Author's Note: Our entry for the Twin Exchange February Challenge, Love in Unusual Places. If you love it, you can vote for it – the link is posted on our profile page!

The Hogwarts Express

Fred, George, Hermione & the Pheromone-Enhancing Chocolate-Flavoured Massage Liquid

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Hermione Granger, 19 years old, one-third of the much-celebrated and highly-lauded "Golden Trio", best friend to the world famous Boy-Who-Conquered, and ex-girlfriend to the magnanimous Ronald Weasley, was covered in chocolate.

It wasn't that she had spilled chocolate upon herself, thus creating the illusion of being covered in chocolate. It wasn't even the fault of the ever-clumsy Neville Longbottom and a series of unfortunate events that would have led with Hermione being covered in chocolate and Neville blustering out a sincere apology.

No, the coach was empty and Hermione hadn't moved from where she had been curled quite contentedly reading. One minute, she was completely chocolate-free, the next…well…not so much.

If she were a being of lesser intellect, sub-par deduction skills, and lacking a vast knowledge of the way of the world, Hermione's first thought would have gone – and rightly so – to magic. She would have come to the conclusion that it was simply magic that had her suddenly covered in the sweet, exotic confection that she admitted could have been a far less pleasant substance.

But Hermione was not a lesser intellect. Her deduction skills were definitely above-par, and she was well acquainted with the ways of the world.


To an untrained observer, it would be easy to assume that the bushy-haired – chocolate-tangled notwithstanding – brunette had lost her mind and was screaming into thin air. A movement of air and the sudden appearance of two, madly-grinning redheads showed that she was not, in fact, alone.

"Why Miss Granger, you look positively good enough to eat," Fred Weasley teased, ducking quickly behind his twin as the infuriated younger witch took a menacing step towards the pair.

"Now now, Granger, no need to get that look of homicidal lunacy in your eyes. It's easily fixed," George said calmly, producing his wand and giving a casual wave with confidence.

Nothing happened.

"Er…George…you said it was reversible," Fred murmured.

"Isn't it? I didn't notice," George replied sarcastically, though both he and his twin took a step backwards as the chocolate-covered hand in front of them suddenly held aloft a very clean-looking wand.

"I agreed to let you two come aboard with me under the strictest of terms," Hermione hissed, blinking rapidly to stop her eyes from stinging. "I'm all for fun and games, and while I don't approve of you hocking your utterly useless toys on the train, I did it because you said you would be on your best behaviour!"

"Useless?" one of the twins said incredulously, the other saying "Toys?" at the same time, but both shutting up as she took another step towards them.

"What on earth could have possibly possessed you to dump a balloon full of melted chocolate on me? And I'm warning you, if I don't like the answer, I'll start hexing off limbs, starting with your favourite," she said.

Subtly, both twins covered the front of their trousers before giving Hermione matching, heart-melting smiles.

"Well…seeing as we have quite a ways to go before we reach the Hogwarts castle," George started.

"…and the company was being particularly elusive," Fred added, giving her a pointed look after flicking his eyes to the book she had been reading.

"We thought we'd experiment. We were trying to get it out of the door of the compartment while still under a disillusionment charm but then-"

"I'm sorry. You were trying to what?" Hermione interrupted, wand nearly shaking as she felt the chocolate start to dry in patchy stickiness on her skin.

"It was better in theory," Fred explained. "But we thought…if we could get it out…"

"We could get it to the Slytherin compartment," George finished lamely.

"And instead, you got me," Hermione said, nostrils flaring. Deciding, however, that there really wasn't much point in keeping her wand trained on them if she didn't intend to do anything – and she was still too much of a stickler for the rules to do anything while on what was still technically school property, regardless of its location – she heaved a sigh and stowed her wand.

"I'm going to clean up," she announced, glaring at both of them and trying to will herself to maintain her anger but finding it difficult in the face of their adorable puppy-dog pouts. "Please try not to ruin anymore afternoons while I'm away."

And without another word, she walked out.

