Sadness of a Demon

By Female Heero Yuy

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or the official characters, no matter how much that would make me happy xD.



It was like it always was. Bard exploded the kitchen. Maylene broke the dishes. Finni destroying the garden. Tanaka being Tanaka. And his master being a spoiled brat. Sebastian felt his stress at it's peak and ran to the garden where she always was. To see her. She always made his stress go away. He swung the door to the side garden open and slammed it shut. This was his own personal garden he kept just for her. And she seemingly loved it. Walking around with a food dish. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty." he called her as he walked about the garden with her meal. "It's supper time." he furrowed a brow when she didn't appear. Placing the dish on the ground he started crawling around on his hands and knees looking under bushes and shrubs for her. "Kitty?" he grew exceedingly concerned. Until he finally found her. Under the red rose bush in the corner of the garden.

He sat on the heels of his feet and kept looking where she was silently. A single tear rolling down his cheek. Whether or not he noticed it was uncertain, for he made no attempt to wipe it away even as it fell to his knee.


He took the utmost care in making her coffin. Cushioning it with the finest silk, and the wood of the finest ceder to keep the worms from eatting her remains. He put her small coffin that held her body in the hole he'd dug under the rose bush of which he'd found her. Placing on top of her resting place a single white rose. As a demon he would not pray for her eternal soul. But the sadness he felt at her loss was great and weighed heavy on his very being. He did not know how to cope with her loss. He'd never cared so much for something before. Sure he was aware she was to die someday, but he thought she'd live a few more years in the least.

Getting up he dusted his pants off of dirt and walked back into the house, silently, in a zombie like state as it took much effort to even open the door. Taking a final glance before shutting the door.


Ciel tapped his fingers as he was greatly annoyed at the demon as of late. For days he just seemed to do as he was told, but with a sense of doing it just for the sake of doing it. Not really doing anything because he was ordered to. It was like he was there but not there. He wanted to know what was up, but the demon only kept saying he was fine. "That guy is annoying me." he muttered.

"Young master don't you think we should find out what's wrong? It's rather unusual for him to be so distant." Tanaka stated as his usual self.

"I've tried, and he says the same thing over and over!" he pounded his fist on his desk.

"Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it?" Bard stated with a puff of his cigarette. "Most men don't express their feelings. It'd be a sign of weakness."

"But talking about it can make people feel better!" Maylene stated.

"That's right! He should open up to us! We've lived together for so long he should know we all care!" Finni stated.

Ciel's eyes closed slightly, "I want to teach him a lesson." he mumbled.

"What?" Bard looked shocked.

"I'm tired of everything going by what he wants. I want to teach him a lesson. One he'll never forget." he thought for a moment.

"Don't you think thats abit much?" Maylene stated.

"He'll get over it." Ciel stood up. "And your all helping. Don't tell him a single thing about this."

Everyone looked at one another hesitantly, but nodded in agreement.


A day later Sebastian was feeling alittle more like himself. Still he was sad over the death of his favorite cat. But he would move on. He was going to the dining room but saw a peculiar sign. "No black haired people allowed?...What is this?" He tried the knob, but found it locked. Knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" came Ciel's voice.

"It's me young master."

"Sorry no entry for you." he responded.


"Because you have black hair, that's why. Read the sign."

"I've read your sign, and I find it utterably silly. Open this door." he put his hands on his hips.

"I will not, this is a special club for non black haired people only."

"Non black haired people..." his whispered. "That's absurd. What game are you playing young master?"

"None of your business!"

"Then i'll just kick the door down and enter then."

"This is an order you are not to kick the door down! Got it! Do NOT kick the door down!"

Sebastian scoffed as he felt his contract burn slightly to show he'd been given an absolute order. "Fine, see if I care about your childish game." he walked away frustrated. He didn't want to deal with his master's childish games or pranks. Not when he was still hurt over the his loss.


