So I wrote this for Extra credit for my Latin class a while back. I tried to poke some fun at The Aeneid, but it might not be all that funny. It's my first fanfic ever. I hope you like it! Reviews would be nice.
Turnus was dead. His eyes stuck in a glassy stare, a look of terror on his face. Aeneas was triumphant. The crowd was quiet for a moment, Aeneas was afraid they were mad. After all, Turnus' close comrades were among the people in the crowd, watching their fight. Then, the crowd burst into a cheer, and they all greeted the victor. At the end of the celebration Latinus spoke.
"Aeneas has defeated Turnus. He shall soon be the husband of my daughter Lavinia, but first we will bury Turnus and have a banquet to celebrate the end of this terrible war. When I die Aeneas will be ruler."
The crowd cheered again. Aeneas cheered along with them, thinking that his journey had finally ended. Turnus' body was burned and his ashes were given to his sister Iuturna. The Latins then spent the rest of the day mourning the death of Turnus. Aeneas pretended to mourn. Turnus had caused him great pain and struggle, and Aeneas was rather glad he was dead.
The next two days were spent preparing for a great feast. The men hunted the largest animals in the forest, and the women cooked the meat after it had been caught and killed. After a sacrifice to Jupiter, the feasting began. The banquet lasted for 3 days. There was much food, wine, and dancing. Aeneas told the story of the Trojan War and his journey to Italy. This alone took the entire second day of the feast. The Latins were greatly moved by his story, many of them cried during some of the more emotional parts. After the feast everyone went home and slept for a day.
Aeneas returned to his camp, drunk from having too much wine, and fell into a deep sleep. During his slumber, his mother Venus visited him. She told him something very important, but Aeneas did not remember the dream when he woke up.
Once they had recovered from the great feast, the wedding of Aeneas and Lavinia was set to begin. Aeneas began the walk to the temple which he was to be married in. On his way there, he ran into his mother.
"Venus! My divine Mother!" Aeneas exclaimed, "How great it is you have decided to attend my wedding"
"Aeneas, my son, I have something very important to tell you-" Venus started, but Aeneas interrupted.
"I have waited for this day for many years. I sailed the seas aimlessly, fought in two horrible wars, and lost many people I loved. Now today, I will marry a beautiful woman and fulfill my destiny. Mother, I am eternally grateful for all of your help, and without you I would never have made it here."
"That's what I need to talk to you about Aeneas, you see-" but again, Aeneas cut her off.
"Oh dear, I'm running late! I need to get to the temple quickly. It was great to see you, mother." And at that, Aeneas ran off.
"Wait! I really need to talk to you!" Venus shouted to him, frustrated that she was not able to get a word in with him.
Aeneas raced to the temple, it was the happiest he'd felt in a long time. He was bursting with excitement, eager to accept his new wife, Lavinia. He still missed his old wife Creusa, but he knew that it was his destiny to move on.
He arrived at the temple, ready to marry Lavinia. Latinus was the one who would marry them. Everyone in the town of Latium, Aeneas' men, and even King Evander and some of his men showed up for the royal wedding. The temple was packed with people, all excited to see the wedding that at a time seemed like it would never come.
Lavinia entered the temple. She wore a beautiful white stola and a sheer veil covered her face. Everyone thought she looked extremely beautiful, and they cheered as she reached the altar to marry Aeneas.
The ceremony started off with a sacrifice to the Gods. After the sacrifice they said their vows. Latinus made a quick speech, and blessed the couple. As they were about to be married, they saw a strange man out in the distance. He was wearing gleaming silver armor and riding a white horse. He and his horse galloped closer to the temple.
"Who is this man that dares to interrupt my wedding?" Aeneas shouted and went off to see the mysterious man.
The man reached the temple and dismounted his horse. He took off his helmet, revealing his long, flowing, blond, hair. He looked around and said. "Ah, I see preparations for my wedding have been made, just as I was told they would be."
