WARNING/AN:

THIS IS A COMPLETE

AND TOTAL

CRACK-FIC!

PLEASE PROCEED

WITH EXTREME CAUTION.

MAY CONTAIN, BUT IS NOT LIMITED to, THE FOLLOWING:

1. FIYERABA FLUFFLE

2. BESSA FLUFFLE

3. ME AND MY FRIENDS LINDA, RYLEE, AND BREE AND/OR OUR INSANITY

4. EDGAR ALLAN POE REFS.

5. TWILIGHT SAGA REFS.

6. NANCY DREW REFS.

7. (A) MARY SUE(S)

8. (A) GARY STU(S)

9. UTTER NONSENSE

10. CRAP THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL

11. COMPLETE AND TOTAL RANDOMNESS

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

AND HAVE A NICE DAY!

LOVE YA!

-MAGGIE :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BREMELA! THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, GIRL! *hugs & gives giant Wicked birthday cake w/ candles & a present*


One day, Maggie, Bree, Linda, and Rylee were in an old fashioned garden that looked like it belonged with a fancy house out of a Victorian era movie.

They had on matching vintage Gunne Sax prairie style dresses with high white lace collars and sheer sleeves that went to their wrists. The dresses were lilac covered with pink roses and brushed the floor when the girls held them on their hangers.

They were also wearing matching make-up and jewelry. Their necklaces were simple chokers; a cameo with a green background on a black velvet band. The rings that each girl was wearing on her right ring finger had a gold setting and were cameos of roses on pink backgrounds.

Each girl was wearing shimmery emerald green eyeshadow, black eyeliner and mascara, and bright red lipstick in a shade called "Wicked," just like their favorite musical, which was why they liked it and were wearing it. They all had just the tiniest hint of rose pink blush tinting their cheeks.

They wore old-fashioned white lace-up ankle boots with 1 1/4 inch heels-they were basically Pragues, but instead of black, blue, or brown, the girls had somehow gotten hold of white ones.

Maggie's dyed black hair was pulled into a loose, purposely sloppy braid with a rose pink ribbon tied on the end. The other girls had matching braids with ribbons of different colors; Bree's was lilac, Linda's was pale yellow, and Rylee's was pale blue.

They were sitting in a white gazebo that had pink, red, yellow, and white roses growing up one of the supporting wooden columns, orange blossoms, lilacs, and freesia in various colors on another, morning glories in various colors and shades on the third, and on the last one, lilies-of-the-valley.

They were sitting in antique white wicker chairs with floral patterned cushions around a circular table with a beautiful vintage table cloth over it that had lace on the edges.

There was a white tea set with pink roses painted on the various pieces of the set sitting on the table and the girls were having a "sophisticated party of sophistication," which was really just their ridiculous, personal way of saying vintage themed tea party, hence everything being either vintage or antique.

They each had vintage white napkins and hankies with lace on the edges, and the lace on each girl's napkin and hankie matched the ribbon in her hair.

"So," Maggie said in an imitation of a British accent, lifting her tea cup from its saucer. The thing was though, that she was so good at imitating voices and accents, that it sounded real, and if the others didn't know any better, they'd say she really was British.

"Miss Bree." Bree looked up. She'd been stirring her tea, trying to dissolve the sugar she'd just put into it. "Yes, Miss Maggie?" she replied, also speaking as if she were British.

They were all pretending that they were from nineteenth century England and were "sophisticated young ladies with proper manners," as they liked to put it. Maggie always liked to imagine that they had just stepped right out of a Jane Austen book. Pride and Prejudice, maybe, which she was currently reading.

"I understand that your birthday is coming up next week, is that correct?" Maggie asked, setting her cup down.

"Yes, I seem to recall hearing that as well," Linda said. Bree set her spoon down on the edge of her saucer. "That's right," she told them, "A week from...oh, about two or three days ago, I suppose."

"Well, then we must make plans immediately!" Rylee said eagerly. "Perhaps we could, oh, I don't know, go on a trip down the rabbit hole to Underland and visit Alice and the Hatter! Or Miss Maggie could use her new magical ablities to take us to Oz, and we could visit Miss Elphaba and Master Fiyero!"

"Yes, you're right!" Linda agreed. "Perhaps we might even be able to go to Hogwarts and bother Proffessor Snape with Ron and Harry!"

