Alright everyone, this is technically now one year in the making since I haven't been on here much, but now I'm back to write more stories and hilarious "How to Annoy" lists. Following my "ways to make the Organization kill you", and with the help of one of my reviewer's of the story I decided to let the Organization get some payback, and now here's the fruit of their efforts.

How to make the Inhabitants of Radiant Garden/Hollow Bastion murder the absolute hell out of you.

WARNING: Contains violence, character bashing (slight) and total weirdness against Kingdom Hearts, Disney and Square Enix characters. Read at your own risk! You may suffer from mass hysteria, split sides... And slight erectile dysfunction.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Kingdom Hearts/Square Enix related characters, the geniuses who created them do!


"What's say you about the recent outbreak of heartless in Port Royale, Superior?" The silverette raised an eyebrow at the newly found and rather out-of-character slang the Second in Command had recently picked up.

"Honestly VII, I send you on a mission to the pirate world for one day and already you're talking like one of them." He gave a rare smirk that only few organization members had ever witnessed. "I'd expect as much from the others but never you."

The two continued down one of the twisting white halls they always seemed to be travelling through, both of them feeling slightly peckish after a day of missions to other worlds and cleaning up after the younger members had blown a hole through his office wall.

For the fifth time in a week.

They rounded a corner, stopping only upon seeing almost every other member around the kitchen table and... Smiling? Laughing?

"What's going on here everyone? Did you push IX down the stairs again?"

"Far from it Superior." Number IV said, keeping his orchard green eyes fixed on the giggling Nobodies. "Do you remember a week ago when some little bastard stuck all those lists around our castle? Well we've sort of come up with an infantile way of getting payback."

Xemnas couldn't help but cock his head slightly to the side in confusion, like Saix sometimes did subconsciously, watching as the group start bursting out in laughter again. "Payback? How so?"

"We're writing revenge lists!" Demyx screamed excitedly from somewhere inside the pile.


"We're going to pay those bastards in Hollow Bastion for what they did! We'll write lists about every member of that stupid Restoration Committee and post them all over town!" Vexen sighed heavily at Xigbar's loud remark, rubbing his temple. The Superior simply stared.

"We don't even know if they were the ones who wrote them!"

"Maybe not! But they're the ones with the most reason to do it!"

"What about the Keyblade kid?" Axel piped up from behind the Melodious Nocturne, who was currently busy writing down another strange though wonderfully funny line (as Demyx had labelled to them). Xigbar paused, glaring daggers at the red porcupine, his icy stare only having half the impact due to his missing eye. Which was totally not Xaldin's fault. (1)

"Even if it was that little wiener, he's always hangin' around with them, so they're the most obvious choice. Besides, if we hit them, it'll send a message back to IB 1, 2 and 3." (2)

"Ugh, whatever." The blonde Nobody threw his hands over his head, leaving the Superior's side –Xemnas still silent with confusion- and walking over to the group, reading some of the things they had wrote down. Xemnas glanced over to his Second in Command, searching for some sort of answer to this utter nonsense. Saix shrugged, the two moving in and picking up one of the papers.

After reading the first line, he rolled his amber eyes, shaking his head slowly and setting it back down with the others.

"You know what, fellow members? Go nuts, I have reports that need writing out. Call me if anything goes wrong. Or if anyone dies."


Xemnas portalled out of the bustling dining room, the others thinking he had portalled straight to his large, quiet office. Little did they know the usually calm and collected member had jumped to the farthest room in the castle, so as they couldn't hear his uncontrollable laughter erupting from his lungs.


Meh. A simple start, but should be a good few lists. It's the best I could do at 3 in the morning!

(1)- Yeahhhhh, I have Birth By Sleep, and I know how he really lost his eye :D

(2)- My grandfather used to call my two older brothers IB 1 and IB 2 when they were younger. Its short for Idiot Bastard One and Idiot Bastard Two XD

Next chapters up very soon, so please R&R! ~