AN: Additional disclaimer, I believe the Illithid belong to Wizards of the Coast.
A couple days later Ameila Bones sat patiently next to Alastor Moody's bed at St. Mungo's. They were talking through the events for again to look for inconsistencies. They had long ago discovered that Moody's eye couldn't see through walls in pensieve memories, not even the ones that he saw through during the actual event. It was particularly unfortunate in situations like this one where they were trying to identify an unknown suspect as the other Auror who was there, Shacklebolt, hadn't seen the man well enough for an image to form.
"Well, he was average height in his late thirties or early forties," Moody began for to describe him for the fourth time. "He looked thin like he was recovering from a long period of sickness or inactivity. His hair was dark blonde, or maybe light brown, the closet was dark. Most obviously, the left side of his face was very malformed, like he was on the wrong end of a beater's bat a few times then poorly healed, and his left eye was missing."
"Anything new that time?" Amelia asked even though she already knew.
"No Ma'am." The Rookie Auror who had been taking notes replied.
"Go get all of the records for people being treated for head trauma since the war ended." Amelia ordered.
"Yes Ma'am." The Auror saluted and walked out of the curtained area, closing the curtain behind him.
Alone with Bones for the first time since the confrontation Moody cast a privacy charm. "Okay, let me have it."
"What is wrong with you Moody? Have you completely lost your mind? If you weren't about to retire I would send you back to the academy!" Amelia berated angrily.
"I'm sorry Amelia." Moody said glumly.
"Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it." Amelia sighed. "You really disappointed me out there. You're not Harry Potter, you know?"
"Lucy in the sky with diadem!" Harry sang merrily as he sauntered over to a couch and flopped onto it. Once he was positioned comfortably on the couch he slipped the diadem onto his head and sighed as the now familiar pounding headache started up again as the transfer of information resumed. Harry didn't mind because it wasn't skull splitting like when there was no soul to regulate the flow and the sensation went away completely when he entered his mind-scape, so that's what he did.
Now instead of avalanching into his mind the packets of information were being organized and filed automatically by Lucius' soul. Lucius appeared to be glowing white and floated half a meter off the ground with his arms spread out like Jesus. Harry had been planning on 'discovering' the diadem on his first tomb raiding quest after Hogwart's but scrapped that plan when he saw how easily recognizable Lucius was.
"Hey kiddo." Older Harry greeted him and handed him a book. "Check out what I found."
Harry obligingly opened the book and found all of the information on the Caro Argentum spell, or silver flesh, that Voldemort had used to replace Wormtail's hand in the other time-line. Harry figured that, outside of himself, Voldemort and Dumbledore, no one on the British Isles would be able to cast it right now. The spell seemed very easy to cast and was very elegant despite the huge power requirements. It was even easy to see where Voldemort had modified it to kill Wormtail before Wormtail could betray him.
"You want to try it out, don't you?" Older Harry observed when he saw Harry's wistful smirk.
"Wouldn't you?" Harry snorted. "I mean, if that were an option."
"Only if there were someone I respected who recently lost a limb." Older Harry replied.
"Oh, so you only showed this to me in hopes that I would patch up Moody then?" Harry grinned.
"Naturally, you would have found it on your own soon enough." Older Harry nodded. "The other Moody died helping me get away from Privet Drive, I would very much like to help this one if I can."
"How sentimental." Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine. It's not like I don't owe you favors. But I'm doing this my way."
Hermione and Tonks were sitting in a corner of the study doing their Potions homework, Snape had clearly added to the load to compensate for them missing the last couple of weeks worth of classes, when Hestia and Gwenog strolled in.
"...that article, I swear Harry will be beating the girls back with sticks." Hestia said loudly. "You know how girls start getting at that age."
"Yea, I know that my thirteen year old self would have made an attempt." Gwenog nodded and started looking at the book titles on a shelf near the door.
Hestia chuckled. "My sixteen year old self would have tried if I thought he was ready."
Hermione and Tonks shared a look of concern and missed the sly glances that the Jones Sisters sent them.
"Ahh, here's that book we came in here for!" Gwenog said triumphantly as she took a book off the shelf at random.
"Excellent." Hestia grinned and the two walked out of the room.
"When he gets home tomorrow?" Tonks asked.
"Agreed." Hermione nodded and they both went back to trying to focus on the homework.
That night Harry maxed out his time turner over the same hour so that there were seven of him total. Each of them was wearing a different face and they all carried the dementor bone wand sheath that Harry had many a long time ago. He rarely used it due to its tendency to become magically saturated very quickly and stop masking Harry's magical signature. It was only good for a few small spells or one big one, then it had to cool down for a little over an hour, and that's why there were so many of him.
