I always thought that Jack/Schuyler felt forced and unreal, more like lust than love. A first crush on Schuyler's side and an attempt to lie about his nature on Jack's. Mimi/Jack, on the other hand, felt like love because both knew each other. Both had their dark side and there was acceptance of it. I always felt that Jack hid what he was from Schuyler, that he was playing at being a saint, rather than the dark angel he is supposed to be. I also got the feeling that Jack went after Schuyler because she looked like her mother and yes I know that MDLC wrote that pithy short story in order to quell that feeling, but it still feels like that.
I don't own any of this, more's the pity. Kudos to Melissa De la Cruz for her tales and characters.
Jack woke slowly from the dark depths of dreamless sleep to the harsh brightness of a morning sun. His body was nestled against the soft warmth of another and he relished the familiar sensation. Sleepily he moved his fingers across her hips, drawing a soft contented sigh. Encouraged, his fingers trailed over her stomach and upwards. A sharp cry of pain drew him fully from the lassitude of sleep and he stopped moving, realisation and remembrance dragging him out of contented sleep.
"Mimi." He breathed as his eyes opened and ran across her body, looking for the bruises that he hoped were not there. She shifted onto her back and he groaned in despair, staring at the blue black marks that marred her creamy skin in shock. "Mimi.." He pulled back from her and leant back against the headboard, closing his eyes. He was remembering last night, remembering his anger and their fight, the surge of lust that he had almost suppressed in rage.
The shameful knowledge that at some level she was right burned through his mind like acid. The bed creaked as she sat up and he opened his eyes, watching her watching him. He looked away, remembering those same eyes filling with tears.
"I'm so sorry." He hung his head, not wanting to look at the damage he had caused, not wanting to know if he had finally killed her love for him. He felt the mattress shift and she was beside him, her arms holding him as he cried for what he had done. Why was he never gentle with her? She was a part of him, she understood him like no other. She had fallen from grace with him and he still pushed her aside.
"Abaddon." Her voice was soft, still Mimi but carrying with it the knowledge of centuries and he listened as he had always done. "What's done is done. You can't change your nature anymore than I can. At least you stopped before..." She stopped speaking and stared straight ahead, unwilling to voice her fears about the previous night.
She pulled away from him and stood up, barefoot and naked, she walked to the full length mirror and stared at her reflection, sorrow filling her expression at the bruises that lined her frame. "Why do you do this to us?" She turned back on him and her eyes were clear. "I love you in spite of your calling. Why is that not enough? Why must you constantly pull towards Gabrielle and the light that she rejected you from?"
"This isn't about Gabrielle."
"You have to stop lying to yourself Abaddon. Ask yourself why you love Schuyler Van Alen. Is it for her, or for her mother?"
He jerked back feeling the anger simmer again. "I love Schuyler, Allegra has nothing to do with it."
"Are you sure?" She wasn't being contrary, her voice was clear, simple and demanding that he look within. "Because if you wish to weaken us for love, then be very sure that this is right. Schuyler is Allegra's twin save for the hair, can you say for certain that you love Schuyler or are you settling for a lookalike because you can't have Gabrielle?"
"That's wrong.." he was finding it difficult to breathe, finding it hard to deny her valid questions.
"Or have you stopped loving me?" And there it was, the question that he never wanted to answer.
"Azrael." He buried his head in his hands. "Don't ask me that?" He could feel the bond between them strain under the pressure. He could feel her in his head as she could feel him in hers. They thought along the same lines, destined to be one. "Well have you?" The silence between them lengthened and she bowed her head, he could see tears filling her eyes. "I see." She picked up the shredded remnants of her clothing and dragged it on. In silence she finished dressing and then headed for the door. Jack watched her, feeling a heavy weight settle on his heart as she turned away. Visions of his past flowed through him, tormenting him. He was standing beside her on the Mayflower, in Rome and beyond. Back before the wars of heaven she had stood with him. She had soothed him, held him when he cried at his duty, comforted him as he healed from countless wounds and watched his back more times than he could count. Her hand reached for the door handle and cold ice rushed down his spine.
"I could never stop loving you." He blurted out, rushing across to remove her hand from the smooth brass. "Never."
"But you want to break our bond, you want to run off with this half blood copy of Allegra and yet you say you love me." Her voice snapped out at him, angrier than he had ever heard it. "What does this Schuyler know about you? She knows your charm and seduction and that is all. Does she know about the darkness within you? Would she follow you from Paradise on the coat tails of the Morningstar simply for love of you?" Her angry words sliced at him and he stepped back. "I doubt she would. She's a child who would see you risk your soul by having you break your bond while she flirts with another. It is clear that she loves her conduit, she made him her familiar." Mimi took a breath, her cheeks were flushed with anger and her glittered with tears.
"I love you Abaddon, have always loved you and all you do is trample on my heart. You lavish your Allegras and Schuylers with loving attention yet all you have for me is anger. So perhaps our bond should break as you clearly have no feeling for it."