and Santana were impressed, but be damned is they showed it. Instead they sat with their arms crossed and displayed bored expressions. Kurt, being the person that he was, was near tears.

"She's alright," Santana said.

"The song is a little too strong for my taste," Mercedes complained. "Feel like I should be in a cathedral."

I ask for wealth
I ask for fame
I ask for glory to shine on my name
I ask for love I can possess
I ask for God and His angels to bless me

"Look at this," Santana barked. "She's going all 'dramatic pause' on our assess."

"With a voice like that she can dramatic my ass all she wants," Kurt whimpered.

I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and down trod
I thought we all were
The children of God
God help the outcasts
Children of God

There was a slight paused after she finished, but it was soon overpowered by the sound of Becky, Mr. Schue, and Jesse applauding. Following them was Kurt, who stood and gave the girl on stage a standing ovation.

"She may be difficult but boy can she sing," he cried. Santana was annoyed by his behavior and pulled him back down before he started screaming for an encore.

"Damn it, Porcelain. Fuck you clapping for? We supposed to be a team," Santana snarled.

"Hush up, Satan," Mercedes snapped. "I wanna hear what Jesse got to say."

Jesse was the first to lean forward and say, "I thought your performance was simply brilliant, Rach-"

"Rigged! This is garbage!" Santana yelled, not even giving the new consultant a chance to finish. Mercedes was right there with her, knowing good and well Jesse's fondness for Rachel had a huge influence on his judging. Kurt just sat back and blew into his sleeve.


After thanking Mr. Schue and Jesse for their time and successfully avoiding Santana's rage, Rachel made her way to the boy's locker room to find Sam. He already knew there was no competition and had listened to her rehearse the song about a dozen times so he found no harm with doing a little weightlifting until the auditions were over.

By the time Rachel barged into the locker room Sam was the only guy left, which always seemed to be the case no matter how many times she's been in there. Rachel, however, didn't find her boyfriend working on a punching bag on doing chin-ups. Instead, she found him in the shower singing into a bottle of body wash like it was one of her bedazzled microphones.

I'm never gonna catch my breath
Say good-bye to those who knew me
Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym
This guy's got 'em scared to death
Hope he doesn't see right through me
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim-

"Sam!"

Sam was so shocked by the voice that the bottle flew out of his hands and bounced against the tile wall. Rachel cackled at her boyfriend's lumbering, not even taking the time to care or admire that he was wet and naked. Sam didn't think her scaring him was funny at all.

"Why would you do that?"

Rachel giggled. "Because I like messing with you."

Sam didn't see the humor. "I didn't think it was funny, now hand me the bottle, please."

Rachel walked over to where the Gillette body wash lay on the floor. She tossed it to Sam and told him that she was sure that she won.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Sam asked rhetorically while squeezing the gel into his palm and rubbing it over his chest. "I mean, I'm sure Jesse was a biased judge, but there isn't much harm in that, right?"

Rachel didn't hear a word he said. It was too difficult seeing as though he was basically washing himself right in front of her. Sure, Sam's naked body wasn't something she hadn't seen before, but this was different. Showering, at least in her eyes, was a very personal and intimate thing, something married couples engaged in. Even though she wasn't necessarily in the shower with him, there was still a little voice telling her to leave the room.

"I'll just…uh…leave you to finish."

Sam's eyes crossed. "No, stay. Tell me how it went."

Brown eyes went to the floor. "I don't think that's a good idea."

That confused Sam. He scanned the area, looking for something that would make Rachel want to leave. Besides the empty showers, they were the only two in the room and there really wasn't a good enough reason for her to leave. "Why?"

She kept her eyes on the floor, "Because you're not decent."

"Not decent?" he questioned, and then it clicked, "What, because I'm naked? You've seen me naked before Rach, it's nothing new."

Rachel internally cursed him for making it difficult. "Yes, but you're taking a shower. It's different from just seeing you naked."

"Is it?"

"Yes," she answered quickly. "That would be like you watching me while I washed myself. It's not the same from simply seeing me naked. It's something that, like, married people do."

Sam laughed and scratched his head. Not too long ago Rachel was on top of him, ready to get down, and now she was being bashful when all that was there to look at was his chest. He rubbed at his eyes in order to see better and leaned against the wall, resting him arms so that he was a close to his girlfriends as possible without actually leaving the warmth of the shower. "Would it help if I proposed to you? Would that make it better?"

"Sam, don't play games," she replied seriously.

