disclaimer: digimon doesn't belong to me.
language. otherwise, it might as well be rated K.
implied taito.

sassy gay friend.

"But Yamato, you have to go shopping with me to be my sassy gay friend!" Mimi pouted, resuming her attempts to drag the blond into the high-fashion boutique.

Yamato stubbornly resisted, trying to wrench his hand free from what was quickly becoming the Mimi Tachikawa iron grip. "Your sassy what? No, Mimi, I'm not going in there."

"Sassy gay friend! Gosh, Yamato, watch a YouTube video, won't you? You know, give me relationship advice, prevent me from making disastrous fashion choices… which I obviously wouldn't, but still. All the girls say that gay men are just the best people to go shopping with and I've never had the experience, but now I will! Look at all the fun you've been missing out on!"

"Mimi, I have no idea how to be a sassy whatever."

The pink-haired girl huffed, tapping her foot impatiently. She didn't have time for this! There were dresses to try on! "Of course you can! You've already got the 'gay friend' part down, and I'm sure you can be sassy. Just look at that hair style. Quick, tell me I'm a stupid bitch."

"What?" Yamato's head was spinning; it was a lot of information to process. Or not process. Or whatever.

"Just do it."

"…You're a stupid bitch."

"Oh, hmm, okay. When you say it, it sounds less sassy and more just… mean. Don't you know how to be fabulous?"

"No." He sighed, trying to remember why he'd agreed to this in the first place.

"Okay, forget the dresses, we have areal gaymergency on our hands. Come on, we're going to watch videos." And then she was dragging him down the sidewalk again, this time searching desperately for an internet café.

"You know, I really think Taichi would be better suited for something like this—"

"Don't be ridiculous! Taichi doesn't have any fashion sense. No, I'm positive that you're the one who's supposed to be my SGF."

Yamato groaned, seeing absolutely no way out of this precarious situation. "Mimi. You're worse than Jun."

AN: And this is why I don't think they'd ever work as a ship, sexualities aside 8D;; Please review!