Sebastian was growing more and more frustrated with his master and the other servants. Everyday they locked themselves in the dining room. Sounds of laughter and joy coming from behind the locked door. While everyone was having fun. He was working. His stress levels had escalated ten fold and he didn't have an outlet to let it go. Sitting against his bedroom door he gripped at his head as though he were in pain, slamming his back against his door in an attempt to ease his stress. "Stop it...stop it.." he kept repeating over and over like a mantra. Panting heavily as his eyes were wide. Even while the other servants were having fun, they still did their daily destruction of the house and household items. And it was as if they did it more often than usual, causing him even greater amounts of stress.

The bell to the dining hall rang in his room, signalling that they wanted something. He started rocking himself back and forth where he sat as he started hyperventilating, just wanting the bell to silence itself. "Shut up..." it kept ringing constantly, urgent in it's call to him. "Shut up..." Always the bell rang. Every 10 minutes each day it rang. Everyone wanting something more and more. Not giving him a single moment of rest. "Shut up..." he whimpered. "Shut...up.." he choked as he hugged himself.


He looked weary as he pushed the cart of various treats to the door of the dining hall. The latest request from his master and the other servants. Knocking on the door to signal he was there.

The door creaked open and an eye peeked out from it's opening. "About time you arrived. We're starving. Leave so that way we can bring them in."

"Yes my lord." he spoke in a barely audible whisper. And slowly turned to walk away, going around by a corner and leaning his back against the wall. He could hear the door opening fully and the cart being wheeled in before it closed once more. Taking a breath he walked back in the direction of the dining hall so that he could go to the kitchen but the laughter caught his attention once more causing him to stop in his steps. He could hear them speaking even though he wasn't near the door.

"Wow this is so good!" Finni's voice stated.

"It's okay." Ciel stated. "Atleast I know he's good for something."

"Yeah, other than being a total jackass." Bard laughed.

"Well useless people always have to make themselves feel superior." Ciel stated. "If it wasn't for the fact that he had a job, he'd probably be lazy and sitting on his ass all day. What would he do without us?"

Sebastian norminally could take such insults and bad mouthing direct at him with a grain of salt. But with everything going on lately he just couldn't seem to get himself to handle it. So he walked to the front door, and opened it. It was pouring outside due to a heavy storm. Some how he felt that the current weather was fitting to his mood. Tossing the house's keys to the floor he shut the door and walked into the pouring rain.


Maylene looked at her snacked in her hands. "Young master don't you think we should stop now? Sebastian seems really lonely."

"Hmmmm." Ciel had a spoon in his mouth from the parfait in he was eating. "I guess ten days is enough for that guy." he put his parfait on the table. Opening the door he pulled the sign off. "Sebastian!" he called. Waiting a few minutes as he started tapping his foot. "Sebastian!"

"Hey there are keys here." Finni stated as he bent down to pick up a set of keys. "Aren't these the keys to the house?"

"Those are Sebastians!" Maylene shouted with worry as she already feared the worst.

Ciel's eye grew wide as he took the keys from Finni. "Search the house for Sebastian, that's an order!"

"Yes sir!"everyone else saluted and ran off to find the missing butler.


He didn't know where his feet were taking him. He just knew he couldn't stand to stay in that house any longer. Not without her. The downpour had made him become completely soaked. And his shoes were caked in a light amount of mud. A carriage was passing by him, this wheels splashing him with muddy water, but still he kept walking in his pace. Even as the carriage stopped and turned around. Within moments it caught up to him and went slightly past him, stopped and the door opened. "Sebastian!" Frances shouted as she opened the door in surprise. "What do you think your doing out here in this rain?"

He stopped walking when he realized who it was, but his eyes still faced the ground. "I..." his voice trembled. "have no where to go..." he whispered. Frances blinked at him confused. "The young master...doesn't need me anymore...i'm useless..." tears streamed down his face. Though they were hardly noticable with the rain. "I'm alone..."

When he was about to take a step, Frances grabbed his shoulder silently.


Frances sighed heavily has she dried her wet hair with a towel her servant had brought her. Though she'd only been outside for a few minutes she was soaked. "Prepare a hot bath in my room. I'll be there shortly." she told a maid.

"Yes madam." she bowed and left to do her task. She turned to look at Sebastian who was wrapped in a blanket. "You come with me." she ordered him. And made way to her son's room. Opening his door, she surprised her son who was at his desk studying.

"Mother." he acknowledged her. "What's he doing here?" he pointed to Sebastian.