Navigating through gaping crowds of students was difficult enough without the inconvenience of being covered in a confection, but dripping chocolate onto the floor, Hermione felt like the train had grown at least three cars as she tried to get to bathroom without getting chocolate on anyone or anything. It was a daunting task, and by the time she reached the small room, she had never been more grateful for solitude.

Bending over the sink and running the tap, Hermione knew that she should have listened to her gut instinct that morning. It had screamed at her, as she was preparing to leave the comfort of the Burrow to finally finish her education at Hogwarts, to say 'no' to the twin's request of allowing them to accompany her on her journey. She knew that smuggling two known troublemakers onto the Hogwarts Express was a bad idea, and she knew that it would end in some type of embarrassing disaster.

In the aftermath of the war, however, the prospect of spending a year at Hogwarts without either Harry or Ron had brought on some loneliness for the young witch, who had spent most of the fall wrapped up in studies. Coming back to the Burrow for Christmas had been wonderful, but it only exacerbated the fact that the worst of winter was ahead of her, and for the first time in her life, she would be spending the last months of school without the two men she cared about most in the world.

This feeling, of course, left Hermione vulnerable to the charm of her ex-boyfriends older brothers. She convinced herself that she would enjoy the company, however mischievous, because it meant that she wouldn't be travelling alone.

As she scrubbed chocolate out of her hair, however, she wasn't sure the logic had been quite as sound as she had originally thought.

She had just started scrubbing her arms with the now-chocolatey bar of soap when the door slid open and Fred and George squeezed into the confined space, sliding the door shut behind them as Hermione found herself pressed against the sink.

"Er…" she said, struggling to turn to face them. "Do you mind?"

"No, I don't mind Fred being here, do you mind me being here, Fred?" George grinned down at her.

"No, I don't really mind you being here, George. In fact, it's quite… cosy," Fred answered, his face an equal expression on mischievous humour.

Hermione looked up between the two of them, distinctly aware that the water from her hair was running down her neck and most likely turning her crisp white shirt transparent. She had no doubt that the term 'drowned rat' currently applied to her appearance.

"Unless you are here to tell me you figured out how to charm this stuff off of me, then I am not interested," she warned, trying to squirm back around to face the mirror.

A hand on her hip and another on her shoulder stopped her restricted movements.

"Don't you want to know what we came in here for?" one of them asked her.

It could have just been the chocolate in her ears, but she was certain his voice had just dropped a few octaves.

"Maybe we should just show you what we are in here for?" the other suggested.

The bathroom stall felt as if it had suddenly shrunk to half its size and Hermione became distinctly aware for the first time just how close the three of them stood. The hand that had been resting on her hip slid up to her waist and she was turned back to face the two of them.

She should have seen the kiss coming, but her mind had been so focussed on the tingles she was experiencing by the movement of that hand that she was taken by surprised by soft lips against her own.

Her mind wasn't so befuddled that she would miss the second set of lips against her neck, slowly licking away some of the melted chocolate.

"We wanted to apologize for ruining your afternoon," those lips whispered in her ear, "and to show you the only way we know how to get rid of a bit of spilled chocolate."

She would have spluttered at his choice of words but she wasn't given the opportunity. She did all she could do, which was kiss back the lips that were so earnestly trying to gain her attention. Parts of her brain screamed at her to end what was happening, but the one part that could be heard above all others was telling her to let her hair down and just enjoy a good old-fashioned snog for once.

Of course, there was that part that continued to remind her that this was Fred and George, and that this could all be a part of another prank - to be splashed about in some public format, with the intent of causing as much humiliation as possible - but that just wasn't the twins style.

Fred and George's style, it seemed, came from their uncanny ability to anticipate the other's next move. They worked in tandem, and suddenly she realized she had become so lost in their kisses and touches that she hadn't noticed the removal of her shirt until one of those mouths was making its way slowly between her breasts, causing her to shiver and sigh.

