Title: IM, Me and You Part 1/?
Author: IAMAMYTH
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Rating: PG (for now)
Pairings/Characters: Roy/Jen, Moss, OC.
Disclaimer: I do not own The IT Crowd.
Summary: Who says romance is dead?
Spoilers: 'Friendface' (S3E5)
Warnings: Roy being Roy. Jen being Jen. Moss being Moss. You should expect this..
Authors Notes: Dialogue at the beginning, written conversations thereafter. The second scene is from the episode, so I apologise if it's not accurate, I did most of it from memory. The Roy/Kimberley conversation is on Roy's wall, while Roy and Jen's conversation is IM, like Facebook Chat or MSN. I hope I'm in character, I think I am...I could hear them in my head, so it's plausible at least. X-posted on LJ.

"Friendface? What's that?" Jen asked, taking a sip of her latte.
"It's a new social networking site, it's great. You can catch up on old friends, you can flirt with people..." Sarah informed her friend, pouring a sachet of sugar into her cappuccino.
"Aren't there enough of those things?"
"Jen, join it. You won't regret it."

"Can you two not use my email address anymore please? I've got a new one." Jen asked as she strode out of her office, and handing a small card to Roy then Moss.
"'JennywennyFriendface' Oh, you've not signed up with Friendface, have you?"
"Yes I have actually," Jen answered, jumping to the site's defense when Roy grimaced, "Why not? It's great? I joined last night, and I've already got 30 friends."
"Baaa! Yes, let's all join Friendface and become part of the herd. I don't think so." Moss added, scoffing slightly.
"Why not? They're terrific. You can catch up on old friends, you can flirt with people…"
"I've got better things to do than to talk to friends and flirt with people, thank you very much."
Brain searching for reasons that Roy and Moss would understand, Jen ignored him, and approached Roy's desk.
"You can play Scrabble online with it." Jen offered, sitting in the purple chair next to Roy's desk.
"It's just another way of shoving advertising in your face Jen. Don't do it, you'll regret it." Roy warned,
"It might be a great way to meet women. All the girls on 7 are on it." Jen argued, a slight smirk tugging at her lips.
"I'm in."
"What?"
"I've joined."
"That was quick."
"It was what you said about Scrabble. I'm in a game now." Moss explained, tapping at his keyboard furiously.
"I'm in!"
"What?" Jen turned to face the Irish man.
"I've joined."
"What about the advertising?" Jen queried, her voice nothing more than a mere squeak.
"Oh, advertising doesn't have any effect on me Jen. I just- I tune it out. So the girls on 7, are they on this? Kimberly?"
"Uh-huh." Jen replied, her mind quickly trying to catch up with the last 15 seconds.
"Oh cool, look, they've got this great little game on their homepage. You have to throw this can of cola into a giant mouth," He let out a soft chuckle, as Jen moved in closer to look at his computer screen, "That's brilliant. God I'm so thirsty."
Jen kept staring at the screen while her inner self screamed; 'what have you done, Jen Barber?'

Jen blinked at the screen, her hand frozen on the mouse. She wasn't entirely sure why she was doing it, but she knew she had been stalking Roy's Friendface profile for the last 30 minutes. Biting her lip, she continued reading.

ROY TRENNEMAN
Kimberley, hi. Didn't know you were on Friendface…
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 13:32

KIMBERLEY FROM 7
Uh..who is this?
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 13:44

ROY TRENNEMAN
HAHA It's Roy, from the IT department. Reynholm Industries.
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 13:48

KIMBERLEY FROM 7
No. I don't know anyone called Roy. Sorry.
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 13:50

ROY TRENNEMAN
I'm in the bloody basement. I came to fix your computer yesterday. So, I see your relationship status is single ;) Why don't I take you out to dinner tonight?
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 13:55

KIMBERLEY FROM 7
I don't think so Roy.
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 13:57

ROY TRENNEMAN
Kimberley...I can unblock the supervision programme on your computer. Yeah?
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 14:02

ROY TRENNEMAN
Kimberley. Kimberley? You there Kimberley?
Sent on 24/06/2008 at 14:21


Jen studied the conversation hard. She wasn't sure why she felt so..jealous, by it. It's Roy. Any normal time, Jen would quite happily let Roy try after which ever girl he was lusting after. This time, she was jealous. She didn't want to admit it, and in no way should Roy ever find out, but she was. Jealous. Very much so.

Ping
'Oh God. Message from Roy. Oh my god, oh my god'

Taking a deep breath, Jen clicked on the blue bubble next to Roy's name, and opened the IM chat window.

ROY TRENNEMAN
Jen. Am I THAT much of a woman repeller?

JEN BARBER
Roy? This is you.

ROY TRENNEMAN
What's that supposed to mean?

JEN BARBER
You're not exactly Brad Pitt, are you?

ROY TRENNEMAN
Jen! Seriously...am I too difficult?

JEN BARBER
Yeah, pretty much. Your job is a chore to you. You're perfectly happy answering that phone and saying "have you tried turning it off and on again?"..sometimes you can't be bothered to do that!

ROY TRENNEMAN
Alright Jen, I get your point. I meant, romantically.

JEN BARBER
Roy? This is you. You don't do romance.

ROY TRENNEMAN
Forget Jen. I knew I shouldn't have asked you..

JEN BARBER
What? Why not?

JEN BARBER
Roy? I'm sorry..

ROY TRENNEMAN
Jen..can you help me?

JEN BARBER
haha :D

ROY TRENNEMAN
Jen!

JEN BARBER
Sorry Roy, sorry.

ROY TRENNEMAN
What do women want? Or how do they want to be treated?

JEN BARBER
We want to be wooed Roy. We want you to treat us like a princess, to be truthful, to be kind, patient, funny..a good cook is always something nice. Good in bed, also.

ROY TRENNEMAN
Okay Jen..that's enough.

JEN BARBER
I don't know why you're asking me Roy. I'm useless at relationships.

ROY TRENNEMAN
You really are Jen.

JEN BARBER
Shut up Roy, this isn't about me.

ROY TRENNEMAN
Jen. Can't believe I'm going to do this..no I'm not, I can't.

JEN BARBER
SPIT IT OUT ROY!

ROY TRENNEMAN
Jen. Can I interest you in dinner tonight?

Roy hit enter before he could think too much about it. In hindsight, he wished he had thought about it, particularly when he read Jen's response.

JEN BARBER
Sure, why not. Nothing better to do tonight.