"I found him walking along the road. For now he'll be staying with us until the storm clears. I want you to watch him."

"You want me to watch a servant of that brat?"

"Do not argue with me." she growled. "Get him cleaned up. I'm going to make a call." she walked to leave the two in the room. "He'll be sleeping with you tonight until other arrangements can be made." she closed the door with that.

"Uhhhgggg." he groaned as he put his face in his hand. "Well hurry up and get out of those wet clothes, your getting my rug wet."

Sebastian tightened his hold on the sheet covering him, keeping his gaze away from Edward.


Frances growled in frustration as she sat in her room in her bathrobe. She'd taken her bath to warm up and was attempting to call her nephew, but the phone lines were down. Sitting in her recliner she tried to think on what steps she should take in her current situation.


Sebastian was exceedingly weary, even as he attempted to button up the borrowed shirt. It was as if his fingers wouldn't cooperate and it took him longer than usual to button up a simple shirt.

"Will you hurry up! I want to go to bed sometime tonight! Honestly to share a bed with a servant, how degrading." Edward shouted from his room. He was already in his pajamas, under the covers of his bed as he awaited the butler to get in so he could sleep. Sebastian finally walked into the room as if he were a zombie and stood by the beds edge. "Well?"

"I'm fine here."

"What are you going to do sleep standing up? Just get under the covers so we can sleep!" he flipped open his covers so Sebastian could climb into bed. "It's not as if we're going to do anything inappropriate!"

"I'm fine."

"Uhhhgg!" Edward shouted and grabbed Sebastian by his wrist to force him to lay in the bed. Covering him with the comforter as he blew out the candles so he could sleep. "Your usually better than this. Something happen?" he laid down.

Sebastian laid on his side. All his energy just seemed to have drained out of him entirely, and he didn't seem to have the strength to even protest. "It's nothing..." he whispered as he closed his eyes.

"Hmmmm..." Edward hummed as he stared at his ceiling. "Guess even guys like us can feel heartache." he muttered as he fell asleep.


Sebastian was in the same position he'd been in since he'd fallen asleep. Edward had his face turned at Sebastian, having turned in his bed at some point. A shadow loomed over them, even as they slept peacefully. A hand went to Sebastian's shoulder and shook him lightly. He simply groaned in annoyance and snuggled deeper into the covers. The hand shook him abit harder making him wake up this time and look over at the person who was waking him up so early.

"Get up." Frances stated in her normal voice, not even caring that her son was still sleeping. Sebastian sat up in the bed rubbing at his eyes as he looked up at her. "Get dressed at meet me in the hallway." she left the room.

Looking about the room for a moment he saw his uniform, now dry and clean, at the edge of the bed. Picking it up he got dressed and did as he was told by going out into the hall to meet her. She was on the phone and held up a hand for him to be silent.

"I see. Thank you." she hung up the phone. It seemed the phone lines were up and running again. "It seems some of the lines are still down. So I won't be able to call my nephew for the time being."

"I don't care." he muttered as he looked off to the side. "I can't go back there."

"Oh?" she raised a brow as stared at him. "I always took you to be the most loyal of servants. Why the sudden change?"

He didn't answer her. He just kept his gaze averted from meeting her own. On the outside Frances was calm and collected, on the inside she wanted to wring his neck for refusing to answer. Though Sebastian was a servant, he was her nephews servant. There were some things she could not do no matter how much she wanted to.

"Fine. Have it your way." she tried alittle bit of reverse psycology. "Just so you know your stuck here due to the storm getting worse." she turned her back on him. "So for the time being you will earn your keep. Is that clear?" she looked over her shoulder. And was shocked to see he was actually walking away from her, heading towards the stairs as he prepared to leave. "SEBASTIAN!"


Ciel could honestly say, though he hated to admit it, that he was honestly worried about his butler. He was no where to be found in the house and with the storm getting worse, they couldn't leave the manor to search for him outside. He wasn't being so foolish as to pretend the demon hadn't left the house. And he was sure the demon was actually fine. But that didn't mean he wasn't worried. He was also making a mental note to himself to beat the demon for leaving the house without permission.


