Characters: Shizuo x Izaya
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara or any of it's characters.
Full Summary: Shizuo and Izaya are both experiencing depression, both trying to cope with it without letting any one else know, more specifically, each other. Whilst dealing with said emotion, Izaya receives an odd bruise on his wrist that begins to pull at his mental state of mind, causing his friends to worry in their attempt to bring him back to his normal self.
Izaya's eyes gazed blankly out at the night sky. There was a slight chill in the air, the wind wipping passed him and sending his clothes fummbling about his body, and his hair across his face. In his eyes showed the reflection of the night, and all of the cities lights. It was a beautiful sight to look out at, the air refreshing and relaxing.
Izaya let out a sigh as he tore his eyes away from the image and looked down at his wrist. There wasn't a single ounce of pain flowing through it at all, and the bruise seemed to almost look like a typical one. While the sight would be relaxing and carefree to anyone else, Izaya was far from relaxed. He had many things on his mind and many things that needed to be taken care of. He put a hand on his stomach, a slight pain shooting through him from his wounds. Taking one more glance out at the night sky, Izaya turned and began to make his way inside.
Shizuo let out a puff of smoke as he gazed out at the city before him. He pulled the cigarette away from his lips, tearing his gaze away from the few people passing by. It was so calm and cool outside. There was hardly anyone out, even where he was. Shizuo's mind was filled with a lot of thoughts, most of them about the flea. He loved him, he knew that much, but at the same time, he felt it wasn't how it should be.
It seemed so weird. Almost three months ago now, Shizuo would've been throwing anything he had at the man in an attempt to kill him, but now, he'd give everything he had to make sure Izaya's life would be secured.
Things would be okay for the time being, but who knew how long that would last. This seemed like the calm before the storm to him. They had just survived one, and now were being faced with another danger it seemed.
The blond man threw his cigarette to the ground, spun on his heel and stepped into the bar standing behind him. He quicky found the man he was seeking, and with two little words, Shizuo left that place forever.
He didn't think it would matter much if he was working or not, but if any members from the Yakuza were looking for him, he didn't want his boss or any of the other people that work there to get involved.
When Shizuo stepped outside again and was reunited with the night air, he spared a moment to look up at the night sky and allowed his mind to be clouded with questions that he knew he wouldn't be able to find an answer to.
For example, what happened to Delic and Pysche? And, where ever they were, were they happy? Shizuo felt a smile pull at his lips as he thought about Izaya. He wondered, were Pysche and Delic as happy as him and Izaya were? He knew he'd never receive an answer to that, but there was something inside of him that told Shizuo that they just had to be.
Two Months Later
"Ah, lookit how ugly that looks..." Izaya breathed out as he stared at himself in the mirror.
"Ugly?" Shizuo chuckled, walking up behind him. "That's what you're concerned about?"
Izaya rolled his eyes as he took his finger and ran it up along the marks that were left on his stomach. The scars left from the stab wounds looked hideous to him. "What else is there to be conerned about? I don't have to worry about splitting them open anymore."
"Thankfully." Shizuo replied. He placed himself behind Izaya directly, taking his hand and running it from his shoulder, down to Izaya's hand and bringing it up towards him. Izaya turned his body to allow Shizuo to bring his hand closer towards him for examination. He looked as if he were about to kneel down and kiss it, as if Izaya were some kind of prince.
"It doesn't hurt or anything..." Izaya stated, reading the look on Shizuo's face as one of worry.
"I wish it would just go away..." Shizuo mumbled, running his thumb over the bruise that still occupied Izaya's wrist. "I mean... Your stab wounds healed faster than this thing..."
"I don't think that's going to heal until...you know.." Izaya trailed off, a blush surfacing on his face. Shizuo did his best to ignore it and let out a sigh.
"It's not gonna start up again, is it...?"
"No, not as long as I keep possesion of the doll..."
Izaya smiled as he pulled his hand away from Shizuo, bringing the blond's attention forward. The raven haired man took his arms and slid them around Shizuo's neck, bringing their faces closer together. He brushed his nose against Shizuo's and then sighed. "I want to tell you stop worrying so much, but I can't help but love the faces you make when you do..."