He laughed again, "I'm not playing games. I'll get on my knees right now if that's what you want."

Playfully, she rolled her eyes. "Just hurry up, it's cold in here."

"Well if you would get in-"

"Sam!"

"Okay!" he surrendered while laughing. "Just let me wash my penis-"

"You mean your 'Woody'?"

"Just go wait outside," he instructed as Rachel turned to leave. "And watch out for Santana while you're out there!"


The funeral was going by smoothly until Sue broke down and Mr. Schue had to finish her speech for her. Surprisingly, majority of the New Directions were tearing up and Santana was clutching onto Brittany's hand like it was their last day on earth. Since her fathers were sort of detached from their families, Rachel had never been to a funeral before and wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. Her hands were fidgety as well was her knees—it wasn't until Sam rested his hand on her thigh that made her stop.

After the New Directions sang 'Pure Imagination' and watched Sue cry more than they'd ever like to, the funeral ended. It was a quick service, due to there not being many people in attendance, a hundred tops. Eventually, everyone who attended filtered out into the parking lot to find their cars, glee clubbers included, except for Mr. Schue, who stayed behind with Sue for emotional support.

"God, that was the saddest thing I've ever attended," Rachel droned while leaning against Sam's car. Sam told her it really wasn't that big of a deal with him because he'd been to funerals before.

"I've been to worse."

Rachel snorted, "I believe you."

Sam cracked a smile and fished his keys out of his pocket. Unlocking the door, he gleamed over the hood of his car to see Jesse and Quinn talking a few cars away. Rachel was looking at them too with a proud smile on her face, happy that she was part of the reason they were hitting it off so well. Before Jesse came along, Quinn and Finn were a complete mess and now it was hard for the blonde to keep a smile off her face.

"I should be a matchmaker, Sam. I'd make so much money and I'd probably get my own reality show on VH1."

"Shut up and get in the car, babe," he laughed.

Rachel laughed right along with him and opened her door. Sam followed her and was quick to drive out of the lot. Sure, he felt bad for Sue and all, but he was not a fan of the funeral atmosphere and was ready to get home.


The day after the funeral, Sam found himself stretching on Rachel's couch while she was beside him trying to find something to watch on TV. There was a light drizzle outside and neither of them really felt like doing much. Even though Nationals was about a week and a half away, Rachel decided to make the next two days of relaxing before she started to really hit hard. On Monday Mr. Schue and Jesse would announce who the winner of the auditions was, but until then, her vocals were going to do nothing but rest.

"Let's watch Pawn Stars," Sam yawed. "The shine that bounces off of Rick's head gives me hope."

That sounded like a good idea to Rachel, but before she could flip channels, the doorbell rang. Wondering who it could be, Rachel tossed the remote to Sam and lifted herself from the cushions, heading towards the front door. "If it's my dad I swear to Barbra," she mumbled under her breath. After the first time, she just wasn't in the mood for any more sudden appearances.

When she opened the door, she was a little surprised. "Santana?"

There was no greeting, "Let me in, Berry. This is important."

Rachel didn't hesitate to step aside and allow Santana to step over the threshold into her house. Rachel closed the door and looked at her houseguest. Santana had her hair tied back and was wearing a loose flannel shirt (that Rachel couldn't help but snicker at) and jeans. Just from that fact that she wasn't wearing one of her tight-dress-fur-vest combos told the singer that something wasn't right.

Sam stepped into the corridor and raised an eyebrow when he saw Santana. "What's going on?"

Rachel turned to her lightly drenched friend, wondering the same thing. Santana sighed and picked at her nails. "Brittany's cat, Charity, died."

Sam's first reaction was to laugh, but the look both Rachel and Santana gave him shot that straight to Hell. He clearly didn't know the seriousness in the situation and decided it would be best to keep quiet.

"Tell us what happened, Santana," Rachel instructed.

She nodded and let out a breath, "After the funeral, Britt and I went back to her house to watch some movies because things like funerals always get her down and stuff. When we got to her house Tubbington was running around and starting scratching the hell out of us. I was about to take my belt off and beat him down but Britt stopped me said that something was wrong."

Sam still didn't see the seriousness in the situation. Cats died every day and clearly Charity used up his last life. He knew he wasn't a cat person, but still.

Santana went on, "Eventually we went out into the backyard to find Charity, you know, dead under the tree. Britt almost fainted."

"Oh God," Rachel said. "That's terrible."