Frances was lounging on the sofa in her entertainment room. She was frustrated, but in the least she'd gotten Sebastian to stay. She glared at him even as he made her some tea and handed her the cup. "Thank you."

"It is a black tea with lemon as requested." he stated. "Is there anything else you require?"

"Yes indeed. I'd like to know what happened." she stated as she sipped her tea as though she was being casual.


"If you say your fine one more time i'm going to beat you with a stick!"

He clamped his mouth shut after she'd said that. Her reaction was more of the Frances he knew. Not the one who was trying to be understanding earlier. He also wouldn't put it past her to actually go ahead with her beating.

"Sit." she patted the spot next to her.

"Huh?" he looked at her confused.

"Did I stutter? I said sit!" she ordered. He sat down immediately where she indicated. But was stunned when she pulled his head into her lap. "Sometimes I wonder if your really just a butler." she muttered as he covered his eyes with her arm as she grasped his shoulder. "It's okay to cry you know." she whispered in his ear.

That was all it took before his tears started falling and he completely let himself go. He cried for what felt like hours, his pain and agony coming out all at once and continously pouring out in torrents.

"It's okay." Frances petted him so kindly as she'd never done before. "It's okay just let it all out."


Edward walked into the entertainment room and was shocked to see his mother watching television with the butler's head on her lap. She didn't even seem to mind which shocked him even more. "What's going on?" he asked out of surprise.

"Just a little bit of emotional relief." she responded as she continued to watch the television as if nothing seemed strange. "He had himself a good cry and fell asleep."

"Father will be angry if he sees another mans head on your lap." he stated bluntly.

"He'll get over it." she responded as if it didn't phase her.

Edward sighed as he took a seat on the other sofa. For a moment the silence was suffocating, and he kept fiddling with his fingers, but he couldn't help but ask. "So what was he upset about?"

"None of your buisness."

"Aww come on! I had to share my bed with him! I should atleast know why!"

"If he wanted you to know he'd tell you. Now shut it, my movie is on." she stated with authority. Moving her hand to Sebastian's shoulder as she kicked up her legs to the couch to lean on her side abit.

Edward hunched over in his seat as he released a deep breath.

"By the way he's still sleeping in your room." she took a bite of her snack.


"Shuuusssshh!" she shussed him as she kept her gaze on the television. Edward looked at the tv and waited for a commercial before he decided to ask his next question.

"Why my room? Can't he sleep in the servants quarters?"

"I would of put him there if we had room to spare. Unfortunately due to the storm we're short on space."

"Since when?"

"Since some of our own servants had relatives visiting and were stormed in to the point where even the guest rooms are being used. Now silence! My movie is back on."

Edward promptly smack himself on his head. "Ow."


Ciel shook the phone in a rage. His phone lines were down, and so he was stuck. He was lowering himself to actually call Scotland Yard to help him find his missing butler. Apart of him was glad his phones weren't working. Because it dawned on him on insane he must of been to actually consider Randall of all people to help him.

"Young master I told you your lesson went to far..." Maylene spoke in a shy manner.

"Hey don't put this on the young master, how was he supposed to know that guy actually had feelings?" Bard responded.

"You went along with it!" Finni argued.

"You went along with it too!" Maylene shot back.

"QUIET!" Ciel shouted, making the others stop arguing instantly. "I don't want anymore arguing! Got it!"

"Yes sir." they responded.

"Good! Now go find a way to find my butler!"


When Sebastian woke up, he felt like he had the greatest sleep on the face of the earth. He also realized he'd gotten a cramp from being in the same position for so long. He got up and stretched, stiff muscles protesting and bones popping as he did so.

"Have a good sleep?" Frances asked as she took a sip of her lemonade.

"How long was I out?" he asked.

"Long enough for me to watch two movies and have lunch." she smirked as she took another sip of her lemonade.

"Oh my how rude of me. I apologize." he stated in his typical manner. "Why didn't you wake me up?" he asked curiously.

"Eh." she shrugged. "I had nothing better to do with the storm."

"It's still raining?" he was surprised as he looked out the window. Outside it was raining horribly to where it was even hailing. His thoughts went to his favorite cat, but he remembered she was gone. 'Atleast she won't have to endure such storms again.'