"Why not go to Forks and visit with the Cullens and wolves?" Maggie asked, though she knew in her heart it was a lost cause. Sure enough, the others all agreed they didn't want to.

Even though she was disappointed, Maggie tried not to let it show, or allow her heart sink too much, though she knew it was going to sink at least a bit, anyway.

"What about if we go annoy Charlie?" Linda suggested. "The Unicorn?" Bree asked. "No," Linda said sarcastically, "of course not. I meant Charlie the Magical Flying Rainbow Hippie Hobo Kumquat. Yes, Charlie the Unicorn, who did you think I meant?"

"Calm down, no arguing," Maggie said, ever the peace-keeper. "I for one vote that we go irritate Señora Gudiccelli out of her wits!" Bree announced.

"I know that it is your birthday we're talking about," Linda said, "but what if she sings?" There was a beat of silence as the girls looked around at each other.

"Well," Maggie said slowly as she put a spoonful of sugar into her tea and began stirring. "We could always just stuff cotton balls into our ears. Or, perhaps, sing right back at her?"

"Yes, but you're actually a good singer, Maggie," Rylee countered. "She's not."

Maggie fell silent for several moments while the other girls continued throwing out suggestions, all the while keeping up the British accents.

Maggie slowly and quietly stirred the sugar into her tea, her hazel eyes cast downwards. She watched the liquid swirl around and around in her cup. "Like a whirlpool," she thought. "A small, brown whirlpool. Hm...I wonder if..."

She smiled and looked up. "I've got it," she said. The others went silent and turned to look at her. "Well?" Linda asked. "What is it, then?"

"Out with it!" Rylee added. "Well..." Maggie began as she bit into a Danish butter cookie. She chewed slowly, just for the sake of torturing her friends with anticipation as they stared at her with wide eyed curiosity.

"Hurry up!" Bree cried. Maggie set the cookie down on her plate.

"I was just thinking...We can still annoy Señora, you know. We'd have to stuff cotton balls in our ears, mind you, like I said earlier, but with what I have in mind, it'll probably be well worth it."

"Go on."

Maggie looked at each of her friends in turn, still smiling.

"Anybody got a Punjab lasso?"


AN: What have I got planned for Bree's birthday celebration that could POSSIBLY involve Carlotta Guddiccelli and a Punjab lasso? Hm...Let's just say that to pull this off, we'll need the help of a certain trio from a certain place whose, uh...unofficial leader, I guess is the best term, is a certain green girl...*grins mischievously* Keep guessing, my pretties, keep guessing. Bremela, (Bree's FF pen name) let me know in a PM EXACTLY what day your birthday is on and how old you're going to be, and I promise to try my best to have the next chappie up by your actual b-day! I know I told you it was going to be a one shot, but then I actually started writing it, and it just sort of evolved into what I have here, and "Anybody got a Punjab lasso" just seemed like something for chapter ending, so...*shrugs* Also, idk if your a fan of Phantom of the Opera, or if you've even seen it-though I'm going to assume you have, cuz, c'mon, it's Phantom-but I've been re-reading "Phantom of the Opera on FACEBOOK" again, so...*shrugs* Yeah. Hope you like it, Brem! And you too, everybody else!

xoxo with extra love and a b-day hug (hey, that rhymed!) for Bremela/Bree,

Maggie & the Gang

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned...except for myself...and Bree, Linda, and Rylee own themselves, respectively. The other characters mentioned belong to their respectful owners, as do the places. I DO, however, actually own a thing of bright red lipstick, the shade of which really is called Wicked, no joke, as well as a vintage Gunne Sax dress from the early 80's that I just got yesterday along with an awesome green hippie-looking shirt (which i'm wearing right now!) and that...uh...just happens *coughcough* to be identical to the one's we're wearing...*coughcough* WHAT? No, of COURSE I didn't deliberately make our dresses exact copies of-Eh, forget it, you caught me red-handed. Oh, I also own a severe case of A.D.O.S. What's that? You wanna know what it stands for? It stands for Attention Deficit-OOOOOOH, SHINY!...Wait, what were we talking about?

Wow. Longest. Disclaimer. EVER. And I don't think I've EVER rambled that much in an AN before, and lemme tell ya'll, I have had some DOOZIES. Buy you know what? Who cares? I am going to shut up now. *chases shiny object*