Chapter 12


"You shouldn't worry so much." I mumbled as she gently rubbed my back as a fit of coughs racked my body. I was straddling her lap, leaning into her with my body pressed as close to her as I could get as she read her book. Her thin frame was oddly comfortable, though it may have been just the heat from her body that made me sleepy. I snuggled my face closer to her chest as she moved to turn the page. She chuckled

"You can't even haul your ass off the couch to take a piss without help and I shouldn't be worried?"

"I don't want you to do anything that could get yourself hurt." She froze, her hand resting on the small of my back as she pulled the blanket around us both tighter.

"What makes you think I'm going to get hurt?" she brushed my hair from my face, reaching over to grab the damp cloth from the table a wiped my forehead with it then dabbing at my cheeks.

"I read your texts when you went out of the room earlier."


"You've been talking with your contacts trying to find someone else who has a cure for whatever it is I have and you've been trying to find some arms dealer or something. So if that doesn't spell 'shit is going down' I don't know what does."

"You shouldn't have gone through my things."

"You shouldn't have left it on the coffee table."

"I don't want you to make yourself worse by worrying about me."

"Nikita, I worry about you the second you disappear from my view." I growled angrily. "I keep thinking Division will bust down the door any second and put a bullet in our skulls." She clutched me closer to her suddenly, crushing me to her. She was silent for a little while, just holding me, her gentle smell was oddly, yet not unexpectedly, comforting. I let her have a moment of quiet. I let her sit with me there, in her arms, not exactly safe, but not in immediate danger either. She spoke just as the constriction was starting to get painful.

"Nothing is going to happen to you Alex." She said with an emotional force so strong it shocked me. "I won't let Percy do to you what he did to your family. You ARE going to survive this."

"You don't have to lie, Nikita." I wheezed and cleared my throat, Nikita's hand rubbing small circles on my back. "I know how bad this is. I know my survival rate is—"

"Quiet." She silenced me with a commanding tone. I bit my tongue, resisting the sudden urge I had to be spiteful and continue my self-sacrificing speech. "I don't want to hear you talking about this anymore. I don't want you to think for a single SECOND that I am going to leave you in order to save myself. It won't happen, Alex. Not now, not even at the end. YOU are my top priority. I lose you, I lose. End of discussion."

"You're being unrealistic."

"Alex." I sat back and she tucked the blanket around me, her face twisted into a look of great concern.

"I know I'm going to die, Nikita. I've accepted it. Why can't you?" She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes gentle but angry as hell. I knew she cared for me. I knew we'd, shall we say, bonded through the crazy shit we had to do. I know that I had been a key player in her plan to take down division until I screwed up and nearly got gunned down more than once…But now I seemed like more of a liability than an asset for Nikita. Like my being her, being her partner in crime, was going to get her killed. She pulled her fingers through my hair a few times, my eyes were beginning to drift close like a dog's when you scratch behind its ear. Shut up. I couldn't help what felt the most comforting at the moment…even if it was something as miniscule as a finger-hair brush. She pulled me close against her again.

"I can't accept it because you are the one thing I did right my entire life. Saving you was the only good thing I did in my life."

"What about Daniel?" there was a small pause and she sighed heavily.

"I got him killed."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I knew better than to get too involved with a civilian. Especially a civilian who was part of my cover. I shouldn't have let myself fall for him."

"It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." She chuckled once despite herself.

"When'd you get so wise?"

"Being stuck on the couch for almost a week watching stupid people preach stupid things can do that to you."

I woke on the couch just as the sun was rising, the warm body that I'd fallen asleep on had vanished. I blinked groggily, feeling stranger than usual. Not in a sick way. Not like something was wrong with me. I felt…normal. Healthy. I hesitantly swung my feet over the edge of the couch and was surprised that the need to throw up or keel over in pain didn't hit me like a truck. I couldn't stop the moronic grin that spread over my face. I was fine! I was great! I could help Nikita! I could fight for myself or we could both just run. "Nikita!" I yelled out for her, "Nikita! Come here! I can—" out of the shadows of the hallway stumbled Nikita, a fat lip and black eye decorating her beautiful face. She stumbled forward until she was shoved forward by a tall figure and fell flat on her face. I stood up, grasping the gun which had suddenly appeared in the waistband of my sweat pants. I held it out in front of me and pulled back the hammer, hearing it cock with a familiar click. I stepped over Nikita's limp body slowly, deliberately.

"Alex—" Nikita wheezed

"I know Nikita." Percy stepped out of the shadows, a cocky smirk on his ugly face.

"Really, Alexandra?"

"Shut up you sick son of a bitch!"

"Because," he continued like I hadn't said a thing. "Because I don't think you know anything. I don't think you could even pull the trigger." I felt my own cruel smirk spreading over my face.

"I would gladly put a bullet in the head of my father's murderer."

"I didn't kill your father, Alex."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying. It's true."

"Go to hell." I pulled the trigger with the gun trained strictly at his heart. Blood splattered against the light green walls behind him. He fell down limply, his upper half once again shrouded in the shadows. A wave of overwhelming satisfaction rolled over me. It was over. Finally he was dead. I could breathe again. The weight was lifted from my heart and I could breathe again. My gun clattered to the floor and my legs wobbled. "It's over…" I sighed heavily "it's finally over."I drooped to my knees weakly and that's when I heard the noise that sent a violent shiver through my spine.