"I know," Santana replied. "She was so weak in the knees I had to help her into the house. Her mom came downstairs and tried to calm her down while her dad went outside to 'handle' Charity. Brittany locked herself in her room and I had to climb through her window just to get in. She clawed onto me and wouldn't let me go for hours. The only reason I'm here now is because Britt fell asleep."

"Poor Brittany," Sam sighed, honestly concerned over the dancer's condition. "How did it die?"

"Damned if I knew," Santana answered. "Cats die at random—could have been anything. All I know it that her dad went to buy a fucking casket and now we're having a funeral for the damn cat tomorrow."

Sam almost choked on his spit. "A funeral?"

Santana nodded. "They're going to bury it in the backyard, right next to Mr. Wiggles, her first cat."

Rachel couldn't believe it. Sure, she understood the pain of losing a pet but damn—a funeral?—it was certainly out of the ordinary.

"What do you want us to do?" Sam was the first to ask.

"I want you guys to call up the rest of the glee club and tell them what's going on—we're all going to the funeral," Santana said. "We have to support my girl because right now she needs all the support she can get."

Sam nodded and placed his hand on Santana's shoulder. "Of course we'll support her—we all love Brittany."

"You can count on us," Rachel added. "Just go back to Brittany before she wakes up and tell her that everything's going to be alright, okay?"

Before Santana could reply both Sam and Rachel engulfed her in a group hug. She accepted the embrace and thanked them for being such good friends. After that, she left to get back to her girlfriend before the blonde woke up to see that she wasn't by her side.

"I just hope Brittany isn't too beat up about this," Rachel sighed and she went looking for her phone.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "I just can't believe they're having an actual funeral for a cat."

The singer shrugged. "The cat has been a part of Brittany's life for a long time. It's the least they can do."

Sam begged to differ. "That's the most they can do. The least they can do is drop that cat in a dumpster and call it a day."

"Shut up and call the boys, Sam."


"How do I look?" Rachel questioned as he twirled around in front of her bull body mirror. She was wearing a simple black dress, one suited for a funeral, and matching black heels.

"You look fine, babe," he replied. Sam managed to find another black dress shirt and pair of black pants. Along with that, he wore his white tie that had a paw print sewn at the bottom. He hoped Brittany would like it. "How do I look?"

Rachel turned from her reflection to face her boyfriend. "The tie is adorable."

Sam looked down at the material as if he didn't already know what it looked like. "You think so?"

She answered him by tugging onto his tie and pulling down for a chaste kiss. "I know so."

Sam shivered from the kiss. "Keep that up and we just might have to snatch some afternoon delight after this funeral."

Rachel twisted away from Sam a little and waved her finger. "Sam, a woman and a cat are dead—I'm not in the mood."

That earned an eye roll from the jock but was followed by a small smile. Sam snaked his arm around Rachel's waist and walked her out of her room out to his car. Even though Brittany lived right around the corner from Rachel and walking to her house would literally take three minutes, Sam decided to drive anyway. Coming upon the Pierce residence, Rachel noticed cars that belonged to some of the glee clubbers. Not everyone's car was there so there must have been some easy carpooling.

Brittany's dad, Ethan, was the one who answered the door. This being his first time meeting Ethan, Sam was surprised by how built the man was. He was as tall as Finn and, from what he could see, looked like he hit the gym at least three times a week. His hair was a dark blonde, dark enough to almost make someone think that he dyed it or got lazy when it came to his highlights. Instead of the bright blue eyes Brittany possesses, his were a darker blue, gloomy even. His facial features weren't too far from his daughter's so Sam assumed Brittany acquired most of her looks from her dad.

"Hello, Mr. Pierce," Rachel greeted sweetly.

"Hey, Rachel," he said while taking a step back to let the pair in. he looked at Sam and extended his arm, "You must be Sam."

Sam shook the man's hand firmly, "That's me."

"Everyone's already outside," Ethan informed them. "Just head outside, we're going to start soon."

The couple wandered off into the backyard to find the rest of the New Directions awkwardly fiddling around, including Blaine, Jesse, and Brittany's little sister, Alyssa. The only people who weren't in attendance were Brittany, her parents, and Santana.

"I can't believe I'm attending a funeral for a cat," Rachel heard Kurt carp. "This is truly a low point in my life."

"Nah," Mike disagreed. "Dressing up as a damn talking rabbit was way worse."

"I never knew Brittany's Cat Lady Problems were so deep," Artie expressed. "It wasn't this bad when we were together."

"Wasn't she cheating on you when you guys were together?"

