The Hand of Fate

A/N The usual disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, that's JKR's and I'm pleased she made a ton on money from it. I, however, make none and couldn't care less.

This chapter name is from an old English nursery rhyme: Oranges & Lemons.

You owe me five farthings

Say the bells of St Martins

Chapter 3: You Owe Me Five Farthings

'Well, that's just kinky,' he thought. 'Hermione, we have to erm… um… r-rub the juice on each others ah… privates.'

'You're kidding, right? Harry James Potter! You, you…' she couldn't continue when she saw he was serious.

Harry had a bad feeling about this, Hermione would kill him and he couldn't even explain how he just knew. 'Is Fate playing games?' he thought.

As if in answer, Fate chose that moment to intervene. 'Ignore that, Harry, that's Pan up to his old tricks. He likes to interfere inappropriately. You do need to get on with the kissing and touching though. Nothing too naughty at this stage, but that will come when you're comfortable with it. Remember, only Hermione can know any of this.'

'Erm, I just found out that that was a joke being played on us by Pan. Fate says to ignore that. He did say erm… that w-we n-need to g-get on with the k-k-kissing and t-touching though.' Harry had managed to get that out, although he was still a bright scarlet.

Hermione considered that, smiled and reached across to him and, grasping him firmly behind his head brought her lips to his and kissed him. She wasn't shy about it either and held the kiss for almost a minute until the need to breathe become a problem.

Harry was shocked to his core. He'd never thought Hermione could be that forward, although now that he thought about it, he'd often wondered why she was placed in Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw. Bold. That's what she was, he realised. The heated kiss seemed to stir something within him and he thought what she did was brilliant. Her lips were soft and moist and definitely affecting him.


Fate was on a mission. "Pan! What the fuck are you trying to do? This meddling in my affairs has got to stop! My client is at a very delicate stage right now and if you ruin it… well The Man will hear about it. You are definitely not allowed to interfere."

"Aww Fate, I was just having a little fun. You take life (such as it is with mortals) much too seriously."

"Interfere again, and you'll see just how serious I can be!"

"Spoil sport. You know you can't really do anything to me… OUCH! STOP THAT!"

Pan had been jabbed hard in the arse with a trident Fate had borrowed from Neptune.

"Just so you know, I have means to make your life miserable, Pan. You are, after all, one of the lesser deities."

Pan scampered away, rubbing his buttocks, quietly vowing to get a bit of revenge. Of course Fate was right. The Man could make his life a lot worse as He had proven more than once.


Ron was sitting back in the Gryffindor common room, plotting how to win back the bookworm. He'd need her if he had any hope of passing this year. 'Maybe some Chocolate Frogs. Harry had a stash in his trunk along with that cloak. Now that he's dead, I could use that as well.' Walking up to Harry's bed, he started to reach for Harry's trunk, only to be stopped by Neville.

"What are you doing Ron? That's Harry's property."

"Um, Neville, I-I was just going to see if he had any spare Chocolate Frogs."

"I don't think you should poke around in a dead person's trunk, Ron."

"H-he won't miss them now, will he. It's not as if he has anyone to leave them to. Besides, I'm his best mate, he'd want me to have them."

"Ron, how insensitive can you be? Harry's only been dead for an hour and already you're filching stuff from him? You disgust me. You touch that trunk and I'll…"

"You'll what, Neville? You don't have the guts to…"

At that point, Ron found himself petrified as Neville cast the spell he learned from Hermione last year.

Neville smirked. "I think Hermione might have something to say as well Ron. I'll just leave you until the spell wears off. Oh, and I have a nice locking spell that my Gran taught me to make sure you don't get in. Harry and Hermione taught me a few other tricks this year, so don't think you'll get the best of me."


Luna was humming to herself. Most of her classmates thought she was quite mad, but Luna had cultivated this image as a protection against those she deemed unworthy. It was easy to float through the halls, picking up obscure conversations when nobody paid attention to you. Luna had eavesdropped on Harry and Hermione when everyone else thought Harry was dead. There was certainly a lot not being said between the two, but something told her that that was the tip of the iceberg, since they did a lot of staring at each other with a few quiet whispers now and then. Then she saw what she had hoped. Hermione had grabbed Harry and snogged him within an inch of his life. Smiling, Luna left, hoping to get closer to the pair soon.