Having scouted under his invisibility cloak earlier in the day all seven Harries were able to warp directly to Moody's bedside. Harry 1, having used the turner once, stunned Moody and interrupted the monitoring charms, which would probably be noticed within ten minutes. Once that was done Harry 3 vanished the bandages from Moody's new wound and uncovered his old one. Harry 0 cast the spell and quickly attached Moody's new leg to his stump and then slid the sheath off of his wand to cool down, then started scratching an itch on his calf. Harry 3 followed up with a silent diffindo to remove the end of Moody's other stump and Harry 2 cast the spell for the second time before Moody bled too much, and then scratched his calf again with a frown. Harry 1 finished his part in the plan by summoning Moody's magical eye and handed it off to Harries 4 through 6, who cast a series of diagnostic charms and took down the results. Harry 3 placed it back in his eye socket and moved to a nearby table where he charmed a quill to write a note, and left the note on Moody's chest. Then all seven of them warped away. From start to finish they were there for just under 8 minutes and hadn't made any significant noise.
Exactly 79 seconds later a nurse rushed in to see what caused the problem with the charms. She came to a complete stop and stared slack jawed at what she saw. She reset the monitoring charms and rushed off to call in one of the fully qualified healers.
"You know that is really going to make it difficult for Crouch Jr. to impersonate him next year." Harry pointed out to his older self.
"Meh." Older Harry shrugged. "We don't honestly know that was going to happen anyway."
"Yea, but..." Harry trailed off with a vague hand motion and a look of mild confusion. "I don't know."
"You could always enter yourself." Older Harry suggested.
"Yea, but then I couldn't publicly swear on my magic that I had nothing to do with my entry." Harry frowned.
"True, but just wait and see what happens, you can always fall back on that as a Plan B." Older Harry advised.
"I suppose." Harry said glumly.
"Oh, cheer up, you just did some really cool magic. Thanks for that by the way." Older Harry smiled.
"You're welcome." Harry replied.
"That note was a nice touch too." Older Harry said and watched Harry smirk in response. "Most people would need more than one sentence to say everything they needed to."
Harry laughed. "Well, we're not most people."
"I should hope that most people aren't like this!" Older Harry laughed and motioned around the area, including himself and Lucius in the motion. "And I don't think the world could handle a second one of you anytime soon."
"Oy!" Harry shouted, still smiling. "Watch it bub!"
Alastor Moody slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was the lack of sunlight coming from outside. Then he moved his head and saw ten healers surrounding his bed, watching him curiously. "Well, spit it out then, what's wrong with me?"
"I'm sorry, we didn't mean to frighten you. Nothing is wrong." Andromeda said and handed him a piece of parchment. "Or at least not that we can tell."
Moody frowned and looked at the parchment curiously.
Don't expect another retirement present from us.
"Retirement present?" Moody asked alarmed.
"Calm down." Healer Smethwyck smiled. "We said we couldn't find anything wrong and we will be talking to Mr. Potter about this when he returns. I think you'll really like what they gave you though."
"Alright then, what is it?" Moody huffed.
"Ta-da!" Andromeda cried and pulled Moody's sheet off the bed.
"What the hell are those?" Moody yelled at the sight.
"Legs." A healer supplied sarcastically. "That's why we're all here, frankly none of us have ever seen anything like this before. I didn't even think it was possible to make prosthetic limbs with magic alone."
"Do they work?" Moody asked skeptically.
"We don't know, that's why we woke you up." Andromeda answered. "Why don't you try them out?"
"Carefully." Smethwyck cautioned.
"Right." Moody nodded and started systematically testing out his new legs and feet, starting with the one he just lost. After fifteen minutes he declared himself ready to try to stand and a healer stepped up to support him in case the legs couldn't support his weight. Ten minutes later he was walking with more ease than he could remember and after a further five minutes he gave into the temptation and ran for the first time since the early days of the war.
Several other patients had awoken during the earlier exclamations and were confused until Moody ran past them. They all knew the double amputee and cheered for his good fortune without caring to understand it.
Moody returned to he bed and sat down on it, grinning like a kid in a candy store. "Can we say that that bit was part of my treatment?"
"Okay, why?" Smethwyck frowned.
"Because then you're oath bound to never tell Amelia about that." Moody shuddered. "She would never let it go."
Over the next few minutes most of the patients in the ward fell back into sleep.
"You're dripping." Tonks noted as Hermione walked back into Tonks' room after taking a shower.
