Raining Men



Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ~Attributed to both Marion Smith and Nicole Hollander.

I hate buses. They're full of smelly people, scary hobos, perverted drivers, and, worst of all, men.

God, I hate men. Probably even more than I hate buses.

To be honest, I don't really hate men as much as I'm scared shitless of them. I don't know exactly how far back my fears go, but I know the root of them. That's something I definitely don't feel like talking about. In fact, let's just forget I mentioned it.

Back to my point, buses suck. And just thinking about how I'm stuck on this one for another thirty minutes made me cringe. My destination isn't much better. Actually, it's worse.

See, this all started about two days ago. Tsunade-baka thought it was time for me to 'grow up and get over it' as she so delicately put. "Go. Have fun. Get over your fear already!" She said, but she doesn't understand. Tsunade thrives off the attention of men. She loves using and abusing them. How could she ever understand how someone like me, who has no reason to think men are decent, feels?

But no, don't listen to the patient. She has no idea what's best for her!

So yeah, here I am. On a bus. On my way to hell.

...It's also known as the Konoha Academy for Boys.

2 Days Ago




I slammed a hand on the snooze button, desperate to get at least one more minute of sleep. I knew it was futile, though. School was waiting for me like the bar was Tsunade-sama. Which basically meant it was time to wake up. Like, now.

Groaning, I rolled out of my comforter and onto the apartment floor. I cracked an eye open to check the time. 5:30 a.m. I still had plenty of time to shower and get dressed for school, even catch my bus. Yay.

I didn't bother calling for Shizune, she left at four to go do nurse things at the hospital downtown. I really owned her a lot. After my mom died and my dad went to jail, she took me in, knowing it meant she couldn't marry. I was only eight at the time, but I still remember how relieved I was when I heard I wouldn't have to go to the orphanage.

After showering and running a brush through my damp hair, I tossed on a slightly baggy, soft red hoodie and a pair of black baggy sweatpants. I barely paid attention to what I wore these days, it wasn't like I was trying to impress anyone. Especially since I went to an all-girls school.

By the time I finished prepping for the day it was only 5:52. My bus didn't come until six-thirty, so I had time to spare. Grabbing my simple black book-bag, I pulled out my A.P. chemistry packet and began to study.

After about seven minutes of silence, my phone started to vibrate in my pants' pocket.


Get over it, you perv.

Hey, I'm you.

Shut up.

I pressed the call button and held the blackberry to my ear. "Hello?"


Oh shit, Tsunade!


"You didn't call me last night. How do you expect me to help you if I can't even keep up with your progress?"

Crap. Crap. Crap. I could hear the rising anger in her voice. If I didn't think of something quick, she was going to blow up on me again.

"I was washing my dog!"

Smooth, Sak.

I could feel her smirk. That's right. I felt it. "You don't have a dog."

"Then I was washing my cat...?"

"Just stop. I know you're lying. Why don't you call when you're supposed to? I'm your therapist! I only want to help you!"

Now that pissed me off. She thinks that after only a month of being my therapist, she has the right to act like she knows best? This women doesn't know shit about me!

"I don't NEED your help!"

"YES, YOU DO! You're not going to get over your fear of men all by yourself, Sakura. I know that you've been through a traumatic experience, considering your father and all-"

"Don't you dare mention him!"

For a moment, we were both silent. Then I heard Tsunade sigh on the other line and just knew she was about to deliver some unwelcome news.

"Listen, Sakura, I'm trying to help. And I think I came up with a way to do that, too."

"I told you-"

"You don't have a choice in this. It's what's best for your health. Now, are you going to shut it and listen to what I have to say or am I going to ship you off without any aspect of what's happening?"

Ship me off? What was going on? Is this crazy women thinking of sending me to a nuthouse?

"I'll be quiet." I said, begrudgingly.

"Good. Here's what I've been thinking; instead of slowly easing your fear into your daily surroundings, I was thinking I could just toss you in the middle of your worst nightmare." I swear, there was glee in her voice.

"And this will help me how...?"

"It's a technic I sometimes use with my more difficult patients. So since you're afraid of men, I'm going to send you to an all-boys school run by a childhood friend of mine. You'll be cured in two weeks, tops!"

I couldn't speak, couldn't breath. Had she really just said that? Tsunade-the bitch-was going to send me to an all boys school. Full of boys. Smelly, dirty boys who have probably been secluded to their own school because they couldn't keep their hands to themselves.

"-And I'll have one of the students show you around. Sakura? Hello? Oh, my! You're so excited you can't even speak!"


Current Happenings

"Damn." I let out a low whistle as the cab driver let me off in the school parking lot. There were at least seventy cars here; all porches, lamberginis, or hummers. The school itself was amazing, as well; a tall, castle-like structure composed of three towers, the middle being the tallest and the two others supporting it. There was a clock smack in the middle of one tower, too, only it was almost as regal as the rest of the place.

A stone walkway met me as I left the parking lot. The school gate was closed, which wasn't much of a surprise considering it was a Monday night. It must be at least eight now, since my journey here started at 7 am and it feels like it's been forty hours since then.

I looked around for a button or something to push that would open the gates, because no way was I sleeping outside in the cold. IT was supposed to be spring here, but I still had to wear my heavy winter jacket over my hoodie. Maybe it was because I was so thin, I didn't have enough flab to keep me warm.

After about a minute of searching, I sighed in defeat. Turning back to the gate, I tried one last thing.

"Open sesame."

The gate swung open.

"Well damn," I muttered, hesitantly taking a step onto the white stone path. It was so dark, I was afraid of something jumping out at me. Then my gaze landed on the school again, and I remembered who the real monsters were.