Shizuo looked off to the side. "That's not a compliment, y'know."
"Is it really an insult, though?"
"..." Shizuo looked back at Izaya, their eyes locking before the blond instinctivly brough his hand up to brush part of Izaya's bangs out of his face. Afterwards, Izaya smiled and, stepping on his toes to reach, gave Shizuo a peck on the lips.
Shizuo's lips spread across his face as their eyes met once again, Izaya letting his arms slide off of Shizuo. "You know..." Izaya started, stepping away from the other. "After all this stuff that's happened, there's this one thing that's been bothering me for a while now..."
"Oh..? What's that?"
"Why did you even bring me to your house that night you found me drunk? Can't you get in trouble for that?"
Shizuo chuckled. "I just didn't feel like taking you all the way back to yours."
"It would be something simple like that..." Izaya stated, rolling his eyes.
"Now, why were you even there in the first place...?" Shizuo asked, stepping backwards and plopping himself down on his bed-or, their bed, as of recently.
Izaya made a face before walking over towards the bed and sitting down next to the blond. "Well...Like I told you a while back, I was feeling pretty upset.."
"..." Izaya sighed and then continued. "I was actually sleeping with someone up until that day, and it took me until then to realize how desperate I was being for some kind of affection, and instead of really accepting that, I tried to drink it off..."
Shizuo blinked, his heart turning a bit, but he didn't allow that feeling to cause him to act irrationally. Instead, he pushed it aside and asked something else. "But...I thought you said that...You were a...you know.."
"A virgin...? When did I say that?" Izaya asked, tilting his head to the side.
"A long time ago.. When we went out to buy stuff.. it was that day you borrowed some of Kasuka's clothes.."
"Oooh, right..." Izaya let out a laugh. "Ah, I remember.. You asked if I had ever banged someone, not if I was a virgin."
"What? It's the same thing..."
"It most certaintly is not the same thing. I've never "banged" anyone, but I have slept with people, men obviously. "
Shizuo thought a moment on it. "So.. You're saying you-" It finally clicked in his head and his face went red. "Ooh.. Trust you to complicate something like that.." He spat looking to the side.
"Heh." Izaya chuckled. "You just make it so easy to though, dear."
Shizuo rolled his eyes. "What ever you say..." He sighed. Izaya smirked and then leaned in closer to Shizuo, letting their noses barely brush against one anothers. They locked eyes, Izaya's burning with a passion that made Shizuo's nerves jump about. A blush formed across Shizuo's face as he held the other's gaze.
Izaya opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but no words came out. He felt his heart pounding against his rib cage, a slight thrill running through him as he tried to take that last step forward and put this curse to rest forever. Izaya took in a deep breath before he finally voiced his thoughts. "We should finish this..." He huffed out.
Shizuo let his eyes search Izaya's for a moment before he finally responded. "...I was thinking the same thing." Izaya smiled before leaning in closer and closing their lips together. The blond's hand naturally clutched onto Izaya's head, gripping his hair slightly as he brought them closer to each other. Their lips bounced off one anothers, tongues flickering into the mix as well. Izaya slipped his tongue passed Shizuo's lips and entangled it with the blonds. They spent some time kissing, Shizuo pushing Izaya backwards on the bed, resting him on his back. The duo parted lips for a moment, staring at each other as if to get the last confirmation to go through with this.
Shizuo glanced over the body underneath him and decided not to wait any longer. He dove downward and placed his lips directly against the nape of the smaller man's neck. Izaya's lips spread out into a huge smile as he squirmed about a little, trying to take in the feeling Shizuo was sending through him with every lick he gave him. Izaya's fingers raked through Shizuo's hair, the blond using his hands to peel the jacket off of Izaya. He tossed the clothing aside, not taking his mouth off of Izaya's skin until he felt fingers slip around his collar, pulling the buttons loose. Shizuo pulled forward, giving Izaya easier access to unbutton the clothing. Once his vest and shirt were tossed aside, the rest of the clothing came off in a matter of minutes. Izaya's shirt met Shizuo's on the floor, their pants being thrown off next, and then their boxers, thrown to opposite sides of the room.