"The bottle said to not towel dry it." Hermione shrugged. "I got as much out with my hands as I could."
"Did the bottle also say how long it will take?" Tonks asked as Hermione laid a towel out on the floor behind a chair and sat down with her head tipped back so her hair would stay over the towel.
"Just a few minutes." Hermione sighed as the chair took the weight off of her neck. "No drying charms allowed. It was very insistent about that, I wonder what happens if you do."
"Do you want to find out?" Tonks asked cheekily.
"Almost as much as I never want to find out." Hermione laughed. "I'm sure I could just owl the company and ask."
"Hey check out these pants that Gwen lent me!" Tonks said cheerfully and held up a pair of green dragon hide pants where Hermione could see.
"I like. Are you sure they'll fit?"
"Auto-sizing charms!" Tonks nodded.
"Why does she even have those?" Hermione asked curiously.
"And I quote 'Cause they're hot!' end quote." Tonks replied and they both laughed.
"Oh! My hair just dried." Hermione said suddenly and touched her hair.
"I'll brush it for you." Tonks offered and moved over to stand behind Hermione. "This potion is really something." She noted after a few passes of the brush.
"Yea, Hestia suggested it. I need to think of a good way to thank her." Hermione smiled.
"I got something from Gwen for you too." Tonks said.
"You didn't have to do that." Hermione said and bit her lower lip.
"Now, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't look out for you too?" Tonks asked rhetorically and handed her a small jewelery box.
"Aww, you're so sweet." Hermione giggled and turned in her chair to give Tonks a quick kiss before letting Tonks go back to brushing. She opened the box and gasped when she saw the large emerald inside, a moment later she noticed the hair clasp that was attached to the rock. "Oh that's lovely."
"Check out the runes." Tonks suggested. "It's been enchanted to keep your hair in place and untangled, just the normal maintenance set but still."
"Yea." Hermione said and held the clasp up for closer inspection. "I can't wait for classes to start."
Tonks finished brushing her hair and started the first of two thin braids that would start at Hermione's temples and be pulled back to meet behind her head and be held in place with the clasp, Tonks kept hers pink but made it slightly shorter and spikier than normal. As she did that the two of them chatted about runes and arithmancy. The conversation continued as Hermione got dressed in a light green sun-dress and Tonks put on a white button up shirt, with the top button left undone, a black leather vest that only had one button buttoned, the green pants and a pair of classic Chucks.
The Black-Lupin-Jones-Tonks-Granger family conglomerate was gathered around front of the entrance room waiting for the Potter contingent to arrive. Hermione and Tonks sat together on a couch doing their best to be patient. The Jones sisters subtly watched them with great amusement and shared a whispered conversation. Sirius and Remus were at the far back of the group talking quietly about their ladies. The parents of the girls sat nearby to be polite and read, although Dan and Ted frequently shared a concerned glance that flickered back and forth from each other, to the girls, to Remus then back to each other before they would try to read again for a few minutes. None of them noticed as Harry silently walked in through a door behind them while sipping a butter beer.
"Hey guys." Harry said as he stepped up next to Sirius. "What are we doing?"
"Ah-haaa!" Sirius laughed and clapped his hands together once. " Classic!"
Harry's reply was cut off before it could start when Tonks cleared all of the obstacles at a surprising rate of speed and launched herself through the air like a missile. Harry grunted as the impact took him off his feet and down to the floor. "Your boobs are bigger." He said in a muffled voice, quietly enough so that only she could hear.
Tonks clambered off of him, laughing. "It's good to see you too Harry."
Hermione caught up to them and together she and Tonks helped Harry up off the floor. Once he was on his feet again Hermione threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Forgive me for not hugging you to the floor too but I can't run in this dress."
"That's okay." Harry returned her hug. "I like your hair."
"Oh, this?" Hermione asked as she pulled away. "It's nothing, just a new hair potion I've been playing with."
"You look great!" He looked her up and down then looked at Tonks. "Wow."
Hermione blushed and thanked him while Tonks grinned at him lecherously and stuck out her chest. "I had to fill out the vest."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Ted said as he stared resolutely at his book as laughter rang out around the room.
"Come sit down Harry." Andromeda said and motioned him towards them. "Tell us everything you're allowed to. I'm especially interested in Moody's late night visit."
"Late night visit?" Harry asked with a frown.
"You know, his legs." Andromeda tried again.
"Are you trying to make an amputee joke?" Harry asked grumpily. "Bit too soon, don't you think?"