"Who are you and what gives you the authority to interrupt my wedding?" Aeneas asked him rudely.
"I am Ieneas. I rode across the continent, fought many battles in both Troy and Barbarian country, and now I have reached my destination. I pan to marry my princess, Lavinia, and start the great Roman Empire."
"What are you talking about? That's my destiny." Aeneas shouted. He did not like where this was going.
"Well it is also my destiny." Ieneas said, "I guess we will have to duel for it."
"Bring it on." Aeneas said as he pulled his sword out, ready yet again to fight for his destiny. The rest of the crowd groaned, tired of battle. The two were beginning the duel when Venus came down from the sky.
"AENEAS STOP! I have a very important message." Venus said
"Mother, thank goodness you are here." Aeneas said with a hint of anger in his voice, "This man claims to have the same destiny as me! You must talk some sense into him!"
"That's what I need to talk to you about, Aeneas. Jupiter and I, we," she hesitated, "We made a mistake with this whole destiny thing. We kind of read the scrolls wrong. I'm really sorry, but Ieneas is actually supposed to found the Roman Empire, not you. You see, the names are really similar and-"
"WHAT! AND YOU JUST FIGURED THIS OUT NOW!" Aeneas roared.
"Actually, uh, Juno kind of knew the whole time. That's why she kept trying to slow you down, so Ieneas would get here before you did. None of us took her seriously because of Paris and the golden apple thing and the-"
"SO I DID ALL THIS WORK FOR NOTHING!"
"Like I said, I'm really, really, sorry. Don't worry, we found your destiny. It was hidden behind another scroll. You are going to settle just a little bit north of here, near Gaul, and your descendents will have a child named Odoacer who will-" She continued on, but Aeneas didn't want to listen. He ran toward Latinus and Lavinia.
"Latinus marry us before-" he started, but what he saw shocked him.
"Oh, Lavinia," Ieneas said as he got to one knee, "Will you be my wife?" He presented her with a large, diamond ring.
"Lavinia, don't marry him, marry me. I'm the one you want, marry me." Aeneas shouted. He was raving like a lunatic.
"Ieneas, of course I'll marry you." She placed the ring on her finger and kissed Ieneas on the cheek, "Aeneas never gave me a ring." She added bitterly, before walking off with Ieneas, holding hands.
"Aww…" went everyone in the crowd, with the exception of Aeneas.
"This is not fair." Aeneas shouted, "I'm leaving, come men. He turned to leave, but all of his men, except for his son, did not follow. Aeneas turned around to see his men not following him. "I said, come men. Why aren't you coming with me?"
They hesitated, then one of the braver men spoke "Aeneas, we are sick and tired of following you around, chasing your seemingly nonexistent destiny. We haven't had a break in years. We are not going to climb mountains and fight barbarians with you just so you can fulfill your destiny. We want to stay here, watch the wedding, and settle down."
There was a very awkward silence for a few minutes, then Aeneas spoke "Fine then, stay, all of you stay. But I swear, my descendents, They're gonna come back. They're going to kill you emperor, destroy you empire, and cause the whole continent to fall into a dark age that will last a thousand years!" at that, Aeneas and his son turned away from them, heading north.
Once they were out of earshot, the citizens looked at each other and burst into uncontrollable laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, did you hear him? 'My descendents, they're gonna come back. They're going to kill you emperor, destroy you empire, and cause the whole continent to fall into a dark age that will last a thousand years!' yeah right, not on my watch Aeneas." Ieneas shouted merrily.
"Oh Ieneas, you're so funny." Lavinia laughed.
The wedding of Ieneas and Lavinia took place that day. They produced the ancestors of glorious Augustus. He is the greatest emperor of them all. His reign has brought us great peace and prosperity. His peace and prosperity will last thousands of years. His great empire will never fall.
A/N: In the year AD 476, Odoacer, a Germanic general, deposed of the last Western Roman Emperor. This caused Europe to fall into the dark ages, which lasted approximately 1000 years.