Nikita was laughing.

I could hear the restraints trapping her arms snap and her high heeled boots clicking on the ground as she stood up. I turned around slowly, not wanting to know what she was doing. Terrified that something was wrong. I looked straight into the barrel of my gun, feeling my heart stop for a second. The cold glint in her eyes, the way she smiled so distantly. It was like I meant nothing to her. Like I was disposable. Like I was nothing but a pawn in some sick game of chess. "Good job Alex." She said my name with empty enthusiasm. "You just did my job for me."

"Alexandra…" my heart squeezed sharply and I turned around, seeing my father's eyes looking back at me from what had been Percy only moments before. I gasped a sob.

"Papa!" forgetting the gun trained on me, I scrambled forward to my father, lying bleeding out on the ground. "Papa! Papa I'm so sorry! You're going to be fine I promise." I pressed my hands over his heart, feeling his blood well out from between my fingers. My hands shifted desperately, trying to find some way, ANY way I could stop the bleeding. His eyes locked with mine as his head slowly fell back against the wooden floor.

"The angels are here, Alexandra…they've come to take me home."

"Stay with me Papa, please!"

"You know what you must do Alexandra" he whispered just loud enough for me to hear. "You must survive. You must avenge my death. You must…you…" his cooling hand gently laid over mine as his eyes shifted closed.

I screamed, crying harder than I'd ever thought possible. There were no words, no true meaning to the strangled cry. It was the howl of unbelievable pain and absolute primal rage. I'd lost everything for the second time. I watched my father die again, the bullet from my gun, NIKITA's gun, had carve a hole in his chest. And now I sat on the floor, my throat burning and my father's life coating my skin. The fury had consumed me completely and I stood up slowly, turning to face Nikita. "Pawn to king four." She had a disgustingly sweet smile on her face. "Say goodnight." She purred.

"Goodnight." I lunged forward and knocked the gun from her hands, my fist slammed violently under her chin.


I crashed through the glass coffee table, smashing the back of my head against the hard wood floor. Alex had been whimpering and twitching like a hunting dog on the couch where I left her. I just touched her shoulder and said "Alex?" and she nailed me a good one under the chin. My head screamed and still I pushed myself to my feet. Alex matched me toe to toe. Her skin was sleek with a thin sheet of sweat and her fists were clenched so tightly it looked like the bone would break through her skin. "Alex! What was that?"

"You made me kill him." She snarled in Russian. It was then that I saw the soul burning hatred as violent as a forest fire sitting in her eyes. Her words were like acid, her body rippling with adrenaline flooded muscles. "And now," she was breathing heavily like she was struggling to get the words out from around her anger. "Now I kill you." She launched forward, grabbing my arm and using it to throw me into the wall.

"Alex! Calm down!" I caught her fist an inch from my face and pushed her back. She charged forward, her head smashing into my stomach and forcing me to keel over. I'd never seen anyone fight the way she was fighting. Normally you can predict anything a fighter does by how they move, where their eyes go etc. but Alex was fighting without strategy. There was no defence. It was just attack, attack, attack again and again and again. She was as unpredictable as a cornered wild animal. I slid to the ground as she was pulled off of me. Black dots clouded my vision as I tried to figure out what was going on. Kat clipped Alex's shoulder as she spun out of the way of the blonde's attack, forcing her cousin to stumble forward off balance. Alex kicked her hard just behind her knees. Kitty fell backwards and sprung back up before she could hit the ground completely. Kat kicked Alex in the stomach and then swiped her legs out from under her. The brunette fell with a loud thud on the broken glass.

"What the HELL is going on!"

"You tell me!" I yelled, tackling Alex as she moved to get up, pushing us both away from the razor sharp shards. "Oh no you don't." and she head butted me twice, easily pushing me off her

"You told me that you wanted to keep me alive because it was the only thing you did right." She snarled in flawless Russian, stepping on my chest hard. "but really, you just wanted to use me for your ploy. So you could kill Percy and then dispose of me. Just. Like. Division." I pushed her off and rolled out of the way. "Well guess what, Nikita. I'm going to rip you apart." I swung and she caught it, delivering a sharp blow to my ribs. I took several more shots to my stomach before a loud smack echoed out and Alex fell limply against me. I looped my arms around her body and slowly lowered her to the ground. Her body trembled softly, letting me know she wasn't knocked out. At least not completely. Her fingers clenched my shirt. I gently stroked her head and looked up at Kat whose grim face mirror mine. We both knew the same thing. I needed to find help.


Thursday's episode had my heart racing. Nikita better not be dead or I'm going to flip the hell out. If you couldn't tell, I got my inspiration for this chapter from that episode…REALLY shocked me to find out that Nikita killed Alex's father…sigh.

Sorry I haven't updated in forever, family issues, school stress, softball commitments…it's just crazy right now (I haven't had a single day off since the start of April; softball and school own my ass until school's out. I only had time to write this because I got up at 5:30 am only to have my first game delayed until noon and couldn't get back to sleep, then they cancelled the game all together.) So I appreciate your patients and I will try to update as soon as possible which maybe forever from now but I'll still try.

That review button…look how shiny and blue it is…you know you wanna click it.