"No, the silvery prosthetic things Gnicc gave him." Andromeda said frustrated. "We really need a name for them other than 'Moody's legs'."
"This is the first I'm hearing of it." Harry shrugged. "Sorry."
"Can you ask them to send someone we could talk to about it?" Andromeda asked.
"Eeee." Harry grimaced. "Sharing information isn't really their thing and only a few are cleared to meet new people. A list of questions would be more likely to get a positive response, but I'll ask anyway."
"A list could work." Andromeda said thoughtfully. "Hold off on asking until I can talk to the others."
"Happy to help." Harry said cheerfully.
"So, how was your time?" Sirius cut in. "Any brushes with death? Perceived rules of magic broken? Girls left wanting more?"
"Sirius!" Gwenog scolded.
Harry just laughed. "In order, two I think, perhaps, and no, it would have been highly inappropriate for any thoughts to be entertained between myself and any of the females that are there."
"Two brushes with death?" Hermione asked with great concern and started checking him for injuries, by touch.
"I'm fine." Harry smiled as she wasn't deterred. "Gnicc has a very good health care system. It's socialized!" No one got the joke, or maybe they just didn't think that making jokes during a conversation about actually almost dying was appropriate. These little rules always caught Harry off guard and he could never keep them straight. Harry shrugged and continued on. "The first time was when I hit that diamond I showed you the other day with an A.K. and it exploded at me. Gave it a bit too much juice or so I'm told. It didn't happen on anyone else's turn though.
"The second time is why I said 'I think' because it wouldn't have killed me, just left me a blithering insane lump who couldn't take care of himself." Harry laughed. "When in doubt, jab them in the eye, Mind Flayers don't like it anymore than people do."
"Mind Flayer?" Hermione asked as everyone stared at him silently.
"Think...human with an octopus for a head who eat consciousness." Harry described. "Their tentacles can excrete an acid that can burn straight through your head. A lot of people think they actually eat the brain, but they just stick their tentacles in there and suck up all the...whatever it is they actually eat."
"I think I'm happier not knowing about your time with them." Sirius said solemnly.
"Sometimes they capture people alive, ideally strong young wizards, and plant their young in the brains of their victims. They burrow in through the ear." Harry continued on in spite of Sirius' proclamation. "Babies gotta eat ya'know. Fortunately they don't seem to age so they don't need to reproduce very often."
"Stop talking!" Sirius shouted.
"I just thought you would want to take an interest in the events of my life." Harry said innocently and scratched the inside of his ear.
"You're just doing that to alarm me right?" Sirius asked nervously.
"Scratching your ear!" Sirius hissed and pointed.
"I'm not scratching my ear." Harry denied with a confused frown as he continued scratching his ear. Tonks giggling behind him finally broke his resolve and Harry burst into laughter.
"Oh thank Merlin." Sirius sighed. "Okay, to be clear, there are no babies eating your brains?"
"No." Harry shook his head.
"You're sure of this?"
"Absolutely." Harry nodded.
"And you'll let me know if that ever changes?" Sirius arched an eyebrow.
"Immediately." Harry smiled.
"So long as that's clear." Sirius nodded seriously.
"Moving on, challenging accepted rules of magic?" Hestia prompted.
"During that explosion the diamond managed to break my A.K into its components and in theory Gnicc can create a shield to block it completely by using that data."
"Seems like you were busy." Remus said.
"Quite." Harry nodded.
"And no one has even mentioned averting a war with a bank yet." Dan chimed in.
"It's almost like that was completely forgotten about until just this moment." Emma nodded.
"That's a strange observation." Hermione said and her mother just shrugged.
"But yeah." Harry chuckled and rubbed his neck. "That pretty much blew my schedule for the day."
There was a long pause before Sirius spoke up. "Is there anything else you want to say about that?"
"Oh! Um, no. I'm not really supposed to talk about what happened behind closed doors. The DP did a pretty good job of covering everything that I can talk about." Harry blushed. "Sorry."
"Speaking of secret meetings, Nym and I need to have one with you Harry." Hermione said and stood up, facing the adults. "If you'll excuse us for a few minutes."
"No one objects." Gwenog declared for everyone, Ted and Dan looked like they wanted to object but their wives stopped them.
"Thank Merlin, I was getting tired of waiting for a chance." Tonks said as they got out of the room. "Good work Hermione."
"Thanks." Hermione grinned and they led Harry into a room, closing, locking, silencing and sealing the room behind them. When she noticed Harry looking at her funny she just shrugged. "I'd prefer not to have eavesdroppers."
