Just Leave Me- A Dalton Fic

Rating: M for swearing. For now.

Pairing: Logan/Julian

A/N: Hey guys. First fic in like forever. Be nice and review!


Logan held his pill in his right hand, turning it over as he gazed. He sat on his bed in his rather plush room. He could feel it in his bones, when he took the meds. He felt his brain stop working, stop him from thinking. His blood even flowed differently. It redirected every little feeling.

Logan was a master of disguise. At home with his family he couldn't be himself. Here he had to hide in this fog of pills and stretches of hallways. Blaine would glare if he even looked at Kurt in a way that had any feeling in it.

Logan wanted to be sick. He wanted to love. To hate. To be able to process things.

He heard footsteps and a knock before Derek walked inside, holding a glass of water. Logan didn't look up. He just sighed and took the glass.

"One of these days I'm not gonna be here to force this on you, Logan. "

Logan didn't say anything. He just threw the pill in his mouth and followed it with a swig of water. The little square pill left a funny aftertaste in his mouth, so he took another sip.

He looked up at Derek, "Someday, I won't be taking pills."


Meanwhile Julian had yet to roll out of bed. It didn't matter to him when he got up. He couldn't bear the thought of yet another day of acting. It was no wonder at his apparent talent for acting after all the years he'd spent putting on a daily show at Dalton.

It was, to be honest, some of his finest work. Derek had no idea before a drunken confession had almost spoiled everything. Now Derek analyzed every glance, every remark, every MOVE.

He was almost as bad as some of his fangirls.

But the truth was, actor and everything… he couldn't keep this role up for a very long time. Some characters are just so- so draining. So taxing to play. He needed to run every once in a while.

"So—so what? You're just going to plaster on a smile and disappear again? You're running away again?"

Julian could hear his friend's accusation fresh in his ear. It stung, but then again the truth usually did.

With that in his mind, he rolled out of bed. He was leaving in only a few days. Somehow that didn't really comfort him.

Later that afternoon, Julian hid himself in his room. He had no desire to associate with Logan now that it was set that he was leaving. It was like a little heartbreak. Logan would whine about the weather, wonder aloud about whoever was on his mind at the time. Julian would stare in hatred at their name leaving Logan's lips. He would envy the special holiness with which those sounds which described his affections.

Logan would turn to him and say, "But you don't care about that, do you?"

So Julian hid.

Which is why it came as a little bit of a surprise when he heard a tap on his door. Logan strode in as if he lived in the room. He looked medicated; Julian could tell from his walk, from the way his eyes seemed disinterested.

"Derek's out. I'm bored to death. Entertain me," he said by way of explanation.

"What, do you want me to go get Blaine and start a fight? I mean, I can totally arrange it, but honestly that hobbit could take you down when you're medicated," Julian quipped, his emotional wall quickly being raised.

"Oh, stop being so sarcastic." Logan replied with a smirk. There was a moment as Logan ambled around the edges of the room to stare out the window.

"God you're so needy. No wonder you can't hold down a guy." Julian grumbled.

"Oh like you would know. Mr. High-maintenance. Maybe that's all I need. Another guy who's just as needy as me."

Oh you have no idea.

"Like Kurt?" Julian said, his heart aching, knowing the inevitable answer.

"Yeah. Like him. Ha," Logan said, spinning around to face Julian. Julian stared toward the window from his bed, his uniform tie a little crumpled and his usually perfectly combed hair breaking free of its usual taming.

"Maybe I should be an actor." Logan said quietly.

"Ha." Julian smirked just a little, "You're a terrible actor."

"Sometimes, Julian… you are too."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Julian spat out.

"Listen, Derek told me you're leaving again. What the hell keeps scaring you off? You come back for a month and then just take off again?"

Was Logan really asking about him?

"What the hell does it matter to you? It's my career."

"Well, you're my wingman, and no offense, but I look damn good with two sidekicks," Logan said.

