I Believe the Children Are Our Future
Will's shoulders are still shaking by the time he manages to get back into his apartment.
He wants to cry. He leans against the door, finally alone, not having to put pressure on his... wound just to drive home, and he wants to cry. Wants to sob and wail and let out his grief for all the world to hear. Anything like that.
And for a split second, he imagines someone will be there. His glee kids will have decided he shouldn't be alone, like they did on Christmas. Emma will have noticed him running away after school and gotten concerned. Even Sue; maybe she decided to implant cameras in his apartment to spy on his preparations for regionals, and he's gotten home while the job is half-done.
He imagines Terri coming out to find him breaking down against the door to their home, but he shakes the thought away. He hurts too much already.
He doesn't understand that it could have happened. How? He gave a boy detention, and tried to reach out to him, because... Because Will was concerned about him. That was a good thing to do. Things like this don't happen because of things like that.
He thinks of Kurt. Was it because Karofsky was so awful to him? Is this some kind of karmic punishment Will earned for just ignoring that; for pushing aside his loyalty to his former club member to try and help another kid?
Karofsky told him all this stuff, horrible things he can't get out of his head. He's going to be sick.
"It's all your fucking fault, you faggot. Made 'em all respected and shit. You and your fucking club, gave Hummel some fucking guts. Let him into the fucking world. Let him into my fucking head; let him make me some kind of..."
And Will vomits. Falls forward on all fours and lets sticky, slimy puke land on the floor.
God, Karofsky – Dave; you call your students by their first names – cried. He fucking cried as he held Will down, lay on top of him, tore his...
Will shakes his head. He doesn't understand how it could have happened – David is seventeen. A kid. A child. A child who has done some horrible things, particularly to Kurt, but nothing irredeemable. That's why he tried to reach out to David. He looked like he had genuinely made progress that week he was in Glee, and to see all that disappear... Will's never been the kind to just give up on a student. What kind of teacher would?
Then again, what kind of teacher does this happen to?
Will knows that – it doesn't happen this way. Children don't do this to their teachers. They're kids; they are, more or less, innocent. Teachers take advantage of their students sometimes – it's disgusting and horrible, but that's what happens. Not the other way around. Why would it?
Will can't think. Dave surely can't have meant to do what he did – he's seventeen. He didn't understand. Will must have done something, confused him somehow. He was the responsible adult in the situation, and he obviously let a kid that needed him down terribly.
On some level, Will knows that doesn't make any sense. He doesn't know what he's meant to have done, and what could possibly have made this his fault? It's not like he was unclear about saying no. Even for a child, what is there to get confused about?
But he knows, he just knows. Maybe he shouldn't have tried so hard. He must have spooked the boy – it's important to reach out to your students, of course, but you can only try so hard to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Maybe Dave misinterpreted his intentions – Will did get him alone and then try to initiate an intensely personal conversation. Maybe he thought sex was what Will wanted. But how could he just ignore...?
It's all Will can do not to throw up again. He can't think straight. Instead, he slowly pushes himself up and sets about cleaning the floor and changing his (slightly bloody) dirty clothes, so he can look the reasonable, mature adult, even though he knows he's not going to feel it any time soon.