"Now is not the time, Finn," Mr. Schue sighed.

"Everyone shut the hell up and show some respect for the dead," Mercedes hissed. "Our Brittany lost one of her own and we're gonna show her how much we care, not complain like a bunch of bitches."

Puck was the first to step up to the diva. "Mercedes…It's. A. Cat. It's not like we're talking about a dead grandmother or something. Fuck, cats drop dead all the time. My dog takes out three of them a week for fun."

"Puck," Mercedes snapped back, "You don't get to speak to me until you shave that squirrel off your head, okay?"

Quinn busted out laughing because Mercedes was right in the money with that one. Lately, Puck had been getting creative with his mohawk and was actually letting it grow out to the point where it was some kind of comb over-hawk. While the badass made a face and retreated, Quinn continued to snort while Jesse rubbed what used to be a head full of hair.

"I just hope Brittany is okay," Tina voiced while she fiddled with the hem of her dress. "The last thing we need is the most energetic person in glee club glooming around like someone die-" she realized what she about to say and caught herself. "Nevermind."

"Damn, Tina," Lauren sighed. "That was almost messy."

"Ya'll got some issues," Alyssa said flatly, annoyed by how immature the teenagers around her were behaving. Out of everyone there, she appeared the most bored, scoffing the toe of her shoe against the finely cut grass. From the stories Brittany has told her about the little girl, a funeral—especially for a cat—was nothing to her. She just hoped it would all be over before Victorious came on.

After another ten minutes of waiting around and sorry attempts at trying to get Puck to calm down, Brittany's parents finally brought themselves out of the house. Not too far behind them were Santana and Brittany, Brittany clutching onto Santana's hand while Santana led them to their group of friends. All it took was one look at blue puffy eyes and a sunken face and suddenly it was more than just a funeral for a stupid cat.

"Everyone come this way," Brittany's mom, Hanna, instructed. Sam noticed that she looked more like Alyssa than Brittany, but still just as beautiful. Everyone did as they were told, following behind Ethan and Hanna deeper into the backyard until they were all surrounding a square hole in the ground with a small, mahogany casket already inside.

"Lord, this is legit, isn't it?" Jesse mumbled under his breath as he stared the shiny casket down. "I expected a shoebox or something, not a fucking casket."

"Well then you must not know Brittany too well because she is very passionate when it comes to her cats," Quinn whispered to him.

Santana and Brittany were the last ones to join the circle of friends and family. Brittany did her best to show some posture or seem presentable but it wasn't working well for her. Ethan settled beside her and allowed his daughter to rest her weary head on his shoulder. Hanna stood beside Santana and decided that it was time to start the service.

"Thank you all for coming," she announced. "We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of a very special member of our family: Charity Pierce. From the day Brittany and Santana saved her from that man hungry Golden Retriever ten years ago, she made her mark and has had a special place in our hearts ever since."

Brittany whimpered a bit.

Hanna continued to talk about all things Charity did in her lifetime—the dead birds she dragged into the house, hiding in the mailbox, pissing in heels, scratching the hell out of Ethan when he messed with her tail—each memory earning more and more silent tears from Brittany. Hanna continued to bring up the bad and good times until Lord Tubbington showed up and parked himself a few feet away from the casket. Everyone got quiet then, watching and waiting for a reaction from the feline. Santana was sure he was going to start freaking out like he did the day they found Charity under the tree, but surprisingly, he sat there, not even bothering to make any noises.

"He's so sad he can't even speak," Brittany explained, barely above a whisper. Her dad choked up a little from how broken his daughter sounded, but quickly regained his posture and kissed Brittany's forehead.

After Brittany said that no one said a word. It got to the point where it was so quiet it was beginning to get awkward, and not just any awkward, it was that funeral-type awkward. Finn leaned into Mike and asked, "What do we do now?"

Mike shrugged. "Sing something."

Blaine overheard them and decided that it was way past due for a song. He cleared his throat and started singing, "Everybody wants to be a cat-"

Unfortunately, the Warbler didn't even get to finish due to Kurt punching him in the stomach, damn near making him fall to the ground. "Have you lost your damn mind?" he hissed. "That is not an appropriate song for you to sing."

"But it's a song about cats-"

"I don't give a damn!" Kurt almost shouted while Blaine tried to collect himself. "Get your shit together."

Sam decided enough was enough and that he needed to do something to bring in some kind of joy before Brittany's dad shut everything down. Not even bothering to ask if it was a good idea after Blaine's failed attempt, he cleared his throat and started singing.