"SEBASTIAN!" Frances shouted.

"Huh?" he jumped and looked at her. "What?"

"I said your sleeping in Edwards room." she tapped her fingers.

"That's not necessary, I can simply..." he was cut off.

"No space in the servants quarters."

He blinked a few times, "I was going to say..."

"Your not walking out in this storm either." she left no room for arguement.

'How does she do that?' he thought in his mind. Her actions reminded him greatly of his mother when he tried to get something past her and she knew before he said anything. He briefly wondered if it was a female instinct thing. "Where is the Marquis?"

"Edward is studying, my husband is stuck at his office."

"I see." he thought for a moment. "As I recall you stated I had to earn my keep while here, so I guess i'll go and clean."

"My servants are already taking care of that." she shifted in her seat.

"Then i'll cook something." he tried.

"Dinner will be ready in about an hour."

He tried to think for a moment, but came up with nothing as he was sure she would just tell him there was no laundry to be done. "How am I supposed to earn my keep then?"

"Edward needs help with his studying, obviously his tutors can't come in this storm."

"Certainly, what subjects is he studying?"


Sebastian sat on the bed and was at a total loss. He'd come as he'd been ordered to help Edward study, only to be told to sit on the bed and be silent. He wasn't sure how to handle the matter. Especially since Edward seemed completely capable of doing his work on his own. The Marchioness told him he wasn't to leave the room til Edward finished for the day. So he was stuck. Sitting there doing nothing. It made him think back on everything that'd happened. Gazing out the window as the rain poured down continously it dawned on him that he had a huge dilema. He had a contract with his master, as a demon he was to do as his master said. But his master stated he didn't need him anymore. Yet his master hadn't broken the contract. Was he to go back and pretend like he hadn't heard anything? No. He thought in his mind. She wasn't there to make things easier for him. Without her it would be pure torture. Lifting his knees up to his chin he sat there in thought.

Edward stretched as he finally completed his studies. "Get me some tea." he ordered.

Sebastian seemed to just be in his own thoughts even as Edward turned around to see him not moving. He blinked several times as he waited to see if the butler would do something. "Oie." he called. And received no reaction. "OIE!" he tried again.

Sebastian jumped as he realized he'd been caught off guard again. "Uh huh?"

"Get me some tea." he ordered again.

Sebastian shifted on the bed so he could put his shoes back on. "Certainly sir, any particular one?" he tied his shoes.

"Whatever is fine."

Walking over to Edwards personal teas he made a selection of Jackson's Earl Grey. The water had already been heated. Sebastian found it rather odd that a noble would have the items needed to make tea in his own room, but he wasn't going to argue. When he was finished he offered Edward the cup.

Edward took it and took a sip. "Hmmm. You seem adept to making tea."

"The young master has tea throughout the day. What would I do if I couldn't do something such as this?"

Edward blinked at the awkward response and turned in his seat. "Well, your alot better at making tea than our servants. I'll give you that much."

"Is there anything else you require?"

"No. I'm finished with my studies."

"I see." he just stood idly by. He wished his master was so disciplined in his own studies. He also realized since he didn't know this house's schedule he didn't know what to do with himself. He was ordered to help Edward with his studies, but it wasn't required. So far the only thing he'd done all day was make the cup of tea he'd just given Edward. On the inside he was also greatly embarrassed that he'd spilled his guts out at Frances of all people. He couldn't believe how much she had him twisted around her little finger. She could probably say jump and his response would be how high. He shook his head, and made a mental note that he had to stop doing that.

"It's time for dinner." Edward got up.

"It is?" Sebastian looked at his watch. It was five pm. "So early." he muttered.

"We have dinner at reasonable hours here." he stated, and then there was a knock on his door. "Come in."

A maid came in pushing in a cart with dishes. "Dinner sir." she stated.

"Place it on the table." he pointed as he walked into the bathroom for a moment. Sebastian heard the faucet go on, indicating Edward was washing his hands before supper.

"Shall I help you?" Sebastian offered as he helped to set the table.

"Thank you sir."

"There certainly is alot of food here. The Marquis must eat alot." he stated as he noted the number of dishes.

