Disclaimer; I do not own The 4400
Summery: Shawn's reaction to Danny's death.
When Shawn first realized that he could heal and hurt he hadn't exactly used it for the best of purposes. In fact it was when Shawn nearly killed Danny is when Shawn realized he wasn't the safest person to be around at the time. So he had gone to Jordan back when he believed in him. Despite how it turned out, he had still been glad he had gone so he could become the person he was, healing all the people.
Then his brother had come to him and asked him for Promicin and he had given it him, but told him to wait. He wished he never would have given it to him, even though his knew his brother probably would have just got it somewhere more dangerous. Besides he had understood that Danny had wanted what his brother and cousin had. Though sometimes he wished he was normal like he used to be, most of the time he liked being special. Especially since that was was what he used to do for a living heal people.
It wasn't fair that was the front most thing in his mind. All Danny had wanted was to special, and what he got was an ability that had killed half the city, including their mom. He had done the responsible thing, and stopped his ability from being able to kill anyone else, which meant it would have killed him. When Danny had asked him to kill him, he never would have thought that he would ever do it, but he did his brother had begged him. Shawn hadn't wanted Danny to suffer any more then he needed to. It was the hardest thing he ever did in his life.
Now he had stood in front of his grave stone. He could hear the people on the outside screaming how Danny was a murderer. People hated his brother for all the deaths that he had caused . All he had wanted was an ability like his or like Kyle, and he had gotten one that was devastating. .
Then uncle Tommy and Kyle had come to him, and said they would be a family. He let himself believe that for awhile, but he knew eventually their views of the world would clash again and they'd be opposite sides again. It was nice for that little bit just to surrounded by family. To pretend he was part of a family. A little denial could go a long way.