From the day we arrive on the planet
And, blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done

Surprisingly, Puck was the third person—following Brittany and Ethan—to start choking up. Alyssa, who was standing beside him, took the liberty of holding his hand and telling him to man up. Lauren smiled and grabbed Puck's other hand. Just the sight of the three of them holding hands was enough to lift Brittany's head from her dad's shoulder and flash her first smile in what seemed like forever. Seeing Brittany smile made Santana happier than she'd been in days and gave her the energy to follow Sam's lead.

There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

Brittany was full on beaming now and wouldn't take her eyes off of her girlfriend. Santana was so happy that she stood on her toes and placed a loving kiss to the blonde's lips. All of the glee clubbers were so moved by the gesture that they all joined in on the song.

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life

By this time there wasn't a dry eye in the circle. Everyone was holding hands and trying to keep themselves together. Puck was an absolute wreck and had to use the back of his hand to keep the tears at bay. Not only Brittany, but also her parents and her sister joined in. The whole situation was silly and pathetic because they were all literally crying over a cat but none of that really mattered because the funeral turned into some weird celebration of life. Brittany was crying and Santana was crying and Puck was crying but nobody cared because it was all just so seamless.

The Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life


"I still can't believe Puck cried," Rachel said as she as Sam walked into the choir room. Nobody really knows why Puck got so emotional and Lauren couldn't get a legit answer from him no matter how many times she tried. "I don't think I've ever seen him like that before."

"I don't think anyone has," Sam answered. "Everyone has a soft side I guess."

Slowly, all of the New Directions began to shuffle into the room. When Brittany and Santana finally walked in they were instantly attacked by Puck, who pulled them into a giant embrace and nearly lifted them off the ground. The two girls laughed and Santana told him to put her down before she got mad even though she had a huge smile on her face. Still, no one was sure as to why the badass was being so unlike himself, but there were no complaints.

When Mr. Schue entered the room everyone got quiet and took their seats. The Spanish teacher faced his students (and Jesse) and smiled at all of them. "I don't think any of you realize how proud I am of all of you. The past few days have been really hectic, what with us losing two soldiers and all, but you guys have really pulled through and showed me how much of a team you really can be."

"Thanks, Mr. Schue," Rachel smiled.

"That really means a lot to us," Finn followed.

Mr. Schue nodded and turned his attention to Brittany. "I'm especially proud of you Brittany, for being the strong person that you are even during the toughest times."

The blonde smiled and turned to Santana, who hadn't taken her eyes off her since glee club started. "Thank you, Mr. Schue," the blonde said even though she was looking at Santana.

"Well in other news," he continued, "Sue has decided that she won't bother us anymore after you guys helped her through her sister's death, which she told me to thank you guys for."

Kurt and Finn smiled, both proud of themselves.

"On that note, let's talk about Nationals-"

Rachel perked up, "Yes, yes, yes! Tell us who won!"

"I don't even want to hear it," Santana was quick to say, tearing her eyes from Brittany. "That audition was rigged all up and through, right Kurt?"

"Uh…"

Jesse stood from his seat beside Quinn and walked through the chairs to back Mr. Schue up. "There was nothing rigged about it."

Mercedes snorted.

"Rachel showed me pure talent the other day and that's why she won."

Hearing that Rachel shot up from her seat and did a little victory dance in front of everyone. Everyone did some half-ass clapping because Rachel getting a solo wasn't anything new to them. If it wasn't for Brittany, Santana would have pounced on the little diva.

"Well done, baby," Sam congratulated. "You deserve it."

Mercedes snorted again, "My ass."

Artie snickered. "There sure is a lot of hate going on in this room."

"Come on guys," Finn spoke, trying to take his place as leader. "We don't need to bicker like this when we're so close to Nationals."

"Oh great, now Finn feels the need to preach to us," Santana sighed.

"With good reason," Jesse defended, surprising a few people in the process. "Finn's right. We got Nationals right around the corner and we can't let something like a solo throw us off. With Sue on our side and the teamwork you guys possess, we got Nationals in the bag."

"You damn right we do," Sam said. "And we're gonna win. May Zeus strike me down if we don't."


Songs used:

The Little Mermaid - Les Poissons

Hocus Pocus – I Put a Spell on You

Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella – Falling in Love with Love

The Princess and the Frog – Almost There

The Hunchback of Notre Dame – God Help the Outcasts

The Lion King – Circle of Life