Before she could protest, she was being jostled between them as the two men manoeuvred around in the cramped space. Hermione began to wonder if there was something a little more than cocoa slipped into the chocolate as she experienced a dizzying moment - flashes of red hair, swaths of fabric falling between them and that shivery mixed feeling of anticipation and doubt.

It had been an awfully long time since she'd had a good shag, and Merlin knew Ron hadn't been the one to provide her with those feelings of satisfaction. But as she stood now, semi-nude, between the Weasley Twins, she wondered if their reputation had some truth to it. Perhaps shirking modesty and resisting the urge to ask one of them to leave the room would give her what she now only realized she had been craving.

Now the room had stopped spinning, she could see a shirtless Fred sitting on the toilet seat before her, which meant it was George standing behind her, stroking his large calloused hands up and down her bare sides.

"A smarter girl would leave now," she grinned, leaning back into the hard chest behind her, melting into his addictive touch.

"That's the thing though, Granger, there are no smarter girls," Fred replied, reaching out to pull her between his legs.

She opened her mouth to protest, but George's fingers were undoing the clip at the back of her bra and his fingers slipping around the front to push down the straps down her arms, baring her to his brother. Her breath hitched as George's mouth found the soft skin just under her ear and Fred's fingers reached forward to remove her skirt.

She shivered in painful awareness as she stepped out of the pile of clothing at her feet.

Fred wasted no time in tangling his fingers in the triangle of chestnut curls at the apex of her thighs. His fingers quick and sure as he pulled her body closer into his.

It was so much so fast, she found she couldn't think clearly as one long finger parted her folds and found her wet nub easily. She drew a shuddering gasp as he began to circle it, his touch so light that she found herself writhing against his hand in order to gain more contact.

George moved around to cover her breasts with both palms, the heat radiating from his body and Fred's bold touch had her grinding back in arousal. Her eyes slid closed as she effectively surrendered to their touch.

Taking her hand from on top of Georges where he had moved to tweaking nipples, she reached a hand back and grasped his straining manhood through the denim jeans he wore. He groaned against her neck and his teeth grazed her ear. It was her turn to buck against the hand between her thighs and with a breathy chuckle she watched Fred wink at her boldly, finally pressed into her hard, rubbing up and down, his finger dipping ever so slightly into her pulsing opening.

Her traitorous body was under the impression that she had been starved for pleasure, and seemed to be humming as the two men assaulted her senses and showed her that they knew exactly what she wanted, even before she knew it. Those familiar feeling of warmth spread throughout her belly and she realized with a breathless moan that a few touches from the two of them was all it was going to take to get her off.

She knew she wouldn't hold out much longer if they kept up the un-relentless pace and began pushing back into his hand, enjoying the intense feelings for a moment longer before she forced herself to pull away. Bending at the waist, she let George's hands trail back down to her hip as she took back some control and kissed his brother with every pent up feeling she currently had coursing through her.

She cried out against Fred's mouth when he reached up to fondle her breasts, his touch much more determined than his brother, who was now sliding his palms up her thighs to resume the delicious torture.

She began to fumble with the belt buckle in front of her, crying out again as George's fingers parted her folds once again and slowly pushed their way into her body, her task suddenly becoming all that much harder as she struggled to concentrate. She was rewarded when Fred's engorged member sprang free from its confines and she left his mouth to push his shirt from his shoulders, trailing kisses along his exposed chest until she hovered inches from his erection.

The whole room once again seemed to spin as she bent over double to take his long cock into her mouth, trailing her tongue up the underside and receiving a sharp cry as reward. She ground back against George's hand in time to the movement of her mouth and hand, feeling his own erection nudge against her behind through the jeans she hoped he would take off soon.

She became lost in the whole experience, overwhelmed by their intuitive touches and uncontrolled reactions. Before long, Fred's fingers had become impossibly tangled in her hand and George's jeans had gone missing, his bare skin pressing hard against hers with unbearable heat.

Trapped between the two men in possibly the most unromantic location she could have thought of to have her first threesome, she said the only word that had been chanting through her mind, "Please."

