Disclaimer: I own nothing, noth-ing!
A/N: Power Rangers has had this coming for a long time. Suggestions? Comments? Keep 'em PG, and I can guarantee their inclusion, even if I've never heard of what you're referencing.
If you're confused about the change, prophet144 warned me that lists are not allowed—thank you!—so I put in a framing device, like the Star Trek: TOS version I saw, and now it's a story.
"Welcome to Time Force," Captain Logan said, pacing in front of the three newly promoted cadets. "Jacob Nicholson, Rachel Sanchez, and Lawrence Harvey. From now on, you are authorized to perform time travel. However, there is a list of guidelines—"
"We've read it, sir," Nicholson said quickly. Captain Logan glared, and the gawky young man shrank back.
"I am referring to the unofficial guidelines," Logan said, "which you may have heard portions of. Since the list is both long and constantly being added to, you will receive twenty rules at regular intervals. Here is the first installment. Dismissed." He handed Harvey, the unofficial team leader, a data card, and the trio saluted.
Harvey shoved the data card into the nearest computer, and the three gathered around the holographic screen.
1. Zordon has already heard every possible Wizard of Oz joke, and that is not a challenge.
2. I will not ask Leo who died and put him in charge.
"What is this, a joke?" Rachel demanded.
"Does Captain Logan joke?" Nicholson asked.
"I think somebody in Time Force actually did these things, and we're not supposed to get any ideas," Harvey replied. "You remember who all these people are, right?"
"Duh," Nicholson said, "we all had to pass the exam on former Power Rangers, didn't we?"
3. I will not give Rita headaches.
4. The Machine Empire, despite being a empire, does not have any: Decepticons, Cybermen, Borg, Toclafane, Daleks, Cylons, Replicants, Terminators or any other mecha from other franchises.
-And I will not explain any of these creatures to them.
-Nor will I attempt to get them any.
6. I will not refer to Astronema's second evil form as "Astronema of Borg."
7. Dillon is not the Terminator
8. If I so much as think of Tenaya as the Terminatrix, both siblings will have every right to beat the stuffing out of me.
9. I will not inform Cam that "Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries."
-He doesn't watch Monty Python, and won't get the joke.
-And as he is a Samurai, I would only be hurting myself.
-Besides, Sensei Watanabe was a guinea pig, not a hamster.
10. I will not reprogram any version of Alpha to be less annoying.
-Not even Alpha 6 during Turbo.
-Especially if I don't know what I'm doing.
-In fact, I will not attempt to reprogram anything I am not qualified to.
-Even if it belongs to a villain.
"I wonder who actually did these things," Sanchez wondered, grinning.
"You guys read faster than me, could someone read it aloud?" Nicholson asked. Harvey cleared his throat, and read.
"11. I will not kill Elgar.
12. Despite how much the fans enjoyed his performance, I will not attempt to recreate Evil Alpha.
13. I will not draw an H on Alex's forehead if I happen to find him asleep.
-Nor will I do the same to Sky.
14. I know the difference between Harry Potter and Power Rangers. Therefore, I will stop calling Nick "Harry."
15. I will not nickname Justin "Wesley Crusher."
16. I will not nickname Mack "Data."
-Nor will I leave little orgami unicorns around his house.
17. I will not nickname Tyzonn "Quicksilver," even though it's technically an accurate name.
"Whoever it was was a nerd," Nicholson said. "Probably one of the Time Force Rangers."
18. Some Rangers have duplicate names, but I know which is which. Therefore, if Commander Cruger asks for Kat Manx to come and look at the new Zord diagnostics, I will not send Kat Hilliard, and vice versa.
19. I will not make up monsters, pretend to be their manager, and get a villain to hire them to destroy the Rangers for any fee.
-Even though the dumber generals keep falling for it.
20. I will not list the ways I hate Bulk and Skull in public.
-Or the Turbo Rangers.
-Or anyone else who annoys me."
Captain Logan walked by, heard the laughter, and grinned to himself. Even in the year 3000, people still came up with initiations. Hopefully, these three recruits would be able to add to the list when their turn came.
A/N: Specifically, I do not own Power Rangers, the Wizard of Oz, Transformers, Doctor Who, Star Trek: TNG, Blade Runner, Terminator, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Red Dwarf, Harry Potter, or Marvel Comics. I haven't even watched half of those things, I'm just a nerd with a general knowledge of this stuff.