Shizuo's eyes stared intently at the body underneath him, taking in all the small details about the man. He definitely had a girly figure, but his curves were more defined and toned like a males. His hip bones popped out while he lay flat on his back, his skin soft and delicate looking, completely opposite of the man he was. Shizuo had never seen anyone completely naked in front of him before, and he was certain he would never see anyone as beautiful either. His cheeks burned from the heat that was running through his entire body, but he wasn't really embarassed at all. He was comfortable with this. This felt natural, and right. His lips curved into a smile as Izaya brought his hands up and around his neck, pulling Shizuo down towards him for another passionate kiss.
This definitely felt right.
Their movements didn't even seem to take thought, it seemed more like some kind of dance, where their body just moved on its own from how well it knew the moves. Shizuo kissed all along Izaya's body, his lips touching anywhere and everywhere he could reach. Izaya's hands were all over the blond, feeling every crook and curve of him as his heart pounded wildly in it's ribcage. This was something Izaya had never experienced before, this feeling that pulsed through him so hard and fast, was something he never felt before and it was amazing.
Izaya's eyes trailed downward as he watched Shizuo position himself outside of his entrance after he had properly prepared himself. His cheeks flared up as he held his breath when the blond slowly penetrated him. Shizuo's body tensed up as he plunged himself deeper, his nerves bouncing around inside of him wildly as he used everything he could to allow time for Izaya to adjust to him.
Izaya let out a breath as his muscles began to relax. "Shizuo..." He huffed out as he let his hands travel up into the blond locks above him, gripping it as Shizuo finally pulled back and then gave Izaya a testing thrust. His fingers gripped onto his hair tighter, his teeth catching his lips as he bit down on them, closing his eyes.
Another thrust from the blond, and another, and then a rhythm of them following suit sent Izaya's whole body on edge, his veins tickling with pleasure as Shizuo delivered it. His face was on fire, his spine tingling as he arched his back upward to angle Shizuo's thrusts to his liking. Izaya parted his lips and let out a deep huff of air, trying to regain and loose himself in the feeling flooding him at the same time. "Ooh, Shizuo..." He moaned, turning his head to the side as his fingers raked through the blond's hair.
This feeling was so much better than he could've ever believed.
"Shizuuooo!" Izaya huffed out, his arms wrapping around Shizuo's neck, and pulling their bodies closer together. "Aahhh!" He moaned as the blond deepened his thrusts.
Shizuo's breathing hitched as he closed his eyes, his lips meeting Izaya's skin for the hundredth time that night, giving the raven haired man kisses all over his chest. Shizuo's hands felt along Izaya's curves before resting them underneath his upper back and holding him up as Izaya arched himself backwards, pushing himself further onto Shizuo and causing the pleasure between them to jolt their nerve system more than it had already.
Shizuo let out heavy breaths all along Izaya's neck, planting kisses inbetween his intakes of air. His hips rode against the man underneath him, his nerves going into a frenzy as he felt himself close to his climax.
Izaya's fingers were gripping onto the blond, releasing their grip and then clutching onto him again as he began to move with Shizuo, feeling himself close. He let out a long string of moans as Shizuo hit him in all of the right places, his heart pounding uncontrollably against his chest, his blood flowing through him and delivering large shocking and pleasurable hits to his nerves. He wasn't going to last much longer and he knew that. Izaya's breatheing came out rapidly as he called his lover's name. "Shizuo! Shizuooo! Shizuuu-Ahhh!" In the heat of his climax, Izaya crashed his lips into Shizuo's, pressing his body into the other's as close as he could as he spilled over. His grip tightened around the blond,a nd his toes curled as Shizuo filled Izaya with his seed, his thrusts all over the place as he rode out his climax.
"Ahh.." Shizuo breathed, his eyes closing as he finished. He gave a few more thrusts before completely collapsing onto Izaya.
The two laid there for a long moment, enjoying the afterglow and regaining their breath and proper heart rate. Izaya's let out small puffs of air, his hair messy and face flustered as his fingers instinctively started to play with Shizuo's hair. He blinked as his breatheing began to settle and then brought his arm up to look at his wrist.