She didn't see the shared look that passed between the twins, but she certainly felt their reaction to her pleasured plea. Fred surged far into her throat with a cry and George's insistent fingers were suddenly replaced with something much thicker, longer and blunter.

Hermione had thought the experience before now had been overwhelming, but that dizziness returned when they surged into her simultaneously. She moaned as her fingers dug into Fred's thighs, her nails leaving angry red marks as George made the most of her position and surged into her over and over again.

In this arena, the two men couldn't have been more different, yet so right together. She lost track of whose hands were where, but she soon learned that it wasn't just practical jokes that the twins excelled at.

It wasn't long before the same intense feeling began to well in her stomach, her release imminent as a rhythm was created and the pace never wavered. She felt her muscles begin to tense, her thighs already shaking with strain as George pushed her body to its limits from behind.

She pulled away from Fred, whose head had dropped back with pleasure against the wall, his eyed closed and his breathing heavy. She replaced her mouth with her hand, her head dropping to rest against his stomach as she cried out with the first wave of pleasure.

Her orgasm came quickly, her body bucking wildly as she used the man in front of her to ground her, her arms wrapping with force around his torso. George wasn't able to push through her blinding pleasure and she heard his cry follow hers, his body slumping limply against her back as she concentrate her last efforts on having Fred join them.

It was only seconds later she felt his stomach muscles bunch beneath her cheek, his fingers contracting in her hair as he found release.

It took several minutes for the three of them to catch their breaths, but once they did, Hermione was the first to realize that their recent actions would undoubtedly have its consequences.

"For fuck's sake, open up, whoever you are, there's a queue!" a voice suddenly said, followed by a loud, insistent wrap on the door.

Standing up quickly, Hermione gave a slight squeal as George, who had been unprepared for her movement, gripped her hips to catch his balance, sending both of them back into the wall.

"It's not funny," George grumbled to his howling twin, nursing his bruised rib as he moved away from Hermione toward their clothes.

"No, it certainly is not," Hermione replied, looking down at herself forlornly, considering that now, chocolate was the least objectionable substance on her body.

Fred smiled, and pulling his wand from a place that Hermione would rather not know, gave a flick.

Instantly she was clean. Including all of the chocolate.

"Hey!" she cried, putting her hands on her hips and ignoring that all her credibility was lost in the fact that she was still naked. "If you could do that, why didn't you…"

"Aw, where would the fun have been in that, Granger?" George asked, buckling himself back up as he handed her back her now-clean clothes. "Besides, would you have rather us not have burst in to take you in a manly fashion?"

She had the good grace to blush as she dressed.

"Besides," Fred added, shrugging back into his shirt. "You helped us test our new Wonder Witch product."

"Your…your new what?"

"We're branching out a bit. Edible treats."

"Like lubricants."

"And underwear."

"And pheromone-enhancing chocolate-flavoured massage liquid," George finished with a grin.

Hermione looked back and forth, comprehension dawning on her.

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Well, I'm glad you've had your laughs with your guinea pig," she finally said, throwing her nose in the air in an attempt to keep the tears away.

They both, however, were at her side immediately.

"We didn't mean it that way, 'Mione," Fred said gently.

"To be honest, we thought the best part of it was it gave us an opportunity to be with you," George added, turning her face to his.

"The fact that it works was only icing on the cake, because we intend to repeat this as often as humanly possible," Fred teased.

"Preferably with less mess and more space," George murmured as he leaned down and caught the young witch's lips with his.

"And since you're Head Girl," Fred whispered, his body moulding to her back as his lips gazed her ear.

"And you have your own rooms," George added.

"With your own fireplace and floo connection…"

"…we thought we'd drop by."

"If you'll have us."

Hermione looked between the faces and sighed.

"Only if you promise to be on your best behaviour," she replied, a small grin of her own threatening to appear.

They broke into identical smiles.

"We promise nothing," they said before reminding her once again why two was always better than one.

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