"If you're gonna get all sentimental and reminiscent, don't start. Please. Ugh." Julian looked away from Logan and stared at the wall.

Logan smirked and walked over to the bed to sit next to Julian, "Stay. If not for your own sake- yeah, I know about the damn stalker- then stay to help me out."

Julian scoffed, "I can't believe Derek told you."

"You're staying, right? I kind of need some backup here. Who'll praaaactice with me now that Blaine's keeping a tight grip on his Kurt?"

"Fuck you."

"But that means you're staying, right?"

"There is no way I'm letting you (be with any other fucking guy besides me) lose to Windsor."

Logan stood up again and walked back toward the door. He paused to look back at Julian.

"See, this is why we work. You get me."

And he walked out. Julian grabbed his pillow and punched it hard. He growled low and dangerously. Logan knew he would stay if he asked. He knew. The bastard somehow knew he could mold Julian like clay.

He tried to think of some way to channel his energy and anger at life. Julian threw his pillow at the door as he stood, almost tearing his guitar from its stand. The perfect rage song came to mind and his fingers knew the chords well, but he needed to calm down. The verses required some finesse…

What I want from you is empty your head

They say be true, don't stain your bed

We do what we need to be free

And it leans on me like a rootless tree

What I want from us is empty our minds

We fake the thoughts, and fracture the times

We go blind when we've needed to see

And this leans on me, like a rootless...

Julian sang calmly for the first few verses, summoning his patience for the chorus, and as he got closer, his voice grew full of rage and emotion as he belted out the words that had been running through his head for years.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you

And all we've been through

I said leave it, leave it, leave it

There's nothing in you

And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, then hate me so good

That you can let me out, let me out, let me out

Of this hell when you're around

Let me out, let me out, let me out

Hell when you're around

Let me out, let me out, let me out

He breathed as he neared yet another verse, controlling his feeling to focus on the lyrics. Thoughts of Logan's manipulation, his unknowing betrayal, hoping and pining pointlessly for a love he knew he couldn't have ran through his mind.

What I want from this

Is learn to let go

Running away again, never stopping…

No not of you

Of all that's been told

Of all the times that Derek had threatened to tell Logan…

Killers re-invent and believe

And this leans on me, like a rootless...

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you

And all we've been through

I said leave it, leave it, leave it

There's nothing in you

And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, then hate me so good

And suddenly all he wanted was to escape just once more…

That you can let me out, let me out, let me out

Of this hell when you're around

Let me out, let me out, let me out

Of this hell when you're around

Let me out, let me out, let me out

Hell when you're around

Let me out, let me out, let me out

Hell when you're around

Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out

Julian thought of never seeing him again and his heart broke and his voice cracked with distortion and tears in a mixture of confusion.

Fuck you, fuck you, love you

And all we've been through

I said leave it, leave it, leave it

It's nothing in you

And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, then hate me so good

That you can let me out, let me out, let me out

His fingers felt raw, his throat felt abused as he had screamed. He didn't care if Logan was even listening now. He panted, holding onto his guitar, his fingertips red from how hard he'd pressed on the frets.

He rested his head on his guitar as he thought to himself.

He had to stay.


Logan heard Julian playing, but didn't really listen. Julian did that sometimes. Logan stared at the window across the campus. He stared at Windsor and wondered if Kurt was thinking about him. If Blaine was still angry. Maybe he would get so mad that Kurt would leave. He would show up at Stuart with duffel bag in hand, obvious tear marks down his cheeks…

Logan would escort him up the stairs and into the room and kiss his tears away.

But he stopped thinking. It was hard to.

Julian was playing quite violently tonight. Logan shrugged it off and decided to sleep. Perhaps the meds would give him some nice dreams in exchange for the haziness of waking life.

He smirked. A trip into wonderland. Perhaps he could show Alice around.


Bailey stood outside Julian's door nervously pacing. He'd heard the music, obviously. And now he knew the source of Julian's mysterious disappearances, his sarcasm, his defenses.

But who to tell…