"So what's up?" Harry asked as the girls turned to face him, Tonks was looking at him but Hermione seemed very interested in his shoes.
"We have a major problem that we think you can solve for us." Tonks said haltingly and started blushing.
"I'll do what I can." Harry nodded.
"Okay, well..." Tonks hesitated then just blurted it out. "Um, Hermione and I started dating this morning."
"Oh!" Harry said. "Oh." He repeated slightly disappointed and confused. "Um, congratulations. Is the problem coming out to your parents?"
"No." Hermione looked up with an impish smile. "We have a plan for that."
"Then what's wrong?"
"We're greedy." Tonks said.
"Huh?" Harry frowned.
"We want a boyfriend too." Tonks clarified.
"Oh." Harry's frown abated. "OH!" Harry grinned broadly. "So did you have someone in mind or are you asking for suggestions?" He asked cheekily.
"Why? Who would you suggest?" Hermione asked cautiously.
"Well, I heard of this one bloke who fought off a whole horde of dragons when he was six." Harry mused.
"Oh, I heard about him." Tonks nodded. "But it was only one, and he was eight."
"No, I've talked to that kid about it, he only claims that he could have, not that he actually did." Hermione grinned.
"Never mind, that dude sounds like a loser, you can do better." Harry shook his head.
"Plan B then." Hermione winked at Tonks, who nodded, not knowing where this was going but trusting Hermione.
"What's plan B?" Harry asked.
"Latch onto the nearest man and never let go." Hermione replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh." Harry said and made a show out of making sure there were no other males in the room. "Sounds good to me."
"Finally!" Tonks shouted and jumped forward firmly pressing her lips to Harry's.
"Okay, okay." Hermione said and pulled them apart then took Tonks' place. "My turn!"
"Okay, okay." Tonks said and pulled them apart then took Harry's place.
"Damn." Harry said happily.
The girls broke apart laughing and stepped into their standard positions at Harry's sides, pulling his arms around them as they did so. Hermione smiled at him. "Ready to tell the old people?"
"So soon?" Harry asked.
"Don't you want to?" Hermione replied.
"Well, yea, but if we delay we can make them wonder what happened. Maybe tease them a bit. Have a very amusing week at their expense?" Harry suggested.
"I don't think that would work very well on that group." Tonks shook her head.
"Alright, no worries." Harry shrugged.
"If we're ready?" Hermione left it hanging and got nods from both of them. "Then let's go."
Together the three of them walked back into the room. Conversation stopped and everyone looked at them expectantly. Harry cleared his throat. "Um, we just wanted all of you to know that the three of us have started dating."
"YES!" Hestia, Gwenog, Sirius and Remus screamed and jumped to their feet. Ted and Dan groaned and started digging galleons out of their pockets, which Remus then collected.
"You were betting on us?" Hermione shouted.
"Prongs would be so proud!" Sirius sighed and wiped a tear from his eye.
"I had to Hermione." Remus said with a guilty shrug. "Sirius would have but he had to recuse himself because he wouldn't be able to resist trying to skew the results in his favor."
"It's true." Sirius nodded.
"So what were the bets?" Hermione demanded.
"Ted had ten galleons saying Harry would date Hermione first, Dan had ten on Tonks, I had ten on both." Remus replied.
"You bet against your own daughters?" Andromeda asked crossly.
"Well tradition dictates that the father try to intimidate the suitor." Ted said pathetically.
"Neither of us wanted the job." Dan finished as he withered under Emma glare.
"Well, I guess you'll just have to work together." Emma said imperiously.
"We have been." Dan replied and turned to Harry. "Have you ever been shot with a gun?"
"No, but a recent event would suggest that my bones will stop small caliber rounds, so if you go that route either go big or aim for my stomach area." Harry said and waved his hand over his abs.
"Right." Dan nodded and turned back to Emma. "That's the best idea we could come up with, and it doesn't seem to bother him."
AN: Hey sports fans. I hate December with every fiber of my being and I generally spend the whole month not wanting to do anything. That's what caused the delay.
WhiteElfElder: You ask many questions that I want to answer. You also ask many questions that I can't answer and can't tell you I'm not answering.
I can't wait to hear the fallout of the health care joke. I wrote it, then realized how political it was. Finally I noticed that it could be taken as making fun of or supporting either side of the argument depending on how you look at it, so I had to leave it.
Byakugan789: Thanks for reading, no it isn't abandoned and it was only a month and a half or so, not 13 months, unless, of course, I've been smoking some serious shit.
I'm sure there were other people I meant to talk to but it's been too long for me to remember.