I gazed up at the huge white walls, willing myself to walk before someone hopped out of a bush and mugged me. "C'mon, Sak. You can do this..." I mumbled weakly, playing with the strap of my carry-on bag. The hand holding my suitcase was shaking.

Finally, after a shuttering breath, I managed to take one step forward...

...and it all went to hell from there.

"HEY! PERSON! ARE YOU LOST?" Someone shouted literally right next to my ear. I screamed and swung my suitcase at them, smirking slightly when I heard a low thump.

"That'll teach you to sneak up on me." I warned, turning to look at whatever moron I hit with my awesome kung-fu moves. Instead of an unconcious moron, the sight I was met with make my whole body start shaking with terror.

There were two boys. One was lying on the ground, hands held up to stop my suitcase. He had blonde spiky hair and electric blue eyes. The other was standing, holding back my luggage from reaching the other boy. He had black hair that spiked up in the back and was looking at me with such a cold expression I was surprised I didn't freeze.

The Ice King looked me up and down, smirking when his eyes landed on my terrified face. "You must be the new girl." Was all he said.

But it was all he needed to say to send me sprinting back to the gate.

"WAIT! WE COME IN PEACE!" One of the boys (I think the blonde one) shouted. I could hear their footsteps close behind me, and sped up. I guess it was a good thing I was so small, because I was the fastest girl on the track team back at my old school. The only one who even came close to out-running me was Tenten, and it would be a while before I saw her again.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed, rattling the bars of the now-closed school gate. I was frantic, they might as well have been after my lucky charms for how scared I was.

I whipped around, back pressed to the gate, when I heard their heavy footsteps right behind me. The dark haired one stepped up to me, first pressing a cool palm to my forehead, then to my neck.

"W-what are you doing?" I chattered, trying to get out from between the gate and his chest. No use. I was trapped like a rat in a cage.

"Quiet," He mumbled. "I'm checking to see if you have a fever."

I slapped his hand away, "I'm not sick."

"Then why were you running away form us?" The blonde one poked his head out from behind his dark friend, fixing me with the curious gaze of a child.

By then, the dark one had moved on to checking my heartbeat, his palm pressed over me chest. I kicked him in the knee, but only got a grunt in response.


"Because why?"

"Because you were chasing me!"

"We were chasing you because you were running from us." The dark one explained, stepping back. He must've been satisfied with my well-being enough to let me walk on my own but when I reached for my luggage they had already taken hold of them and started down the path again.

"Give those back!" I demanded, still a little shaky. No way was I walking in that school with those two guard dogs.

The blonde one looked back and raised an eyebrow at me, "But it's too heavy for you to carry!"

"No, it's not!" I argued, staying a good ten feet behind them.

"Yes, it is." The dark one said in a tone that felt final. I sighed and stuffed my shaking hands in my pockets, shuffling along the path to hell.

After a few moments, the silence became too much for blondie. "By the way, my name's Naruto! And this teme right here is Sasuke!"


"That's nice." I said.

Naruto stared at me expectantly.


"Aren't you gonna tell us your name?"

"Well," I started, dryly. "You knew I was new, and that I would be arriving tonight, so I don't see how you couldn't know my name, too."

Sasuke gave me a glare that sent shivers up and down my spine. "Jiraiya, the headmaster, held an assembly earlier today to inform us of your enrollment here. He didn't tell us your name or why you had to come to this school, of all places."

Of all places. Well, that certainly sounded welcoming.



I winced at the loudness of Naruto's voice. "Lower your voice, idiot! It's too late to be screaming like that!"

"Sakura," Sasuke said, my name rolling off his tongue. He smirked, "It fits you."

"Shut the hell up."

"Why are you shaking?" Naruto asked, falling into step beside me. "Are you cold? You can borrow my jacket if you are, Sakura-chan!"

"N-NO!" Dammit. He just made me start shaking all over again. I didn't even want to be near these guys, let alone wear their clothes.

Naruto looked so hurt, though. I managed a tight smile. "I mean, no thanks. I'm not cold."

"Then why are you shaking?" Damn Ice King. He just wasn't going to let this go.

I rivaled Sasuke's glare with one of my own. "Just cuz."

"Cuz why?"

"Because I am."

He looked like he was about to argue further, but just as Sasuke opened his mouth, I turned away stubbornly and closed my eyes.

...and ran smack into the school doors.


I hate nurses.

More then I hate buses.

But not nearly as much as I hate men.

"Not. A. Word."

"I wasn't saying anything."

"But you were about to."

" I wasn't."


"Don't get all worked up about it." Sasuke muttered, pressing the icepack harder against my throbbing cheek. After being introduced to the door I had immediately started crying. I won't deny I'm a cry baby, it's not my fault it hurt. What were those doors made out of? Steel?

Sasuke had sent Naruto to drop off my stuff in my dorm and told him he would meet him back in theirs after taking me to the nurse. I was temped to make a gay joke about the fact that they lived together, but my face hurt to much to talk.

"Don't press so hard." I whined, taking his hand and pushing it back.

Sasuke smirked, "That's what she said."



I sighed. Boys really were more trouble then they were worth. "You're amazing." I said dryly.

"I know."

"I hate you."

"Yeah...but look on the bright side."

I looked up at him curiously. "What bright side could this situation possibly have?"

"You're not shaking anymore."

And he was right. At least, until I heard the next phrase to exit his mouth.

"Tomorrow we have classes, by the way. Me and the dobe will introduce you to the rest of the guys."




Chapter one, complete :)

Review and let me know if I should continue this.


~ Orange Sherbet