Now, I'm sure you all know the story of how, called by the lamentations of his people, Yuuri-heika, 27th Maou, peace-bringer, came to Shin Makoku.
(I was called by the lady's room toilet.)
What happened next is the subject of today's tale.
Yuuri-heika first laid eyes on the renowned beauty of Wolfram Von Bielefeld outside Castle Von Voltaire. Now, in most stories it would have been love at first sight. But most stories lack the powerful wills held by Von Bielefeld-kaka and Yuuri-heika.
(Heh, no kidding.)
(No one asked you, Murata.)
Rather than love, the two men felt great dislike. Von Bielefeld-kaka was a vocal supporter of his eldest brother, Von Voltaire-kaka, who was expected to be named Maou. Yuuri-heika was displeased by the brothers' ambitions and lack of loyalty.
(I forget, wimp. Was that before or after you fell of the horse?)
(After. Now who's taking during the recital?)
(And don't call me a wimp.)
Have you ever set eyes on Wolfram Von Bielefeld? His hair shines like the midday sun. His eyes, alight with his fiery nature, shine the greenest green. His skin is soft and pale, even in midsummer; his lips moist and red even in midwinter. His bearing is that of a nobleman and a soldier, strong and confident. His voice is that of a siren, melodious and resonant. Those upon which he graces with his attentions are the most fortunate of men and women.
(Well, he got the resonant voice right – Ow!)
(You really asked for that one, Shibuya.)
Given time and the opportunity to reflect upon these traits, Yuuri-heika became smitten. Indeed, some have said that is was the fire and passion with which Von Bielefeld-kaka defended his brother that caught Yuuri-heika's eye. Others claim that he overlooked Von Bielefeld-kaka's disrespect in deference to the beauty offered him.
(Your mom poisoned the bath.)
(She does that sometimes.)
In either case, Yuuri-heika was bound and determined to have that which was worthy of him. Wasting no time, he proposed that very night, not even awaiting the end of the evening meal.
(Why, Shibuya, I had no idea!)
(It was so embarrassing.)
(You think it was embarrassing for you!)
(Shh… your voice is resonating a little too much.)
And who would refuse such an offer? There is, I'm sure, no one in the audience here today who would rebuff an advance from Maou-heika. However, we are not made of the same stuff as Wolfram Von Bielefeld.
(Snips and snails and puppy dog's tails?)
(Nah, I think Von Bielefeld-kyou's more of a sugar and spice guy.)
(…thank you, Geika. I think.)
For Von Bielefeld-kaka has a powerful pride. He has been admired and chased for all his life, and rarely allows the chase to end successfully. Immediately, and some say foolishly, he challenged Yuuri-heika to a duel for his hand.
Ah, I know what you're going to say; they live happily together, therefore Yuuri-heika must have won the duel. This is true, and obviously so; who is stronger than Yuuri-heika? He who brought peace to this land through his might. He who defeated Soushu and Shinou-Who-Was-Possessed. He who wields the mateki and the maken. There stands no man today or any other day who can match his power.
(If you two don't stop laughing, they'll throw us out.)
But more than powerful, our Maou is kind. He chose a battle that would harm neither himself, nor the beauty he courted. Even then, Von Bielefeld-kaka's pride was not satisfied, and they duelled in earnest, first with blade then maryoku. The battle was an epic clash of fire and water, the first our Maou had fought. In the end, Yuuri-heika stood victorious, although at a price – he lay abed for three days after.
(At least Doria wasn't hurt.)
(Shut up! I apologized right after.)
It is said that while he lay recuperating, Von Bielefeld-kaka stayed by his bedside, awaiting his recovery. And they have been inseparable ever since.