He watched bewildered as the bruise began to dissappear entirely off of his wrist. A pair of lips against his cheek, and the brush of a thumb on his wrist pulled Izaya's eyes away from his skin, and down to the blond lying ontop of him. Their eyes locked, Shizuo kissing Izaya once more and then pulling away just far enough to whisper to him.
"I love you..." He breathed, lacing their hands together.
Izaya's voice was caught in his throat, as the words penetrated him with such a strong force, he was sure he would've fallen over had he been standing. Never before did something that seemed so little mean so much to him. Three words that never meant anything to him in the past, now meant the world to him, and he'd be damned if he ever let anyone take that away from him.
The words were so much for him, the feeling flowing through him sending his emotions over the edge, and filling his eyes with tears. His lips quivered a bit as he smiled, leaning down and planting a soft kiss on Shizuo's forehead, closing his eyes and letting the tears flow over. "I love you.." He repeated back to him.
This man, this one man that used to be Izaya's monster only so long ago was now the only thing in Izaya's world that seemed worth everything for. It was worth suffering through those months of pain, it was worth loosing his mind those couple of times, it was worth risking his life against the Yakuza for, it was worth pushing himself against Kasuka instead of giving up. It was worth every single second of his misery, it was worth all of it if it meant being with this man.
Izaya opened his eyes as he felt a thumb wipe away the tears he was crying.
It was worth everything to him, and it hurt him so much to know he had to let it go so soon. His eyes filled with more tears, blurring his sight as he stared at his lover.
He didn't want to let him go, he didn't want to leave his side ever, but it seemed he had no choice.
Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do, and it hurt so much more knowing that Shizuo had no idea what the pale man had in mind. Izaya sucked in some air, regaining himself, and nuzzling his head against Shizuo's as he made an attempt to get rest. "I love you so much..." He breathed as the two slowly drifted into their slumber.
Izaya ran his finger over his phone as he stared blankly at the time. 4:15 am. He let out a sigh as his whole body felt numb. His eyes looked back at the door he was standing in front of, staring blankly at Shizuo's front door. It took everything he had to not storm passed that door and straight into their bedroom, and throw himself at the blond. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't do it.
His heart twisted in pain as he plunged his hand into his pocket and pulled out the ticket he had purchased over a week ago. The date read for a flight at 5:30am to a place that Izaya knew no one would ever find him at.
He owned the majority of the island so of course no one would know of it.
It was a plan that Izaya had set up years ago for himself if he ever got into a situation where his existance would have to vanish. What he didn't like was that it had to be used now.
Only a few months after their encounter with the Yakuza and Izaya had already received threats from the memebers, as well as spotting some occassionally when he went out. There was no way he could continue to live here without being murdered at some point, even if he was living with Shizuo.
Izaya imagined how he used to think the hardest thing he would ever have to leave when this time came would be the city and the people that engulfed it. He never would've thought that the hardest part about this entire situation would be leaving the blond that used to chase him day in and day out.
He closed his eyes, felling his throat burn. "I tell him I love him and then up and leave..." He sighed, his lips shaking as he returned the ticket back to his pocket. "I'm so pathetic..."
Izaya jumped to the voice, spinning around as his eyes met a pair of dark brown ones. His heart jumped a bit as he realized he had been caught just before his escape. "Kasuka...Why on earth are you up right now? And going somewhere?" He added after noticing the bags he was carrying.
"An Actor can't leave during the day...Too many fans are out." He replied. "I should be asking you that though.."
Izaya sighed, looking down. He didn't really know what to say.
"I thought I told you not to hurt brother."
"...I know." Izaya breathed. "But.. I don't have a choice, Kasuka... What am I supposed to do? Stay here and put his and everyone else's life in danger while there's gangs of men that're coming after my head?" He let his eyes trail down as he mumbled. "...He'll forget about this whole thing in a year or two anyways..."