Draco Malfoy had witnessed his father unconscious and slumped against a corridor wall with their house elf Dobby standing over him. "What the hell happened?" he wondered aloud. "DOBBY!" he screamed, "What have you done to my father?"

Dobby replied, "Nasty former master killed the great Harry Potter when master presented Dobby with clothes!"

Draco couldn't make sense of that. His father had killed Harry Potter? Well, that was certainly great news. 'Wait, my father! That damn bitch from the DMLE has arrested him and has his wand!' At that, Draco panicked and shot a Reducto spell at the bitch.

Amelia was on full alert, sensing the danger might not have passed and ducked as a nasty red stunner passed over her. "Stupefy!" Amelia had spotted the source and fired the powerful spell as she prepared to transport Lucius Malfoy to the Ministry for questioning under veritaserum.

Draco was blasted back down the corridor and slumped unconscious thirty meters from where he started.

The Headmaster had arrived just as Draco was stunned and raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Amelia, what's going on?"

"That little shite tried to curse me, Albus. I'll be taking him in for interrogation as well as Lucius."

"Surely not, Amelia, he's just a child! I can't allow…"

"This isn't open for discussion or negotiation, Albus. He attacked a minister of the DMLE. I could have him kissed for that!"

Albus recoiled in horror. "Amelia, you can't be serious! The Dementors kiss? I'm sure you're exaggerating."

"Albus," she warned, "you don't want to interfere in the performance of my duties! If that spell had hit me, it could have killed me. That's attempted murder. If I had my way, the whole Malfoy family would be in Azkaban. Unfortunately, the niceties of law must be observed. I've tested Lucius Malfoy's wand and the last spell was indeed the killing curse. He will at least spend the rest of his life in Azkaban, and once word gets out that he's murdered Harry Potter, he'll be thrown through the veil in the Death Chamber."

Albus bowed his head, knowing there was no hope for Lucius. "But Harry isn't dead, Amelia. Somehow he's survived once more. Surely the veil won't be used."

Amelia acknowledged that Harry had survived, but knew that wouldn't save Lucius. "It doesn't matter, Albus, you and Madam Pomfrey pronounced him dead. That's murder and it doesn't matter as far as the law is concerned that he's now returned to life. I'll be asking for a pensieve memory from both you and Poppy. As for the Malfoy brat, I'm still going to persue full charges against him." And with that, she gathered Draco and Lucius up and portkeyed them away. Amelia had one of the few portkeys that worked at Hogwarts. Albus, as the Headmaster, was the only other able to portkey at Hogwarts.


Arriving at DMLE headquarters, Amelia quickly headed for the cells with the pair still in tow. Passing the cell block guard, she requisitioned an interrogation room and two aurors as witnesses. Kingsley Shacklebolt and John Dawlish showed up within minutes.

"Gentlemen, I have two prisoners that need questioning under veritaserum. You will be my witnesses. Any bets what we'll find?" Amelia smirked as Kingsley and John gaped at who she'd brought in.

"Well, the standard five farthing bet then?" Dawlish answered.

"Taken," Kingsley returned.

"Cheapskates," Amelia smiled.

"Use of the imperius curse?" Dawlish bet.

"Naw, it's got to be the killing curse for the boss to bring him in," Shack answered.

"Good guess, Auror Shacklebolt. Lets wake them and start the questioning on the pair of them. Lucius first."

After the veritaserum was given and both prisoners were questioned at length, they were locked in the secure cells.

Kingsley spoke shakily. "I can't believe that Lucius killed Harry Potter!"

"Kingsley, this isn't to be spread around, but Harry survived once again," Amelia warned. "With this evidence, I want no one, especially Fudge finding out about this until I can bring this case to the Wizengamot. I want the full extent of the law brought down on him. In Draco's case, he's a hothead that nearly got me killed. That's attempted murder of a Ministry official. I want him charged as such. His wand and my testimony should put him behind bars or at least have his wand snapped and magic bound."

"John, you owe me five farthings," Kingsley grinned.

Dawlish was amazed that Potter had survived and gladly handed over the agreed five knuts, the closest amount to the old British coin that had been discontinued years ago.