Disclaimer: I do not own 7th heaven, Brenda Hampton, Secret Life, TLC programming, or any horror movie the cast has starred in.
Family Reunion: A Camden family Parody
Summary: Sequel to A Camden Reaction to Fanfiction. Set in season hypothetical season 12.
"This is so exciting," Eric clasped his hands together. "It's been so long since the whole family showed up unexpected."
"Eric," Annie slapped his chest lightly with the back of her hand. "Don't be silly. Everyone showed up unexpected in the last parody. Remember, we all read fan fiction together."
"That was written a while ago," Eric told his wife.
"So? It was still set during this season." Annie commented.
"Whatever. Besides, that was only our rude children that showed up. This time everyone is." Eric smiled as the doorbell rang.
2 hours later
"We're so happy that you guys could make it for this season's edition of the series finale," Eric told everyone as they stared at him blankly. "We need to make this one just as cheesy as the other two."
"Is that even possible?" Mary asked.
"Of course it's possible," Brenda Hampton answered. "After all, I am the one writing this. Now get back to the script."
"Why are we even here for this stupid reunion?" Matt asked. "Has your heart gone bad in the last few episodes? Are you going to kick the bucket after all?"
"Of course not." Eric explained to them. "I won't die until next season's edition of the series finale."
"Then why did you call us all here?" Colonel grumped. "I was in heaven were I was."
"I wanted to see how everyone is doing." Eric told them. "What have you guys been up to lately? Anyone been in a horror film recently?"
"Would almost having to show emotion count as a horror film?" Kevin asked.
"Well, for you I guess it would." Eric told him.
"Sweet." Kevin replied with no emotion at all.
"I'm just wondering if the remake of my horror film will be better than the original film." Annie explained.
"Mom, please. Everyone knows remakes and sequels suck." Matt told her. "Just look at the Boogeyman sequel Simon did."
"That was a splendid movie," Simon defended.
"My sequel was good." Lucy chimed in.
"And my remake was awesome," Mary added.
"I'm sure the remake of your movie will be better, Mom." Ruthie told her.
"Can you guys move this storyline along already," Aunt Julie piped up. "Hank and I have other plans after this."
"What could you possibly have better to do than guest star on this show?" Eric asked.
"We have to come up with a name for our son." Hank explained.
"What's up with that anyway?" Matt asked. "You've been deciding for six seasons."
"It's a tough decision to make. We don't want to stick him with a name that will get him picked on." Julie explained.
"Yeah, I'm sure being baby boy Hastings is getting him lots of friends now." Colonel growled. "Just pick a name already."
"Please," Robbie agreed. "Not even the twins are that slow."
"Robbie, what are you doing here?" Annie asked.
"Oh, I'm just here to tell you guys that Ruthie and I are dating. You know I have to date all of the Camden women." Robbie explained. "Don't worry Mrs. Camden, when Eric's heart gives out next season, we'll have our chance together."
"Wonderful," Eric agreed, before turning to Simon. "So Simon, even though it's none of my business, I'm still going to be nosey and ask. Are you still having premarital sex?"
"Of Course," Simon answered, turning to Brenda Hampton. "Thanks for whoring my character out."
"Whatever happened to that being my storyline?" Lucy asked. "You made me the make out queen, had me almost sleep with that creepy Jordan guy, and then made me some goody goody waiting for marriage girl. Oh, and worst of all, you stuck me with this," she pointed to Kevin. "He isn't just boring in everyday life."
"I'm hurt," Kevin said trying to show emotion. "Can't you see how emotional I am?"
"I rest my case," Lucy pouted.
"It's simple Luce," Simon smiled. "The writers like me better. That's why I get to have premarital sex, right Brenda?"
"Damn straight," Brenda agreed.
"What about us?" David asked.
"Yeah, what about us?" Sam repeated.
"I hate you guys almost as much as Annie does. You have personalities like your dad." Brenda answered.
"Hey," Kevin tried to be shocked, but failed miserably. "I thought you weren't going to tell that I was their real father."
"Whoops," Brenda shrugged.
"How much longer is this going to last?" Martin asked. "Why am I even here?"
"Because I needed to tell you that Aaron isn't yours, he's Simons." Sandy popped out of nowhere.
"Thank God," Martin dropped to his knees and the Camden's stared at him. "I mean I'm deeply upset by this."
"So that's what you told me about in season ten's edition of the series finale." Simon realized. "I didn't hear you since the show went off before you said anything."
"Hmm. Weird." Sandy shrugged.
"Can we end this already?" Brenda asked becoming bored. "My cheesiness is needed back on the Secret Life set. I have to figure out a way to get Grace pregnant next. I was thinking about a crossover with one of those TLC shows. What do you guys think?"
"I'll do it," Simon jumped at the chance and left with Brenda.
"What now?" Eric asked. "We can't go on without our writer."
"I know," Ruthie leapt up. "Let's find some more fan fiction."
"Alright, but can we close the blinds this time. Mrs. Beaker was watching last time." Matt smiled as they headed for Mr. Camden's office.
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