The maid giggled as she placed another dish on the table. "No, no sir, this is a meal for two."

"Oh? Is he expecting company?" he asked.

The maid giggled again. "That's silly sir. Surely you didn't think the Marchioness would let you starve did you?"

"Huh?" was all he got out after she bowed and bid them goodnight.

Edward came back in and sat at the table. Taking his folded napkin and placing it on his lap. "Well? Aren't you going to eat?"

"But for a servant to dine with..."

"Oh shut up and eat." Edward served himself some soup that was in the soup dish. It was a hearty beef stew. Sebastian took a seat and looked over that the spread he'd helped place on the table. Meatloaf with mashed potatos, corn on the cob, a leafy green salad, the soup, some bread, and a large bottle of wine. He grabbed the wine and stood up.

"Some wine sir?" he offered.

"Hmm." Edward pointed with his fork to indicate he wanted some wine. He was already eatting his meal. Swallowing he started cutting some more meatloaf. "Your food will get cold if you don't eat it. And if you think mother is scary now, just wait til you see how angry she gets over wasted food."

"I see." he retook his seat. Cutting some of the meatloaf and taking a bite. "I'm surprised you all don't have supper together." he stated before taking another bite.

"Everyone else is having dinner downstairs, save for father of course, who's stuck at the office."

"Why aren't you joining them?" he asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"I was studying."

"But your finished."

"Do you realize i'm about a year ahead in my studies?"

"That's incredible. But it doesn't explain..."

"I like being alone okay. Now shut up and eat your dinner, your ruining the silence."

"Yes sir." Sebastian poked at his meal. Thinking humans were strange, yet could be annoying, he decided to just eat the food on his dish just to keep them from becoming wise of what he was.


When Ciel woke up that morning, he was jumping for joy. The storm had ended. Which meant he could go looking for his butler. But he needed some help, and there was one person he thought he could ask. His aunt. His phone lines were still down, so he had to go in person. He saw her manor coming up ahead. And only hoped she wouldn't become wise to Sebastian's special identity.


Sebastian was following Edward as if he were his butler. Edward had taking to having a personal servant well. Even if they did have to share a bed for the moment.

"Sebastian get me my account books."

"Yes sir." he grabbed the indicated books, and placed them before Edward in the study.

"There's something that just isn't adding up. These must be balanced immediately."

"Yes sir." Sebastian opened an offered book.

"Compare everything in there with receipts and make proper corrections."

"Yes sir." he got work work while Edward worked on a separate book.


Frances sat in the waiting room with Ciel across from her. "I thought you'd come after the storm ended."

"You did?" he was surprised.

"Of course, it was rather obvious considering the circumstances." she got up and indicated he follow. He followed her until she came to the study and opened the door. "Especially since we had your butler here for the past few days."

"Sebastian!" He was shocked. To think Sebastian would come here of all places was surprising. And he wondered if Sebastian had come here so he could be found.

"Will you be silent!" Edward shouted. "Can't you see we're trying to work?"

"That's my butler your using for your work!" Ciel shot back. "Sebastian come! We're leaving!" he ordered. But Sebastian didn't even seem to be listening to him or acknowledging he'd even come through the door.

"What did you spend 100 pounds at the Atilie for?" he simply asked Edward.

"Let me see that!" he snatched the receipt from Sebastian. Looking it over for a moment. "Oh...OHH! I remember this. Put it under school expenses."

"Yes sir." Sebastian wrote in the book.

"SEBASTIAN!" Ciel shouted as he went up to the table they were working at. "Do you dare ignore me?"

Sebastian looked up at his master and blinked. "Young master when did you get here?" he asked. Apparently he'd been so engrossed in his work he hadn't even realized his master was there.

"You idiot! I've been here for the past few minutes!"

"Oh." he went back to his work as if his master didn't even phase him. Writing in the accounting books precisely for each expense as if his master wasn't there.

"Sebastian." Ciel growled.

"Do you mind?" Edward glared at him as he tapped his finger.

"Indeed I do mind! Sebastian get in the carriage we're leaving."

"No." Sebastian stated bluntly.

"How dare you go against your master!" he shouted enraged.

