Twilight is not mine. Obviously.
Thank you to A Jasper For Me for helping me with this chapter.
This story was inspired by the banner the beautiful heatherdawn had made. Lucky for me, she agreed for me to adopt it. ;D
Chapter 1 – It's always too late
The faint scent of freesia lingered. Her smell. It assaulted my senses, sending my emotions into overdrive.
My heart was racing as I scanned the whole bedroom. Everything looked the same from where I was standing. But I knew better.
Inane things like the books she leaves on the bedside table were no longer there and her usual clutter of things were absent. Our bedroom was stripped of everything that would serve as a reminder she had lived here before. It was bare of her.
Just as I suspected it would be. Especially after that disastrous phone call.
It was finally here, the one thing that scared me the most.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I had suspected she would eventually do this. My apprehension on her leaving my pathetic ass would always increase after I had hurt her. But lucky for me, she never did. Not until now.
She had forgiven me countless times before and I was just cavalier to think she would just shrug it off again and forget about it.
Maybe it was long overdue.
I could not even fault her for what she had done.
But it still stunned me to great proportions. Because she had told me forever and I believed her.
As I had stepped off the plane earlier I had a weird feeling, like a premonition of sorts that she wouldn't be here any longer waiting for me like she usually did.
My suspicion finally confirmed when I arrived at our apartment half an hour ago. I saw for myself that she was truly gone from my life. What I had done hit me with a force I had never expected. Her absence in the only sanctuary I know made it all real – my stupidity…the pain of her gone…the guilt…the longing.
The letter she had left was clutched in my trembling hands. As if by holding it tightly would make her materialize in front of me.
I was too much of a coward. Now she had reached her breaking point and left me. It was too late for regrets. She was no longer here to beg forgiveness from.
Even if I wanted to right my wrong, I didn't even know where to start.
How could I have traded her for my family's money?
There wouldn't be any tiny hands to hold for comfort. No sweet lips to kiss. No eyes to stare at and lose myself into. No beautiful smile to render me speechless.
All because I was stupid in my quest for my mother's approval.
Now there was only silence surrounding me. Emptiness.
Maybe if I had enough balls to stand for what I had wanted, then maybe she might still be here. So many maybes and what ifs…but no reprieve.
I slowly opened the crumpled letter in my hands and I gazed down at her sloppy handwriting. The words pierced my heart like a lance. As I reread all she had written, the tears I had been holding started falling and staining the crisp paper.
Her wedding and engagement rings were digging into my palm as I clenched my hand tightly. The symbol of her promise was left behind with me.
She said goodbye the only way she knew how. The only way I would listen.
I was definitely hearing her now. Loud and clear. As if she had spoken the written words to me herself.
She had repeatedly mentioned in her letter that she didn't want me to look for her. That this was for the best.
What the hell was I going to do now?
Thanks for reading. ;D
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