Deeks understood most things. He understood why he became a cop. He understands why his and kensi's relationship is progressing slowing. But still progressing. He understands that Sam just deals with Deeks, and Hetty knows more then she let's on. He has always been understanding, but right now he's confused. His father has been dead for over ten years. And he is just finding out now. He had practically raised himself. Somewhere between the time when his father split and his mother became to drunk to live, he knew he would never be able to go to college. He understood that, but he wasn't going to be another one of his father. It was then he joined the police academy. He was a good cop. He didn't get there by being nice to everyone. He understood and accepted that.

He's had a tough life. Everyone knew that, but chose not to comment on it. The less he asked others about their lives, the less he was interrogated about his. He couldn't talk about it with anyone. He doesn't want anyone to think any less of him because of it. He was able to hide behind his jokes and his flirts, all while building and maintaining his walls. Deeks was fine with that. And now he had been shot. Make that two things he did not understand.

Actually he did.

He was careless. And because of it, he almost lost the partner, that was scared to loose him. He was an easy target. That was gonna change. As soon as he got out of this god damned hospital.

While he's in the hospital, he has time to think. And while he does he realizes that he may not want to understand everything. Because sometimes the truth may be worse then our image. And while the list of things he does not understand grows, the list of things he does understand remains the same.

He understands that he is Detective Marty Deeks, the LAPD liason officer to NCIS Office of Special Projects. He has never lived more then two miles away from the home where he grew up. And some of the things he has yet to understand, he doesn't want to. At least not now, not yet. Right now he has to plan out a new mourning routine, or the soon to be lack there of, and buy a lot of ice cream and beer for Kensi, even though she did eat his Jello.

He was detective Marty Deeks. A better man then his father, and that is all he understood at the moment. And he had no problem with it.

So the Episode 2x17 personal, almost made me cry. =] and m previous story, Deeks, Just Deeks, is now a kind of AU, but still has the same premise. Deeks is my favorite. =]

so please please please please let me know what you think!

I'm also open to any ideas or suggestions.

Also i do not own NCIS: LA, because i'm not that awesome.

Thanks for reading!

Muchas Dulces