Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or it's characters.
First off, I would like to dedicate this story the to Heartless Harlot, who inspired me to write my own Glee Fic.
Secondly, I noticed that Rachel was taking a lot of crap from the Glee Club, and she just takes it. I've decided to write a Glee fic which shows rachel's inner strength and the self-confidence she once had in the first season. I hope I do her justice.
AN: Charice's In This Song will be featured, I know that the song was written by David Foster and it's actually Charice's song but in my story it will be Rachel's original song. I just thought it was a perfect fit for her.
So anyways I hope all of you enjoy it.
Rachel was playing with a few keys in her piano. On Christmas morning her Dads had surprised her by transforming their basment into her own personal music/dance studio for her. The place still needed work and the only eyesore was a single rickety lightbulb that never turned on, which hung above her new piano in the center of the room. They thought if she were well-versed in dance and singing, she might as well learn how to play the instruments as well. She had actually taken to the piano quite well, since she already knew how to read music notes, she was able to catch on quickly.
As she started to play with a few notes her thoughts were trailing back to what had happened in Glee Club earlier that week. As usual whenever she opened her mouth to express her ideas she was shot down by both her peers and her teacher. She couldn't understand why they wouldn't listen. What did she do that was so wrong? Why did everybody hate her so much?
She started to remember what Brittney had told her that day in the hallway. Was that really how everyone saw her? Sure, she knew that she could be self-centered, bossy and manipulative, but didn't any of them see any good qualities in her?
Apparently not. As she allowed her thoughts to move freely her heart gave a lurch. The most consistent thought she had was Finn. Her first love, or so she thought.
"What's happened to me?" she asked herself. "What have I become?"
A year ago, she never would've cared about what anybody thougth of her. She wouldn't have cared about having a boyfriend.
And yet here she was obsessing and scheming in order to get everyone's and ultimately Finn's approval.
"Well you know what?" Rachel thought to herself. "That's it."
She was done. She was finally done.
Enough was enough.
She would no longer stand for the constant ridicule she faced in Glee club, either they would hear her out or not at all ever again.
And as far as Finn went... well in the words of Puck, he could kiss her ass. She was through with begging for his forgiveness. Why was it only her wrongs that he focused on? The more she thought about Finn the angrier she got. She began to realize what a jerk he had been to her from the moment they met.
1. He kissed her in Audotorium while dating Quinn
2. He flirted with her just so he could get her back on Glee, so he can have a scholarship for college
3. He stood her up for their yearbook photo only because he was afraid of what the neandertholic football players thought
4. He chose football over Glee
5. He broke up with her in order to get in touch with his 'inner rockstar'. (It was only an excuse so he could date other girls). Afterwards he immediately tries to get back together and expected her to wait for him, and he constantly tried to steal her from Jesse.
6. He didn't stand up for her when Santana made fun of her wardrobe.
7. He refuses to forgive her for kissing Puck. And yet he was trying to steal Quinn from Sam
His final flaw infuriated Rachel the most. He had never stepped up as Captain of the Glee club. When she needed him to stand up for her in Glee club last week as she stated her original song idea, he stayed quiet. He only waited afterwards to tell her in private that he believed in her and that if he had said anything in the club it would've made no difference.
That was the point of a leader! To make a difference in the club! To persuade others to do what was best for the club!
But as usual he only cared about himself and his reputation. She looked down at the star necklace he had given her and she ripped it from her neck and threw it on the floor. She was done with Finn, if he wouldn't forgive her, that was just fine. She didn't need it. She didn't need him. It was time for her to make a comeback and find her own way. With or without the Glee club.
She finally started to pay attention to the notes she was playing. Her brow furrowed in confusion, this wasn't any song she was familiar with. She played the notes again and her eyes widened as she realized that it was her song.
Her very own song!
She eagerly paid attention to the notes as she started to write them down. Half an hour later she had an entire song composed. She squealed as she hugged the sheet music to her test. She had actually composed her very own song.
"Okay Rachel, calm down." She told herself. "I have the music, now all I need are the lyrics."
She started to play the notes again hoping for something to pop up, but nothing came along.
She gave a great big sigh and put her head in her hands. She took out her pink notbook and began to write her feelings down.
I don't know that this will accomplish, but I suppose writing about one's feelins is certainly better than cutting oneself or vomiting in the toilet. I've supposedly had an epiphany that I will no longer need the Glee club's approval, but how long will that last. I know myself better than anyone, and I'm perfectly capable of changing my mind, but I know that I don't want to. I don't want to be this needy, desperate person any longer. I don't want to rely on the approval of people who aren't even my true friends.
She paused at that. She realized that she was right. The only time they had ever shown her an ounce of kindness was when it was convenient for them or when they needed something. If they were her friends they would have told her about Finn's indesrcrestion with Santana.
She sighed as she once again started writing.
I don't know where I'm going now, it seems that eveywhere I turn there's always an obstacle that tries to tear me down. The only thing I can be sure of is singing. That's the one true constant that has never let me down. It doesn't matter what I feel or do, singing is the one thing that can express me for who I truly am. All I have to do is sing a song.
Rachel was suddenly blown away with inspiration. All she needed was a lightbulb in her head that would turn on, thus signifying her great idea. She heard a noise above her head and saw with great surprise the lone lightbulb shining right above her.
Rachel smiled and giggled at the irony, then she focused an began to play the beginning notes of her song. Then she opened her mouth and began to sing.
I may not know where I'm going now...
Okay people I need opinions.
What do you think?
It's a slow start I know but don't worry drama will be coming in the second chapter.
Please Read n Review