Looking to the Future

He isn't surprised when Emily asks her about his feelings for Gillian. She's a perceptive one, his daughter, and he'd been waiting for her to ask him that question for awhile now.

Funny thing is, he finds it easy to tell her, "Yes," whereas the idea of telling Gillian that he loves her is nerve-wracking to say the least. It's scary, the thought of talking to Gillian herself and speaking the words that neither of them have been willing to share with the other quite yet. At the same time, he wishes he had the courage to do so.

Things could be so much better. Or worse, yeah, but he's trying to talk himself into this, so he ignores the brief appearance of that thought. If she returns his acknowledgement of his feelings, then maybe something can eventuate that will be long-lasting and real. More than what they have now.

It seems almost an impossibility, but then, maybe it isn't. He hasn't tried anything yet. The only way he can truly know the answer, if things will go well or not, is to man up and talk to Gil. Now might not be the best time though, he figures, so close to the death of Claire.

It might be a good time to plant the beginning of something though. Sidle up and hit her where she's weak. That sort of thing. She's his best friend; he knows what she likes and has theories on how to get to her heart.

Flowers, romance novels, sweet foods, warm hugs and whiskey. They all hold promise. They are gifts that anyone might buy a person to try and cheer them up, so they're subtle enough it shouldn't overwhelm her or hint immediately too much what he's doing, but then it should a bit; he's not a big gift giver. And they're friends. He has every right to buy her a gift.

He decides on flowers and a box of liquor chocolates – and a card, of course; saying Feel better, Gil; and signed, Love Cal. He can do that and it should still be subtle enough. Gillian will just assume that he means love in the friendship way. Yeah. Right. He knows she is more perceptive than that. She knows by now how he feels for her, surely. It's written all over his face when he looks at her sometimes.

He'll leave early tomorrow to buy the gifts and then catch Gillian at her house before she heads in to work. It should work out quite well actually.

Emily rolls her eyes when he says he has a plan and then won't tell her the details, but he detects the hint of a smile on her lips. It's good knowing that his daughter supports him and his feelings for Gil, just as he loves that Gil sees Emily as family. A relief. He doesn't know what he'd do if they didn't like each other. Probably nothing. Nothing is the best action to take sometimes.

He goes to bed that night with a small smile on his face and the determination to see things through the next day and the next, and the next should she not turn him down. However long it takes and then for as long as she'll still have him, he's in for the long haul.