Sue's Journal: Grease Head and Ginger
Notes: Set during Season 2, episode 13, "Comeback".
He's definitely over her. And it comes as a bittersweet shock one morning, as he's buttering his toast before heading to the high school. Emma Pillsbury is no longer the last thing on his mind when he goes to sleep and the first thing on his mind when he wakes up. Her face is becoming a less frequent fixture in his dream life- the scenarios of which vacillate between the ratings of G and NC-17- and when he thinks of her, the pang of regret is almost unnoticeable.
That's it. Will Schuester is finally a free man. This means no more hopeless daydreaming, no more berating himself for past mistakes, no more reading self-help books to lift his heart from the pits of despair. He's finally done with that nauseating Dr. Phil bullshit, he can truly get on with his life.
Or that's what he wants to believe, anyway.
He's teaching his second period Spanish class, mentally rejoicing over the fact that his heartstrings are no longer attached to an unrequited lover, and verbally trying to excite his apathetic class about a foreign language. He feels happier than he has in months, like he is footloose and fancy free, and nobody will take that away from him-
"Uh…" he freezes, and the look of annoyance on her face must tip his ex-flame off to the fact that he is not happy to see her. If this were any other day- yesterday, even!- he would have been over the moon at the simple fact that she was standing in his classroom doorway. But today is a brand spankin' new day and he is totally over her. He thinks. No, he's pretty sure. He has to be, or he'll be right back where he started, reading tomes of Dr. Phil and wallowing in self-pity on a nightly basis.
"It's important." Emma says, her fiery red hair is longer than he remembers. He likes it. "Sue."
Sue? Will frowns. If William McKinley High School is a cast system- the very thing that Sue had accused it of being- then Sue Sylvester, coach of the cheerleaders, is its main villainess. The track-suit wearing, pixie-haired woman is evil. She has tried to run Will's glee club into the ground before, and almost succeeded. But thanks to recent events, Will has managed to procure a fair amount of the cheerio's budget for glee club usage. The rest of it went to help Sparky, a three-legged, one-eyed dog who apparently needed the money to feed his three raggedy pups (seriously! It was on the news and everything! Will thinks it's just a brilliantly idiotic scheme on the part of Sparky's owner, mostly because he went to high school with the guy and remembers what he was like, and Sparky is a Dalmatian. The puppies are wiener dogs).
Anyway. Sue has been terrorizing everyone in the school, even Figgins, and she'd never, ever been nice to Emma Pillsbury, constantly degrading her for her phobia of germs. What had Sue done to put that fear in Emma's beautiful- err, what? No, he meant mesmerizing. No, no, what he actually should say is that her eyes are wondrous… agh, shit, just forget it!- green eyes?
But Sue has not threatened Emma with anything, or put fake dog poo on her chair (the last time it happened, Emma was so distraught that she refused to re-enter her office until a professional cleaning crew had come by and sanitized the place nine times. She would've pushed for a tenth, but Figgins refused to allow it), in fact, Sue wasn't even in her office.
"I found this in her journal." Emma holds Sue's precious, private book out for Will to see. He takes it, his brow furrowing. On the page, Sue has written (boldly, as always) of her plans to leave the "cruel world" and commit Sue-icide (it's always about you, isn't it, Sylvester?)
"What should we do?" Emma implores, peering up at them with her doe eyes. Will tries really hard not to let them suck him in, tries not to think about how much he wishes he could kiss her- but he doesn't! He's totally over her, he swears on his old VHS copy of Singing in the Rain… does it matter that he knows his VHS copy is history because it was chewed to bits? Not by the VCR, but by one of Terri's crazy ginger nephews- Will focuses on the problem at hand. As awful as she is, he doesn't want to see Sue get hurt. He is a firm believer that everyone is good deep down. Very, very deep down in Sue's case.
They drive to Sue's house, Emma paging through Sue's journal in the passenger's seat. "Oh my gosh," she says, her voice a dismayed bleat, "there are tons of distressed entries in here… why didn't Sue ask for any help?"
"Distressed?" Will repeats, "what does her journal say?"
"Dear journal… life is meaningless."
Will snorts. "That's kind of cliché. For Sue, I mean. You'd think, with her sense of panache she'd come up with something better." Really, he's just trying to make a joke, because he's hoping that Sue's life has not lost its meaning altogether. As brutish as his rival is, McKinley high school would be just another public school in just another struggling small town if she were not there.
"Dear journal… happiness has abandoned me." Emma gasps. "I wonder if she has abandonment issues? No wonder she married herself! Oh, I should've seen the signs!"
"Don't blame yourself," Will soothes.
Emma's eyes travel down the page and he notices, from the corner of her eye, that her skin flames up as if she's just been badly embarrassed.
"D-dear journal," Emma's voice is an unsteady waver, but she clears her throat and plunges on. "The only thing that amuses me anymore, the unresolved sexual tension between Grease Head and Ginger, has now left my life. Ginger went and married this guy who was named after the father of modern communism (stinking communists!), and bears a suspicious resemblance to Uncle Jesse-" at this, Emma stops reading, her eyes squinting suspiciously. Finally, she continues.
"Grease Head is still the same, but without the love and support of his sweet-eyed little Bambi replica, he's not nearly as much fun. And he hasn't bought any new vests in awhile. I can only spew the same lines about the cast of Blossom so many times before I start plagiarizing… myself! I wish they'd just hurry up and get back together already, and live happily ever after, so I can destroy their fairy tale."
Will laughs at this. "Thanks, Sue."
"What?" Emma whips her head in his direction, they're nearing the coach's ridiculously huge house.
"I just meant that she will always take me down. The only reason she wants me to be happy is so that she can take it away." And he also means 'thanks, Sue' because now he's not over Emma. Who was he kidding? He never was! And it kinda makes him happy like a thirteen-year-old girl on the inside that Sue hates Carl and wants Will and Emma together.
"Oh, Will. Sue won't always be able to take happiness away from you." Emma says sympathetically, they are pulling into Sue's huge circular driveway.
They rush into the house and Will does the honour of busting into Sue's locked bedroom. There, he finds his adversary lying on the bed, surrounded by vitamin bottles. Bottles, he later discovers, that are full of harmless gummy vitamins for children under 10.
"Grease Head! Ginger!" Sue barks jovially, "it's about time you got here."
"Sue," Will starts disapprovingly.
"You know, William, you have the fatherly tone down. Why don't you two go make mutant red-haired, grease-headed babies and leave me in my misery?"
He's tempted to take her up on that. But can't. "We can't do that, Sue."
"Sure you can. Go!"
"Sue, come on, let's get you back to school." Will and Emma trade exasperated looks as Sue pops one last vitamin.
"You know," she says, hopping off the bed and walking out without acknowledging either of her saviours. "It would be a lot easier the rest of us if you just got together, already!"
Will keep his mouth shut, but he couldn't agree more.
Hey guys! After a long hiatus, I've finally returned to the Glee fandom. This is a plot bunny that started bouncing around at school one day on break, and since I finally had some spare time, I finished it. It's certainly not my best piece of writing, and I apologize for that, but hopefully there are better things to come in the future. Write a review, save a unicorn -smiles-.