"No he won't." Kasuka responded, setting his bag down and stepping closer to Izaya. He reached for Izaya's hand and gripped it, pulling it up and placing it over Izaya's chest. The raven's eyebrows rose up at the gesture. "How can you forget that feeling?" He stated. Izaya felt the pulsing of his heart as Kasuka held his hand there, knowing that he'd never forget it himself. Kasuka released his hand and then reached for his bag again. "Brother's never been this happy before... It makes me happy." Kasuka smiled as he continued. "He doesn't hate himself for who he is anymore, and it's incredible..."
Izaya was quiet for a moment before finally speaking. "...What am I suppposed to do though...? I can't stay here..." Izaya fel tlike crying as he mumbled afterwards. "...but I don't want to leave him either..."
"Who said you had to leave him?" Kasuka smirked as he took a step forward, walking towards his car that was parked in the apartment parking lot. "You don't have to take just his memory with you, you know."
Izaya's eyes widened as he realized just what Kasuka was suggesting. Before he had the time to think of anything to say, Kasuka waved back at him with a true smile on his lips. "Goodbye, Izaya."
Izaya waved, and watched as the young actor pulled out of the place and left, starting up his acting career again after a long hiatus. The pale man looked down at his ticket once again, smiling. He cocked his head backwards and let out a loud laugh, tumbling backwards into the door, and then slidding down it as he went into a laughing fit.
After calming down, Izaya stared at the time on his ticket, and then pulled out his phone. The smile on his lips was stuck there as he dialed a number, waiting for the person on the other line to pick up.
"Narita Airport, How may I help you?"
"Hello, I was wondering if there was a chance of me purchasing another ticket for the flight at 5:30 this morning?"
Maybe.. Just maybe, this wasn't going to be hard for him to leave at all. He would just have to hope that the city would forgive him for taking such a precious souvenir with him.
"If you wanna say goodbye to everything..."Izaya blinked, looking up as if he'd see the blond standing behind him after hearing that. He cocked his head, knowing he had heard Shizuo's voice only a moment ago. "I can say goodbye too." Izaya's mouth dropped slightly as his lips curved up a bit. He knew that voice, and he knew exactly what it was telling him.
Only a moment later did he hear a much more chipper voice jump in, his mind displaying an image of what the voices were displaying for him. He could picture the boy smiling, his cheeks with a slight blush as he rocked back and forth on his heels. "And I could be right here empty with you, Izzy!"
"Empty with you, Eh?" Izaya breathed as he pictured the duo smiling and happy. Izaya smiled, closing his eyes after finishing his phone call and putting it away. He let his head roll back against the door as his lips spread across his face, his heart fluttering. "I could be empty with you, Shizuo..."
A/N: Why is this such a short finisher...? OTL This is technically the last chapter to this story, but THERE WILL BE ONE MORE UPDATE. That update will be the epilogue, which appears to be the "Izaya Swimming" one.
I also promised Chasurozu that I would leave a note here, because I love their stories, and they never update, and you all should go read them because I want an update and I think if you guys bother them enough, lovely updates will happen and I can be happy ;3; ilovethem...
I'll take this time to say that I absolutely love each and every single one of you guys, and that I am so grateful that you all took the time to read this story. I probably never would've gotten passed chapter 4 if it hadn't have been for all the reviews and alerts and favorites I received, and I'm truly grateful that.
On another note..
So, I purposely left out juicy details in the smut in this chapter, because I wanted it to have the "I love you" sappy, emotion with it, and I couldn't really keep that feeling while discussing their every movement, so I hope you'll forgive me for that.
Don't worry, the Epilogue will have plenty of juicy details.
Replies to Reviews:
CgB: I'm glad you were looking forward to this, and I'm so glad that you stuck with this story ;A; I love you so much. I hope the smut wasn't too big of a let down .w. I'm glad you would've bothered me, because I need someone to harp on me about finishing my stories x'D
Naoki: Thank you :'3 I'm glad you'v enjoyed this fic.
Remi: Thank you C: I'm stoked for this fic to be over actually. I hope this ending meets that happy ending.
Rai Rai Blue: -sniffle- I'm sorry for the late update xD I hope you enjoyed this :D And it appears that I'll be writing the Izaya learning to swim one~!.
And with this, I say Au revoir until the next update!