A/N: Hello there! Hope you enjoy this little oneshot, I do enjoy boring!Amos. Haha.

This is dedicated to Nikola - because she's a babe :)


The Delights of Amos Diggory

"You bloody minx Lily Evans!"

Amos Diggory knew he should have been expecting this. After all there had been rumours about Lily Evans and James Potter, not that many people believed them. It was Lily Evans– and the prim, proper Head Girl was not one to abuse her power and conduct a secret relationship with one of the four biggest troublemakers in Hogwarts. So, after many hours trying to convince himself that going to Hogsemead with Lily Evans wouldn't lead to a vicious prank attack, Amos was left looking at a rather furious James Potter and a defiant Lily Evans both glaring violently at each other.

After James' violent exclamation that drew the majority of the attention from everybody in the Three Broomsticks to them Lily broke the silence first.

"Hello James." She said, faux pleasant. "This is Amos Diggory, my date. Maybe you remember him from that time when he beat you in the Quidditch finals at the end of fifth year." She giggled lightly, flicking her red hair behind her shoulder and looking innocently at James.

Amos gulped. He really did not want to get in between the two Heads. They were both forces to be reckoned with and Amos Diggory – for all his polite, gentlemanly personality was not the bravest of men. That was, perhaps, why he was placed in Hufflepuff rather than Gryffindor. But if this was a daily occurence in Gryffindor he would prefer Slytherin to the house of the brave. "Er…yes, now that was rather unfair…Erm, Gryffindor was close to winning…"

Lily's green eyes flickered from James to Amos and her expression made him squirm uncomfortably, a flush creeping up his neck. What did she expect him to do? Stand up to James Potter? Amos didn't think so – he didn't even really like Lily that much, he had only accepted because he didn't want to be rude.

James' eyes glinted dangerously. "Don't be a coward, Diggory," he snapped, voicing what Lily was surely thinking. "We lost ten to three hundred and sixty. And," he continued, his glare focusing back on Lily with even more anger, "We only lost that game because of you!"

Amos frowned, puzzled. For Merlin's sake he couldn't surely relate the embarrassing defeat of fifth year back to Lily Evans! She had done nothing – in fact, Amos wasn't even sure she was there.

"Oh really," Lily hissed, eyes narrowing. "And why is that, Potter?" She pushed the chair back with unnecessary force and moved closer towards James till they were only inches apart. Amos watched the scene with interest.

James jammed a finger into her shoulder making Lily's eyes narrow even more. Amos began to become distinctly aware of the fact that Hogwarts students crammed into the pub were all watching the scene with blatant curiosity and amusement. Amos felt his cheeks begin to grow a deep red with embarrassment at the sight of Helen Dougans – the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, bar Evans – snickering with her mates near the back of the bar.

He had to do something, and quickly.

"Because you weren't there, Evans! And I bloody loved you! I worked myself up for that day and was going to impress you and then Alice tells me you're inside doing a Potions essay! I loved – love you Evans!"

"Erh, Potter," Amos started. It was weak, even to his own ears. James turned sharply and raised an eyebrow questioningly at Amos. The Hufflepuff, rather encouraged by this submissive gesture – or what he convinced himself was a submissive gesture- cleared his throat once again and began a well thought out and very authoritative speech: "Now look here," he said in a pompous manner that made James roll his eyes – not that Amos noticed. "Lily here is my date and it's rather rude for you to come in here and get angry at her for going out with another bloke." Amos got up and joined the other two, casually slinging an arm over Lily's shoulder.

If he had been paying more attention he would have noticed the warning signs: Lily's flinch and James' eyes zeroing in on the arm dangerously.

"You should really step aside. We're mates after all – wouldn't want to ruin that over a worthless bird."

James jaw swung open and Lily's eyes widened to unbelievable amounts.

"Excuse me?" Lily snarled, shrugging Amos' arm off her. She stepped over to join James and crossed her arms defensively. "Worthless?" The crowd around them prepared for the blow that she would undoubtedly release before –

"Since when are you and me mates, Diggory?" James had an honestly perplexed look on his face.

Amos laughed jovially. "Don't be silly, Potter. We're the best of mates."

Lily frowned slightly at the Hufflepuff and uncrossed her arms letting them fall to her side. "Sirius, Remus and Peter are his best mates," she said – glancing towards James with a peculiar look on her face. "Not you."

"Yes, yes, but –"

James cut across him, looking rather annoyed. "Lily's not worthless, you prat." If either of the boys had glanced at the aforementioned girl they would have seen her face light up and a smile appear on her face. None of them did however – James was too busy defending Lily's honour and Amos was scratching the back of his neck stupidly wondering how he had gotten himself into to this spot. "And she's not some chick. She's not some anything. She's the most important thing in the world to me and you'd do better than to say anything bad about her again. In fact, just stay them hell away from her in general."

Amos gaped at the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain. "Potter, she's only good for a shag and that's it."

Lily appeared almost unaffected by such an offensive comment – still grinning stupidly at James- but James' eyes narrowed and his voice came out quite clearly in the silence that had woven its way around the patrons of the restaurant.

"Take that back or I'll bash the shit out of Diggory. And I'm not just talking about on the Quidditch pitch."

Amos smiled unintelligently. "Come on now Potter-"

There was a burst of noise, movement and swearing before Amos Diggory was left groaning on the floor, holding his nose in pain.

He definitely did not expect a single date to turn out like this.

Through his watery eyes he watched James turn to Lily and cup her cheek looking quite concerned. "Lily, he's a prat, ignore him…" From the ground Amos groaned again feeling annoyed that nobody had come to help him yet – or kick Potter out of the Three Broomsticks. But no, he could see Rosmerta – the young waitress – leaning against the counter and watching James and Lily dreamily.

"Bloody hell, Potter!" Amos groaned, feeling a great injustice being played against him. No one paid any attention to him as Lily's hand wrapped around James wrist.

"Do you mean it?" She whispered, almost bashfully.

James' face twisted from concerned to confused. "Mean what?" He asked blankly, looking around at the other people for guidance. No one gave him any answers.

"That I'm the most important thing in the world to you?"

James ears were going peculiarly bright red. It took a moment for Amos to realize he was blushing; after all, James Potter did not blush.

"W-Well, of course, Lily," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Did you think I didn't? Because, it's your fault that we haven't told anybody about us and I said to you that I wanted to make it public so I really don't think it's fair that you-"

Lily's arm entwined itself around James' neck and she stood up on her tiptoes, kissing him lightly on the lips.

As the pub cheered Amos groaned again, clasping at his nose. Why wasn't anyone paying attention to him?

a/n: Leave a review folks!