"I can't tolerate your abuse anymore." he got up from his seat. And grabbed another book from the shelf.

"Abuse? ABUSE? Your claiming I abused you!" he shouted.

"What else do you call calling someone useless, yet making them do all the work?" he stated then retook his seat.

"It was to teach you a lesson!"

"Could of fooled me." he stated as he opened the new book.

"Aunt Frances he's..." he turned to her, but he clearly saw he was in a losing battle.

"I'm sorry to say nephew, but we are aware of the full situation. And we've offered Sebastian a full time job here as Edwards personal servant. I understand for you he's the perfect butler, but he's still a person. And as you can see he does not wish to go with you." she stated. "Unless of course, you'd like to work things out, man to man." she offered.

"What do you mean?"

"Sebastian's conditions were he'd go back if you apologized. A rather simple request if you ask me. Of course to stop the abuse as well."

"I told you we were just trying to teach him a lesson!"

"Even so as the master it is your job to know everything about your servants. Even when they've had a loss."

"A loss?" he was confused. "What loss?"

"You don't know?" he looked at him. "Then you've failed as a master to your servant." she walked away.

"Failed...HE'S FAILED ME AS MY SERVANT!" he shot back, but was ignored. He shook in anger as he clentched his fists.


Ciel stayed at his aunts manor for the time being. Trying to figure out a way to get his butler back. But there was only one way, and after much thought, he swallowed his price and entered Edwards room.

The two were sleeping peacefully. Why Edward chose to allow Sebastian to stay in his room he didn't know considering there was more room now that the other servants relatives were gone. But it made it easier to find the demon. He shook the demon's shoulder as he had his back turned to him. The demon groaned and shifted to move further away from him.

"Sebastian." Ciel whispered trying to not wake his cousin up. "Sebastian." he shook him again.

"Whaatt..?" Sebastian responded in annoyance. It was apparent he still wanted to sleep.

"I need to tell you something."

"It's 3 in the morning. Can't it wait til later?" he whined.

"No. Please."

Sebastian slowly turned to face his master, his expression was filled with complete shock. "Did you just say please?"

"Yes, Sebastian please allow me to speak with you."

Sebastian got up and followed Ciel to the hallway.

"Is that what you sleep in? A button up shirt?" he raised a brow.

"Is this what you woke me up for? To talk about what I sleep in at night?"

"No. It was just a shocker. God I hope my cousin is wearing pants." he stated as he didn't want to think about what his butler and cousin could be doing.

"As a matter of fact he does, and he puts a pillow between us to keep any accidental space interference away." he crossed his arms.

Ciel blinked several times at that statement, and decided it was better to not persue it further. "Look, I just wanted to apologize for how I went about teaching you my lesson."

"Your...apologizing." he was shocked. "Wait what's the catch?" he crossed his arms. Surely his master wouldn't take him for a fool as to think that would be the end of it.

"There's no catch. I'm giving you an honest apology."

"Define honest." he persisted.

Ciel's eye twitched a little but he tried to remain calm. "Okay, I get it, your still mad. And what happened isn't exactly making your trust come smoothly. But take it from my side. You were being a jerk and we didn't know why."

"You could of asked me what was wrong instead of assuming I was just doing it to do it." he snubbed. "Trying to justify your actions is wrong and you know it."

"Fine, that was my bad." he stated in aggitation. "I'm sorry." he stated in all honesty. Hoping the demon would see that he was being sincere. For a moment silence had taken over, and Ciel anxiously awaited the demon's verdict. Those long few minutes were agony. Until he broke the silence. "So...will you come home?"

Sebastian looked at his master for a moment as if he were in thought. "Am I welcome home?" he asked in a slight hesitation. He still felt like his master really didn't want him there. He was asking just to be sure.

"Yes." Ciel stated. "Also forgive the others, they were just following my orders."

"That much I knew." he looked off to the side as if he were bored. "There was nothing that would make them come up with something so cruel." he started walking back into Edward's room.

"Where are you going?" he asked with abit of urgency. For a moment he thought Sebastian wasn't going to come home.

"Young master, i'm glad you want me home. But i'm not leaving this house without my pants on in the very least." he smirked.

