Here I am.
But am I meant to be?
I'm wearing a dress, made of crushed velvet,
It's such a pretty color on me- I hope he'll like it.
My hair is touched up- as close to perfection as I can.
My eyes are lined with mascara and my lips taste like strawberry balm.
I've never seen myself look this way.
And I haven't felt exactly like this either.
My stomach is rolling, my mind is turning like a clock.
Speaking of which,
Where is he now?
Will he come for me after all?
Does he know that it's almost eight o'clock?
Oh, dear god…the dance will be starting soon.
I wonder if I even can dance.
Or if anyone will talk to me at all.
No one knows me, and I don't know anyone.
I want to be the best that I can, but I just don't know.
I feel like there is a stone in my heart, telling me I shouldn't have done this.
That maybe I should stay here at home.
I could listen to the radio, or maybe I can make another dress- one for school.
Mama and I can…Mama and I…can…
No. I couldn't possibly do anything with Mama.
Not by myself either.
I know that I want this, and that I can be strong.
The Lord must have something in store for me, if I am going tonight.
It is, after all, the last dance I will ever see happen.
So, here I am.
I am Carrie White. And I will try not to be afraid.
I will not be afraid. I will enjoy myself tonight.