"Oh..." he blushed. "Right." he coughed. "Well then...I'll meet you downstairs then."

"Young master..." Sebastian called.


"You might want to have a pair of pants on when you leave this house too." he giggled.

Ciel looked down at himself and realized he too was in his pajamas. "Right...pants would be good...and shoes." he was embarrassed.


A few days later everything at the house seems to be mostly normal. But Ciel noted Sebastian always seemed sad when he went the side garden. He didn't know how to deal with the matter, other than not to do another lesson as before. He was contimplating having the demon speak with a doctor. Especially since Sebastian seemed to avoid the subject of his loss. It seemed he didn't trust his master enough to tell him. But what was he to expect? If anything his lesson had taught him abit of something. Always ask before making assumptions. A good lesson indeed for himself. Their bond was strong, so he knew they could work things out in time. Trust would have to be renewed. But he knew it'd make things better.


Sebastian went about the small garden. Removing weeds, trimming dead leaves, planting new seeds. He wanted to keep the small garden the way she'd last seen it. Making a small bouquet of flowers he put them over her grave. "I apologize for not coming to see you in so long." he stated. "I was having abit of troubles you see." he told her. In his mind he thought it was a tad silly to speak to the dead. But it did make him feel a tad better.

"What was that?" he perked up. He'd heard something near the stairs to the house. Curious, he walked over and pushed away some of the bushes so he could get a better look. "AHHH!" he cooed. Hidden by the stairs was a litter of kittens. Four to be exact. Three were pure black, while one was mostly black with white socks on his front paws. They were tiny, only a few weeks old at most. He concluded. Picking them up, they mewed at him constantly as they were very hungry. "Ohhh my you poor things must be so hungry." he stated aloud. 'They smell just like her.' he stated in his mind. And figured they were her kittens. "Let me get you all some nice warm milk." he hugged them close as he took them inside to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl he filled it with milk, allowing the kittens to eat. "Hey now don't eat so fast, there's plenty go around." he smiled.

Without his knowledge he was being watched from a crack from the kitchen door. "That's the happiest i've seen that guy in a while." Ciel stated as he kept his nose covered.

"They're so cute!" Maylene whispered. "They look like the cat from the side garden."

"Side garden?" Ciel repeated questionably. Then it dawned on it. "I that's his loss."

"What are you gonna do young master?" Finni asked. "Sebastian seems very attached to the kittens."

"He'll probably get depressed again if you get rid of them." Bard added.

"But the young master has allergies." Maylene stated.

Everyone tried to think for a moment. "I think." Tanaka started as he was in his normal self. "Perhaps a compromise is in order." This confused everyone as they gave him awkward looks.


Sebastian sat in his room playing with the kittens on his bed. They cutely attempted to get the toy he was teasing them with. Even jumping on him every so often in an attempt to claim the toy. When his master stated it was okay for him to keep the kittens he was excited. Though at first he thought he would be forced to get rid of them. But he had to keep them in his room. Something he was more than glad to do. His trust of his master opened up a little, as he could see his master was attempting to help him get over his sadness.

It would take time, but it was a start.


Well if you haven't figured it out yet, i've been rather depressed lately. Alot has happened on my end for a while and I wanted to write a fic to express my feelings. My friends cat died, then my friend's mom's brother died. And then my friend's 7 month old baby was in the hospital, but luckily her baby is home and fine again =). On top of this some issues with a friend and her sister in law for a bit there. So yeah there's been alot. Don't get me wrong this hasn't been preventing me from writing fics. My lack of updates is due to school actually.

I've had alot of tests since the semester started and tons of homework =/ Right now is one of the few chances i've had to relax, but i've been having a difficulty time sleeping. Even yesterday before class I couldn't seem to sleep even after work and I went to class exhausted. I personally think I failed my history test. I couldn't think very well since I was so tired =. So today i'ma try to get some sleep.

I've gotten some of my cosplay done. I'm still working on the lasts (used in shoemaking) to make my shoes for my undertaker shoes. One is mostly done so that's good =). On a side note i'm also selling some things on so take a look if your interested. I'm Shunhades on there.

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this fic. I'll try to have chapters to other fics up soon. Reviews and comments appreciated.